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Doikers 03-01-2011 05:54 PM

*Hugs Lia*

I haven't drunk so far this year and I cannot go back on the pills , an Ingrediant is against my beleifs .... It would be so much simpler not to have principles heh

PsychoKitty2010 03-01-2011 05:59 PM

-hugs ward- morning everyone. Sorry that everyone is doing so poorly.

Doikers 03-01-2011 06:04 PM

*Hugs Kitty* How're you?

PsychoKitty2010 03-01-2011 06:11 PM

Extremely tired and not happy. I took one of my sleeping pills and went to bed early last night (around 11 pm) but tossed and turned until about midnight then woke up at 5 am because I needed to get a drink of water (don't like having a glass of water on my night stand because the cat likes to drink out of it even though he has his own water dish) so I had to get up go to the kitchen get a glass of water then go to the bathroom and then when I went back to bed it took me until 7 am ish to fall asleep again. And then my husband and I had to wake up at 8:30 am because we have an important appointment to go to at 11 am this morning.

The sleeping pills aren't working the best anymore. I still have nightmares every night. But the pills aren't even keeping me asleep throughout the entire night anymore. I know without the pills I still wouldn't be able to sleep because of the nightmares. I don't understand why they won't go away. I hate using the pills but how else am I supposed to get any sleep? Ugh I just don't know.

MammaMia 03-01-2011 06:17 PM

Mark, can you not ask someone within your team to find you something that would stop you from drinking but doesn't go against your beliefs?

Doikers 03-01-2011 06:24 PM

Helen , That is a good idea , I have a meeting with my new worker tomorrow , maybe thats a good time? :) *Hugs*

*Hugs Kitty* What are your sleeping pills hun? You are building up a tolerance it sounds like . I'm sorry you are having nightmares too :S
Could you get a bottle with a screw top lid to keep water in by your bedside? Thats what I do :)

misskitty112 03-01-2011 06:25 PM

*hugs Kitty*
*hugs Mark*
*hugs Helen*
*hugs Lia*

I'm not sure what's the matter, Lia. It's just... everything. I'm tired of hurting, of hurting other people, of struggling to function. I'm sick of it. I don't know.

PsychoKitty2010 03-01-2011 06:30 PM

-hugs mark- The sleeping pills are actually an anti-depressant that causes drowsiness (my MD seemed to think they would be a good idea to go along with my anti-anxiety pills). They are called Trazodone, which is generic for Desyrel or something like that. And for some reason I have not considered using a water bottle at nights. -sighs- Just goes to show how stupid I am. But thanks for the idea, Mark. I'll keep it in mind.

-offers everyone a protective teddy to snuggle with-

Doikers 03-01-2011 06:33 PM

You're not stupid Kitty . :) *Hugs*

*Hugs Felicia*

Kahlia1981 03-01-2011 06:40 PM

*huggles/waves at all*

hewwo. sorry i've been so absent. things are *really* not good here. the depression is *extremely* bad. its affecting my appetite and now my housemate is trying to force food down my throat because he's concerned that i'm not eating. still trying to get my study done at the same time ... it just never rains but it pours. *sigh*

*sends warm wishes to everyone that they start feeling better* - *wishes she could do more*

PsychoKitty2010 03-01-2011 06:41 PM

-shivers- Holy hell it's cold! But I can't turn up the heat my husband won't let me. He gets so mad when I do because it increases our electric bill (we have baseboard heaters so its even worse) and we still have assistance to pay it but we only have like $100 left in our account and if the bill goes over $100 we are screwed. Energy is so expensive in this town it is ridiculous!

-pulls heavy blankets over her and snuggles into them-

PsychoKitty2010 03-01-2011 06:44 PM

-hugs kahlia- Awe, sorry you have been so depressed. I hope things get better for you.

Doikers 03-01-2011 06:50 PM

*Squishes Kahlia* I'm sorry your Depression is getting to you , I really hate that when it happenes to any of us :( *Sends warm wishes back to you* You'll get through this hun , you will .

PsychoKitty2010 03-01-2011 07:00 PM

Sometimes I wonder how mental illness came about. I mean, in the old days, like horse and buggy days and stuff, you never heard of mental illness. I wonder if it was just something that wasn't heard of because they didn't know about it or if something along the road of life caused it. You hear about suicides a lot today but you didn't really hear about it back then. Makes me kind of want to go back in time and see for myself. If it wasn't an issue back then, what caused it for the here and now? It sucks majorly! Sorry just random thought rambling.

SparkleKitten 03-01-2011 07:08 PM

Is mainly because suicide was seen as a lot more shameful and was punishable by death for a huge number of years here in the UK. There was no help available and a lot of people drank and smoked heavily, I think these could all have something to do with it. Plus with our ever increasing lifespan I think possibly mental illness could be easier detected. Not to mention people didn't talk about personal things like that, it just wasn't the done thing. Well thats my take on it hun. *cuddles Wardies*

Had a low day today, enjoyed a nice long walk but then my mood dropped and I've no idea what to do. >:(

PsychoKitty2010 03-01-2011 07:12 PM

I have heard about how suicides used to be punishable by deaths...I thought it was funny. But you make a good point there, Sarah.

-snuggles sarah- Sorry you had a low day today. I lubbles you.

I have to go for my appointment. I have another one in about 3 and a half hours but I will be back after this one for a while until I have to leave for my second one. Love you all. xx

SparkleKitten 03-01-2011 07:15 PM

Lubbles you too my snugglekitty :) hope your appointment goes well. I thought the death penalty thing was a joke at first, then realised just how misunderstood things have been before now. Sure some people have issues with people who have mental health problems but nothing compared to what they have been.

MammaMia 03-01-2011 07:21 PM

*cuddles everybody*

Kitty, that sucks about the heating *sends you warmth* Try snuggle up with blankets and hot water bottles?

Mark, tomorrow sounds like a good time to ask :)

Sarah, low days suck. I think I'm sorta having one =/ Particularly after whining on my LJ. *cuddles*

Kahlia, I'm sorry your depression is so bad. Keep going sweetie, it won't always pour *hugs* xx

SparkleKitten 03-01-2011 07:24 PM

*snuggles Helen* I don't have a reason to be low right now, thats what annoys me more than it being a low day. I had a good day. I'm having a good evening. I don't understand >:(

Doikers 03-01-2011 07:26 PM

*Hugs Sarah*

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