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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

[Awakening] 23-12-2009 12:53 AM

yay! I talked to the nurses and managed to get my girlfriend leave tomorrow to go christmas shopping!!! Plus i requested time over christmas too so if tomorrow goes well all should be cool.

*hugs to everyone* I hope ur all doing ok - sorry i'll catch up soon but im soo tired right now x x x x

Scarletdreamer 23-12-2009 10:19 AM

Aww Franz *huggles* Thank you. :) My tummy feels much better now, took some antacids and other stuff and it doesn't hurt now. Guess it was just nerves or something, dunno. Weird.

That sounds like a cool tattoo. :) Could you post a pic of it or send a pic to me via email or PM? And what's a scaffold piercing? Sorry if that's a dense question... >_< I don't know piercing names very well.

Scarlett, that's awesome!! I hope that you enjoy yourself. :) *hugs*

I'm doing meh. Today's the day of the awful nutritionist appt and I'm probably getting worked up over nothing, but... I really hope he doesn't brush this all off and pretend like it's no biggie. I really don't want to leave there all upset and stuff. :( Especially as it costs a good deal per appt.

And I don't have an appt scheduled with either my therapist or my NP, so I don't know when I will see them again. That's frustrating!! but I will survive... grrr. :(

*hugs everyone and sets out more calorie-free chocolates* :)

SoMuchMore 23-12-2009 05:28 PM

*hugs davengenzz (franz?)* I would be so scared to do a self-piercing lol, too many horror stories i've heard I guess. You're tattoos sound awesome. I love music.

*hugs scarlett whore* Sounds like fun! Hope you have a good time shopping.

*hugs april* Hope that your appt goes alright. I hate it when doctors brush you off, its awful feeling.

I feel like i'm on the edge of something, but I don't know what exactly. I need to talk to my friend badly, but its winter break and he is far far away, so I don't want to bother him with my stupid drama. And it is stupid drama... I'm not going to do anything horrible... I never do... so... yeah...

Anyway, i'm baking cookies today. I'll leave some calorie free ones in here later :-)

Absynnthe 23-12-2009 08:53 PM

*huggles onto Laura and April.* I shall post in it the creative corner when I'm done with it. :) I'm rather excited about it!

And a scaffold is a bar across your ear peirced in 2 places. :) A La...

The following content has been hidden - Reason : Picture!

Mhm.... And nah, I don't like peircing shops! I dunno why.. o.O Probably people touching my weirdly XD

Went to the Doctors today...Getting a mental health assessment. My mother thinks I'm going to kill myself. >.<

Scarletdreamer 23-12-2009 11:22 PM

Laura, if you have to, talk with your friend. Even if it is just drama, it's best to get it out there. Also, if you think you're on the edge of something bad, please love, talk to someone!! *big hugs*

*huggles Franz* Ahh, I've seen scaffolding piercings. Kinda want one myself but never got up the nerve. Anyway, I've got studs in up there on my ear where a scaffold piercing would be. :) The piercing parlor was kind of a scary place... mostly because it was a piercing parlor and I saw this one dude getting a tattoo (in between me getting my nose pierced - by the same guy!!) and he looked so bored, lol - and the tattoo dude was just mopping up the mess as he went... urgh, it was triggerish. :(

Probably good that you got a mental health assessment, maybe then you can get a bit of help for whatever is going on? *cuddles gently*

I feel rubbishy. Saw my nutritionist today and he wants to see me next week. He said that it's cheaper than it would be if I went in hospital >_< which is true, as insurance probably wouldn't cover a stay for EDs in a hospital or whatever. Ugh. I'm supposed to eat a great deal of protein and eat a lot in the morning - but for the first time, I think, since I've seen him, he didn't tell me a calorie min/max that I have to reach. So that's AWESOME. Heh. And he did take me seriously, which was also awesome. :)

I'm just really scared that I'm actually going to develop bulimia. My ED before was more aimed at AN, but now it's totally changed... my therapist thinks it may be my subconscious unhealthy reaction to starting to like food again. Dunno though - but it does kinda make sense.

