Goodnight, Mark!
I'll talk to you tomorrow!

Cuddles all. Cheers for your reply mark. Didn't end up going in the end. Wasn't sure what to do as, or say. Ended up walking around, needed to clear my head. Not sure how I got there, but I need up some were we me and her would meet up. It was really helpful. It felt like she was there right beside me.. Curls up in corner

*hugs Mark* Just short form for quetiapine / seroquel... or my "antipsychotics" (I hate calling them that... makes me feel like a freak =/ ) I hope you sleep well <3

*hugs Hels* Sorry to hear about the job :( Keep focusing on uni though :)

*hugs Lindsay* What have you done in the past to help through the lows?

*hugs Felicia*

*hugs Jill*

RAAAAAGHHHH! Just walked in after being out for 2 hours and got a massive lecture on how I don't care about my family because I went out, ignoring the fact my sister was out all night (3pm-10pm) and I was out for 2h... Apparently thats different because she's 14 and I'm 19. So angry >.<

Sorry I've not been about all day, really... actually, I don't think I've posted yet today. Oops.

Hayley, welcome back, we've missed you!!! *cuddles*

Hels, sorry about the job but YEY about college!! :D *cuddles*

Mark, glad you can go back to taking Antabuse and sleep well too... *tucks you into your ward bed* Sorry we didn't get to talk today. <3

Sarah, sorry that you got yelled at, that's never fun. :( It doesn't make sense to me either. I hope that things get straightened out etc. somehow. :( *cuddles*

Lia, thanks, hon, for being so open/honest with us. You're right, we won't judge etc., and this IS a safe place to talk. <3 I'm so glad that you're finally starting to trust us. :) That makes me happy from the inside out, hehe. *cuddles*

*cuddles everyone else* Sorry not more individuals, been gone most of the day and since last night there have been like 5 pages for me to read... sooo... way too much for my poor brain to remember. Ahaha. >_<

It's Labor Day here in the US and so we had a cookout with one of Jarrod's friends, and I actually ate a LOT for me and we also watched a film ("Ocean's Twelve," anyone heard of it?). I actually didn't/don't feel full, which is VERY different for me... hopefully not in a bad way as usually I feel full so very easily. I hope my hungry/full sensors aren't being "messed with" as I know some meds do mess with them. If so... I am going to be pissed. :(

So tired. But I think I am getting to a point where I can handle more caffeine than I used to be able to tolerate... I used to come on here with a mugful of coffee (caffeinated) every morning, it was my way of relaxing before breakfast... and then I started Abilify and it made me more anxious (or so I think?) and now I'm off Abilify (shhh, don't tell anyone, was supposed to take it for four more weeks :-S but didn't want to buy the $150 prescription, even Jarrod doesn't know yet, much less my NP) and I'm sooo much less anxious, it's wonderful!!! :D

Anyway.

I am tired now though. Been a busy day... and my bestie's still supposed to come over for a bit, dunno when though. Blah. Sometime shortly I think.

*extra cuddles for everyone* I'll try to do more individuals later!!

*cuddles April* they scare me, just not financially able to move for another year (they botched my loan support and lied on it so I'm really down on money) though what scares me most is that my councillor is deeply disturbed by their behaviour, I didn't realise how bad they were until I saw a normal family, constant screaming, yelling and namecalling apparently isn't normal :(

Sometimes I think I'm complaining over nothing, but they'll start up yelling at me again and I begin to feel all hopeless and defeated all over again :(

*hugs Sarah* Sorry to hear you're being yelled at. It's never a good thing =/ I hope it works itself out soon <3

*hugs April* Not wanting to pay the 150$ is completely understandable... damn meds can be crazy expensive =/

*Hugs April and everyone else* I know right? Massive shocker. I'm pleased I'm learning to trust too.

No individuals, I need sleeppp. Hope you're all feelingg better soon though. Goodnight all.

xx

*hugs Taz* I hope so, its driving me crazy.

*hugs Lia* Nighty night *tucks into bed*

Edit: I'm also heading off now, had enough of my parents calling me defective. Night all *squishy hugs* xx

The one downside to most of the people on RYL being in the UK is that they tend to go to bed before I do. Funny thing about being 5 hours behind, heh. :P Sleep well, Sarah & Lia, pleasant dreams. *cuddles both & tucks into individual ward beds*

Taz, yeah, especially with my hubby's current job problems. :-S I hope they get resolved soon & he gets backpay, but I really didn't want to pay that much for a month's worth of meds. Ugh. :( Thing is, I don't think Jarrod would be very happy knowing that... How are you doing though? *cuddles*

And everyone else who's been lurking about, how are you all?? <3

Huggles all. Erm nevermind. I'm okay. =)

*huggles Jill* Hmm, somehow I don't believe that, hon. What's up??

Sometimes it's just too much ... now I have to go see a psychologist from Pain Clinic ... *sigh*

Erm just really stuiped thoughts running through my head. Feel really crapy short of breath. =(

*hugs Lia & Sarah* Hope you two sleep well!

*hugs April* Hmm... at least it would show he's really concerned and wants you to have all the benefits of the meds =/ And I agree haha, the ward moves fastest whenever I'm asleep :P It sucks trying to catch up.

*hugs Jill* What kind of stupid thoughts? If you feel like talking, that is. Sorry you feel short of breath :( Did you ever go see a doctor like we told you for the stroke-ish thing?

*hugs Kahlia* What's a Pain Clinic? Sorry if this is a really dumb question, but it confuses me why they would have a psychologist there :S Unless they think you're faking pain? I'll shut up now...

*throws welcome-back confetti for Hayley*

*hugs all other wardmates*

I'm doing alright. Watching season 1 of House (HUGH LAURIE ROCKS!!! :D) and keeping myself occupied. Have to go to a welcome-back nursing students meeting tomorrow for a few hours... not too pleased to go, because
A) lots of people there
B) lots of happy fake smiles and other junk I don't want to deal with. Thankfully it's only a few hours at most...

Im drunk. AGAIN.
Im crying. AGAIN.
Im lonely. AGAIN.
Someone stop me

*hugs Lex* I wish I could hug you in person.

Is it bedtime yet? I'm sleepy, and sick, and triggered. Asleep is the best place for me.

argh. why does every bloody holiday involve bbq's?! that is all. ><
*sigh*

*hugs alexx and goes off to message*

i have my first cbt session on thursday. so scared. keep thinking im not sick enough, i cant have an ed. im fine. they will see that.

*cries in a corner*