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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Doikers 16-12-2010 07:32 PM

*Hugs Lindsay* I'm sorry your "friend" was so mean to you. they had no right to make you feel crap *Squishes ya*

PsychoKitty2010 16-12-2010 07:34 PM

The only time I can cut is when my husband is not around, or passed out. So I end up cutting a lot at once. :/

I have to get going I have my counseling then some errands to run so not really sure how long I will be out. But I will return. Hopefully not everyone has left by the time I get back...

PM me if you need anything loves. -hugs everyone again- xx

Doikers 16-12-2010 07:41 PM

Should I watch a movie? , I'm kind of enjoying listening to Tori Amos and hanging out with you guys atm , But I have many many DVD's to watch, I bought them as ebay became one of my coping mechanisms and I've just recently gotten a hold over it , I've just ordered some lavender oil which is supposed to be calming , It's been entered into the will it arrive by Christmas or not? category :P

xxjuliexx 16-12-2010 07:52 PM

watch the scooby doo movie

Doikers 16-12-2010 07:59 PM

Hey Owen *Waves* I don't have the Scooby Doo Movie I'm afraid , I don't have a lot of "Nice" films , I really should buy some , I want Calamity Jane :)

Doikers 16-12-2010 08:10 PM

This is Fun , Cheesey but Fun


getting_by 16-12-2010 08:21 PM

Made me smile ^^^^ thanks :)

Doikers 16-12-2010 08:23 PM

Your welcome Roli *Hugs if okay?*
Your Sig , it's a quote from a song , and I want to say Sarah Mclaughlan or Sia but can you tell me which song , I know I have it somewhere .

How are you ? Welcome to the ward , I'm Mark :)

misskitty112 16-12-2010 08:27 PM

the song is My Skin by Natalie Merchant, Mark. It's one of my faves too. :)

*waves at Roli* Heyyy! I'm Felicia!

Oooh, must go meet my sorority sisters. haha. Love ya'll!

Doikers 16-12-2010 08:29 PM

Oh thanks Felicia :) Have a nice time :)

PoisonedApple 16-12-2010 08:30 PM

*waves* Hi Roli, I'm Crimson.
*hugs everyone* *waves to Owen*
Sorry for the total absence rather than the usual sporadic ones... My monitor was going all wonky and I had to have the IT staff replace it. It was going black but not going to sleep, just going out with the power on... *shrugs* this new monitor is weird... It's wider which is cool but it's taller even down all the way its not the same. It'll take getting used to... Ah well. At least I can do my work and get on here again.

Doikers 16-12-2010 08:43 PM

Yey! for your new monitor Crimson :)

SoMuchMore 16-12-2010 09:13 PM

*hugs mark* i like your video b/c i am from the windy city they speak of lol.

*hugs crimson* even if it is hard to get used to, i'm glad you got a new monitor.

*waves to roli* hi! i'm laura! *offers welcome cookies*

*waves to owen* how r u today? can i watch a movie with you? it will give me a good finals studying break.

*hugs felicia* hope you have a good time!

*hugs kitty* hope that counseling goes alright. I might be around later if you need to talk. Depends on how much studying i get done...

2 days until freedom. 3 weeks of nothing - no work or uni. Will have to get hustling on xmas shopping though. I havent even started that yet. I am not feeling as weird as last nigh, I dunno what was going on there really, just a mood i suppose. Hope everyone stays safe. Gotta go to my final now. then only 1 more tomorrow!

MammaMia 16-12-2010 10:15 PM

What.a.****.night :/

It was busy, the way I like it. Was on the tills, again the way I like it. Couple people knew about how ill I was with the migraine. However something went wrong, then kept making mistakes in rectifying it, to the point I couldn't cope, apologised to someone who had been helping, and burst into tears in the stockroom :/ Then had to be put on a break to compose myself and bumped into one of my mangers. So poured my heart out about stuff & she was really sweet. It's amazing the amount of painkillers I've been offered tonight, felt guilty turning everyone down but I can't take them without super gagging and ****. Nearly went home early but stuck it out til the end. Just.

*hugs everybody*

MammaMia 16-12-2010 10:33 PM

*curls up and rocks*

Sorry, just found something out. Pissed off. Want to do stuff ugh.

