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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

shadowedsoul 30-08-2010 11:03 PM

Huggles all, taz and lia, not doing great world war 3 about to kick off in my rl, all because of one person actions, and because one again sh can't ingage her brain before she speaks. Adfadf hahahahaha. Being thinking about this alot, if i hurt myself and it got to the point were it was really bad, wounder if i would panic or just be calm and peaceful. Sorry really messed up thought. Sorry.=(

Scarletdreamer 30-08-2010 11:25 PM

I've got so much going on in my brain that I just want to die. I really do. And I'm totally off my Abilify and I don't want to fill the script because it is just for 10mg and wasn't doing diddly-squat for my moods/psychoses. I can turn one of my psychoses off and on (the "white noise") - anyone have any idea what that may mean? it's rather odd. Like if I want to hear it, I can hear it... but if I don't, I can switch it off. It's really peculiar.

And I feel quite shitty especially since I just wrote in my journal all about my family and how they just don't get me and never will. My therapist and I talked a lot about them/me today and it was quite... well, enlightening and weird. I don't know. I really do need to update my r/v but haven't gotten around to that yet...

Oh and Laura, you are far from useless <3
Heather, not fat!!!! :)
Taz, what kind of music do you like?
Lia, what was going on last night? :-/ Worried about you, hon.

Sorry such random and stupid responses but ohey, they'll work for now...

MammaMia 30-08-2010 11:31 PM

*cuddles April tightly*

Scarletdreamer 30-08-2010 11:33 PM

*cuddles Hels back* How are you, hon??

*glomps Oliver* How are you?? did you go to the pride party thingamajigger? (sorry, can't remember the exact name of it :o)

So.****ing.over.this. :crying:

taz35 30-08-2010 11:38 PM

*gives Hels a cookie* Thanks for correcting me :) Obvious brain lapse while typing... the letters all start to look the same after a while =/

*hugs Lia* Glad to see you seem to be doing better today. I was worried too :/

*hugs Jill* Here's hoping WW3 doesn't happen too badly <33

*hugs April tightly* I have no advice for the psychoses unfortunately =/ Maybe it's a good thing you can turn it on and off at will?

MammaMia 30-08-2010 11:41 PM

April, *hugs tightly* I'm bit low & quite worried. I've not heard anything from my bestie's gran today. Not like her at all :/ Just hope everything's okay :'( My bestie's friend is definitely on because I phoned to see (but hung up quickly). You won't always feel this bad darling =[

Taz, it's okay sweets. *cuddles*

taz35 30-08-2010 11:43 PM

*cuddles Hels* I'm really hoping your bestie's fine, although if she's still in the hospital, keep in mind she's under the best possible care. I would think they'd inform you if she took a turn for the worse though? :S Just throwing it out there, I could be wrong.

FlyingNy 30-08-2010 11:48 PM

April, please don't say that. I know how you feel, but it gets better in time (sorry if Leona Lewis is now singing in your head. You can borrow my knife to stab her if you wish). I can talk to the people involved now without feeling exposed and naked. You may come to fogive your sister in time too. I'm sure she wouldn't have done it if she had known how much it was going to hurt you. She probably convinced herself it was the best thing to do. Please stay safe. *Hugs.*

You alright Taz?

I'm OK. I wasn't on drugs as I feel I may have come across last night. I FELT like I was, kinda floaty and happy, but not happy at the same time. It was like I wasn't really controlling what I was saying and was coming out with the most random things. I didn't feel like me, and even my friend Ellis said I was different, although I was having a normal conversation with her. Then I got angry, then I was depressed, then just felt normalish again. This is why I think I have some form of bipolar disorder. Or something. I don't think I'm 'normal' at any rate.

Hope everyone else is OK.

Helen, have you tried getting in touch with her gran yourself? I'm sure she would have told you if anything serious had happened. *Hugs.*


taz35 30-08-2010 11:56 PM

Nooo. Cant explain it. Mind is going haywire. This is insanity at its finest haha, wouldn't that make a great catch phrase.

*hugs Lia*

Kahlia1981 30-08-2010 11:59 PM

*cuddles all*

Sorry to hear so many are struggling. Wish I could offer more than *hugs*.

MammaMia 31-08-2010 12:00 AM

Taz, she is still in hospital and I suspect she's still in the induced coma :/ If she'd taken a turn for worse, I'm sure I would have been informed by now.

