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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

SoMuchMore 14-07-2010 11:18 PM

*hugs helen* whats wrong hun? (i know im really late in asking.. but here if you need)

*hugs april, nicole, and crimson*

Sorry about the lack of many individuals... just.. sorry.

nicole94 14-07-2010 11:21 PM

*hugs lia and laura*
thanks, its nice to be feeling better, im glad i talked to sofi.

Scarletdreamer 14-07-2010 11:31 PM

Updated my r/v... again... sorry. :-S

Also, I spy Lia!! *glomps* Hehe... and just 'cause I spy you doesn't mean you have to do replies of epic proportions, love. :) Just thought I'd point that out, 'cause I know how much effort replies like that take.

Scarletdreamer 14-07-2010 11:33 PM

And now I spy a Laura, a Nicole, and a Crimson!! *glomps* :)

nicole94 14-07-2010 11:36 PM

*glares at april* OI that hurt!
only joking. *hugs* you okay?

MammaMia 14-07-2010 11:40 PM

Lia, Laura, may I take this to PM on this occasion?? Laura - it's something we've discussed before so you shall know why I'm pm'ing it, if it's okay.

*cuddles you all so much*

nicole94 14-07-2010 11:42 PM

*cuddles helen lots* remember im always here aswell if you wanna talk, hope you feel better soon.

SoMuchMore 14-07-2010 11:43 PM

Helen - of course you can PM me whenever hun. Hope your alright.

*is glomped by april* lol
*hugs lia and nicole*

MammaMia 14-07-2010 11:44 PM

Thanks darling, but you have so much on your plate. Well everyone does. Will send you the PM too if you're okay to cope with it?
Laura - Off to PM you =]

nicole94 14-07-2010 11:47 PM

of course im okay with it sweetie, im feeling better now, dont worry, i like to try and help, it gives me a distraction

I'mJustMe 14-07-2010 11:51 PM

I might be a bit late, but yes, you can pm me if you want to. My mail box is always open. :)

Kahlia1981 15-07-2010 12:02 AM

Sometimes it would be so much easier to just be able to run away .... but then I remember that I would still be there

I'mJustMe 15-07-2010 12:03 AM

I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for being selfish, but it's hit. It's finally sinking in and I just can't...oh no. No. *Begins to cry, softly.*

I'mJustMe 15-07-2010 12:04 AM

What's the matter Kahlia? It would be a very good thing for you to still be here, we would all miss you loads here on the ward. You deserve to be here (ward, life, Earth) as much as anyone. *Hugs*

MammaMia 15-07-2010 12:20 AM

Lia, Laura & Nicole, you should have a PM off me. Thank you & sorry.
Kahlia, sorry you want to run away =[ Please don't. It won't solve this.

frenchhorn 15-07-2010 12:30 AM

*hugs all who want hugs*

not up for replies, been a lot going on since I was last in here.

*hides in corner out of people way*

I'mJustMe 15-07-2010 12:36 AM

I'm alone in here. Alone and scared and...oh what's the actual point. I want to scream and trash my room right about now. At the same time, I don't care. I have no energy. It's real. It's so very real and I can't deal with that.

I'mJustMe 15-07-2010 12:37 AM

You alright Oliver? *Leaves jar of hugs if you want them*
x

MammaMia 15-07-2010 12:47 AM

*hugs Oliver*

Lia, thank you for your PM sweetheart, struggled but managed to formulate a reply back :)

Kahlia1981 15-07-2010 01:24 AM

Lia, Hels: I'm sorry. I just can't keep doing this. It feels like I'm getting nowhere. The anxiety just keeps getting worse. I haven't heard back from the psychiatrist - and I know that means that he is either not where he has email access or that he is trying to work out what to do - but it means that I am lost. I'd like to "outrun my skin and just be pure wind". I'd like to leave my body, mind and soul behind. I am so sick of fighting to do my daily ADLs. To just sit and type, to just complete each simple task. It just makes me feel so useless. Like running away is the only option .... but you can't run away from yourself. . .

MammaMia 15-07-2010 01:27 AM

Kahlia. Darling. I know things are REALLY REALLY REALLY bad right now and you're struggling. Please don't kill yourself or run away. It won't fix this. You will get better, I promise. Just keep reaching out. Hell, go inpatient if it'll keep you safe. I know you hate it but we can't lose you. You won't always feel this bad.

