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FlyingNy 21-12-2010 11:17 PM

I'm alright. Better than yesterday. Me and my dementor are just going to have to get used to each other.

How about you Kitty?

PsychoKitty2010 21-12-2010 11:20 PM

I be ok right now. In pain and exhausted, but meh, alive. I am runnin around on like 6 hours of sleep which doesn't quite agree with the sleeping meds...usually I need like 8+ hours after taking them but I got woke up by the garbage man. Grrr. I hate thin walls.

Managed to get the apartment cleaned today, that was our goal. And now we are baking cookies and apple crisp. Haven't tried the apple crisp recipe yet, so hope it turns out good. Tomorrow is laundry, then Thursday is packing and loading up the car. We head out early Friday morning (around 9:30 am at the latest). Now I'm just kinda sittin here relaxin and wishing I was stoned. lol.

What are you up to?

PsychoKitty2010 21-12-2010 11:36 PM

-hugs helen- how you be?

SparkleKitten 21-12-2010 11:46 PM

I wish I was baking tonight. Baking is great fun. Hope everything goes smoothly for you Kitty :)

MammaMia 21-12-2010 11:49 PM

*hugs everyone*

I'm excited, cold, tired Kitty. How you doing?
How are you Sarah?

PsychoKitty2010 21-12-2010 11:51 PM

Meh I don't really like baking, personally. I'm not a cook in any way shape or form. But we are baking goods to take with for the holidays for everyone to share. Since we are all broke and can't afford regular gifts and all. So we decided we would bring a dessert, and share it with erryone. At least the apartment smells good now. Smells like cookies XD. Makes me want to eat the cookies though o.O

SparkleKitten 21-12-2010 11:51 PM

Not bad. Bit meh but got some new soft music to listen to. Its nice and soothing. My counsellor talk went better than I thought, she's so understanding of everything. *cuddles Helen*

*snuggles Kitty lots*

PsychoKitty2010 21-12-2010 11:53 PM

-hugs helen and gives a warm fuzzy blankie to snuggle with to get warm- I be ok. A bit tired and in quite a bit of pain, but mentally I'm ok right now. -whispers- Amara went away last night. She hasn't come back yet. That's a good thing. So ya I'm just sitting here relaxing smellin cookies, wanting to eat them. lol. -smirks-

EDIT: -snuggles sarah-

SparkleKitten 22-12-2010 12:06 AM

*super-snuggles Kitty* I love this ward so much

PsychoKitty2010 22-12-2010 12:17 AM

I know me too. Tis a place for me to escape when I have nowhere else to go. The sucky thing is the time differences. There's usually 5-6 hours in the evenings here where no one is on. I just sit on the couch in teh ward all day long when I can and wait for people. -snuggles more-

Hmm hope the snow melts before we leave this weekend. Don't want snow. Don't like it. Snow = cold. I am cold blooded I don't need more cold. Plus we had a white thanksgiving we don't need a white xmas. That's my philosophy.

Oh I went to an appointment yesterday with a service called Vocational Rehab here in the states that helps disabled people get work. We were both approved earlier this year but just had our first real appointment yesterday. They say they can help my husband, which is good, but the process is going to take forever. They closed my file, though. Said I need to wait until I am more mentally stable until I find a job. They had all the records of my psych evaluation and of my past attempts and everything. Funny how complete strangers know when I can't work but the people that are supposed to be closest to me think I'm perfectly fine to work. hmm just seems a bit odd to me. Forgot to mention that yesterday I think. I don't know. My memory hasn't been the best lately.. -confused look-

MammaMia 22-12-2010 12:17 AM

Some people make me laugh tehehe.

OMG how can I still be hungry? :( I've had rice & toast since I came home!!!

PsychoKitty2010 22-12-2010 12:21 AM

Awe :( -hugs helen and gives her all sorts of calorie free snacks that fill the tummy-

MammaMia 22-12-2010 12:25 AM

Aw thank you Kitty *hugs and then noms on food*

PsychoKitty2010 22-12-2010 12:28 AM

No problem. I have days like that as well where I just can't stop eating. They suck. I hate it when the hunger hits really late at night. -smiles-

SparkleKitten 22-12-2010 12:31 AM

*snaffles a nom*

Poor kitty, thats really sucky. After being with my counsellor today my fiance understands more about what I'm going through. I sat and thought about it today, it costs 3 per day to see her, as I only go once every 10 days and 1 hour is 30. Shocking really, glad my fiance pays, I can't afford 3 a month :/

