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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

one_step_closer 18-12-2009 04:30 PM

Hi Jocelyn, I know what you mean. Come in and sit down.

Scarletdreamer 18-12-2009 04:51 PM

Sure, come on in. :) *hugs Jocelyn*

I need a break from reality too... sick of struggling. :(

*needs a hug*

Absynnthe 18-12-2009 04:52 PM

*offers everyone ridiculously large duvet to snuggle under*

I'm a musician as well. :) What do you do?

Scarletdreamer 18-12-2009 04:58 PM

I play violin (since I was 9), piano (since I was 6), and viola (since I was 15). I'm planning on buying a cello once we have enough money and teaching myself, as I LOVE how cello sounds. Then, eventually, a bass, so I can learn the entire string family. :)

I miss my piano though. It's at my parents' house - this apartment is way too small for it. :( But someday I will have it transported to where we live - somehow - it's ancient, over a century old and very beautiful (carved wood, etc.). And we got it for free way back when I was 6!! :D

Anyway. I remember being IP for ECT this last March and playing piano for some friends. That was fun and lightened the mood of the place a bit. :)


Absynnthe 18-12-2009 05:01 PM

Coolness. :) I sing, and I'm teaching myself guitar, bass and piano. :D you're too talented. :P

*offers hug*

Scarletdreamer 18-12-2009 05:03 PM

*hugs back*

Bass as in string bass, or bass guitar? Sorry, really don't know much about guitar. Hubby wanted to learn it but hasn't really put forth the effort. Anyway, he's tone deaf... haha. :P

Thanks for the compliment. I really don't think I'm talented, or intelligent, or anything good. :(

*hides under duvet*

Absynnthe 18-12-2009 05:16 PM

Bass guitar. The guitar for lazy people XD Although I did try and learn cello for a bit... Epic fail >.<

And you are talented and intelligent. It's just your mind telling you silly things.... did that make sense? I dunno, did in my mind.

*gives pillow*

Scarletdreamer 18-12-2009 05:40 PM

Yeh, it made sense. Thanks for being so kind. :) I'd like to hear you sing sometime, bet you have a good voice. I've been told that I do, been a worship leader at an old church, but that was only because there wasn't anyone else to do the job. Lol. But I really don't know if I can sing well or not. :-/

*takes pillow gratefully... and whacks you over the head with it* :D

Absynnthe 18-12-2009 05:45 PM

*falls over with shock* XD Meanie! *tackle, pins down*

Well, my band are gonna start recording soon, and I do randomly have a tendancy post things on Youtube o.O SO next time I post something worth watching, I'll send it to ya. :P The onky vid of me singing right now was when I was hyper and bored and sounded crap. xP

Scarletdreamer 18-12-2009 05:48 PM

Oh neat, you're in a band. :) I'd love to see a clip, so feel free to PM me the link the next time you have one up. :)

Yep, I'm a meanie alright... :D

*clobbers you with a slipper* :P

Absynnthe 18-12-2009 06:01 PM

I will :) We haven't really got a name yet, Some of us want Assaut On The Dawn, SOme want Lava Lake and I want Llama lake XD

*squeaks and rolls off, throws teddy at*

Scarletdreamer 18-12-2009 06:19 PM

Ooh a teddy!!

I like Assault on the Dawn... but I gotta admit, Llama Lake has a ring to it!! :P

Urgh don't feel good. My dad just invited me to have lunch with him and my sister... don't wanna go but I know I need lunch... but I know that I'm going to want to purge after I eat. Frick it all. :(

Absynnthe 18-12-2009 06:24 PM

:( *jumps on* Why don't you just eat a small amount for now? Tell your dad you're not feeling great, and eat enough to keep you going for a bit. You're not fat, and you won't get fat.

*LickFace* :) You'll be fine.

SoMuchMore 18-12-2009 07:29 PM

*runs in throwing pillows and confetti and hands out holiday cookies*

I'm finally done with final exams! Time to celebrate.. Thought I would include the ward in my party lol.