Lia, I've texted her twice today and no answer at all :( I texted my bestie's phone because she has it whilst my bestie's in the clinic/hospital.

On a different note. Now it's 12am (here) my last od/suicide attempt was a whole year ago. Should be proud really...(also my other bestie is home today :D)

taz35 31-08-2010 12:00 AM

*hugs Kahlia* How are YOU doing?

*hugs Hels* That's great :D Congrats on the one year!

MammaMia 31-08-2010 12:02 AM

*hugs Taz* Thanks honey :)

shadowedsoul 31-08-2010 12:09 AM

Cuddles all, taz would be happier if I didn't happpen in the first place,all because of someones stuiped actions. Really want to scream at this person, just please engage your brain before you speak, this is your mum your talking about, ****sake. Adfadfadf.hahahahaha can I just die now please. Hahahaha. Curls up under the blanket again and hides.

FlyingNy 31-08-2010 12:12 AM

*hugs Jill* I'm sorry you're struggling so much right now. Without knowing what really happened, I can't give much advice, but you're always welcome here as you know, and you can PM me too if you like.

I'm sure you would have done Helen. Maybe her nan lost her phone.


MammaMia 31-08-2010 12:12 AM

Perhaps you're right Lia, who knows...

taz35 31-08-2010 12:37 AM

*cuddles Hels* You're welcome :) There's a ton of reasons why she might not have contacted you yet. Try not to worry too much, although I know that can be hard.

*hugs Jill* That's true, and yes - the world would be better if people used their brains before talking, but sadly it doesn't work like that. I hope you stay safe hun <33

*hugs Lia*

FlyingNy 31-08-2010 12:39 AM

Of course I'm right, I always am :) *Hugs*

MammaMia 31-08-2010 12:43 AM

I'm trying not to worry but it's been over 24 hours since she last got in contact :/ We've had few occasions before now where she's taken til quite late in the day (9/10/11pm) to get in contact and I was worried. But never THIS long and last time sometime took this long to get in touch with me about my bestie was a few months back and she wasn't well then..Hopefully she'll text me in the morning if not through the night (it's nearly 1am now)

Kahlia1981 31-08-2010 01:02 AM

*hugs Hels* - So damn proud of you girl. *throws confetti*

MammaMia 31-08-2010 01:06 AM

Thanks Kahlia *hugs back*

FlyingNy 31-08-2010 01:06 AM

It's 1am here too. Like you said, I'm sure she would have told you by now if something had happened. Stay strong :)

There's not room for both me and the pain in this body. One of us has gotta go.

MammaMia 31-08-2010 01:07 AM

Lia, I'm trying to stay strong :] Going to attempt sleep soon.

Why you in pain hun?

shadowedsoul 31-08-2010 01:13 AM

Hmm I can't do this anymore. sorry I'm sorry

FlyingNy 31-08-2010 01:15 AM

For many reasons. Lol, that wasn't vague at all.

Oh boy. Mainly grief. On top of everything, I can't handle that. It's pushed me to the edge. Partly people hurting me. Others hurting where I can't help. Fear. Of everything. Things that hide in the closet. This wasn't a lot of use, but I just...can't. Sorry.

Hope you're alright Helen. *Hugs*

FlyingNy 31-08-2010 01:16 AM

Jill, yes you can. Please try and resist those urges. It'll pass, in time it gets better. I don't know when, but people say it does. Please don't do anything stupid Jill. *Hugs tightly*

MammaMia 31-08-2010 01:18 AM

*hugs Lia* I'm sorry you're in so much pain though. It'll get better soon. I'm ok, just keep coughing & worrying >.< Plus despite what I've achieved (the 1 year since an od/attempted suicide considering everything I've been through these past 12 months & more), I actually feel like a big failure for some reason. Usually I know why....

*hugs Jill* Keep safe darling.

shadowedsoul 31-08-2010 01:37 AM

Thanks lia, and helen. Truth is though I'm not sure I want to. Sorry I know that unfair and stuiped thing to say. But it's how I'm feeling tonight. Sorry.

Scarletdreamer 31-08-2010 01:39 AM

I feel so... left out.

I don't know why.

I also feel like a failure.

And my parents are totally distant from me now. Because of me. It's all in my head, all in my head, yes, insanity at its finest right here and right now!!!

So... ****ed up. I am so angry right now.

Sorry if this makes no sense. It's been so stressful, these past 4 days...


