*Hugs Sarah*
*Hugs Lia*
*Hugs Jill*
*Hugs Kahlia*Good for you for being honest hun :)
*Hugs Ian*
*Hugs Solo*
*Hugs Heather*
*Hugs Felicia*
*Hugs Josh and nabs a cookie*Ty

~Hugs Mark~ how ya doin today?

I'm feeling okay thanks Solo, Still getting used to my new computer , the keyboard is more compact so I go for the return key and hit a number :P
How are you hun?*Hugs*

I'm so glad your doin ok! I'm exhausted! I only got about an hour of sleep.

I hate when you don't sleep well. Are you able to have a nap?

~Hugs Lindsay~I didn't think so cause I work at my kid's school, but it was cancelled due to icy roads, so maybe. How are you today?

*Hugs Solo* I hope you get to nap.

*Hugs Lindsay how are you?

Well I've gotten pretty anxious and triggered and I don't know why. I went out and got alcohol to numb it but I just don't know if I'll drink it , I need to be level headed tonight but at least I have the option , I haven't drank alcohol so far this week so 2 days , which , well isn't wonderful but it's a start . SO Sodding conflicted :(

It's 4pmish is anyone here?

I'm here Mark. It's 11:15 a.m. here.

*Hugs Solo* I want to cut and I haven't done so since a week ago today , Wow I didn't realise it was so long , it still hurts a little when I prod it:S But I'm SO VERY triggered and I've come to the whole drink OR cut but you must do one situation again , My mind must hate me :(

Pretty sure my mind hates me too. I really can't encourage either of those choices. Is that really all ya got? I think you can do better!

I'm not expecting you to encourge me Solo :P But being around is nice to have you to chat to:)

Chat away Mark :) I'll try to keep up.

Well I'm still urgy :(
I made a pasta bake along the lines that my Mum makes so I hope that turns out okay:)I used sauce from a jar but pepped it up with herbs and garlic and chilli :)
How are you Solo? Any less exausted?
Why did you choose the username "Solo"? I'm a curious Doikers.

Hey guys. Worried about my Dr's now. Had a bad day too :( *sigh*

*Hugs Sarah* I always worry about my Dr's . Whats happened today hun , sorry to be so nosey :S

*hugs everyone* life is too crazy... i dont have time for anything right now... im sorry i don't respond much in here anymore.

I'm sorry you're still urgy Mark. Your pasta bake sounds yummy! Good job keepin busy. I picked 'Solo' cause in this battle against SI & ED, I am.

Sarah, you may have already answered Mark while I was typin, but if not, what up hun?

*Hugs Laura* I hope you're okay hun. It's okay if it's too crazy to reply in here much hun , You have to look after yourself first and foremost :)

It's ok Laura. We all just do what we can.

hugs everbody.

*Hugs Jill* How are you?

Just felt awful mentally today, and knowing I have to go to the doctors and dentist and went to speak to someone in the area - mind, but no appointments until next week and connexions were completely useless. I'm just terrified but have nowhere to turn with it.

*Hugs Sarah* Who are Connexions?

hugs mark back, hmm not doing great today, got some good news, but i still feel very low. and im now freaking out. meh i cant win. how are you today?

I'm less urgy now thats Jill *Hugs* What was your good news ?

hugs back. glad your feeling a bit better. hmm the job i a went for, got a phone call this morning saying they would like to invite me for a job interview on the 3 feb. now i just need to pull the interview out of the bag. very scared and freaking out. i hate interviews havnt had to do one for 10 years.

*hugs everyone*

I really don't feel like I can cope with life any more. Is this pain all that life is about? I'm going to have to kill myself even though it's not the best plan of action for my brother's sake.

Connexions are supposed to give health and career advice to anyone under 20, but their only health advice is don't get pregnant. I went in to ask if we had a mind in the area she knew of and if someone could tell me what they offered. She googled it as she didn't know anything outside of giving out free condoms or sending me to the job centre. No help. ¬_¬

I just painted though, feeling a little more calm. Ish.

*Hugs Jill* Go you !

*Hugs Lindsay* You don't need to kill yourself , you just feel that way, It WILL get better hun .

thanks mark, now all i got to do is make sure this interview go well.
hugs lindsay.

You'll do great Jill, What job is it for ? *Hugs*

hmm sales assistant, working in a shop called the works. it sell books, pens rulers, dvds. its for 16hours a week.

*Hugs everyone*

*Hugs Nicole* How are you feeling?

*Hugs Mark*
I'm ok-ish. I dunno, I'm alright, but worried about my CPA tomorrow....
But also very excited about my first meet on saturday :D

You have a Meet , SO cool!

Whats a CPA Nicole? Community Pysch Assesment?

I know, I'm majorly excited :)
It's my care plan assesment. I really don't like them....especially as I know I haven't been doing too well and my mum is gonna be there, but both Julie and Shani have agreed not to tell her about my suicide plans, so I suppose thats something.

Oh I've had a couple of CPA's. Don't worry Nicole , Just tell them what you need to , it's all paperwork I swear.

lol. Mine aren't, they just talk about how i'm doing and whether i'm staying on with DBT and stuff. No paperwork involved. lol

*sits in the corner and plays with a keychain*

Just really unhappy right now *sigh*

*Hugs Matthew if Okay*Whats up mate?

Hugs are always okay :)

I dunno. Just really unhappy. It seems my family cares about everyone else but me. I mean I guess I shouldn't look at it that way, but it feels that way. I am realizing that I don't have many people to talk to about this stuff and the journal isn't helping much anymore... its a like a rebound back into a past i don't want to see or read about. TBH, I do feel a bit out of touch with reality and i would like to do something self-harm wise, but I am trying really hard to fight against that. Though I am beginning not to care very much about anything right now -- which scares me some. Ok enough rambling for now

Matt

We care Matthew . I'll listen , I'm sorry but I'm distracted with my oen **** tonight but I'll answer when I can

Hey, sorry i know i dont really say much when i come in here, sorry. Hows everyone doing?

*Hugs Kahlia*

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs Mark*

*Hugs Kitty*

*Hugs Matt*

*Hugs Nicole*

*Hugs Ian*

How are you mark? Thanks for the hug. I feel bad though that i dont really say much :-( in here.

I'm ......coping Ian. How are you doing?

I didn't mean my RYL family Doikers :) Of course they listen. I meant outside of here.

*gives hugs to all*

sorry I knew that Matthew I just came over crappy