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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Doikers 02-10-2010 03:46 PM

*Hugs Felicia* Good luck with your reading :) Your poor head!

*Hugs Lia* I'm feeling okay thanks Lia just a bit lacking in motivation.

misskitty112 02-10-2010 04:08 PM

Thanks, Mark. I need the luck on my reading... apparently my first assignment according to sparknotes is entirely allegorical alluding to the Catholic/Protestant split in 16th century England... which probably means without sparknotes, I'd get none of the allegory. Haha. I need straightforward stuff.

I hope you get your motivation soon! :)

SparkleKitten 02-10-2010 04:23 PM

So today I discovered my friends from highschool were only pretending to like me because my problems were amusing to them. I've one friend from the group we had left, and I know she'd never do anything like that but I'm beginning to worry that most people keep me around just to mock me when I confide in them about my worries. :(

Doikers 02-10-2010 05:17 PM

*Hugs Sarah*It suck that your so called friend went behind your back like that but it's good to have that other friend isn't it?

*Hugs Felicia* Wow it sounds like straightforward is the way to go :) Whats is a sparknote? I never went to uni , is it a uni thing?

shadowedsoul 02-10-2010 05:23 PM

Cuddles all. Erm today being really crap, feel like I'm dying right now, hopefully when I get home and I drug myself up I will start to feel human again, right now everthings an effort. Curls up.

misskitty112 02-10-2010 05:23 PM

Sparknotes is a website and they also make books that explains all the symbolism, plot lines, characters, etc of all the complicated literature they make us read in uni. Haha, it was the ONLY way I understood Chaucer, cause they'll put Middle/Old English into Modern English. It's super cool.

Doikers 02-10-2010 05:44 PM

Thanks for telling me Felicia :)


hopefully when I get home and I drug myself up I will start to feel human again
You mean you are due Meds Jill ? I am concerned for you.

shadowedsoul 02-10-2010 06:30 PM

Hugs mark don't worry. took meds this morning that are ment to stop me feeling the way I'm right now, but for some messedup reason it hasn't worked today. Being feeling very crapy all day

MammaMia 02-10-2010 06:31 PM

*hugs all*

Doikers 02-10-2010 06:42 PM

*Hugs Jill* Have you any meds you can take to make you feel better? Maybe put on a nice Movie or play some music?

*Hugs Helen* How are you feeling this evening?

one_step_closer 02-10-2010 07:04 PM

I can't do this. I just can't do this.

Doikers 02-10-2010 07:14 PM

*Hugs Lindsay* Whats the matter?

shadowedsoul 02-10-2010 07:26 PM

damn it i cant drug myself up as i just being told that i taken all i can for one day.erm half tempted to just do it anyway. sorry being a whiney git. curls up. =[

Doikers 02-10-2010 07:43 PM

Hmmm Please be safe Jill :S

shadowedsoul 02-10-2010 07:46 PM

sorry shouldnt have said that, it just how im feeling right now. sorry mark

MammaMia 02-10-2010 07:51 PM

Mark, I feel pretty excited & tired LOL.
Ugh eye test tomorrow, hate them, make me want to cry =/

one_step_closer 02-10-2010 08:04 PM

I just feel so low and don't think I can cope with my emotions any more. I'm tired of life and of only living for my brother. I wish that he wasn't around so that I could die.

Helen, what is it that you hate about eye tests? Is there anything that would make it easier for you?

How are you, Mark?

Scarletdreamer 02-10-2010 08:16 PM

I can't do this either. It's always one thing or another & now I just want to curl up and hide. Forever. I don't want to go to job training (which starts on our second anniversary, damn it all!!), I don't want to "enter the working world," I don't want to have to dress up for all those days... whinge whinge whinge, I'm pathetic, aren't I? I certainly think so. Ugh. I wish I could off myself and just be done, with all of it.


Doikers 02-10-2010 08:32 PM

Ohhh Helen I hope your eye apointment goes okay for you , just think , once it's done it's one less thing until your bestie :)

*Hugs Lindsay* I'm sorry you feel so low *Extra Hug* You CAN get through this , I really beleive you can :)

*Hugs April* You're not pathetic at all , it's not good timing being on you guys anniversary but I'm sure you'll knock them dead :)

Scarletdreamer 02-10-2010 08:37 PM

I hope so, Mark. It's just gonna bite, being away from Jarrod for 5 days, possibly no internet access, having to share a room with someone I've never met before, etc., etc., etc. :( I'm not looking forward to it at all - plus, having my supervisors both stressing to me how difficult and emotionally taxing this training is!!! So yeah. I am really struggling.