MammaMia 31-08-2010 01:57 AM

*cuddles Jill and April tightly* Sorry I have no words =[

anarchistl0ve 31-08-2010 02:01 AM

Mark if the card has not been sent yet can you sign it for me with a <3 after me name.

I wanna cut soo bad. :( i just hate me. I have 3 days to fully clean the house before some friends come for the weekend, no help from the hubby cause he works. FML

Kahlia1981 31-08-2010 04:51 AM

*huggles everybody*

I want to run for the hills. I think my housemate is going to try and make me eat ... he's starting to ask when the last time I ate was and I'm trying to make it a joke so he'll forget about it but I don't think he's going to. I wish he'd just drop it and leave it alone. Sorry, just really not coping with it right now. Stressing so badly.

anarchistl0ve 31-08-2010 05:43 AM

*hugs* seems we all are really low.

Kahlia1981 31-08-2010 05:49 AM

*huggles all*

Becca, I have to agree, it really does look that way.
So sorry we all are struggling right now.
Wish I could make it easier for all of us somehow. :crying:

MammaMia 31-08-2010 08:35 AM

*hugs the ward*

I'm poorly >.< You know I mentioned that cough last night? It's really bad, almost as bad as my Mum's. God my chest is really sore and my throat is rough as sandpaper lol. Typical that both of should get a bad cough & have no medicine :/ I just hope it doesn't get so bad that I'm coughing all through the college thing on Thursday & my interview :/

MedicAsh 31-08-2010 08:59 AM

*sneaks into the ward and hides in the corner*

I am kinda struggling lately and I don't know why! I haven't felt like this in a long time. So now I am kicking myself, because I thought this was over! I thought that going as long as I have without doing anything, that it was all going to be OK. I am so mad at myself for feeling like this. I shouldn't be because things in life are going good. I guess I just don't understand this. :crying:

Doikers 31-08-2010 09:03 AM

*Hugs Helen* Congratulations on one whole year since your last OD !!! Way to go you :-)

*Hugs Becca* I'll put your name on the card :)

*Hugs Jill*

*Hugs Taz*

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs April*

*Hugs Kahlia*

*Hugs Crimson*

I'm sorry so many of us are having a tough time , Over 2 whole pages since I went to bed so I won't attempt individual in case I miss people , sorry , I just hope everyone has a brighter day today :)

Doikers 31-08-2010 09:05 AM

Hi Ashley *Waves*

MammaMia 31-08-2010 09:05 AM

*hugs Mark* Thank you :)

Hi Ashley *waves*

MedicAsh 31-08-2010 09:06 AM

Hi Doikers *waves*

MedicAsh 31-08-2010 09:06 AM

hi mama mia *waves*

flutterby butterfly 31-08-2010 10:56 AM

*check in*

MedicAsh 31-08-2010 10:57 AM

Hi unicorn *waves*

Doikers 31-08-2010 12:06 PM

Hey Kaytee :) I looked at your profile . The words "Take my hand and we'll make it I swear" are from a song I think but I know I have it in my CD collection but can't put my finger on it , what's it from please?

Aside from that ,heh, how are you?

FlyingNy 31-08-2010 12:07 PM

Hi Mara. I'm Lia. How are you?
Congratz on the two years Ashley!

~Kaytee~ 31-08-2010 12:09 PM

Hi guys, I'm sorry for not popping in more often.. :(

*sends hugs to everyone* and I'm sorry for lack of replies =[

~Kaytee~ 31-08-2010 12:12 PM

HI mark :) Sorry, didn't see your post. I actually wouldn't have a clue lmao. I found the picture online and I liked it.. haha.. I'm not the best tbh. How are you going?

*waves to Lia*

eta- just did a quick google search.. does bon jovi - "living on a prayer" sound familiar? lol

Doikers 31-08-2010 12:21 PM

Bon Jovi ! Of course , Thanks :) I'm sorry you're not feeling the greatest Kaytee :( *Hugs*

*Hugs Lia* How are you this lunchtime?

I'm anxious of my appointments this afternoon . Hopefully I'll find more out about going inpatient for S.I. treatment from my nurse .Also find out about possible Lithium Toxicity :S

~Kaytee~ 31-08-2010 12:27 PM

Hehe, no worries :) Gotta love good old google ;-) *hugs back* thanks.

I hope the appointments go well :/ will be thinking of you *huggles*

MedicAsh 31-08-2010 12:30 PM

Thanks! I just hope I dont screw it up.

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