Hope everyone is alright!
*hugs everyone in sight* (oops i rhymed :-P)

Absynnthe 18-12-2009 07:32 PM

*squeals and huggles back*

How did they go? Do you think you did good? WHat were they on?

*chomps down on cookie* :D

SoMuchMore 18-12-2009 07:58 PM

They weren't as awful as I thought they would be... but I absolutely hate studying so this week has been quite long until now lol.
They were over geology (ew), research methods in psychology, and legal issues in mass communication.
Not the most fun of all semesters.. hopefully, my classes will be more fun in spring semester.

Absynnthe 18-12-2009 08:35 PM

Good times. :D

Studying = Boo. ;[

But End of Exams = Whoop!

*throws spare confetti and cookie crumbs over*

Scarletdreamer 18-12-2009 09:54 PM

Yey for end of exams. I finished my last one yesterday morning. :) I took research methods (for psych) in fall 2007 I think. It wasn't my favorite class either... and as a counseling track major, I had to take research methods II in spring 2008. And do a huge group presentation that we worked on all semester!! Eugh. Bad memories, heh.

DV, thanks for the support. I am fat, or at least, I feel fat, and I haven't seen my nutritionist in quite awhile. I see him next Wednesday and I'm nervous. :( I ate a small bit, my only real meal of the day (silly me) and I am working on drinking some Vitamin Water ♥ but today's really been a crappy day as far as drinking enough and eating enough. I hope all of break isn't like this. :(

*celebrates with Laura* :D

*hugs everyone*

Absynnthe 18-12-2009 11:34 PM

Call me Franz :P

And how about seeing a personal trainer instead of a nutritionist? That way you can have a part nutritionalist part exercise helper. It helps me alot with how I feel about myself. :) Or you can have both. :O

Vitamin water is nice. :) Better than what I'm being forced down me. >.> Stupid vitamin pills....

Scarletdreamer 19-12-2009 12:14 AM

Yey Franz!! lol. Nice to have something besides initials to call you. :P

I actually have a personal trainer, but he lives 1200 miles away. It's going to work out though!! because he and I are both determined that I am going to lose XXlbs in 6 months. I just need to get the full regimen down so I can do it and get losing weight. I've actually been wondering if I should just terminate my care at the nutritionist's that I see and go with my trainer. Dunno though... I don't think that my treatment team would really agree. Haha.

I recently switched from being a lacto-ovo vegetarian to eating fish as well, so that additional protein without carbs really should help bump up my metabolism - which is pretty crappily low. Or was, anyway. My N kept telling me to eat more and exercise less... like that makes a lot of sense. People online are telling me to follow my N's plans, not my PT's... but my N's stuff hasn't worked very well in years and my PT might have a little more knowledge when it comes to losing weight. Sooo... I'm not sure what to do. *waffles*

Eugh vitamin pills. I prefer getting my vitamins through things like Propel and Vitamin Water. Just bought a flat of 12 Propels the other day. I asked for a flat of VW for Christmas... haha... since it might come from a store that I can't go to as I don't have a member's card (elitist... lol). I don't know, though.

I just ate supper and am still "hungry" - stupid body. It's so fricking messed up!! :( I also want to purge and can see myself doing it... really really want to... but that's nothing new. It's an ongoing struggle and I really need to just QUIT IT. :(

Absynnthe 19-12-2009 12:31 AM

*latches onto and stops from purging by sitting on*

My mum has gotten a new type of vitamin pills, which are kinda like sweets. They're yummy, but morish. o.O

Your trainer lives.... o.O Whoa. Let's a loooong way away.

ooOo! Do you keep a diary of what you're eating and when you're doing exercise? Try it, it's a really good way of keeping things under your control. And if you show your nutritionalist ( God I hate typing that word o.O) they can make ajustments! :D

*dances and throws confetti*

Scarletdreamer 19-12-2009 12:38 AM

Thanks for stopping me from purging. ;) In actuality, my husband's home so there's no way I'd get away with it. He's like the purge police... lol. And SI police. But I don't mind. I need that kind of accountability.

