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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

MammaMia 04-08-2010 01:51 PM

It's not morning here April =P It's nearly 2pm. I'm low, exhausted, suicide thoughts as ****ing always YIPPIE. Doesn't look like I'm seeing my friend, so have my best friend come on (and wake) earlier than usual...for nothing & now I have to wait for god knows how long again to talk to her properly :'( Texting aint the same.

Don't be jealous Jess, it sucks.

Scarletdreamer 04-08-2010 03:34 PM

Sorry about getting the time wrong, Hels. It's morning here. :-X Still. Hah. Only 10:30am. So anyway, am sorry you're feeling so low. :( Wish I could do something to help...

Jess, hopefully the parting with the blades will go okay... just make sure that you have some healthy coping skills in place so you can rely on those once your blades are gone, okay? so that way you won't be buying/getting new blades. I hope that makes sense. *hugs*

Just spent some time with my parents. I played cello & viola for them and they really liked it, just wish that I felt more comfortable playing around them. I mean, I can play my instruments around my friends all I like and I feel fine, but when it comes to my parents, I get really shy. :( It sucks. I think it might be because 1) I am not so certain of my parents' love for me and 2) I want to make the best impression possible & not mess up in any way in front of them. :-X Stupid me, I know.

Need to get those PMs out... sorry... :(

*hides in the warren and cries quietly*

Scarletdreamer 04-08-2010 03:47 PM

updated my r/v.......... :(

MammaMia 04-08-2010 04:02 PM

*cuddles and hides with April*

Scarletdreamer 04-08-2010 04:12 PM

*cuddles Hels and curls up in a corner with her journal and a book*

I... don't even know.

Felicia, sent you a PM.

MammaMia 04-08-2010 04:30 PM

*curls up* So over this.

Scarletdreamer 04-08-2010 04:35 PM

*holds Hels gently* I understand, sweetie... :( I'm so over everything that's going on with me too. It really sucks... but we'll get through it.

MammaMia 04-08-2010 04:43 PM

*cuddles April* It really does suck.

shadowedsoul 04-08-2010 05:44 PM

Huggles everbody. This is pointless don't know why I'm even trying anymore, there is no point.

misskitty112 04-08-2010 05:49 PM

Shadowedsoul, what's going on?
*hugs April and Hels*

I'm super triggered in every way possible, this should be a fun day. =/

Scarletdreamer 04-08-2010 06:36 PM

Bloody hell, why can't there be any jobs in the area that I can do?!?! My parents are INSISTENT that I get a job, but I can't find ANY online that look decent and at which I would be competent... it's so infuriating!!! :crying:

I feel so stupid. And exhausted. But if I take a nap, then Jarrod will get frustrated with me. He always does. He doesn't understand how ****ing tired I can be even with a full night's sleep. He just doesn't GET it. So no naps for me as I really don't want to aggravate him... but... honestly? I just want to sleep. :crying:

Make it stopppp........................

MammaMia 04-08-2010 06:39 PM

I know the feeling April, struggling to get a job aswell. There are jobs I can do, just can't seem to get them =[ *cuddles tight*

Scarletdreamer 04-08-2010 06:47 PM

*cuddles Hels* Yeah... it's so frustrating. :( I can't even FIND a job that I'd like, though, I mean, there's sales associate jobs but I think I would SUCK at that as I'm really not a people person... and I don't know how to hunt for jobs with animals... I don't know. It's just infuriating!!!!!! >:(

*hides in the warren, rocks, & cries*

shadowedsoul 04-08-2010 07:21 PM

Curls up and cries just being told upsetting news that a little hard to take. Fu*k why is life so unfair. Cries and rocks.

Doikers 04-08-2010 07:43 PM

*Hugs Jill* Whats up Jill?

nicole94 04-08-2010 08:32 PM

i am actually going to KILL my sister. i mean it!

Doikers 04-08-2010 08:37 PM

Why? Whats she done ?:S you okay?

Scarletdreamer 04-08-2010 08:43 PM

Nicole, hon, don't say that. :( It could get you in a lot of trouble, somehow, or at least that's always why I've tried to avoid saying things like that. What's happened?? *hugs*

Jill, love, what's up? *cuddles*

*spies Mark & Felicia & glomps* :D

I'm really not feeling well mentally. Really low. I don't know why either, stupid bipolar and no Tegretol and just stupid life. I really need to just quit.


nicole94 04-08-2010 08:56 PM

i've been out all day with DBT group, then i come home, she asks me if im gonna empty half the dishwasher, i say in a minuit, and she just started hitting me! i HATE her!