SparkleKitten 16-12-2010 10:37 PM

*slinks in and hides in a corner*

Today ****ing sucked for arguments. AGH! I don't know what I do so wrong!

PoisonedApple 16-12-2010 10:43 PM

*hugs Hels and Sarah*
Anything either of you want to talk about?

SparkleKitten 16-12-2010 10:46 PM

Just my fiance and I had another row today over virtually nothing, and he told me to either stop bugging him or leave the room. :( All solved now but I'm so fed up of arguing with everyone :(

In good news I bought a stunning dress for Christmas and New Year.

PoisonedApple 16-12-2010 10:49 PM

ooooo new dress! do we get to see it? :D
i have no suggestions on the argument front... i end up in arguments all the flipping time.

SparkleKitten 16-12-2010 10:54 PM

I'll be posting a picture. Is a nice respectable black dress which is really posh and perfectly fitting. Only bummer is its dry clean only, but I don't care, its beautiful. Everyone else who is going to my nans on Christmas day (who is female) is dressed in such short things (http://www.matalan.co.uk/fcp/product...ist=Dept,brand) is my sisters, and its even shorter on her than the model and she's 14. I dunno, there's just something more classy about a dress that ends below the knee to me

PoisonedApple 16-12-2010 11:02 PM

I agree. And that dress is very short!

PoisonedApple 16-12-2010 11:02 PM

*pokes* I spot you Ian!

SparkleKitten 16-12-2010 11:04 PM

I was shocked my mum bought that for her, she's 14 and it barely covers her ass.

I can't find a picture of my dress online, is so beautiful and I can't find it >:(



Edit - I FOUND IT! http://ak2.ostkcdn.com/images/products/L11433012.jpg with bolero made of bottom material and pattern. :D

Cazki 16-12-2010 11:07 PM

Hey everyone, iv not been around the ward as much.

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Mark*

Hugs Crimson

*Hugs Kitty*

*Hugs Lindsay*

PoisonedApple 16-12-2010 11:12 PM

I like yours Sarah :) It's pretty and classy.

MammaMia 16-12-2010 11:27 PM

I'm going to bed soon, so night guys xxx

PoisonedApple 16-12-2010 11:32 PM

G'Night Hels!

SparkleKitten 16-12-2010 11:44 PM

Night Helen *cuddles* :) xx

PsychoKitty2010 17-12-2010 12:00 AM

I'm back...meh... -hugs ward- -melts into the magical corner-

PsychoKitty2010 17-12-2010 12:13 AM

Anyone around?

PoisonedApple 17-12-2010 12:25 AM

kinda sorta, Kitty. What's up?

PsychoKitty2010 17-12-2010 01:00 AM

I just feel like ****. -shrugs- I called my gma earlier (my biological gma) to ask her a question before my counseling appointment. I told her I had to go because of my appointment and before I hung up with her she begged me not to cut. I hadn't said anything about going to cut or anything but she started begging and pleading for me not to. I felt so bad because I ended up cutting last night. I want to stop, but I don't have control anymore. I don't control the blade...the blade controls me...and so does she... (not my gma)

I don't really know I just...I hate myself so ****ing much...

how are you doing crimson?

PoisonedApple 17-12-2010 01:22 AM

*hugs Kitty and offers a plushie*
I'm... I dunno.
Sorry I don't think my heads on quite straight right now... was the appointment yesterday? or today?
Have you asked her why she is so angry(i dunno if that's the right word...) to see if you get an answer? Personally I find communication in that situation to work wonders on understanding if not getting back some control.

PoisonedApple 17-12-2010 01:29 AM

....damn... i just realized the time... I'm sorry Kitty I have to go :(

PsychoKitty2010 17-12-2010 01:30 AM

-hugs back and accepts the plushie and smiles- thanks

My counseling appointment was today. I can tell my counselor wants me in a hospital, but I can't be in one. Can't afford it, no insurance. I don't get to see her again for like a month.

And my gma isn't mad. I wrote her a letter telling her my story and what I was diagnosed with and stuff...told her I struggle with cutting and have attempted taking my own life. I told her that because I wanted to let her know that I was glad I got to meet her. If I had waited one more day before I sent that letter, I wouldn't have sent it. She just worries about me and stuff.