Yeh, my trainer lives that far away. Haha. We met over WoW - my hubby has known him for 3 years and I've talked with him since March, much moreso recently. We exchanged phone numbers and my husband and I are going down to visit him & his family the first few weeks in January. :) I'm excited and so is he (and so is my husband, although he doesn't admit it). It's going to be fun and I'm going to get my butt worked off. Haha.

I measured myself today - as my PT told me to do - and it was disheartening. :( I am so big. Ankles, calves, thighs, hips, waist, chest, biceps... I am awful. So gigantic!! That probably wasn't the wisest thing to do to keep me from purging... lol. Sometimes I can be the stupidest person ever. :-/

But I am going to keep a journal of that sort of thing. I have one that I had used for a food diary, and I'm turning it into an exercise/measurement/weight loss/food one. Heh.

Gahhh I hate eating disorders!!!!!

Absynnthe 19-12-2009 12:46 AM

I know how you feel hon. I really do. :D But the fact that you've an amazing husband who is the epic of SI/ED... Well, you're lucky, :P

The journal thing is a really good idea. Try not to focus on sizes, but on keeping your eating and exercise stable. You'll feel better about yourself, and feel more in control without having to purge. :)

Scarletdreamer 19-12-2009 02:27 PM

Thanks, Franz. :) I will try to do better... it's just SO FRICKING HARD!!! :( I just ate breakfast and it was a biggish one (we went out for breakfast)... urgh. Healthy, for the most part, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to purge. Grrrrowl!!!

I see my NP today. I'm afraid that I made her angry the last time I texted her, about getting FMLA paperwork for my husband. So... I'm worried about today's appt. But afterwards we're going to my parents' house for lunch - my sister is home for the hols - and then we're going to get our tree after lunch, and then go out to dinner to celebrate my sister's birthday (today) and my husband's (1 January). Woohoo. More food. >_< Just what I need!!!! :(

Oh well. The tree thing will be fun, I think. I hope. :-/

*hugs everyone*

one_step_closer 19-12-2009 02:36 PM

I don't think I can stay alive for much longer.

Absynnthe 19-12-2009 06:15 PM

Why why? :(

And April (Bwahaha, profile ninja...) Don't feel bad about wanting to purge. D; My parents fed me a fry up today, and I ate half of it before deciding that it was really too much... >.< Then spent the rest of the day trying not to be sick. They're like, "You seem spaced out and distracted, what's up?" Uh, I'm a whale. Whaddya think's up?

BoundNoMore 19-12-2009 08:08 PM

*looks around nervously*

Umm... hi?

I haven't been here in a while and I'm not sure if anyone even remembers me.

Absynnthe 19-12-2009 08:19 PM

*sidles up to BoundNoMore*

*offers teddybear*

I are slightly new to this thread, so hihi! :)

Scarletdreamer 19-12-2009 08:40 PM

One step closer, what's up, love? *big hugs*

Haha Franz... my name is right under my screenname... at least, I think it is!! It should be... :P But yes yes, you can call me April. :) Nice to know people's first names. It makes the forums more personable.

What's a fry up? And yeh, had lunch over at my parents' and didn't even manage to eat a whole quesadilla before feeling like I had to, well, you know. :( So I held my husband's hand and all. I had to go to the bathroom after eating so I had him stand outside of the door. Silly me. :( And I'm sure that you're not a whale. *hugses*

Hi Amanda *hugs* and welcome to the thread!! I'm relatively new to it as well... but that's fine. How are you doing today?

