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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

PsychoKitty2010 20-12-2010 03:07 AM

-snuggles with heather- I'm sorry hun. Is there something you can take to help you get a good nights sleep so you can be well rested for the exam? I know how much anxiety those damn things can cause. I hope you do well on it. -smiles-

PsychoKitty2010 20-12-2010 03:22 AM

Will it ever get better? -ponders- I've been asking that question for 15 years now...haven't had any positive results. -sighs- I just want to give up..

misskitty112 20-12-2010 04:37 AM

*Hugs Heather* Good luck on your exam tomorrow! <3 you.

*hugs Kitty* I've been asking myself the same thing... for almost 15 years. I don't know an answer, I hope it does... for both of us.

So. damn. low.
I wanna sleep it away. can't.
*sigh*
*curls up in ward*
I'll be here for awhile it seems.

PsychoKitty2010 20-12-2010 04:43 AM

-hugs felicia- I sorry. I dont know what to say to make it better. Im low as well. Amara is here nagging at me. Tried walking to the library earlier, thinking it would help to get out. She followed me. She kept talking to me in the library, mocking me really. It was quite frustrating. -sighs- -curls up next to felicia-

misskitty112 20-12-2010 04:57 AM

I'm sorry, Kitty. Is there any way you could drown her out?

I'm thinking of suicide more strongly, like I don't want to get rid of my stuff when it gets here. And all that jazz. *Sigh*

PsychoKitty2010 20-12-2010 05:10 AM

-hugs felicia- unfortunately, I can't drown her out. She is everywhere, including in my mind. So even if I listen to music or watch a movie I can't focus on it because she overpowers everything. :(

And I know how you feel about suicide. I have what I need to succeed, but, I don't know. I know that I don't want to die around the holidays it would be harder on my family and stuff. But I'm seriously considering it...

I don't mean to sound like a hypocrite, but I don't want you to die. I know I haven't known you long but you seem like such a good person. Me...I'm not. I am not good at anything, cannot work, probably won't be able to finish school so I will have to be dependent on the state, and my husband and mom don't understand. I am not even good at helping people. I feel like a complete waste of space and time and everything. :(

misskitty112 20-12-2010 05:17 AM

No, Kitty, you aren't a waste of time and space. You're such a nice person, and you're so supportive. I wouldn't want you to die either. Everyone in this ward has impacted my life, and I love all of you. (And that is why I basically only post here). *hugs Kitty*

Oh, and I'm not really good at anything either, if it makes you feel better.

PsychoKitty2010 20-12-2010 05:44 AM

-hugs felicia back- you are a lot better at supporting than I am :S

PsychoKitty2010 20-12-2010 09:34 AM

Off to bed. Have to go to an appointment with the husband tomorrow, but will be on after. -hugs ward- hope everyone is doing well..

Doikers 20-12-2010 09:42 AM

*Hugs Sarah*
*Hugs Kitty* Don't listen to Amara Hun You're a lovely person :)
*Waves to Owen*
*Hugs Lia*
*Hugs Oliver*
*Hugs Louise*
*Hugs Nicole*I'm sorry you feel so low hun *squishes*
*Hugs Heather*
*Hugs Felicia* OH Man I would miss you if you Died , Please consider trying to get rid of your suicide stuff when it arrives hun :S

one_step_closer 20-12-2010 12:03 PM

*hugs everyone*

Doikers 20-12-2010 12:46 PM

*Hugs Lindsay* How are you?

My Dad and Sister came into town to go grocery shopping, so I went along to help , Oh My Days! ( Thanks Lia ) people are pushy and oblivious to others in the supermarket , some are polite but Wow! It was too crowded ,I got anxious enough to need to take a Diaz as soon as I got back , My dad had to drop me way down my road as it is inpassable in his car . To top it all I could feel a damp patch on my right leg where my phone was rubbing my leg so I fished out my phone and it had blood on it from where I Self Injured last night the rubbing had re-opened the wound a bit, thank goodness I am wearing black trousers , and to get the blood off my phone before I even thought I Licked it! Ugh that taste of blood , please don't get any more triggered today .....

FlyingNy 20-12-2010 02:07 PM

*Hugs Mark* I hate crowded places. It gets to a point where I want to puch everyone in the face, although they have as much right to be there as I do. Blood tastes gross. I for one, will never be a vampire. Try and focus on something that distracts/calms you. Or just hide your stuff so you're not as tempted. I threw one of my blades across the room weeks ago and I still don't have a clue where it is. I should fine that, it has blood on it. I like to say oh my days :) Since I can no longer blaspheme, I need something to say in situations where it's inappropriate to swear.

