Zowie, Beth is wrong
please dont listen to her. YOU are in charge NOT BETH hun it's up to you it's your decision and you are the one in control.

You are not a failure! Don't listen to Beth hun. Please, keep yourself safe and away from anything that can harm you x

*hugs all round*

I'm sorry i haven't been very good with advice lately, im just having a really hard time at the moment and i'm really struggling with everything, but i do care about you all a lot and if you ever need someone to talk to i am around well i won't be at the weekend as i'm taking 2 days away to sort myself out but i will be thinking of you all :)

Thanks Em, i can't believe they have cut my phone off expecially at the time when i really need it, it's only a 12 month contract so when that ends i am so going back to pay as u go so much easier at least you don't get cut off then when ever you don't pay the bill on time. i do still feel really emotional about yesterday but i'll get over it in time but with my slip up i just feel like a failure cause i really didn't wanna SI before my birthday but i did :(

Stay strong everyone :) xxx

Does anyone wanna talk?

I dunno, I just sorta feel all ehhh & blahhh.

:/

We all always wanna talk :D (well in my opinion haah)

Zowie hun, pleas don't listen to Beth. YOU are the strong one. YOU are the one in control. Fight her luv. You totally need to LIVE, not die. *snuggles*

Carole I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Have you told your BF that? Please don't bleed, it's not worth it luv...

Yea, we're always up for a chat :)

I've told him about feeling like a failure and he disagrees with me completely. Haven't told him about anything else though.

Ally, how are you doing?

Maybe you should talk to him about it luv... Only if you're comfortable though.

I'm alright I suppose. Exhausted, my head hurts, and one of the side effects of my meds is driving me nuts: my ears are ringing. I didn't mean to alarm anyone it was just a feeling/realization I had... I've just been feeling crap, I graduate soon and I've got no apartment and no job and I just can't see a future atm... Seriously, before I could see it, I knew what I was going to do. Now it's all fallen down around my ears and I can't see it. It seriously feels like it should end when uni does...

my ears ring sometimes i HATE IT drives me absolutely insane
this past winter they rang for like 48 hours straight and i almost ripped off my ears i swear i was going insane from it.
tell ur doc maybe they can do something? it's way too annoying to have to deal with Alyssa hun

i know it's hard to see the future, i cant either and i feel like i have stopped moving forward, stopped going anywhere, but that doesnt have to be the end.
i graduated in 06 and got a job and an apt and did all of that for about a year and then quit the job and moved home and am temping like a loser and i have no life really but i am still here so you can do it too. i am right where i would have been if i hadnt had that first job and apt after graduation and my life isnt a complete farce (yet) and nobody has noticed that i am not going anywhere or making any progress because lots of college grads need a couple years to get on their feet. you have time. you dont have to rush you have time to figure that out and you dont even have to feel guilty or feel unprepared because it is 100% NORMAL to not have a plan after graduation and if you are thinking about it now you are actually like ahead of the game so go you for planning!

Ear ringing sucks, I get it a lot as I have hearing loss...so yeah I know how crazy it can drive me >.<

sweetie, i dont think anyone is ignoring you, certainly not on purpose. i've noticed in the last couple of weeks it has quietened down on the whole forum-dont know why....... lots of people doing exams, sunny weather etc....... BUT DONT THINK ITS PERSONAL *huggles* :smurf:

Thanks hun *huggles*

Dont mention exams, I'm dreading my 20hr exam...it's gonna really depress me again =[

I'm still too dain bramaged (brain damaged) to be of much support.

Carol, the issues with your boyfriend happen to married folks too. Sometimes we're just not on the same wave length.

Zowie, please fight Beth. You can do it.

Ally dear, my ears don't ring, they click. What a pain, cause of years of untreated allergies. *snarls thinking about parents* I kinda cheated and decided to go to grad school at the same uni, same department I got my BA in, only took a year off to get married. I'd been husband hunting since I was 14, took nine years to catch one.

Helen, no advice but I have been reading your posts.

Chloe, I always push myself hard, have since I was in uni. For me it is a good way of not having to feel things, I really can be a work a holic.

Hugs all around.

eeeekkkk!!! 20hrs!!!!! is that an art exam or something?

I think...I'm gonna leave...everything...everyone...everywhere...
I can't get it right. Why am I still here?

Lil esky- Nope. It's an ICT exam (well an Applied ICT exam to be exact) but yeah hopefully will finish on the Thursday afternoon/early Friday. I hated it last time around, I actually had a breakdown on the thursday afternoon and had to miss nearly 30 mins of my exam- not good!!! I'm trying not to think negatively about it. I might actually go talk to Jane & Julie bowt it....might help.

Alex, what's going on sweetie?

Oh, I'm feeling bit better. Though a headache has come on and seems to be hurting my face hmm =\ Anyway I sent Emma a pm which helps me personally...just to clear the air!! =D I do hope she's okay :(

Alexx - here for you - can we do anything to help -ears at the ready and hugs are going free


Hi to everyone else - hands out really soft snuggly blankets if anyone wants one -

coz...I feel stupid...its probably coz I went out and got drunk...but I felt good before I left....then everyone else got there and it was like...I shrank away and I wasnt anywhere near as pretty as them...and how am I supposed to...urgh ><
I wanted him so bad....and everyone keeps sticking their ****ing interferring noses in telling him to ask me out and I dont WANT that because the idea absolutly terrifies me. Ive been knocked down too many times in too many different ways. I dont want a realtionship....sure...it'd be nice...but right now...I want fun....but not sleeping-around fun...I want fun with one person...like...an open relationship...and see where it goes.
I want him to be here. I wanted to kiss him...but I'm spineless. But most of all...I wanted a cuddle. and I couldn't talk to my mate because his pissing girlfriend was there glaring at me...
And my mum found out about the scars on the top of my legs and shouted at me....then told me I SHOULDNT have gone to A&E when I OD'ed....and I wish I hadnt....
I wish I'd died.
I just want a cuddle.
I want to feel loved.
I want to know whats wrong with me.
I want to be able to go out...have a good time...and not walk home, sobbing my heart out in the rain.
I dont deserve it though

Alex sweetie. I will tell you a few things now. I'm not sure what to advise about the boy. BUT I will say, I'm glad you didn't die from the OD. I love you so so so much and you means tons to me sweetheart. We all love you in here, and I think you know that and you know that we're here for you all the way :) *hugs* Ignore your mum hun....she talks utter crap :(

I want..to feel pretty...how stupid is that.
Secret?
Every night...I'd make two wishes..on the stars...
One that my dad would come back and we'd live happily ever after....
and the second that I could be pretty...
I may have given up on the first wish....but I still wish the second one...whether theres stars or not...