Appt with my NP went okay... although she said that she is concerned about the urges to purge. I can understand that as they have pretty much blindsided me (you'd think that they'd be gone somewhat now that ALL my stress is gone?)... I see my N on Wednesday and I'm effing SCARED. :( She (NP) thinks that seeing a nutritionist ("N") is vital to my recovery. I happen to disagree... I mean, I could get one of those scales that show % of body fat and lean muscle, and take care of myself. (Yeah, right... well, I could with the help of my trainer!!)

Anyway. We're going out to eat in a few hours... oh joy. MORE FOOD. And today I got the urge to binge... for one of the first times. I hate myself so much... :(

Absynnthe 19-12-2009 09:09 PM

Nuuuh, don't hate yourself April. Even if you don't feel beautiful on the outside, from what i gather you're very beautiful on the inside. :) You have a gorgeous personality. :)

I did the bad thing. :( I'm babysitting and they left me pizza, which I ate, then.. >.< Yuck yuck.

Scarletdreamer 19-12-2009 11:24 PM

There's a pic of me in one of the picture threads, on page 10 I think... just posted it last night. Hrm but I really do think I'm ugly, outside AND inside. :( And I don't think that I have a good personality either. But that's just me being biased. Maybe.

Rofl, just noticed your sig. Thanks for putting me in it... *blushes* Never been in anyone's sig before. I feel special. :)

I don't think that there is any point in me seeing my N anymore. I'm not ready to recover, plain and simple. (LOSER whispers the voice in my head) I can't stick to his meal plans, I can't lose the weight I've gained, I can't exercise enough... I just CAN'T. And my husband thinks that I just need to apply myself more to it... he doesn't get EDs. And I don't think that anyone who's never had an ED will ever really understand them.


Hey Franz, how old are you? Just curious. :) If you don't want to say, that's okay. It doesn't really matter anywho.

Awww *hugs* that's rough about the pizza. Don't know what else to say but I'm sending you hugs!!! How old is/are the kid(s) you're babysitting?


whispering girl 20-12-2009 12:26 AM

my psychologist is making me see a psychiatrist. she keeps saying i should and gave me numbers to call. was procrastinating and she just pulled out her phone this week and called one and passed it to me. i have to go this week now. i'm so afraid to go. they put the appointment about an hour before my therapy this week. :(

Absynnthe 20-12-2009 07:21 AM

18. >.< So I am legally allowed to be on the Vets bit, as it's for 18+.. D; Oh dear, now people are going to be like, "Wtf are you on? You're a child!" Though apparently I've been told I'm quite mature for my age emotionally, even if I act like a 5 year old on a sherbet trip...

And the girl is 10, the boy is 4, 5 on Dec 25th :) They're sweet, even if the boy woke up at 3:00 this morning to complain that he had a tummy ache and to give him medicine... >.>

Mind you, 60 for me. :D So i'm good!

And Cheryl, if you don't feel up to going, give them a call and re arrange it for another day maybe? I don't think that having them in the same day will be particuarly good for you... Good luck hun, keep us updated. xx

Scarletdreamer 20-12-2009 11:16 AM

Cheryl, I actually think it's good that you have your psych appt before therapy, because then in therapy you can process how you feel about it, how it went, etc. I don't know though - therapy might be too tough for you to have them on the same day. However, I know that it helped me to be able to talk with my T about how things went with my first appts with different psychs. So it depends, I guess. Just an idea. :) *hugs*

Franz *hugs* aww 18... :P I'm 21. So still a young'un here, but that's fine with me. I don't really look at people's ages as something that really matters, though. I mean, they can matter, but it's more maturity that I look for. My old neighbor's daughter is 16 now and I talked to her as I would an equal when she was 14, much less 16. So... well, I hope I'm making sense!! :P

Aww, the kids sound sweet... although pooey, waking up at 3am for a tummyache? Poor him and poor you. Heh. And that's a fair bit of money, right? Sorry, dunno dollar values as compared to pounds, but it sounds like it especially from your smile. :P

