Whats the panic?

*hugs Alexx*

*using his nursing skills stiches up and cleans her wound*

tc there xxx

and MAN i feel grumpy atm...coz i'm tired doh! Be nice stupid me...

uhhhhh :/
I've just cleaned up...
Its abit deep :|
and my arm feels like its on fire

Can you get it seen to hun?

Not right now coz its late...
and im in college all day tomorrow...
And my doctor is completely booked up...

so...probably not :/

Part of me doesnt want to...

*yeh on to more important matters*
How are you?
xxxxxx

U should get it stiched up Alex...it will heal quicker and u won't have a worse off scar than leaving it...

*hugs all* Alexx has it stopped bleeding hun? It is more important that you get it checked out than you go to college. Your health has to come first but I think you know that x

Helen- eating is good :) Please don't drink anymore, stay safe, remember alcohol is a depressant so could quite end up making you feel worse (check me out all hypocritical eh? lol) I will text you in a bit once I have done a bit of my essay due tomorrow.

*hugs anyone else who needs it* xx

*hugs Alexx*
honey please get to the docs if it's bad
make sure you bandage it up and keep it elevated
hope you are okay dearest

*squishes Helen and Emma*
hope you both are okay. no more alcohol, have some nice water and get to bed!!

*hugs Alyssa* hope you are okay honey. movies like that are hard to watch, i avoid them because they make me jealous too when i watch about SI or ODs and stuff and it makes me sooo triggery. be safe honey and it's just a movie, it wasnt real. even the documentary ones are so dramatized! hope you are well

Jeremy honey you need to sleep! get to bed with ye!

*hugs SmallBlackFlower and Kit* hope you guys are okay. come and check in at the Denial Tent when you can! i'll be there ;)

eeks so yeah my DBT therapy appt thingy was actually okay!!!! i was sooooo nervous and definitely had to totally dope myself up in order to have the courage to go and talk but i went and he is taking me on and i have made 4 more appts to see him again!!! *can hardly believe this is happening*
yea i am EXHAUSTED now though - i worked myself up to be so nervous and the drugs are wearing off now so i can hardly move haha (that was dumb in retrospect hmm should work on that)
*curls up in Denial Tent to rest for a bit*

*hugs everybody*

Please Alex, try get it sorted.

I've barely drank any alcohol.

I'm trying to write this email, need help tbh =\

It's to tell her about tuesday afternoon, about how I was feeling and what I did cus I can't hide from her time, I'd feel sooooo bad.

This is it so far.......

"
Why am I writing this, I don't think I'll even have the guts to send this, maybe because I'm scared of what you'll say and do to be honest. I guess I need a distraction from tonight, been awful but I am just going to forget about it tomorrow.

I acually went straight to A&E rather than going home first, don't worry, nothing broken. Not that they x-rayed which they should have done in my opinion but never mind.

Before I even tell you what even happened on tuesday, I know I have to see Julie and I will be soon enough "

*Checks arm*
Its stopped bleeding....
Its not deep enough for stitches...
*dammit ><*

I'll be ok....:/

*squishes Alex gently*

*holds arm out cautiously*
*squishes Helen back*

I feel broken :/
I dont want to be broken....

*hugs Alexx* if you are sure hun, but that is a good thing really, although I understand how you feel about being slightly disappointed if it is not what you wanted or expected. And you will be alright, I have faith in that if nothing else. I will pray for you if that is ok? xx

Helen- email looking good so far- just tell her the truth. About feeling low and unable to cope and how at one point it felt that suicide was the best and only option and that is why you ended up contemplating it on top of a bridge on Tuesday. Tell her why you wanted to email her and be honest. She is there, as your teacher and to support you *hugs*

*squishes Alex some more*

Thanks Emma, that really helps.

Love oyou guys xx

Thankyou.
You can pray for me if you want to
but you dont have to if its alot of trouble..:pinch:

It isn't a lot of trouble hun, rather something I would like to do but also would like to check since it concerns you before I do. *hugs*

Emma (lil princess) How are you?? I have been worried about you? Are you alright sweetie? *hugs* x

It doesnt concern me...
I like faith...

"
Why am I writing this, I don't think I'll even have the guts to send this, maybe because I'm scared of what you'll say and do to be honest. I guess I need a distraction from tonight, been awful but I am just going to forget about it tomorrow. I'll deffo leave the cake for you if I don't see you.

I acually went straight to A&E rather than going home first, don't worry, nothing broken. Not that they x-rayed which they should have done in my opinion but never mind. Got given painkillers which I took and meant to rest it.

Before I even tell you what even happened on tuesday, I know I have to see Julie and I will be soon enough. I'm going to be seriously honest, I just feel I can't keep it to myself and well I think you know I trust you even more (makes it sound like I never did!) but I think you get what I mean. As I said earlier, the past few days I haven't been in the right frame of mind. I have been feeling so low and not been able to cope that well. At one point it felt that suicide was the best and only option and that is why I ended up contemplating it on top of a bridge on Tuesday. Okay pretty serious stuff I know. But once again (having comtemplated it faaaaar too many times before) I didn't obviously do anything and have worked out why not to do it and espically as I know far too many people need me at the moment. I know the best thing for myself right now is to help myself before anyone, learnt that months ago to be honest.

I know there's not a lot you can say I guess, I just had to tell someone. I should actually go to sleep soon though, even though it's not going to be a good night's sleep (too much worry ha!) and you won't even read this til tomorrow morning, well this morning.

Yaaaay 20 weeks, halfway there, not long left now in a way aye???!!!

I am scared about writing this, sending it and what will happen after but it's for the best I guess."

Soooooooooo scared now =[

But haven't quite hit send yet haha. Is this okay do you think?

well done hun.
thats really good.
hope you send it
*hugs*
xxxx