Supper's coming up, I'm scared... I hate dealing with food!!!!

Blah, sorry for the waffling. :(

*needs hugs*

Absynnthe 23-12-2009 11:43 PM

*gentle huggles* I agree, I'm finding it hard at the moment. But my doctor was nice and prescribed me strong antiseptic stuff for my arms. So good times!

And you're not waffling. Oooh, waffles. Damn it, I'm hungry now. XD

Much love and licks *huggle*

SoMuchMore 23-12-2009 11:46 PM

*walks in with lots of sugar, butter, and chocolate chip cookies - that are perfectly fine to eat as they are cyber-cookies and therefore, very good for u*

Told my family about my boyfriend being in the air force... they didn't react as badly as i thought which is good. I don't know exactly what i'm on the edge of... hopefully its just a feeling and it will pass quickly... or maybe its just that the 30 day mark is in my head still and screwing with me.. I dont know.
And I would talk but... I just kinda minimize everything when I do b/c i don't want ppl to worry, so then I feel even more stupid for talking in the first place... Talking has never seemed to really help much anyway i guess.

Absynnthe 24-12-2009 12:18 AM

*rugby tackles for cyber cookies*

*sits on, chomps*

*gives thumbs up for good news, pats for bad*

Scarletdreamer 24-12-2009 12:29 AM

Gahh I feel utterly, completely, and totally awful.


*sits in corner and cries*

Absynnthe 24-12-2009 12:58 AM

:O April and Kiera! *gentle cuddles and teddybears*

Vent! It may help. ANd by vent, I meant talk online... or in journal... :(

*Nuzzles April* :(

Scarletdreamer 24-12-2009 02:07 AM

*gentle cuddles to Kiera and Franz*

Well, I guess I'll vent here a little if no one minds. :-/

I'm worried about the bulimic urges, don't know if they are more serious than I thought before. I feel awful because of what I've eaten today - no binges, just food I never would've eaten before this. I hate this "freedom" that I have now that I'm not totally vegetarian. Which was, I admit, an eating disordered thing. Meat does have a lot of calories - but that's mainly the red meat. I'm sticking to seafood for now as that has omega-3s and all. But anyway... the "freedom" scares me and makes me want to go back to my "old ways" of restricting intake... but I CAN'T!!! because my husband won't let me. So instead it's bingeing urges that come on - like tonight - and then purging urges... it's so crazy... I don't want the stigma that comes with being bulimic. I don't believe in it, and I really want to give in to the behaviors, and even effing looked at TIPS tonight (I am such an effing IDIOT, I wouldn't be surprised if you all don't want to talk with me again)...

I don't know. I'm just a mess. I hate my life, I'm tired, just drunk two cups of tea (gingerbread, and cranberry-apple) and want to go to bed. I've been up since 3:30am and need my sleeps... tomorrow's Christmas Eve and then Christmas and I'm scared that I'm going to eat too much, etc... even if it is healthy stuff. :(

Need support, need help, need PUPPY SINCLAIR!!!!!!!

*more cuddles for Franz and Kiera*

Detour. Derail 24-12-2009 03:10 AM

I know Ive not been around much at all but ive been at uni
right now my life is ****
I need a cuddle else im gonna go do something daft

Detour. Derail 24-12-2009 07:55 AM

I dont like the chat.
Everything falls apart.
its fine...just...forget i said anything.
Im just gonna carry on being invisible

Kahlia1981 24-12-2009 09:05 AM

*walks in after a really long period without internet*
*hugs absolutely everyone*

I went psychotic last night for 3 or 4 hours and have just realised that during that period I attacked myself. Thankfully not badly. But ....
I've just moved house and I guess that's been stressing me and then my housemate went to hospital with chest pains yesterday and has really only just returned home. He's having some real difficulties right now as it seems that his AP medication has a nasty side effect of degenerating muscles - which caused the chest pain.
Man, oh, man. I just want to disappear right now ...

