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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

taz35 23-08-2010 11:51 PM

*hugs everyone who has posted since this morning*

*hugs anyone else who needs hugs*

Sorry... I wish I could manage individuals but I can't even focus on my typing without getting angry. Stupid people at work pissed me off, I want to OD, or cut... but I won't. F*ck the world. I know I shouldn't...

MammaMia 24-08-2010 12:03 AM

*hugs Taz* Please keep safe hun xx

risenfromperdition 24-08-2010 02:29 AM



:) love you guyssss. i feel horrid for not doing individuals anymore, but since am only allowed on for a stupidly small amount of time... yeh.

MammaMia 24-08-2010 02:30 AM

That's so cute <3

anarchistl0ve 24-08-2010 04:33 AM

Im not okay, im not okay. Would anyone miss me if I were to go.. Probably not. I am just a freaking loser and waste of air...

time to change 24-08-2010 06:21 AM

just to let you all know, i am here, just not really up to doing anything atm. sorry everyone is having such a rough time one way or another, i do constantly read the posts to stay up to date.

xx

FlyingNy 24-08-2010 07:54 AM

We'd miss you Becca. You're not a waste of air. *Offers hugs*

Up at this bright and early hour to go and get the envelope of doom.

x

Kahlia1981 24-08-2010 09:30 AM

*huggles everybody*

*sits in corner and cries*
So.damn.over.everthing ....

Doikers 24-08-2010 10:31 AM

HEE! Heather You're photo made me smile :)

Good luck Lia and Nicole with your results *HUGS you both*

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs April*

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Kahlia*

*Hugs Steph*

*Hugs Becca*

*Hugs Taz*

MammaMia 24-08-2010 11:57 AM

*hugs everybody*

Doikers 24-08-2010 12:07 PM

*Squishes Helen*

MammaMia 24-08-2010 12:46 PM

Thanks Mark *cuddles*

I'm getting worried about Nicole, after her last post in here last night, but I know she gets her results today...

Doikers 24-08-2010 12:52 PM

Well maybe she got her results and when all her friends were together at the school at the same time they decided to go out to celebrate ? Maybe thats it.

MammaMia 24-08-2010 01:02 PM

I was thinking along the lines of that. :) Just praying she didn't come to any harm last night..

Doikers 24-08-2010 01:05 PM

Me too . hmmm

MammaMia 24-08-2010 01:06 PM

Hmm indeed :(

Scarletdreamer 24-08-2010 02:18 PM

Ughhh. :(

Feel like proper **** right now.

Sorry to be so freaking selfish.

Hels, Mark, how are you two doing?? and everyone else? Too many posts for my muddled brain to reply to at the moment... :(

MammaMia 24-08-2010 02:27 PM

You're not selfish April *cuddles*

I'm bit upset, had a nightmare, but trying to forget about it. Missing my bestie but it's bearable & just had a chat with her on the phone <3 But other than that, I'm okayish

Scarletdreamer 24-08-2010 02:34 PM

Yey for being okayish. That's awesome, Hels. :) *cuddles* And I'm sorry that you had a nightmare... they royally suck, don't they? :( but maybe you'll be able to get it out of your mind somehow... *extra cuddles because of nightmare*

Yes, I am selfish. And stupid. And... just ate "too much." Okay. So maybe not "too much" but it feels like a LOT to my stomach... which I think is rapidly shrinking? I don't know. :(

I have to see a nutritionist again. Or else I would have had to go IP. Why is it that professionals seem to love wanting to toss me into hospitals?? :'( I can't eat a lot. I can't. I want to purge if I do. I hate my life. Hate it. Why does it always turn on me?

:crying:

katnovia 24-08-2010 02:52 PM

*hugs april* i'm sorry things are tough right now lovely, i wish i could say better but i cant focus.

doing okay, things are a nightmare at the moment, new meds, new therapist, new pysch, new CPN, police cases, getting lost, memory going, headaches...*sighs*.

EDIT: has read back a pages....
helen *huggles* sorry you had a nightmare sweet.
mark *hugs* how are you?

urg, my brain just wont retain anything for longer than 2 seconds

MammaMia 24-08-2010 03:02 PM

April *cuddles tight* Glad you had some food, sorry it feels like too much. They only want to help you, hence them suggesting hospital related help. Nightmares do royally suck.

Kat *cuddles tight*

Doikers 24-08-2010 03:50 PM

*Hugs Kat, Helen , April*

I'm still here , Just got back from ear accupunctre which was quiet this week , I far prefer it when it's quiet , it promotes a far more relaxing atmosphere . I am still triggered but one part of me really doesn't want to harm and the other side is saying "go on , do it , you know you need it" . I didn't harm last night almost entirely down to April looking out for me and this thread and Felicia chatted to me a bit too .