Plus today I am just feeling low, have been reading articles that friends of mine on Facebook have been putting up about the LGBT suicides in the States (there have been 5 or 6 in the past month)... and hearing people in the comments section of the articles blaming it on Christianity. :( Whatever. I do NOT want to get into a religion debate on here... but... I don't know. I somehow feel like it's MY fault and like I've got to prove myself to people now, that I'm not the "Christian" that is so stereotypical now (the back-stabbing, hypocritical, hateful, judgmental, everyone's-wrong-except-me-and-my-friends, blah blah blah, etc., etc., etc. one). Plus just reading about the suicides triggers me in a quiet, detached sense. I don't even know how to explain it. :(

*hides in the warren where no one can find her* :'(

Doikers 02-10-2010 08:48 PM

*Finds April all squirriled away and Squishes* April , You are in NO way responsible for anyone elses suicide , I don't mean to sound preachy but perhap you should not look at those facebook articles if you are in a easily triggered state . Please stay safe :)

shadowedsoul 02-10-2010 09:45 PM

curls up

misskitty112 02-10-2010 09:53 PM

*hugs Jill*

Scarletdreamer 02-10-2010 11:54 PM

*hides & cries softly* :'(

risenfromperdition 03-10-2010 03:50 AM

*sits with april*<3

*curls up in corner*

FlyingNy 03-10-2010 09:25 AM

Wow, can't believe the lack of activity. I've been awake since 5am herding sheep through the high street. Don't ask. I volunteered before I knew what I was agreeing to.

How's everyone today?

*Hugs April , Jill and Heather* I hope the three of you are feeling better this morning.

*Hugs Felicia* How are you?

And everyone else?

xxjuliexx 03-10-2010 10:55 AM

-curls up in my sleeping bag yawning-

FlyingNy 03-10-2010 11:05 AM

Hey Julie. You alright?

Doikers 03-10-2010 11:27 AM

*Hugs Jill*

*Hugs Lia*Sheep eh ?

*Hugs Heather*

*Waves to Owen*

*Hugs April*

*Hugs Felicia*

one_step_closer 03-10-2010 11:39 AM

Hello everyone.

FlyingNy 03-10-2010 11:49 AM

Yay! People.

*Hugs Lindsey and Mark* How are you both?

one_step_closer 03-10-2010 11:51 AM

I'm a bit low, but i'm meeting with my brother later so hopefully that will keep me distracted.

How are you, Lia?

FlyingNy 03-10-2010 11:55 AM

Hopefully that will be fun Lindsey, try and stay distracted between those times, I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself. Better simply since you asked that. I was fading into the background being so invisible.

Just randomly had a thought. There must be something wrong with me. I know people grieve in different ways, but my nan died over a year ago, and I obviously cried a few times, but I never really felt the emotions and didn't go through any of the stages. It makes me wonder if I'm just as heartless as everyone else thinks me to be.

Doikers 03-10-2010 12:05 PM

*Hugs Lia* I'm okay , totally motivationless , I just lay in bed listening to the rain until gone 11am , I NEED to pay my water bill at the co-op today. Then I NEED to bath , and I have the Housing benefits assesment person comeing between 9.30am and 1pm tomorrow so I'm anxious about that and I want to sleep okay tonight and be Awake when they come , I wish they gave a more specific time :S.

Lia , I really don't beleive that you are heartless , Like you said everyone greives differently , chances are you are still greiveing and will go through it all in your own time .

*Hugs Lindsay* Enjoy your time with your Brother :)

one_step_closer 03-10-2010 12:06 PM

Everyone grieves differently and I don't really believe in stages because of that. Something so personal can't be put into stages. You're probably still grieving now, in your own way.

FlyingNy 03-10-2010 12:18 PM

*Hugs Mark* Hope you manage to get a few things done today.

What time are you meeting your brother Lindsey?