MammaMia 04-08-2010 08:57 PM

*cuddles everyone*

April, I'm still awake...so far :P

MammaMia 04-08-2010 08:57 PM


Originally Posted by nicole94 (Post 2432565)
i've been out all day with DBT group, then i come home, she asks me if im gonna empty half the dishwasher, i say in a minuit, and she just started hitting me! i HATE her!

That sucks babe, but don't do anything too drastic babe. She's obviously expressing her emotions in the wrong way..

nicole94 04-08-2010 09:02 PM

i wont helen, as usual i just hurt myself instead of every-****ing-one else thats also hurting me. just let them walk all over me!

Scarletdreamer 04-08-2010 09:17 PM

*wanders in and curls up in the corner, crying quietly as she has so much lately*

shadowedsoul 04-08-2010 09:17 PM

Cuddles everybody. Hmm just my messed up life, the **** is deff going to the fan. screw everthing just want to hurt myself this is just to much.sorry I'm sorry

MammaMia 04-08-2010 09:30 PM

Try not to hurt yourself Nicole

*cuddles all*

nicole94 04-08-2010 09:32 PM

bit late for that now, but im trying very hard not to do anything worse than just cut.

MammaMia 04-08-2010 09:40 PM

Please do...*cuddles*

I spy Mark & Laura

Doikers 04-08-2010 09:40 PM

*Hugs Nicole* Try not to cut any worse , and look after the cut well, (Keep it clean) stating the obvious but worth mentioning I hope :S

*Hugs April*

*Hugs Helen*

nicole94 04-08-2010 09:45 PM

i dont think i can keep myself alive much longer guys. i cant handle life anymore, i know what ive just done and i know that vanessa probably does like me but i got so paranoid i just pushed away a really good friend :(

MammaMia 04-08-2010 09:47 PM

We all push away friends, the true ones will always come back to you :) *cuddles tight* You can get through all this **** babe. You have your whole life ahead of to experience xxx

nicole94 04-08-2010 09:50 PM

if my whole life is gonna feel like this i dont wanna experience it!

MammaMia 04-08-2010 09:54 PM

You won't darling *cuddles*

SoMuchMore 04-08-2010 09:55 PM

It doesn't sound like today is a very good day for most of us here :-/

*hugs nicole* sorry about your sister, that sounds very unfair of her to do. Try to not hurt yourself any worse and take care of the wound. And I agree with what helen said about having your whole life in front of you. It doesn't have to be like this forever, things can turn around.

*hugs mark* how r u doing? Oh and thanks for reading my r/v thread too. Sorry that you couldn't really understand it... sometimes poetry is hard to get i know.. means a lot that you read though

*cuddles helen* I wish i had words to make you feel better hun. I'm sorry that you've been feeling so low lately.

*hugs april* Job hunting can suck so badly/be very stressful. Just keep looking, sometimes things can fall into your lap unexpectedly. Sorry that jarrod gets frustrated with you about napping. Oh and thanks for reading my r/v and liking it :-) You should start writing again. you're r/v was pretty poetic today too. I liked it, although it was sad... but i guess i dont have much room to talk there :-/

*hugs felicia* sorry that you are triggered. Try not to do anything hun.

*hugs jill* I'm sure your life isnt messed up... and if it is.. it can always be fixed, don't give up on it.

*hugs jess* hope the doctors appointment goes okay. I know its a huge step to give up your blades.

I went and checked out my sister's uni for next year. It was nice to see where she is going to live i guess. Although there was more drama with her again :-/ not with me... between her and my mom but the yelling that goes on in my family can get so ridiculous sometimes. Anyway, just feeling low. Want to sleep... Why do i always want to sleep during the day and then at night i'm like totally awake... stupid insomnia.

nicole94 04-08-2010 10:01 PM

*hugs everyone* thanks guys, am starting to calm down now and the urges are starting to go, sorry i was in such an awful mood :(

MammaMia 04-08-2010 10:09 PM

It's okay darling *cuddles* Don't think any of us are really in a good/happy mood at the moment =[

SoMuchMore 04-08-2010 10:14 PM

*cuddles helen and nicole*

nicole94 04-08-2010 10:18 PM

*cuddles helen and laura*
thanks everyone, right, im gonna go get a bath and get into bed as ive gotta be up at 7 tomorrow, night ward.