*cuddles everyone again and then disappears into a corner*

Scarletdreamer 24-12-2009 02:26 PM

*hugs Kiera* Yeh, I've been anorexic (not DSM-IV classifiably as I didn't lose my periods) but now it's turning into bulimia... urgh. I know that purging really isn't good for you but it's so hard to resist. :( I feel like such an idiot. :'(

*gently hugs Alexx* I'm sorry that you're not doing too well at the moment. Care to talk about it?

*huggles Kahlia* Aw, psychosis is never fun. :( Trust me, been there done that. Not attacked myself though... are you okay? have you talked with your GP/psych about this? I'm glad that you moved - wasn't it stressful in your old flat? Sorry if I'm getting you mixed up with someone else!! :-/

I'm a little better today. Worried about the Christmas food but as my parents know what's going on, they won't be angry with me if I don't eat too much. Whew. It's just my immediate family, me, and my husband. :) Should be nice.

So tired. Got up at 6:10am today but yesterday got up at 3:30am... stupid me. Urgh.

*sends cuddles out to Franz*

one_step_closer 24-12-2009 03:37 PM

I don't want it to be Christmas. I don't want to pretend that everything is ok, well I pretend every day anyway. I just want out of life.

Scarletdreamer 24-12-2009 05:42 PM

^^ I understand. *gentle hugs* Can't say I understand everything that you've been through and are going through, but I can understand wanting out of life. I am so sick of living, so sick of how I keep going in cycles of better and worse and worse and worse and better... but anyway. Sorry for the tangent. If you need to talk, I'm here. *more hugs*

I'm feeling kinda rubbish right now. Ate lunch and it was only small, but I don't want to purge AWFULLY right now, at least. Probably because I only feel half full. Ugh. I just want my brain to stop messing me up. :(

Kahlia1981 24-12-2009 10:57 PM

*hugs April* - yeah psychosis is never fun. I don't know how I am actually. I see my GP on Tuesday morning. *sigh* Yeah the old place was pretty stressful, I would have been evicted if I'd had a psychotic episode or some other signs of my illness...

*hugs Lindsay*

*hugs everyone*

Well it's Christmas morning and I feel like sh*t. My housemate went back to hospital yesterday. I don't know how he is. His mother said when she gave me an update last night that if he was released then he would spend the night at their place and regardless of whether he was released or not she would pick me up at 12 today to either go to their place for christmas lunch/dinner or to the hospital so that I could see him. Very stressful ... But I'm still really glad that she thought of me and how things would be stressing me out.

Merry Christmas to anyone who can accept it - if not just forget I said it. And I hope you are all going to manage to get through the day in the best way possible.

Scarletdreamer 24-12-2009 11:56 PM

Kahlia, glad you're seeing your GP soon. :) I'm sorry to hear about your flatmate... that must be rough. I hope that he'll be okay and that you have a Merry Christmas... must be odd having it in the middle of summer!! (right?)

*hugs Kiera* That's awesome - way to be positive!! :D I hope that you have a Merry Christmas also. :)

I'm doing, well, not great. Overate at supper just like I knew I would, not too much support here or privacy for my husband to talk with me... wrote a thread on the ED board about how stuff is here (parents' house) so maybe you could check that out if you have the time?

Christmas Eve right now... am looking forward to tomorrow. Gahhh. Hope it's better than today...

*hugs everyone*

Kahlia1981 25-12-2009 12:00 PM

Well it's nearly the end of christmas day (yes April in the middle of summer). I've had an okay day but right now I just feel bloody awful. I accidentally allowed my flatmate to see the scratches on my chest from the other night when I went psychotic ... I just want to disappear right now ..

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