EDIT: Tomorrow I have to meet with the befriending woman for people with serious mental health issues on my own and I've only met her once and my nurse was there to help me. Am SO anxious.

Then I meet my Housing SW whom I haven't met in 3-4 weeks.....okayish

Then I have to go and hand inmy application form and CRB form to the cyber cafe to become a volunteer as so many people are pushing me that way DR, SW , Nurse *Sigh* I suppose it would get me out and meeting people , thats scares me but I've got to do the form handing over bit first *Mega Anxious*

Then I have to go to my Granny's 80th birthday and "BE HAPPY" in front on the family for an evening and a morning *Sigh*

Thats it for tomorrow heh.

Doikers 24-08-2010 04:28 PM

April you are FAR from being selfish or stupid *Hugs*

*Hugs Kat* Your scedule sounds very hectic I hope you cope okay :)

*Hugs Helen* Sorry you had a nightmare Helen .

MammaMia 24-08-2010 05:53 PM

Erm think you'll find other people also helped you but you continue to ignore their posts of support towards you. Thanks for the hugs though.

SoMuchMore 24-08-2010 06:01 PM

*hugs mark* im glad you didn't harm. good luck with everything that you are super anxious about. It'll be alright. Hope that you have a pleasant time at your granny's 80th... I know putting on a mask is hard but, you never know, it could still be a good time, i mean sometimes i am able to mask myself into having a good time.

*hugs april* you are not selfish or stupid. im glad you ate, and helen is right, people are just trying to look out for you with all the hospital talk... i know its scary but i'm sure it really is all with the best intentions.

*hugs helen* im sorry that you had nightmares hun. I had some strange dreams myself last night.. not exactly nightmares but i'm starting to think almost any type of dream can mess with your head.

*hugs kat* its good to see you around and posting. Sorry everything is changing/new right now. Hope that it gets better once you're able to adjust more.

*hugs becca, steph, kahlia, heather, taz, and everyone else*

Sorry ran out of time for more individuals but I will do more later... have to get to class.

Feeling all triggered for no real reason... stupid... so i guess i'm glad i have class to go to where i can't really SI.

Doikers 24-08-2010 06:18 PM

Helen , I didn't mean to ignore you , Just my mind is all preoccupied with tomorrow and urges . Please forgive me ?:S

PoisonedApple 24-08-2010 06:23 PM

*hugs everyone*
Kat - hope you can focus a bit better later on but don't worry about it for now. :)
Mark - Glad you didn't harm. Good luck with all of your appointments and activities. Might even get to enjoy some of it :)
Laura- Try to have a good time at class
How is everyone?

D agreed I should apply for the job in CA. I finished most of my resume on their website but I haven't taken a typing test in about 2.5 years... need to take another and enter my score. I know I type faster than I used to and I used to type at 39 WPM but taking a new test makes me so anxious I screw it up all over the place and last one I tried online I got 33WPM *face/palm* Might try to go down to the temp agency I took the last one at... Margo lets me sit there and retry till I'm satisfied (as long as its business hours). The job center has typing tests too. We'll see.

MammaMia 24-08-2010 06:41 PM

Laura, I agree, any kind of dream can mess with your head. Sorry you had strange dreams *cuddles*
Mark, but you keep doing it :/ Just makes me feel pretty worthless :S

Doikers 24-08-2010 06:59 PM

*Hugs Helen if Okay* I SO didn't intend to make you feel worthless , I like you and okay, I messed up but I am truely sorry , Give me another chance , I'd HATE to have to lose you as a friend :S

Scarletdreamer 24-08-2010 07:19 PM

*cuddles everyone*

Hels, I'm pretty sure that Mark didn't do it on purpose, he's not that kind of guy. But I can see both sides, how you'd feel worthless too, even though - as I've told you before - you are most definitely NOT worthless. *gentle hugs* We're all going through rough bits now and with a muddled head when you're feeling ill (mentally or physically) it's hard to keep track of all of the posts here and all of the people supporting each other. I hope that made sense!!

*hides in the warren & cries softly*

MammaMia 24-08-2010 07:27 PM

Sorry :'(

Doikers 24-08-2010 07:31 PM

*Hugs April*

*Hugs Helen*

Scarletdreamer 24-08-2010 07:45 PM

No sorries, Hels, sweetie. It wasn't your fault. And Mark, no feeling bad on your part either. We all miss posts/support. I hope my post didn't sound accusatory, Hels, really didn't mean for it to come across like that. :( *group hug?*

How're you both doing, though? besides the nervousness on your part, Mark, about tomorrow (I would be nervous too - you're gonna be the busy bee this time ^_^).

Updated my r/v. It's really long though. :(

Brain's not working right. Hmm, I wonder why? >_< Anorexic mindset fully in place at the moment. I'm thoroughly crap at the moment. :( Jarrod's gonna be upset with me when he gets home. And I'm gonna feel even more like crap then.