*noms on snaffled nom*

I'm having a hungry day today... >:(

PsychoKitty2010 22-12-2010 12:38 AM

-snuggles sarah and helen-

I would never allow my husband to go to a counseling appointment with me. Mainly because that's like one of the only time I can get free from him. So ya. I'm just glad the college offers counseling otherwise I would be screwed. But one thing I worry about is whether or not I will be able to finish school. Cuz if I can't handle school I can't have counseling. Then I would have to go to some other counselor and I don't have insurance or anything. My grandma still thinks I should apply for disability she tells me almost every time I talk to her. I just don't know. -shrugs-

Oi...I'm bored. O.o

SparkleKitten 22-12-2010 12:40 AM

If it would help you medically then please do so Kitty.

My fiance took me initially because he knew I had something underlying he wanted to help with and it all came out over the past 6 months. Gives us a chance to bring up any issues we've had with each other with a trained professional so I don't mind. Plus he's comforting when I have to speak about something thats really hard to talk about.

PsychoKitty2010 22-12-2010 12:51 AM

Thats good, Sarah. glad your fiance can comfort you like that.

Cuteness wrapped in 10 minutes.

MammaMia 22-12-2010 12:59 AM

I'm worried about my parcels that I sent to my bestie, as they understandably couldn't guarantee it'll arrive tomorrow (well today), however I just checked it up online, seems it's being processed through the system. So fingers crossed that they can attempt delivery tomorrow. I want to know how Royal Mail works, god I'm sad =/

PsychoKitty2010 22-12-2010 01:03 AM

-hugs and cuddles helen- hopefully she will get the package tomorrow hun.

Cazki 22-12-2010 01:03 AM

Hi everyone :-)

SparkleKitten 22-12-2010 01:07 AM

Hey :)

So sleepy :( can't go to bed yet though :(

MammaMia 22-12-2010 01:12 AM

Fingers crossed Kitty. She's sending mine tomorrow (well it's today now lol).

Hi Ian, how you doing?

Sarah, why can't you go to sleep yet?

PsychoKitty2010 22-12-2010 01:27 AM

-crosses fingers-

Hi ian how you be?

Why can't you sleep, Sarah?

PsychoKitty2010 22-12-2010 01:28 AM

Great. Just great. My sister is going to ruin the holidays this year. Totally ruin them. Specially since xmas is being held at her house this year.

-sighs and curls up in the corner-

SparkleKitten 22-12-2010 01:53 AM

Hows she going to ruin them Kitty?

Not tired anymore, had to wait for the bathroom to be free, I got distracted by tv and now I'm not all that sleepy

PsychoKitty2010 22-12-2010 02:01 AM

Shes drinking again. Shes going to be drunk for xmas and shes hosting it..

SparkleKitten 22-12-2010 02:15 AM

Oh dear :( I hope you'll be okay hun

PsychoKitty2010 22-12-2010 02:22 AM

I cant handle her when she's drunk. So many bad scary memories. She has been drinking heavily for 15 years. She just got out of rehab at the beginning of this month (she's been in rehab like 5+ times).

I don't even remember her being sober ever... -rocks back and forth-

SparkleKitten 22-12-2010 02:24 AM

Oh no, that must be horrible darling, and I hate to leave you alone but I have to be up early my lovely. You stay safe darling, please. You're amazing *snuggles* x

PsychoKitty2010 22-12-2010 02:33 AM

-snuggles- night night

-gathers up a bunch of pillows and fuzzy blankies and squeezes them and rocks back and forth with them trying to calm down-

chocostashchick 22-12-2010 02:53 AM

*hugs to everybody*
It's been a while, and I have destructed.
Have been IP for 2 weeks. No end in sight. Hope lost. Going mad. This is the insanity apocalypse.

PsychoKitty2010 22-12-2010 03:02 AM

-hugs callie- hi I'm kitty. I'm sorry to hear that you are in hospital. :( What's going on?

PsychoKitty2010 22-12-2010 04:03 AM

hillo felicia -hugs- how you be?

misskitty112 22-12-2010 04:38 AM

I'm alright I guess. I have a headache and don't feel good.

PsychoKitty2010 22-12-2010 04:43 AM

Awe I sorry. -hands medicine to make headache go away and feel better- It sucks to be sick around the holidays. Makes things even more stressful. :( -hugs-

SoMuchMore 22-12-2010 05:20 AM

*hugs everyone* i feel so bad about being so distant here. its hard to be online when i'm at my parents house.