MammaMia 04-08-2010 10:20 PM

*hugs you both*

Enjoy bath & bed Nicole xxx

Scarletdreamer 04-08-2010 11:11 PM

Guhhh... :(

Sorry no individuals right now... could I just have some hugs? *is scared of asking* :-S

I'm just so pissed off about life right now. And a little suicidal, although I hate to admit it. :-X

MammaMia 04-08-2010 11:18 PM

Don't be scared to ask for hugs etc *cuddles you tight*

Scarletdreamer 04-08-2010 11:20 PM

Sorry, so sorry... :(

*cuddles Hels* How are you, sweet? how come not in bed yet, not tired anymore?? Just wondering. :)

*hides away where no one can find her* :'(

MammaMia 04-08-2010 11:23 PM

Don't need to be sorry.
*cuddles April* Not that tired, but hoping to sleep soon. It's still 'early' for me =P (well it's 11.21pm)
*finds April and hudes with her*

Kahlia1981 04-08-2010 11:57 PM

*huggles everyone*

Sorry I've been so quiet lately. Been mostly lurking. Have been reading - but not up to replying/posting. So big apologies.

Feeling: edgy, anxious, suicidal, urgy, depressed and F.A.T at the moment

Have started having really strong urges towards: SH, suicide and ED - ana type in a really restrictive type way

I've told my housemate about some of what is going on, but I'm kind of hoping that some of it is just going to pass ... *sigh*

Anyway I'm talking about myself way too much.

*big cuddles to all on the ward who are struggling*

And I just want to say my PM Inbox is always open . . .

Scarletdreamer 05-08-2010 12:39 AM

*cuddles Hels* Early for you, yes, lol, but not for me. I'll be taking a shower & heading to bed shortly.

*cuddles Kahlia* Hon, good to see you posting again. :) I'm sorry that you're feeling so many negative feelings at the moment, and also having a lot of urges. :( I wish that there were something that I could do.

A SQUEE!!! moment of the day was when we decided I could use $25 to buy a virtual "sparklepony" ("celestial steed") from the Blizzard store for WoW. Now ALL of my bajillion toons on WoW have the sparklepony - it's basically a Pegasus made of stars!! XD - and is a flying mount and a ground mount all in one. I am soo happy, lol. I know, nerdish moment, but oh well. :P

But now I'm back down to feeling low as I'm not doing stuff on WoW with Jarrod and "the gang" of guildies that we met in January IRL. I could've, I was invited, it's just that I turned it down cos the toon that would've been doing the instance/dungeon with them was my hunter, and I really didn't want to be a faily-hunter. :(


Sorry, that was like, all WoW. >_<

Oh and Kahlia, are you sure you don't play WoW? :P cos I met someone from Australia on my new server who has "Kah" in all of her toons' names and that's what everyone calls her... so I was just curious if you had a secret identity or something. ;)

Anyway. So sorry for rambling, and sorry for being needy, and just.......... sorry. :(

Kahlia1981 05-08-2010 12:55 AM

April: Nope, definitely not me. Not meaning to sound anti-WoW but I am anti-Wow in a strictly IT sense. I meet a lot of IT students who state that they are good at IT because "I play Wow". Usually they fail everything in 1st Year. It's good for relaxation, meeting new friends in different parts of the world, problem solving, and for the type of things RPGs generally give you, but it definitely doesn't mean you are necessarily good at IT. Oops, sorry that turned into a bit of a rant.

frenchhorn 05-08-2010 12:59 AM

*hugs Hels, April and Kahlia*

god i'm just lying here crying, i can't cope in this body anymore its getting too much, i hate it hate it hate it.
sorry moaning and being pathetic arrggggggg

Scarletdreamer 05-08-2010 01:03 AM

Lol, didn't think it was you, Kahlia, and it's okay that that turned into a bit of a rant. I would in no way say that I'm good at IT... rofl actually, I suck at anything when it comes to computers. Jarrod has gotten better at stats with it though, because it can be a very mathematical game, if you get to level-cap and have to worry about certain things. :) But yeah, I'd be anti-WoW in an IT-sense if I'd run across that as well... in fact, was anti-WoW for a long time because it took up so much of Jarrod's time & I wasn't into it. But anyway, just wanted to check. Thought it was really funny coincedence. :)

Erm yeh... *hides again* :-S

SoMuchMore 05-08-2010 01:18 AM

*hugs everyone*

Sorry its not more... i typed out all these individuals but I see that for some reason it didn't post... idk what happened.

*sets out extra special cuddle box*

*hides invisibly*

misskitty112 05-08-2010 04:01 AM

*hugs everyone*
I would do more, but I just can't.... self harmed today... whooo hooo, now I have to start all over again and come clean with my T and everything =/

mouse in darkness 05-08-2010 06:07 AM

*Gives hugs to everyone who wants needs them waves at others*

I don't know how to react I finally have a job. I miss the people I love and feel just blah! I am confused in my head not just emotionally but my head is playing a dangerous game. To say too much it isn't a nice place to be.

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