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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

PsychoKitty2010 03-01-2011 01:20 AM

Even if I eat healthy I still can't lose weight. I've tried it. Even if I eat something real small I can't lose weight. I don't get it. My biological aunt is pretty thin, as is my grandma. My biological mom is pretty hefty but it's because of her medications. I'm beginning to wonder if I am that way because of the medications (taking them while she was pregnant with me?) Hell I don't know. I was super skinny when I was a kid but then again I never ate. Ever. My mom had to force me to eat. Then I got older and started eating more and instantly gained weight. It's been constant over the years now I gain weight every year. By the time I am 50 I will probably weigh 500 pounds at this rate.

The following content has been hidden - Reason : ED trig
Growing up with my mom has always been a constant battle. If she wasn't bitching at me about my grades, she was bitching about my weight and skin condition (I have a skin condition on my face mainly where it is like acne but my skin gets all bumpy and stuff and its always oily even after I wash it with soap and water). I decided when I was a teenager I would just not eat. I would go a whole day eating very little. Mom never noticed of course because like I said she is in denial has been for as long as I can remember. But then I was going to be a "counselor" at a church camp during the summer for younger girls (meaning I would bunk with them and basically be a glorified babysitter...this was back when I was a christian). I decided I could not continue those eating habits anymore I had to be a good role model. So I started eating normally again, but I really had to force myself and I made myself so sick because I was not used to eating regular amounts of food anymore. Long story short, I really ****ed myself up. Now if I go more than a few hours without eating anything I get so weak and about pass out.

But I can't do anything right. I have to walk on eggshells even around my husband...a normal person should not have to do that. There really is no place for me in this world..

SparkleKitten 03-01-2011 01:22 AM

I just wish she'd stop talking, I want her to stop. The more she talks the more I hear voices, the more the voices tell me how terrible she is, the more I realise she's bullied me all my life. I just want to disappear. She keeps watching all these "look at how these fat people lost weight" programmes on tv and keeps telling me I need to go on one. >:(

I just want her to shut up.

Kitty - you shouldn't have to walk on eggshells, I wish we could all run away somewhere safe. >:(

misskitty112 03-01-2011 01:23 AM

*hugs Laura, Sarah, and Ian*

I really don't know what to do at this point.

SparkleKitten 03-01-2011 01:34 AM

Whats wrong Felicia?

MammaMia 03-01-2011 01:34 AM


Originally Posted by Ribenalion (Post 2637335)
She keeps telling me that I don't have anything wrong with me, I'm just making it all up for attention and a reason as to why I'm fat. I hate it here. I hate her.

Just ignore her. You know the truth sweetheart *cuddles* You're not fat at all. We're all here for you xx


Originally Posted by Fallinstar0317 (Post 2637345)
*spies sarah, ian, helen, and kitty* hello all of you!

*hugs everyone*

Family still here, snuck off for a few seconds in my room though. And of course there is drama... can't get through a family get together without a fight.

Hope everyone is okay as can be.

*cuddles lots* Sorry there's drama :( I hope things don't get too heated. Sorry I haven't replied to your PM yet xx

*hugs Ian back*

SparkleKitten 03-01-2011 01:38 AM

I love you. Seriously. Thankyou. xx

frenchhorn 03-01-2011 01:38 AM

*hugs all*

PsychoKitty2010 03-01-2011 01:39 AM

-hugs helen, oliver, and sarah- Sorry there's not much I can say to help right now. Hugs are about as good as it gets.

-curls up in her dark corner and stares out into the abyss and snuggles a protective teddy bear, hoping it will do its magic-

SparkleKitten 03-01-2011 01:40 AM

*snuggles Kitty* I'm here for you

Hey Oliver, how you doing?

PsychoKitty2010 03-01-2011 01:49 AM

-whispers- Can I just die now..?

Cazki 03-01-2011 01:53 AM

Thanks Helen. *Walks away in to the corner and hides*

SparkleKitten 03-01-2011 01:55 AM

No Kitty, I need you. You're going through similar things to me and I wish I could help but I love you. *snuggles tightly*

PsychoKitty2010 03-01-2011 02:00 AM

Ian you are welcome to come join Sarah and I in this corner. There's plenty of room for you too. Just thought I'd offer.

-snuggles with sarah and sighs- I jus dont know how much longer I can tolerate it. I dont even live with her anymore and she still acts as though she can control me. I have told her she cant but she wont stop until she wins. Then she would just find something else to bitch about.

-takes in a deep breath- sorry mom...I'm not perfect. I'm far from it. I get it...I'm a complete failure at anything and everything. -sighs again-

frenchhorn 03-01-2011 02:01 AM

No Kitty you can't die, no one here can

SparkleKitten 03-01-2011 02:09 AM

Oh Kitty :( I wish I could help *curls up in corner*

ljmeep 03-01-2011 02:14 AM

*gives hugs back*

Man I've been busy all frickin day. I'm still not done either! I'm just taking a small break to repair a baby blanket for the boys.. o.O then it's back to work... la te da :)

SparkleKitten 03-01-2011 02:15 AM

Having fun dear?

ljmeep 03-01-2011 02:24 AM

I'm not sure if the "having fun dear?" was directed to me or not.. but I'll answer anyway... lol

Not at all! I hate cleaning... the laundry keeps reproducing so fast I can't keep up with it (I cloth diaper so that's a large part of it), and it seems as soon as i finish cleaning something I'm back at it with in an hour or so (the joys of having small children)... lol :P But I am getting it done ... even if it is slow going... and that makes me feel good.

PsychoKitty2010 03-01-2011 02:29 AM

-hugs kelly- sorry you are so busy.

-curls up next to sarah- its ok. I understand. I honestly dont even know if theres any help or hope for me anymore. :(

ljmeep 03-01-2011 02:32 AM

it's k, kitty... just a fact of life.. I've been putting off repairing this blanket for over a month now... it feels good to get it done now.. and it's a good break

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