PsychoKitty2010 22-12-2010 05:36 AM

-hugs and snuggles laura-

PsychoKitty2010 22-12-2010 09:40 AM

hey mark how you be? -hugs-

Doikers 22-12-2010 09:44 AM

*Hugs Willow*
*Hugs Lia*
*Hugs Heather*
*Hugs Kitty*
*Hugs Sarah*
*Hugs Helen* I'm sorry your Sad , I hope that parcel arrives today .
*Hugs Ian*
*Hugs Callie*
*Hugs Felicia*
*Hugs Laura*

I'm Just up Kitty , yet to drink coffee , But the Post came at like just after 9 am this morning ! How are you?

I have to restart computer , BRB :)

MammaMia 22-12-2010 09:45 AM


Originally Posted by chocostashchick (Post 2619277)
*hugs to everybody*
It's been a while, and I have destructed.
Have been IP for 2 weeks. No end in sight. Hope lost. Going mad. This is the insanity apocalypse.

CALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII E *big major squishy hugs* Have often thought about you & wondered how you've been doing. I'm sorry you're struggling so much love but perhaps IP is the best place to help you right now?


Originally Posted by Fallinstar0317 (Post 2619327)
*hugs everyone* i feel so bad about being so distant here. its hard to be online when i'm at my parents house.

Laura, don't feel so bad. A lot of people are/will be going to family's and majority of us probably won't be online on Christmas Day or pop in very quickly. I know once I've gone to sleep, I won't be back on til Boxing Day sometime.

*hugs ward* Got a doctor's appointment yay. Just hope I can get everything discussed :S

PsychoKitty2010 22-12-2010 09:54 AM

-hugs helen-

I'm an emotional wreck. My sister is killin me with her choices. I know it's only a matter of time and she won't be around anymore. Everyone in the family knows it won't be long until she dies. But there's nothing any one of us can do. It'll be one of two things that causes her death. I won't list them because they could be triggering and I just...I can't handle it. I have already lost 2 siblings. I can't handle losing a 3rd. I really can't. I hit rock bottom after I found out about her returning to her bad choices. I realized xmas is going to be shot this year. My husband went to tickle me and I totally freaked out. I curled up into a ball and covered my head and squeezed my eyes shut and screamed. I have never freaked out that bad before. It's just all getting to me and I just can't handle it.

And I think I am pregnant. I still have to wait 2 weeks before I find out for sure but I am showing signs. -sighs- If I am pregnant, I won't be able to die. I already lost one baby...I couldn't stand losing another one. I kind of hope I am pregnant, but at the same time, I hope I'm not, because...I...I just don't want to live through losing another sibling!

-curls up on the bathroom floor with pillows and fuzzies-

Doikers 22-12-2010 09:56 AM

*Hugs Helen* I hope you have a decent Dr's appointment :)

I too think from friday up until the 28th I'll be sporadically on here too , I think most of us will .

PsychoKitty2010 22-12-2010 10:21 AM

Right...well it got quiet again. Mark you are the only one I still see on so I hope today goes well for you and that you are ok. -hugs- I'm all sorts of pissed off and emotional right now but I took my sleeping pill and am going to go to bed. Night all -hugs ward-

Oh and anyone feel free to PM me if you need/want to.

xxjuliexx 22-12-2010 10:24 AM

i is here

MammaMia 22-12-2010 11:28 AM

Well doctors went okay. Got 2 out of 3 things discussed =/

*hugs wardies*

Doikers 22-12-2010 11:51 AM

*Hugs Kitty goodnight*

*Waves to Owen*

*Hugs Helen* 2 out of 3 is pretty good :)

I was just walking in town and ran into my befriender Becky she had some free time so we went for coffee and chatted then chatted at her office :) She's nice and I'm feeling upbeat from my walk and running into Becky :)

one_step_closer 22-12-2010 12:50 PM

I just want to die :(

FlyingNy 22-12-2010 12:56 PM

*Hugs everyone*

Glad you're feeling alright at the moment Mark :)

What you excited about Helen?

*Waves to Owen* How are you?

Hope you sleep alright Kitty and that you feel a little better when you wake up.

How are you Laura?

Hello Callie. I don't know if we've met, I'm Lia. Sorry you're not doing too great right now, but Helen's right, you might be in the best place.

FlyingNy 22-12-2010 12:58 PM

What's the matter Lindsey? I certainly don't want you to die and neither does anyone here.

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