I guess so, it just feels as if I never did grieve for her, or anyone else. I don't understand it, I should have felt something more than that, everyone else did. People wondered why I didn't talk about it, they called me an Ice Queen, but the truth was there was nothing to tell. It's always like this, I am disconnected from my emotions, I feel things, but not as strongly as I should given the circumstance, but it still effects me as if I were feeling everything if that makes sense?

Doikers 03-10-2010 12:30 PM

That makes sense Lia yes, I don't beleive you should feel bad about it though , you have proven time and again that you care about people in this ward .

Scarletdreamer 03-10-2010 12:36 PM

Lia, honey, I totally hear you on the grieving thing. :( All of my grandparents have died, one way or another, since 2001 (my grammy's suicide started the "trend"...). Sorry, I think that if you are disconnected from emotions (those ones [grief] at least), I must be moreso... and I do feel like a freak for it. But I can't really talk about it to anyone except Jarrod because if I mention it to my mum she gets that pinched up face that means "I don't want to talk about this, really really don't!!" ... but anyway, I think I talk about it way too lightly, maybe to protect myself from feeling anything about it? I don't know. I mean, look at what "came out of my fingers" just up there ^^ "my grammy's suicide started the 'trend'" ... yeah... that really sounds like I'm grieving, eh? Maybe we're Ice Queens together. :-X *cuddles*

Mark, sounds like a busy next few days for you. *hugs* Thanks for commenting on my LJ. :) How are you feeling? just "okay"? (that's a synonym for "fine," as Heather pointed out to me :P)

Lindsay, I agree with you, there "shouldn't" really be stages to grieving... I mean, I guess there could be, in a VERY generalized way, but everyone does go about it differently. *hugs*

Just got up, and I'm not talking to Jarrod. :P He tried to get me to at least vocalize - and then he'd "win" :P - by tickling me and stuff... haha... but I stayed quiet!!! Woohoo. ;) It's kind of a joking bet on his part and it's me being stubborn... but oh well. Hee.

Found out that my bestie probably won't be able to come over because she's "going on a hike." WTH?? I really, really wanted to see her. :'( And this is the only time she'll be here in the next 2 weeks... so... yeah. Really wanted to spend some time with her and now she's saying that that probably won't happen. If she's going on a hike with her fiancÚ I am going to be PISSED because while yes, she does have the right/needs to spend time with him... she talks with him every night... and the only time we've been in touch in TWO WEEKS was last night, 3 texts. :'(

Sorry, just really feeling left out & lonely. :'( I need my girl-time, and I don't really get it from being online. Sorry for being pathetic...

*hides in a hole where no one can find her and cries some more*

FlyingNy 03-10-2010 12:48 PM

*Hugs April* I do that. I joke about things and talk about them so casually, even if they are tearing me apart inside. I'm sorry about your bestie, can't she go on the hike some other time? I know how that feels to be let down, my friends are always doing it to me and I wouldn't mind, if only they said they were sorry. I'm glad I'm not the only one like I am on the ward, but I don't think either of us are Ice Queens really, I just can't show my feelings, but I do have them. More than anyone will ever know. You clearly do too and you're always so kind to people here. *Hugs*

xxjuliexx 03-10-2010 01:34 PM

i wishes we could sleep

Doikers 03-10-2010 01:38 PM

Why can't you sleep Owen ?

FlyingNy 03-10-2010 02:04 PM

What's the matter Owen?

FlyingNy 03-10-2010 02:58 PM

*Flings box across ward with a scream*

shadowedsoul 03-10-2010 03:08 PM

Lia what's up cuddles. Curls up, I'm feeling utter crap again. Very triggered and pissed off

FlyingNy 03-10-2010 03:10 PM

Nothing...it's fine.

*Hugs Jill* Do you know what it is that triggered you? Please try and stay safe honey.

Doikers 03-10-2010 03:16 PM

*Hugs Lia* are you okay?

*Hugs Jill* Whats pissed you off? , like Lia said , try and stay safe.

FlyingNy 03-10-2010 03:29 PM

Yeah, like I said, I'm fine.

misskitty112 03-10-2010 04:10 PM

*Hugs Mark*
*Hugs Lia*

Everyone is abadoning me. Everyone.

FlyingNy 03-10-2010 04:21 PM

I'm not abandoning you Felicia. What's happened? *Hugs*

Doikers 03-10-2010 04:25 PM

*Hugs Felicia* Whats going on Felicia?

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