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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

risenfromperdition 01-07-2012 08:31 PM

anything we can do to help?
*sits with*

Laura2.0 01-07-2012 08:41 PM

*hugs* you could listen to music you like and sing loudly, only happy music or music with a lot of power. I do that sometimes when I'm not feeling safe.

Heather - yeah, I can ride that well, but it took me years of training. I can ride bareback without reins and I don't fall off when the horse starts to rise or whatever. But yeah... it took a LOT of training and I know 'my' horse well. But being a good rider doesn't really do anything good lately... we don't own the horse anymore and I can't ride knight tournaments with other peoples horses.

happiness...its all a lie 01-07-2012 08:48 PM

thank you, i found out just how much im affecting my mum and i feel so guilty i just want to cut. I wish i could run away and her not see my pain anymore. I dont know what to do.

Doikers 01-07-2012 08:49 PM

I have an announsment to make tomorrow , sad but positive , night ya'll

happiness...its all a lie 01-07-2012 08:56 PM

night x

Laura2.0 01-07-2012 08:56 PM

Mark: that's not fair to make us wait.

happiness: I don't know in what way you are affecting your mom. But her being affected by you means that she really loves you.

I'm off to bed, too. Good night all.

happiness...its all a lie 01-07-2012 09:23 PM

With my depression she sees me struggling and hates that im not getting better.

Louise 01-07-2012 10:35 PM

hugs you all

risenfromperdition 02-07-2012 12:31 AM

*hugs back*

Doikers 02-07-2012 11:56 AM

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Louise*

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Faye*

Dear Wardies , Today I am ONE YEAR S.I. free exactly :D . I however am struggling and have been professionally advised to not support so many people online so with a heavy heart I am provisionally discharging myself from the ward . I have been here years and dearly love you call , I will pop back and visit often , If you have facebook and want to add me please PM me , or PM me anytime if you need to chat . I am struggling recently with my mental health and if I don't take care of myself I won't be able to help others . Now as I'm crying I will leave Huggles and Fruit for you all. I wish you all the very best , <3 , Mark .

midnightphoenix 02-07-2012 02:20 PM

Aww Mark it's good that you're one year SI free, we love you too and hope you pop by as often as you feel able to (hugs)

*snuggles everyone*

happiness...its all a lie 02-07-2012 02:36 PM

thats amazing mark well done *bighugs* hope things get better my inbox is always open if you want some support or can add me on facebook. Look after yourself things will get better.

*snuggles dylan*
Hope everyones ok?

risenfromperdition 02-07-2012 04:30 PM

love you mark, im on fb if you need. <3.
proud. =]

happiness...its all a lie 02-07-2012 05:07 PM

can someone knock me out please? my jaw and head both hurt, im tired, my leg hurts and i feel crabby.

*hides in the corner*

Doikers 02-07-2012 06:01 PM

Thank You Heather :)

*Hugs Faye*

happiness...its all a lie 02-07-2012 09:05 PM

thanks grr at pain today altho i did get a job yay

Doikers 02-07-2012 09:18 PM

Yey Sarah!!

m0nk 02-07-2012 10:12 PM

stupidest thing ever. i get anti-psychtics to get normal when all it does is just shove everything i have at 1 end of my brain and kills my mental anti-psychotics defense system into a box in a corner somewhere. then i get anti depressant to feel happy about it. wtf is that point of? doctors without borders. what a laugh. doctors without iq.. and on the side of that is a anti-bi-effect to just swish along.

i feel ridiculously badly ill and my brain has no blood left in it for every mother****ing brainsucker out there. i wanna f'ing go do something stupid like vomitting or worse. they are ****ing using me and laughs about it and i can't do anything about it cause if i do they'll just put me on a stronger medicine that has me drooling over nothing.

*crawls in corner* *innaffective* *listens to music* *inaffective* *playing dead in my mind* *inaffective*

nobody takes any responisibilityand i'm left with their shame, anger, hate, guilt, conciousness, life death heaven hell earth wind water air fire ground stone. either i'm gonna slowly tear myself down because of this or am i gonna stay undisputed in beeing dumbfooled and the one that everyone hates and looks down on forever since i have nothing to hold on to anymore.

like no one is around me i just gonna feel deep til i drop. or maybe i need some food. btw 3+ months free of cutting.
mom seems distant - dad came by to look at my computer monitor tv before he left - ppl that comes with medicine have all the blame for this. i dont even get a window of a sigh of future good things to happen.

fear = everything. solution? buy a cat. raise it as a companion. not a pet. hmm. maybe teach it to talk. talk to the cat til i drop fast sleeping. waking up it begging me for food while licking my cheek cause he needs attention.
playing with it for hours.

and hey. found out why i smoke so much = cause i'm afraid that i may want to begin to hurt myself.
some edge thing in my head going on. i'm just writing this incase i get a headache that could possibly kill me for not enough blood in my brain cause of meds.

i'll hide my tainted wrists behind a sour lipgloss'd kiss
&my acid green tears won't interfere
with your oh-so-clever plan to paint the whole world rainbow
but when you get to me; you know
you'll have long run out of rainbow paint
&my favourite hot pink will be too faint
to paint upon me; so just forget me
just paint me black &white
with words that give a vicious bite
&then erase me all away; erase me 'cause i'm your each &every pain
now non-existant; i'm much less a threat
but you'll never know that i was the closest to best friend that you'll ever get.

Thats right mom,
Just keep staring into the t.v,
Hide away from all your problems,
So you don't have to see,

Your familys falling apart,
To fast for your fingertips to catch,
Your sons hooked on drugs,
And your out of weed to match,

You could care less,
If i popped another dex,
That i've cried a hundred tears,
Without you seeing the effects,

You don't even know me,
Your to concerned in your own affairs,
Oblivious to everyone but yourself,
I am the failure your conciensce bares,

Your not even lliving,
To numb to feel the world around,
I am the mistake you made,
The chain to which your bound

happiness...its all a lie 02-07-2012 10:29 PM

Im sorry things are so hard for you hun. they can get better. 3 months is amazing well done you should be super proud. You just havent found the right doctor yet *big hugs* pm anytime x

Doikers 02-07-2012 10:37 PM

night dudes and dudettes

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