*hugs kitty* I'm debating whether to stay up all night and pack, or sleep for 4 hours, get up at 7 and pack, but I am awful at getting up and would likely over sleep.
went to e gym for 2 hours and cycled there and back, for a few minutes after I felt good, now I feel empty and depressed again, wish I could die, but I don't have any motivation or energy to act on it.

-hugs nicole and oliver- well...hmm...we are all pretty f*ked together then. Least we have each other I suppose, right?

*squishes anyone who wants*
*curls up in corner*

*hugs oliver, kitty and heather*
Eugh. We definatley are all pretty ****ed. But it will get better-right?

-hugs heather- wassa matter?

-looks at nicole blankly after hearing her question- Uhhhhhhhh...least we are all together.. -bites her bottom lip, wondering if it WILL ever get better-

*curls up under blankie and yawns*
i's ok. sleepy.
dont wanna sit exam tomorrow =[

-snuggles with heather- I'm sorry hun. Is there something you can take to help you get a good nights sleep so you can be well rested for the exam? I know how much anxiety those damn things can cause. I hope you do well on it. -smiles-

Will it ever get better? -ponders- I've been asking that question for 15 years now...haven't had any positive results. -sighs- I just want to give up..

*Hugs Heather* Good luck on your exam tomorrow! <3 you.

*hugs Kitty* I've been asking myself the same thing... for almost 15 years. I don't know an answer, I hope it does... for both of us.

So. damn. low.
I wanna sleep it away. can't.
*sigh*
*curls up in ward*
I'll be here for awhile it seems.

-hugs felicia- I sorry. I dont know what to say to make it better. Im low as well. Amara is here nagging at me. Tried walking to the library earlier, thinking it would help to get out. She followed me. She kept talking to me in the library, mocking me really. It was quite frustrating. -sighs- -curls up next to felicia-

I'm sorry, Kitty. Is there any way you could drown her out?

I'm thinking of suicide more strongly, like I don't want to get rid of my stuff when it gets here. And all that jazz. *Sigh*

-hugs felicia- unfortunately, I can't drown her out. She is everywhere, including in my mind. So even if I listen to music or watch a movie I can't focus on it because she overpowers everything. :(

And I know how you feel about suicide. I have what I need to succeed, but, I don't know. I know that I don't want to die around the holidays it would be harder on my family and stuff. But I'm seriously considering it...

I don't mean to sound like a hypocrite, but I don't want you to die. I know I haven't known you long but you seem like such a good person. Me...I'm not. I am not good at anything, cannot work, probably won't be able to finish school so I will have to be dependent on the state, and my husband and mom don't understand. I am not even good at helping people. I feel like a complete waste of space and time and everything. :(

No, Kitty, you aren't a waste of time and space. You're such a nice person, and you're so supportive. I wouldn't want you to die either. Everyone in this ward has impacted my life, and I love all of you. (And that is why I basically only post here). *hugs Kitty*

Oh, and I'm not really good at anything either, if it makes you feel better.

-hugs felicia back- you are a lot better at supporting than I am :S

Off to bed. Have to go to an appointment with the husband tomorrow, but will be on after. -hugs ward- hope everyone is doing well..

*Hugs Sarah*
*Hugs Kitty* Don't listen to Amara Hun You're a lovely person :)
*Waves to Owen*
*Hugs Lia*
*Hugs Oliver*
*Hugs Louise*
*Hugs Nicole*I'm sorry you feel so low hun *squishes*
*Hugs Heather*
*Hugs Felicia* OH Man I would miss you if you Died , Please consider trying to get rid of your suicide stuff when it arrives hun :S

*hugs everyone*

*Hugs Lindsay* How are you?

My Dad and Sister came into town to go grocery shopping, so I went along to help , Oh My Days! ( Thanks Lia ) people are pushy and oblivious to others in the supermarket , some are polite but Wow! It was too crowded ,I got anxious enough to need to take a Diaz as soon as I got back , My dad had to drop me way down my road as it is inpassable in his car . To top it all I could feel a damp patch on my right leg where my phone was rubbing my leg so I fished out my phone and it had blood on it from where I Self Injured last night the rubbing had re-opened the wound a bit, thank goodness I am wearing black trousers , and to get the blood off my phone before I even thought I Licked it! Ugh that taste of blood , please don't get any more triggered today .....

*Hugs Mark* I hate crowded places. It gets to a point where I want to puch everyone in the face, although they have as much right to be there as I do. Blood tastes gross. I for one, will never be a vampire. Try and focus on something that distracts/calms you. Or just hide your stuff so you're not as tempted. I threw one of my blades across the room weeks ago and I still don't have a clue where it is. I should fine that, it has blood on it. I like to say oh my days :) Since I can no longer blaspheme, I need something to say in situations where it's inappropriate to swear.

I have lit some "Sunrise" Insence in the hope on creating and nice atmosphere , I have music on , CD just ended I'll go and put on a new one shortly . I could never be a vampire either , I wasn't thinking oh I'll lick it off , I just DID it without thinking about it , I think I'll start using "Oh my Days" I think it's neat although slipping on ice and Sh%t! comes out automatically . You should look for that blade , you wouldn't want to step on it by accident . Anyway , How are you hun? *Hugs*