Hmmm... what else is going on this morning... not a whole lot, heh. It's early and I just want to sleeeeeeeeep. We'll probably be going to church then to my parents' place afterwards for lunch and then maybe some target shooting. :D And decorating the tree that we put up yesterday - real one, a Concolor pine I think, smells like tangerines. (I'm serious!!) I'm worried about the food but I think I'll be able to handle it as long as I don't eat that much. :-/

*hugs Franz and everyone else* :)

[Fog] 20-12-2009 12:05 PM

Hugs to all xx

Scarletdreamer 20-12-2009 12:35 PM

Thanks for the hugs, Banana... *big hugs back* How're you doing today??

one_step_closer 20-12-2009 07:03 PM

I've been out of hospital for about 3 weeks but I still can't stop thinking about how much I want to go back. It really hurts.

MammaMia 20-12-2009 07:30 PM

*curls up and rocks*

Sorry I'm not really posting much..

Scarletdreamer 20-12-2009 09:40 PM

One step closer (sorry, don't know your first name :-/), I understand that feeling... for me, at least, hos is a safe place where I don't have to worry about keeping it all together. I can cry, scream, or be silent, and not have anyone on my case. My meds are given to me at the proper times (mostly, anyway, heh), I get meals that I don't have to worry about prepping, etc. I have met some pretty awesome people in there TBH. :) Is that how it feels for you, or different? *big hugs*

*hugs Kiera* I understand that feeling, at least, although I don't know what's going on in your life/head at the mo. Am struggling a lot myself... it sucks especially because I don't know to whom I can turn for support. That's why I reactivated my account here and came back to post for support... figured this was one of the better sites for it. :) Do you want to talk about what's up? If you want to, you can PM me... *more hugs*

MammaMia, how are you doing? *hugs* It's okay not to post much... this is how I get my socialization so I'm gonna be posting a bit, but don't worry about not posting a lot. :)

I'm having a pretty sh*tty day... still really struggling with the urges to purge and my husband is frustrated with himself for not being able to make me feel better. Heh. So I don't really know what to do... I can understand how he feels that way but he really can't make me feel better... I don't know who can or when it'll happen but I've got the gnawing feeling that it's gonna have to be from inside of me. :(

*hugs everyone*

SoMuchMore 21-12-2009 04:28 AM

*hugs everyone* sorry no individual posts, I have read all of them, but my head isnt really up to so many replies. I'm thinking of all of you.

I'm so tired of going back and forth in my head between recovery and relapse. Thoughts are bad. I'm back at my parents house for christmas (winter break from school), which means i have to hide a bit. I also have to tell them that my boyfriend joined the air force... i'm so not looking forward to telling them b/c they will probably say something like "this is proff he is moving on with his life without you"... but its not true at all. My boyfriend and I talk about things all of the time... my family just doesn't believe me..

youngatheart 21-12-2009 12:05 PM

fallinstar ( laura?) sorry things arent so good for you right now. As long as you and your boyfriend know you are ok, thats all that matters.

Scarletdreamer 21-12-2009 12:32 PM

*cuddles for Laura* I'm sorry that things are rubbish in your head right now, love. Is there anyone you can talk with about it other than us? (not saying we aren't any good, but someone IRL can be much better!!) And I agree with youngatheart ^^, as long as you and your boyfriend know you're okay, that's what matters. *hugs* What's going on in your head? care to chat about it? 'cause maybe that'll help.

Listening to Mannheim Steamroller right now... wondering how they got their name, hehe. :) Trying to figure out what to do today... agoraphobia is kicking in and I don't want to leave the apartment. I know I ought to, but I really don't want to. It's so difficult to do so!! and I have plenty to do here. I can clean, I can read, I can play WoW, I can post here, I can email people, I can call friends... but I can also purge and cut, which is why I need to get out of the house at least a few times a week, if not every day. BOO HISS.

*hugs everyone*

[Fog] 21-12-2009 09:28 PM

Hey guys, hope you all had a good if not bearable day today. Sorry no individual replies but I read all of your posts and I'm sending you all some loves.