No one is really mad at me, actually. There's a girl I see and hear that controls me. She is the reason I dissociate. She makes me do things I don't want to do, like cut and stuff. She has been trying to get me to commit suicide a lot lately. She gives me options, you see...she says I have to either cut myself or die. I do want to die, but I don't want to yet because of the holidays and stuff. I don't know, though, she's been growing stronger. I just...I don't know anymore...

-squeezes the plushie- whats going on with you? -looks up at you from the corner-

PsychoKitty2010 17-12-2010 01:34 AM

mmmmk hope you are ok

misskitty112 17-12-2010 03:53 AM

I should be sleeping, ward. Should be.

PsychoKitty2010 17-12-2010 03:59 AM

-hugs felicia- how are you doing?

misskitty112 17-12-2010 04:33 AM

I'm alright. Nervous about my finals. Nervous about going home. Nervous about the snow...

Maybe I'm just a bundle of nerves.

PsychoKitty2010 17-12-2010 04:45 AM

-offers felicia a teddy to cuddle and snuggle with and sits next to her-

Yeah, I know how you feel. I hope you do well on your finals. I'm sure you will do fine. Is there anything you can do to settle the nerves a little?

Doikers 17-12-2010 09:29 AM

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Helen*Whats up hun?

*Hugs Kitty*

*Hugs Felicia*

*Hugs Ian*

How is everyone this snow-filled morning ?

PsychoKitty2010 17-12-2010 09:33 AM

-hugs mark back- how are you doing?

Doikers 17-12-2010 09:46 AM

I'm feeling okay, yet to be properly caffeineated though so only half awake :P . I'ts positivly white outside , I could hear something that sounded like someone shoveling snow whilst in bed but WOWSERS theres a lot .I wonder if my worker made it into town today:S . It's cold inside my flat so I put on the heating. *Hugs Kitty* How are you ?

PsychoKitty2010 17-12-2010 09:52 AM

glad you are doing ok. I am watching a chick flick: sisterhood of the traveling pants, and playing doctor on myself. Took my sleeping pill so I should be passing out soon after the movie (which only has like 30 minutes left of it). So glad I don't have plans tomorrow...means I will get to sleep in. Hopefully I will never wake up again.

I have realized that my diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder is wrong...I have schizophrenia, which makes me just like my biological mom and other biological family, and it sucks. royally. Can't talk to my doctor about it until January now...joy..

Doikers 17-12-2010 09:54 AM

*Hugs Kitty* Awwh Hun I'm sorry you feel horrible , I hope you sleep well and wake up tomorrow feeling a bit better , Do you have a date to meet your Dr?

Doikers 17-12-2010 09:54 AM

*Spots and Squishes JK* How are you JK?

PsychoKitty2010 17-12-2010 09:56 AM

January 3rd. And I don't see my counselor again until January 13th.

She just...she won't leave me alone. Music doesn't help...she is everywhere. I see and hear her everywhere I go and she won't go away. I don't know how much longer I can take this...

-hugs mark again-

jonikd 17-12-2010 10:01 AM

hey mark, I'm OK, still cutting and still a bit screwed up but generally ok. Can't believe Xmas is nearly here. We finally got an offer on our house that my ex and I accepted today, so hopefully heading for the end with him and can move on. Tough times ahead but at least the end is in sight and hopefully when things settle again I shall return to my SH free existance. I've had enough, I so know where you guys are coming from.

A good friend of mine who got angry every time I hurt myself is reading the book "Cutting" and is actually starting to understand a little, as much as someone who doesn't suffer from the affliction can ;)

You truly are amazing, you know that I hope. Some days I just jump on and read your support for others and feel better somehow. EVen though you suffer from similar stuff as all of us here you always take the time. Makes me feel a bit inadequate! but gives me hope and faith in the human race.

Keep looking after yourself, you're a special guy 'k?

*hugs*

Doikers 17-12-2010 10:03 AM

Could you make an emergency appointment for your Dr? Kitty , if she just won't go away , are you on meds? , maybe they need adjusting?

jonikd 17-12-2010 10:05 AM

*hugs Crimson, Helen, Owen, Laura, Kahlia, Nicole, Lindsay, April* all familiar faces for me here. I think about you all pretty much every day, even though I'm not physically here I feel eternally linked to you all.

*Leaves special hugs for Julie next time she pops in!*


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