What's up, Hels, sweetie? *cuddles*

*offers safe hugs for those who want them* :) Hi Owen, hi Rosie... how are you two now? Rosie, is Kat okay? Owen, sleep well, sweetie.

*cuddles Mark* Glad that you got your bills paid... must be a relief!! :) And yeh, WoW can be confusing but it is a TON of fun - Hayley, Crimson, and I (with the help of Jarrod) can answer all of your questions though - Jarrod's been playing for nearly 4 years now so yeah... lol... lucky Hayley, to be able to play with someone you know from here. :( Makes me want to live in the UK, heh. :( I feel like the (l)on(e)ly American on here... although I know Laura is also from the States. But still... :( I wish I could play with you guys. It would be a BLAST. :D Enjoy yourselves though. :)

*cuddles Hayley* Hope the phone call with your parents goes okay... how are you feeling now? Hope you're doing alright...

Ugh. We're going to church today, to my bestie's church, again, and I'm scared because it's a combined service celebrating the ordination of the youth pastor... scared because there will probably be a TON of people there. :( Don't wanna go... but I also don't want Jarrod to go alone either.

Someone asked about the haircut... I think I will go with the short one, although I will ask to have it done a little longer, like two inches longer, than the pic showed. I don't know, though. :-/ Jarrod cut his hair last night, a buzzcut for the summer, so I think I will go with the short one too and see how I like it. If I don't like it, I'll let it grow out. :) My mum pointed out that the girl in the picture of the short hair has more my facial structure too, as opposed to the girl in the pic of the longer hair... so that's a plus. I'm planning on taking the pics to the hairdresser though, & asking her expert opinion... but I am currently planning on the short. It will be good for summer and will stop me from having such AWFUL tangles and snaggles in my hair after a bath. :)

*sigh* I feel like I'm going to explodddde...... :'(

So there is the hair... it's "normally" dark brownish black but due to the bleaching/dying blue for our first anniversary back in last October (2009), well, the bleaching bit remained and I don't want to bother with dying over it again. The shorter haircut would get rid of a lot of the blond and also, well, would keep it from being such a pain to take care of!! :P (dunno how many of you have long hair etc., I love mine, but it snaggles so easily and a lot is falling out now)

Anyway. Sorry for the sleepy-eyed first pic, it was taken in the morning. (That should explain all... lol.)

*hides in shame for the ugliness of the pics* :o

*Hugs Helen*
*Hugs April * I REALLY think the short one will suit you:)

The bills I paid are not the "Problem bills" I have been having trouble with , still stressing over them , I really don't know what to do with them and with being sent for a benefit medical , my SW said he would come with me to the medical and answer the questions for me , which is good , but I'm like not wanting to take off my clothes so everyone can look at my scars , hmmmmm

Been threatened to be kicked out

Why Helen ? Whats happened ? *Hugs*

*slips in tightly hugging her hubby's childhood cuddly lion*

*hides*

*Hugs Nicole*

*crawls under a pile of duvets and hides*

*Finds Kat and Hugs her a little*

*sniffles* thanks for coming to find me.

It's alright , you ok?

hi i havent been in here before...but im not feeling like im coping very well

not really. I'm feeling really low today. Ended up emailing the samaritans. No reply makes me feel crap. Missed church this morning and sunday dinner, so pissed off about that, especially as hubby has missed church for weeks running. My parents have taken Hazel for a couple of hours, praying she behaves so i can go have a kip. I'm so tired it's silly. Been hunting for some IRL help, but can't find anything right now. Counselling is looking at being £30 a session, and I dont think i can afford it, what with the debt management plan we're on and stuff. I'm beginning to regret having gone to the police about things that happened back when I was 15/16, I just wish the case was over and done with, that he was safely locked up. I hate knowing he's out there somewhere, running. Sorry, complaining.

*sits in a corner hugging a pillow*
I'm really anxious at the moment. I don't know why, I can just feel my heart beating really fast and really heavily.

*Hugs Kat* you're not complaining , thats what we are here for , to empathise and offer support when we can :)
*Waves at wannabfree* welcome to the ward
*Waves at Kitkat too* Can you try something to relax yourself . A hot bath or some camomille tea? , try and breath deeply .

thanks for listening mark. Hubby's asleep and baby's out, so have the time to myself to feel.

I want to tell the police I lied. I made it all up. they wont believe me. will they?

*hugs all who want to be hugged*

Sorry I've just popped in because I can't sleep and it's approximately 2:20 in the morning.

I've just read everyone's posts and I'm really sorry that everyone is struggling so much right now. I wish there was something I could do.

I guess that all I really can do is offer my shoulder for you to cry on, my ear to listen to what's happening and my arms to hug you if you can handle being touched.

*leaves some hugs in packages on the table*

Hey Kahlia*Hugs* I'm sorry you can't sleep , have you any idea as to why ?. Do you have any Cammomille tea you could make yourself that may help you relax enough to sleep?

*hugs Mark* - To be honest, I have absolutely no idea why I can't sleep. I don't have any chamomile at the moment actually. I'm just trying to do some calm-abiding meditation ... well not while I'm typing lol.