Took a nap earlier but it wasn't for very long. And I just can't get into WoW right now, or books... writing is my only escape. It's as if I have to write my way out of the hole I've fallen into. Yes, fallen. I didn't choose to (re)lapse... even though I may be "choosing" to stay here... I really don't know why anyone would do that though.

I really don't want to have to go IP. I really really don't. And res, at the place I'll be going to see my nutritionist, is helluva expensive, and we can't afford it... wonder if they could/would manage to get me in somehow anyway?? I honestly don't know. And I feel like a ****ing failure to be back in this place.

:crying:

Doikers 24-08-2010 08:10 PM

Speaking as someone who only has an outside knowledge of ED's I'd say that you aren't a failure April , you can't help all these feelings that have come back it's not something you control , like you said, you didn't choose to re/lapse so please stop beating yourself up about it . <3 you Little Sister

MammaMia 24-08-2010 08:19 PM

*group hug*

Please try fight the anorexic mindset April *cuddles tight*

Doikers 24-08-2010 08:38 PM

*Group Hug*

Scarletdreamer 24-08-2010 08:44 PM

I'll... I don't know. I don't even "feel" like fighting it, if that is a feeling at all. Or if I can feel right now, I don't even know if I can. :( I don't want to try. I want to be tiny. But logically I know that that won't happen this way, because my body's too ****ed up to do that for me. Damn it, body, I hate you... :crying:

I'm so scared about seeing the nutritionist. :'( It's positively cruel to make me wait that long... or at least, so it feels. Hah.

*hides in a corner and curls up*

FlyingNy 24-08-2010 08:48 PM

Hey guys.

Got results. They were OK. I got three A*'s in English Literature, English Language and sociology. The rest were alright, mainly A/B with a couple of C's and one D. That was RE, but I knew that would be a fail since I wrote about the wrong thing in the exam. Lol.

Sorry I'm not up to individuals. I just...no, I don't even have an excuse. I just feel...I don't know that either. Heavy, tired. Ya know.

xx

Scarletdreamer 24-08-2010 08:50 PM

Congrats, Lia, on the good scores. ^_^ (At least, they sound good to me, but I totally have no clue with your school system/grading stuff... lol.) *hugs*

Oh and I also completely forgot to join in the group hug earlier so *group hug* and *extra cuddles all around* :)

Scarletdreamer 24-08-2010 08:51 PM

Hope Nicole is okay... I know you guys were worried about her earlier... she hasn't been on, has she? Nicooollleeeeeee, where are youuuu?

:-/

Sorry. Brain's in a funky place at the moment. :(

MammaMia 24-08-2010 08:56 PM

April, I'm really worried about Nicole still =[

Lia, those are awesome, congratulations :D

Doikers 24-08-2010 09:18 PM

*Hugs Lia* Well done !! , it sounds to me like you did really well in your exams 3 A*'s and a bunch of A,B,C's is GOOD :)

PoisonedApple 24-08-2010 09:38 PM

Grats Lia! those scores are awesome. :)

FlyingNy 24-08-2010 09:40 PM

Thanks guys :)

They were OK, I did better in my mocks, but still. I can live with those. I'm pleased about English at any rate.

Feeling a little better now. Hope everyone else is.

Love you guys.
xx

The One Who 24-08-2010 10:02 PM

*peeks in* I'm hoping to spend a bit more time around these parts, thought here would be a good place to start.

I hope everyone is doing okay *leaves hugs for everyone who would like them*

MammaMia 24-08-2010 10:15 PM

*cuddles everyone*

Welcome Claire, good to see you round here :]

shadowedsoul 24-08-2010 10:26 PM

Hugs everbody. My heads a bit messed up right now, stuiped thoughts and other things. Really want to do something, and just knowing I can't is really annoying. Just wish it was that easy, that I could just do it then problem solved. But it's not. Curls up and crys softly

Scarletdreamer 24-08-2010 10:59 PM

*cuddles Jill & everyone else* :)

Ughh... :(

*hides in a hole*

Oh, and *welcomes Claire & offers hugs* :) I'm April.

shadowedsoul 24-08-2010 11:22 PM

Thanks April. Really want to do somthing stuiped. Only thing stopping me is my younger brother, it would kill him if it ended up not working. Man that's messed up=( curls up into ball

taz35 24-08-2010 11:26 PM

*hugs everyone*

I'm spreading magic feel-better dust all throughout the ward :) Everybody gets some.

And on that note, I'm not feeling any better, but trying to fight through it. Have counseling for an hour and then my psychiatric evaluation afterwards =/ Kind of freaking out about it, debating about whether to tell them I finally worked out a plan last night...

*tackles Jill and April* I spy you both!


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