*Hugs April* You would NOT be better off dead , I bet more people would miss you than you realise . I would miss you for one . Which brings me to my second point which is online friends matter a lot to me too , they really do count :) you all count . And April I read your R/V thread and can totally relate to having problems with language and being anxious around people I don't know , just to let you know you aren't alone:)

*Hugs Helen* How are you coping ? I hope you are manageing to distract yourself today:)

*Hugs everyone else on the ward*

*hugs everyone on the ward, and is pleased to be home *

Kahlia how did the parental visit go? Any wee ones around today too?

Helen - sweetie, sorry I haven't been around the last 24 hours, how are you now gorgeous girl *cuddles gently*

Deidre - coping with the death of someone close to you is really hard yards. Do you have some support? I am still working through my uncle's death just over a year ago, just back today from the scattering of his ashes and still miss him every day. Have a look at my thread
http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...41#post2233341 if you like.

Laura - "I'll be fine" is something one of my friends says on here, and normally it means the opposite! Please take care of yourself and keep talking to us. *hugs*

*spies April hiding and offers her a night out on the town with her online friends* we do count sweetie, don't let anyone tell you anything else.

*hugs oliver *[who keeps completely separate hours from me]

*dances around with Mark, after 4 flat whites today!*

*pops out a raspberry muffin and fabulous accompanying tea for Crimson and hopes to catch her here one day soon too*

TBH I'm not sure how I am, about to go to bed after 3 days away full of emotion and cuddles and tears. Hoping I'm ok tomorrow. *crosses fingers*

*cuddles everybody*

I don't know how I'm doing? It just hurts?

One best friend has surprised me, she's already texted and said she'll be online later. Didn't think she would, because she's been super struggling. The other hasn't text me since 9.24pm last night (and it's now 12.35pm) :S Might text her in a bit, if she doesn't first.

April, we would NOT be better off with you dead. :'( *cuddles tight*

*hugs everyone*

The visit at my parentals place was ... okay-ish. Very crowded and there were three little ones - two 4 year olds and an 8 year old. Just a very crowded and strange afternoon. I picked up my little dogs blanket, and now just have to pick up her jumpers.

Am very, very tired and about ready to crash.

*leaves gigantic hugs for everyone who enters the ward*

*sits*

*cuddles Lindsay & Kahlia lots*

*sits quietly next to Lindsay*

Helen - yes text your friend 'K? We don't always have to wait for them *hugs and dials the number*

Kahlia - hmmm, those noisy, crazy afternoons can sometimes send us into a spin....bed is a good option, ni night sweet.

I've heard from them since that post, her phone's died but she's online <3

Good morning, everyone...

Lots of posts. :)

*cuddles Mark, Hels, Lindsay, JK, Kahlia, Oliver, Crimson, Hayley, Laura, & anyone else I'm missing* :( I don't feel very well right now... wish I could feel okay for a change... I don't know... I just am so sick of being this way. :( Just want to be different than who I am... I'm such a burden to so many people... :crying: I think I would be better off dead... it would make it so much easier for so many people...

I'm glad you guys think that online friends count. :) Because I think that too. It's just that... I don't know... I am so sick of not being able to have IRL friends... never been part of a group, and everyone I know is... it HURTS. :crying:

*hides where no one can find her*

*Finds April and hugs her*

ENT stands for Ear,nose and throat , I have ear issues lol , It's not funny but "Ear issues" sounds it :P

*pops in for a quick visit, cuddles everyone lots* must go writing a part out, the joys of being prinicpal, you have to do stuff and be in charge. I promise I'll reply properly later, when I have a free and have time.

*hugs everyone*

*cuddles everyone*

*cuddles helen* how're you feeling hun??

*cuddles Nicole*

Just hurting :( Want to cry..

*cuddles helen* Im sorry that this is such a hard day, I'm glad ur best friends are online to talk to.

*hugs april* you would not be better off dead, nor are you a burden on others. you're just struggling, and you need to lean on people. If someone around u was struggling I bet you would want them to lean on u instead of thinking they were better off gone. We <3 u here. I'm sorry your having trouble with friend issues, as I said before, I understand that and it really sucks sometimes :-/

*hugs JK* Im sry that the past few days have been so emotional.. Hope u are alright.

*hugs mark* Hope the ENT appointment went okay. How r u doing today?

*hugs kahlia* Was it okay that it was crowded? Just wondering b/c i know sometimes I get really anxious when there is a lot of noise happening around me. Sleep well!

*cuddles lindsay, nicole, and oliver* How r u guys doing? Hope things are okay.

I know that fine is not fine... but i dont know what else to say. Its not like im actually gonna do anything too horribly bad, I never do. I saw my friend that I always talk to yesterday, and I didnt even say anything to him, even when he asked. I dont want to worry people. There is enough drama going on right now that people dont need me falling apart on top of it.

It's getting harder. Nobody's around. I fell asleep (was watching tv) and had a really horrible nightmare. Especially the last bit. *rocks and cries*

Wish I could cry IRL.

*gently holds helen* I wish i had words to make u feel better, I'm sorry about ur nightmare. Nightmares are horrible. *more cuddles*

*holds and cuddles* They are horrible. Don't think there's any words to make me feel any better right now. Just need to keep somehow getting through the day.

*hugs helen* im so sorry hun. i wish i could be there to hold you. x
*hugs laura* im ok thanks. you ok?