Doikers 20-12-2010 02:13 PM

I have lit some "Sunrise" Insence in the hope on creating and nice atmosphere , I have music on , CD just ended I'll go and put on a new one shortly . I could never be a vampire either , I wasn't thinking oh I'll lick it off , I just DID it without thinking about it , I think I'll start using "Oh my Days" I think it's neat although slipping on ice and Sh%t! comes out automatically . You should look for that blade , you wouldn't want to step on it by accident . Anyway , How are you hun? *Hugs*

FlyingNy 20-12-2010 02:58 PM

Sorry, I wasn't ignoring you, I was just doing other things with this open in the background as usual. I know I should, but it's somewhere amongst the huge pile of things at the end of my bed and it takes way too much effort. However, I've done hardly anything of use since last Tuesday so I might just do that.

I'm alright for now, you've set me in a productive mood so I may clean my room/look for my blade/clean it if I find it/do my coursework today :) I'm glad you're keeping yourself distracted. Each urge you even try and fight is a step in the right direcction.

Doikers 20-12-2010 02:59 PM

I've just wrapped My Dad's Presants for my Mum because he is unable to get up to my flat and they are here because I ordered them on his behalf to be delivered to me so My Mum wouldn't get suspicious about packages arriving at their home , I did my best but they are scruffy a bit , I'm no good at wrapping presants , I don't like doing that.

Doikers 20-12-2010 03:03 PM

Quote:

Each urge you even try and fight is a step in the right direcction.
This has set me in a determined mindset , Thanks Lia *Hugs* . I know you weren't ignoring me :) don't worry I was in my bedroom and still on here too .

misskitty112 20-12-2010 03:10 PM

*hugs ward*
I had a dream about a ward Christmas party at my house last night. It was interesting/funny/awesome.

Doikers 20-12-2010 03:19 PM

*Hugs Felicia* That sounds cool !!! How are you hun ?

Doikers 20-12-2010 03:22 PM

Back in , well an hour at the most I hope :)

FlyingNy 20-12-2010 03:34 PM

Hey Felicia *hugs* How are you?

Glad I was able to help Mark :) I am no good at wrapping either. It's always a disaster.

MammaMia 20-12-2010 03:35 PM

*cuddles everyone*

I have to go work soon. It's been snowing again!!! I think we're going to have a dead night boooooooo :(

misskitty112 20-12-2010 03:36 PM

I don't know how I am at the moment. It's an odd mix between low and not feeling. Eh.

Doikers 20-12-2010 03:59 PM

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Helen* I hope work go's okay for you :)

*Hugs Felicia* I'm sorry that you are feeling that way :(

misskitty112 20-12-2010 04:08 PM

It's okay. I'll get through it. I think my mind is just preparing me for the holidays. Have to numb myself up to deal with my mother and stepfamily, ya know?

FlyingNy 20-12-2010 04:12 PM

*Hugs Felicia* You'll be alright. You're stronger than you think. I thought I'd die when she left me, but I didn't. It's been 5 months and I'm alive.

*Hugs Helen* Try to have fun :)

Doikers 20-12-2010 04:16 PM

Yeah , I am a bit freaked out by the Holidays to put it mildly , when will I find the privacy to S.I. and keep it clean and secret? ugh I love my family but I'm not sure I want to spend that much time being forced to be merry and festive . We are going over my Sisters Boxing day which should be nice .

It's SO hard to know what to get a Muslim for Christmas , My Brother in law is a Muslim and I got him gardening tools and a Solitare game , some people have got him a Prayer mat and Prayer Beads , he has only been in the country since Last December 1st/2nd so this is his 2nd Christmas .

shadow13 20-12-2010 04:26 PM

Hi everyone, I'm back. I feel horrid. Like... Suicidal-and-self-harm-thoughts-are-coming-back-horrid. I'm going to update my page (it's in my signature). I just want you all to know how much I've missed you and love you all. *curls up in the corner*

Doikers 20-12-2010 04:32 PM

*Hugs Shad* I'm sorry you feel so awful:( , We are here for you :)

FlyingNy 20-12-2010 04:32 PM

*Hugs Shad* Try to do something to distract yourself from the urges, you're doing really well to have gone this long and think how happy you were when you went 2 months :)

shadow13 20-12-2010 04:33 PM

K, i'm all updated now. Can you see the torture I'm going through now?