My boyfriend came over today which was really great. We did some Christmas shopping (I needed him there as I got arrested last week thanks to being a klepto) and just spent time together. This evening I'm struggling with not binging because my family are around and watching me like a hawk so I can't purge. So f*cking hungry but I must not eat must not eat...

I agree with what's been said about hospital. I was officially discharged today after a 3 week bit of "respite". I hate it but I love it there too. Having everything taken care of is helpful and well I'm still alive. It's good to be able to admit that I am not coping and to be able to go somewhere where I don't have to pretend to cope, where I can just do and feel what I need to. I met a few wonderful people there, caught up with a few others, and avoided a lot of others who drove me mental excuse the phrase!

Blah. x

[Awakening] 21-12-2009 10:37 PM

*walks in with a huge blanket, pizza and coke to share*

*hugs* everyone, sorry not up to individual replies

My girlfriend wasn't too good today and i spent 2 hours driving home because of the snow! I want to stay with her in hosp but because i can't i'll have to stay here.

Not feeling great today. Wanted to cry but i just kept laughing instead.

I'd like to share some pizza and coke with u guys and cuddle up please???

Anyone got a pizza topping preference? x x x x

Scarletdreamer 21-12-2009 11:58 PM

Veggie lover's all the way!!! :D Hehe... that is, if no one minds. I'm a lacto-ovo-fishy vegetarian (lol) so I don't eat red meat if I can help it. As the vegetarianism was/is an eating disordered thing, though, I'm doing my best to get rid of it. :(

Kiera, how old are you? If you're over 18 your parents don't need to know. Everything can be kept confidential as 18 is the magical age for confidentiality. And since you're posting in the Veteran's Corner, I'm guessing you're 18+. So... you don't really need to be worried about that, I don't think. *hugs* Although it is scary getting help on your own... but relieving maybe that your parents don't need to know? Sorry if that was a waffle, my brain's a bit muzzy at the mo.

Scarlett, sorry to hear about your girlfriend. :( Hopefully she'll be doing better tomorrow. And yeh, I've been hearing about the snow and how it really shuts London area down when you get a bit!! Funny rather. We just avoided a storm that dumped 9+ inches only 50 miles south of where we live. Although I wouldn't've minded... but driving in snow isn't much fun at all. *cuddles gently*

Banana, glad that you got to go shopping with your boyfriend. It must be difficult being klepto, never actually met anyone who was. My great-grandmother was but I never really knew her, as she died when I was 3 or 4 or something like that. :-/ How are you feeling now? any better than earlier? And yeh I totally get that family looking after you like a hawk... I told my parents today about my bulimic urges and when I went to the bathroom my mum was like, "ARE YOU OKAY?!?!?!?" ... so that kinda sucked. I wasn't going to purge, just had to, well, you know, use the bathroom!! lol.

I kinda wish that I could go back into ED treatment. I think I would really benefit from it now versus when I had it. But nope, insurance doesn't cover the place I went and it is WAYYY too expensive otherwise. And I'm not seriously ill enough to get into any of the free programs. Boo hiss. Plus that would interrupt schooling... I'm supposed to be done in August. :D So I don't want to ruin that...

BLAHHH!!!!! I want to purge too, ate a yummy supper but it was yucky to my brain. I feel physically fine but mentally I'm a mess. :'(

[Fog] 22-12-2009 11:19 AM

Good morning guys, hope everyone slept well. *Hands out coffees (or hot choc if you would prefer!) *

Kiera on the one hand it might help to have some support from your parents, but then I don't know what they are like about your illness. But as Scarletdreamer said, if you're over 18 then they don't have to know. Either way I hope that you're ok and that you can get some help and support from somewhere.