*huggles kahlia*

^^That sounds like a good idea , I'll be quiet and let you meditate:)

*hugs everyone and welcomes new members*

*puts out plate of cookies for new members*

*cuddles those who want to be hugged*

*hides*

*cries* I've had so many switches today i'm worn down, I dont wanna do this any more.

*Hugs Kat* I'm sorry you're having such a tough day .

*huggles* it's just got better, a friend of ours is expecting *celebrates more cute babies*

YEY , thats greay news Kat !! *celebrates with Kat*

that's four babies so far, we're going to take over the world, lol

*rocks*

You alright?

Heh my Sister just had a baby , we won't let you have the WHOLE world we need a corner :P

Hey Helen *Hugs* Whats up ?

No Kat, thank you for asking.
Mark, still upset from earlier.

I spy Kahlia aswell.

*hugs everyone - with the usual caveat*

Still not asleep and it's ~4:15 am. Oh well. Thanks everyone for the hugs and warm wishes though.

Hels, is there anything we can do to help hun?
Kat: I'm glad you had something to put a spring back into your step. :)
Mark: How are you going now?

I don't know anymore Kahlia....just have to wait & see if I get kicked out or not? :( She's broken me, oh wait...I already was broken :/

I'm ok Kahlia , for once NOT triggered :) Still feel numb though which sucks . I'm kinda wordering what to do with my evening .
Are you in a position that you could put on some relaxing music Kahlia , or would that wake others up? Also whats a caveat? *Dense*

I'm sorry you still feel awful Helen *Cuddles* anything I can do?

I think I might watch " The Crow " in a bit , I don't have the concentration for a new movie so something familiar will be nice I guess.

I get ya hun. My parents gave me a little plaque once that read: "If you get to the end of your rope, tie a big knot and hang on." They thought it was supposed to be inspirational or something ... All I kept thinking was "Sometimes it'd be so much easier to cut the rope then to tie the knot and hang on". I'm guessing you could probably relate to that which is why I'm sharing it. *sits beside you and offers you hugs*

Mark: In legal terms it means a warning - so I'm using it to mean "except for those who don't want one" but in the sense of "there are hugs here and if you don't want one then don't come too close". I just get tired of writing too much and writing the same thing over and over lol.

I could play some music, but I'm actually using my computer - with my housemate's graphics card and monitor (because my graphics card doesn't have a connector for his monitor) and I don't think the speakers are plugged in. We had my speakers attached earlier (we watched Avatar) but I don't think they're attached now. It's a bit of a mess here at the moment ... we have computer parts everywhere. :(

Oh and by the way, I love The Crow.

*cuddles you both*

*cuddles and then holds Helen*

Someone's username has just triggered off flashbacks. I so thought it was HIM, but thankflly it doesn't seem to be *hides*

*peeks in*

Sorry, no individual replies right now, as am feeling pretty much like ****. :( Jarrod and I argued about church earlier and it's still not really resolved. We made up but it's not resolved... if that makes sense. He thinks that maybe this is God telling me to submit... because I am ****ing stubborn... I don't know. I don't want to think that's why we're going through all of this... but I'll stop talking about it as I don't want to offend anyone in here. :-X

Then I have to study for finals but I can't focus, which is scaring me. :( I really need to do well in soc but I haven't even started the study guide, and I REALLY need to do so... health psych as well... and advanced counseling... the other two classes (senior sem & Women and Spirituality) don't really have finals, at least during exams week (this coming week).

My head aches, I went out and took a huge long bikeride today because of the anger... but it was without eating much at all... not wise. And I didn't bring water with me either. *sighs* It's just been a long and tiresome day... it's only 2:45pm and I just wish that the day were over... :(

*hides where no one can find her* :'(

*cuddles April* I'm sorry you had an arguement with jarrod, especially about something so important to you. I hope you manage to resolve it soon. good luck with your finals, I'm sure your'll do great.
did the bikeride help with your anger at all?

*cuddles Helen* I'm sorry something triggered you.

*cuddles Kahlia, Julie, Nicole, Kat, Mark, Laura, Crimson and the others he has forgotten*

the allotment was good, but now I'm feeling crap again and suicidal, dont have the energy or motivation to do anything, even when I know I need to do loads of work and something has really p***ed me off politicians are just disgraceful sometimes the stuff they come out with and think they are allowed to say, I hate being seen a s a second class citizen in so many people eyes.

Cuddles to you all, seems there's a few of you doing it tough right now. *finds those struggling and holds them tight as long as that's ok*

Nice to see some new faces. Welcome wannabfree, I've chatted to you before, let us know what you're comfortable with us calling you in here.

April, you're certainly not ugly hun, your hair will look great, a change might be just what you need to shake things up a bit. You go girl.

Why you sniffling Julie? *cuddles*

Big hugs to all my buddies here, I know I haven't done very well for you all this time, but I have read your threads and I do know where you're at and I'm thinking of you all.

*rushes out the door to work*

ah yes, sorry Owen I didn't look closely enough. So how come you sniffling?

*waves at Kitkat*

*cuddles to all who can accept them*

*happily accepts cuddles from Helen*
*cuddles back*

How you today hun? x