Doikers 20-12-2010 04:39 PM

*Squishes Shad* You're SOOO close to 3 months , Please try and resist those urges, I know how hard and Horrible they are to live with but you can do it . you really can.

shadow13 20-12-2010 04:43 PM

I'm trying, I'm trying, I promise :)

shadow13 20-12-2010 04:43 PM

I've missed you all SO much! *hugs all round!*

Doikers 20-12-2010 04:57 PM

The Random quote on the home page was this , I just thought a lot of us could relate right now :)


"If we weren't all crazy we would go insane"

Jimmy Buffett

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misskitty112 20-12-2010 05:02 PM

I love Jimmy Buffett. That man has to be my idol.

So... my brother just texted me, brightened my day up. Judging from our text conversation though, the world just isn't ready to handle us on Christmas. haha.

Doikers 20-12-2010 05:05 PM

Heh Cool Felicia :P I don't know who Jimmy Buffet is but I like that quote , does he write books?

misskitty112 20-12-2010 05:15 PM

He's a singer. Sings mostly music you'd listen to when going to the beach. I know he's written a book.. maybe two?
I like him mostly for his music, and for the fact that he can fall under the category of professional beach bum... which is really what I'd like to do.

Doikers 20-12-2010 05:27 PM

Ohhh I'll look for a video on Youtube:)

Doikers 20-12-2010 05:33 PM

OMD!! I'm just listening to "Come Monday" And I am totally getting his greatest hits after the post is back to normal what with the season and weather . What are good albums of his Felicia? Do you like Neil Young and/or Creedence Clearwater Revival? He sort of reminds me of Creedence a bit :)

misskitty112 20-12-2010 05:38 PM

Come Monday is my favorite song.
All his albums are good, honestly. I can't pick a favorite.
I LOVE CCR. Never really listened to Neil Young though. Probably because mom didn't, but mom got me into Jimmy Buffett, starting with "man, I'm going to the beach. Jimmy Buffett time." evolving into when I wished I was at the beach, now he's just my "man, I despise life. Make me feel better." music. haha.

I am about to spend $102 on clothing for sorority functions. Stop me.

Doikers 20-12-2010 05:44 PM

$102 , make sure they're nice clothes Hun :)

misskitty112 20-12-2010 05:49 PM

*sigh* I really don't have that kind of money to spend right now.
I wrote down where I found everything, to see if I still want them when I have money/ after holidays.
I don't want to turn out like my past sorority endeavor, where I paid far over $2,000 in dues/fees alone, not counting the shirts I bought, the dresses I bought for formal functions, etc... and then I ended up getting kicked out.

Doikers 20-12-2010 05:53 PM

Maybe it's best to wait and see how you feel in the new year Felicia . Are you buying these clothes online? Shop around a bit when you feel you want them ? sorry if thats crap advice :S

Doikers 20-12-2010 05:59 PM

Going to eat My dinner now , Back shortly :)

misskitty112 20-12-2010 06:00 PM

yeah, I do a lot of online shopping. it's so convenient. It's also not a good idea, for a compulsive personality like me.
It's good advice, Mark. I do need to wait and see what the new year brings, especially since it's Christmas, then New Years, then my birthday. Geez... I'm gonna be all partied out soon. Oh, well...

Doikers 20-12-2010 06:14 PM

Ooooh you are compulsive too ? I have OCD which is no fun but Lithium really helps ,bizarely .

*Spots and hugs Crimson* How are you?

PoisonedApple 20-12-2010 06:15 PM

*hops in and hugs everyone*
Sorry but there were too many pages... I didn't read them all :S
How is everyone?

*Mark~ In my exhausted stupor this morning I forgot the books I was going to PM you about and hadn't had them written down, Sorry. I'll try again later to get them to you.

SparkleKitten 20-12-2010 06:16 PM

I have issues with compulsive shopping. I really need that seeing to :(

*cuddles ward*

Doikers 20-12-2010 06:25 PM

I'm well I'm not AS low Crimson as I have been but I still feel the urge, THAT urge *Sigh* . Thanks about your help with the books Crimson :) *Hugs* How are you feeling today?

*Hugs Sarah* How are you hun?


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