*cuddles everyone*

*Pulls covers over head*

Really bad today.
So close to breaking point.
I want off the roller-coaster.

^ take everything one minute at a time. Maybe work on distractions, when things are bad distractions are the only thing to suggest.

I get distracted from my distractions right now.
It's not a roller-coaster. You can see where that's going. This is more like freestyle yoho diablo. By an un-co person like me. Lots of crashing to the ground...
Can't see straight. Bye. More tomorrow

Gently hugs everyone and offers hot drinks with marshmallows and cookies.

So over it. Wanna cry. Wanna crawl under a rock and never leave. So over it. Another day like this and I'll do it.

*plops down near you* hello. i'm feeling a little like laying on the floor and crying myself. can i join you?

if you like we can hold hands, hug, lay in silence, finger paint.....

*goes over and sits outside the fort*
hi kahlia.

Bettering now. Dont quite remember what that post was about. Possibly distress at work. It's the main thing triggering me lately.
Bit disturbed that I dont remember. But ah well. Thanks Julie/Owen/Amy/Kate.

*offers safe hugs, pillows, blankets, colouring books, crayons, markers and hot chocolates to anyone who can do with them*

Thanks for joining us in the fort Julie and co.

I'm Saphira, Kahlia's 17 year old alter, here because she nearly attempted to die and disappeared inside about a month ago. She's never been gone this long and I can't be her. Just acting like her when I have to is hard and I am terrified she won't come back. My mood is really low tonight as well and all I want to do is self harm and cry. I can't do this....

*curls up with teddy bear and tries to cry herself to sleep*

*hugs Saphira* I've been wondering about Kahlia, thanks for letting us know. Is there anything we can do?

Annie - Thank you. We are heading down to Brisbane for a three-month overdue ECT treatment in Friday and are hoping that wil both bring Kahlia back and help her feel safe. Until then we're just trying to get through and keep going, no matter what. You've already helped by talking/writing to me and allowing me to be myself.

Down, tired - probably overtired - and life keeps throwing more crappy on us.

I'll be curled up in my pillow fort cuddling my bear if anyone needs anything.

Good luck guys, stay strong.

In other news, I'm not tired. Or sleepy. And I should be.
Pixies digging at my brain. That weird plateau where I crave hurting myself, but enough brainpower left right now to stop me from following through. Think I'm going uppppp. I'll crash.

*Sprays room with anti pixie spray*

hi Saphira *takes a hot chocolates and sits near you and gently strokes you hair*

Working suck bad. Cant sleep.
Thought this year would be better. But it's already gone bad.
Maybe it's my fault.

Back from being in the psych ward... I was a bit surprised on that fact that it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be...

Am at work right now and am doing a lil better being focused on work... but still having a rough time with everything

*sits and feels very alone and sad*

*hands everyone a sausage*

Can I sit here and be broken?
I doubt I'll ever be free. I'll never be normal.