Scarlett sorry to hear about your girlfriend. Hope she gets better soon. *Takes some pizza, puts it into the magical calorie-remover machine and munches*

Scarletdreamer yeah it is hard being klepto. It's just so unacceptable and the guilt that goes with it is unbearable. Plus there's the fact that most people don't realise that klepto is different to shoplifter. I don't want what I steal, I don't plan it and I rarely remember taking the stuff. Last week I got arrested for it but luckily I had the nicest policewoman on the planet and I got off with just a caution. Not nice though. Lol bless you with going to the toilet. My mum does that too, it's annoying! Urgh... Christmas food... I know what you mean about ED treatment and I'm sorry to hear that you can't afford it at the moment. I don't know how the healthcare system works where you are, but can you get support from a dietician or therapist or something just to get a little bit of a helping hand? I'm on a never ending waiting list for an ED support group and for ED therapy, I wish they'd hurry up because I just can't eat "normally" any more. No idea what normal eating is to be honest. I did try it... but that set me off on a really bad B&P phase... I'm the lowest weight I've ever been at the moment. My psych's advice was to "just eat" as it's not a "proper illness" for me... I told him to **** off as he clearly hadn't studied EDs properly at uni!!

Anyway sorry I'm rambling... but I hope you all have a good day xxx

Steel Maiden 22-12-2009 12:22 PM

Hugs to all.

All I can think about is KILL.

Scarletdreamer 22-12-2009 01:43 PM

Banana, I'm in the States and I do have a therapist, but she's currently unavailable due to a death in the family. I tried texting her last night, hoping that she wouldn't be occupied as I needed someone to text/talk with, but she texted back saying that she was at a funeral, blah blah blah. So now I feel really bad because I think I interrupted the funeral with a text message!!! :( I'm going to have to call her office >_< to make an appt because I don't have one set up yet... grrrr. I also have a NP (nurse practitioner - she takes care of my meds and I love her to pieces!!) that is very supportive and kind, although she doesn't always respond to texts/voicemails (GRRRR!!!!!). So yeh. That's what's been going on with me as far as support for stuff goes. My N (nutritionist) is way too expensive to see frequently so I am kind of stuck where I am. :(

I am at the highest weight I've ever been at the mo... but I am going to lose it. I'm betting that a LOT of it is water weight as I haven't been drinking properly and have a tendency to retain water like nothing else. :( So I need to drink more fluids... have a lot of Propel and VitaminWater and flavored drink packets for our icky-tasting water. And tea, too. Lots and lots of tea!!! :P

Hopefully you'll get the help that you need soon... *big hugs*

*hugs Steel Maiden* Sorry to hear that things aren't going too well right now. "KILL" - as in yourself? or am I totally missing it. >_<

*hugs everyone, leaves some calorie-free chocolates on the table, and pops out*

one_step_closer 22-12-2009 02:01 PM

I need to find a way out of life without hurting my brother. I can't stand being alive any longer.

[Awakening] 22-12-2009 02:20 PM

*Offers cuddles to everyone*

*hugs scarletdreamer* It sucks that you have to be desperate to get the help you need. I think its the same everywhere and with all mental health disorders, from what ive seen anyway! It shouldnt be like that. I'm really sorry you cant access help easilly atm :( can i have some tea please???

Banana, I couldnt imagine that! It must be so hard. Do you have a leaflet or something that you could carry arround with you that explain Klepto and what they (shopkeepers and police etc) should do in certain circumstances? I love the magical calorie-remover machine! I wish i'd had it last night! Can i borrow it later please?? Im gonna have a mac donalds - yum yum!

*Hugs Steal Maiden* I'm sorry you're struggling atm, are you able to keep urself safe? Does distraction work at all? I'm here if u want to talk or rant..

One step closer, If you mean what i think you mean then i don't think there is a way i'm afraid :( can u try doing something to relax urself? How about spending some time with your brother to remind yourself that u want to stay around for him? Are you getting the help you need right now? *gives u a big hug and runs a lovely bath for you*

mmm *scoffs loads of calorie-free chocolates and works up the energy to go to the laundrettes and have a yell at some Psych Nurses* wish me luck!

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