Sorry, useless words I know. But I love & care about you a lot xxx

I'mJustMe 15-07-2010 01:30 AM

Kahlia- I second what Helen said. You have held on this long for a reason, and I know you want to run. I know you want to run fast and far enough so you can escape yourself, but wherever you go you just drag yourself and your problems right along with you and at the end of the day, running is going to do no good. You've resisted urges for this long, and it was a huge step you made to go to the shopping centre without freaking out too much, so really well done on that. Focus on things like that, good things that are a step forward in your recovery. You can beat this, don't give up yet, you're stronger than that. *Huge Hugs*

xxx

frenchhorn 15-07-2010 01:40 AM

*hugs all*
feeling depressed, trying to cheer myself up by organising and looking at clothes for manchester pride, theme is through the ages and going as a victorian gentleman.

*hugs Kahlia* I know things are hard, but like the other 2 have said please don't run away or kill yourself, we would miss you greatly in here.

*hugs Hels*

*hugs Lia*

MammaMia 15-07-2010 01:44 AM

I feel like giving up too lol :(

Kahlia1981 15-07-2010 01:44 AM

Helen, Lia & Oliver: Thank you.

I've just had a scary experience with my shoulder and I'm trying to get some help with that too. (It made a sound like clothing ripping/about to rip but the sound was inside the shoulder.)

I'm talking with my housemate about where I am (mentally) and where things are going.

Just one step at a time. It can't rain all the time, right?

*hugs all of you tightly*

MammaMia 15-07-2010 01:47 AM

Gosh, the shoulder sounds scary babe :(

One step at a time, we're here to hold your hand tight through it all. It can't rain all the time babe.

*hugs you gently*

Kahlia1981 15-07-2010 01:55 AM

The shoulder is really scary - it's the shoulder I had surgery on last year so it's kind of double scary.

Thankyou all.

*huggles*

frenchhorn 15-07-2010 01:58 AM

*hugs Kahlia* that shoulder sounds really painful, hope it gets better soon. If not maybe you should see someone about it.

MammaMia 15-07-2010 02:10 AM

Kahlia - I thought it would be somehow :(

I'm sorry all, I'm going to crash to bed, it's too overwhelming right now & I must get some sleep anyway. Have another **** early start & stuff.

Scarletdreamer 15-07-2010 02:16 AM

*cuddles Kahlia* I'm sorry, love, for how you're feeling/doing... wish there were something I could do. Just know that I'm here rooting/praying for you. *extra special healing/encouraging cuddles*

*cuddles Oliver, Hels, Lia, Laura, and everyone else who's been about*

*glomps Jess since she spots her* :D

I'm... I don't know. :( I'm sorry that I've missed so many pages/posts, anyway... I feel like a useless wardmate, as I've said before. :(

I hate not knowing how I am. :'(

frenchhorn 15-07-2010 02:19 AM

*hugs Hels* hope you sleep ok

*hugs April* havn't spoken to you in a while, nice to see you again :)
your not a useless ward mate, far from it. I hate it too when you don't know how you feel

misskitty112 15-07-2010 04:16 AM

For every good there must be a bad, I suppose. My rehearsal went great, my cast members are crazy, and A Midsummer Night's Dream is just a fun play to put on.

Then... I came home and my grandma is giving me the silent treament/ cold shoulder type of thing. I. Don't. Know. Why. Oh, how I wish I had the money to move out on my own, but I can't do that and pay for uni at the same time.

*hugs and cuddles to all of you* (Also, as a side note, if I ever forget your name, I'm sorry. I can't keep real names/ user names straight. Just something I've been meaning to say)

Kahlia1981 15-07-2010 05:45 AM

My sister says that the noise in my shoulder is likely to be scar tissue tearing or being pinches and I should mention it to my physio when I see her next. She doesn't think it's too much to worry about right now though. In case you're wondering, my sister is/was a physio.

Still haven't heard from the psychiatrist, and my housemate wants me to go see my GP because I keep getting these full body "shudders" and yesterday I managed to spill quite a bit of laundry detergent. The last time I had one I cut myself while doing the dishes, so I can understand where he is coming from.

Sorry for not replying to anything, just thought I'd let you all know about all of that in case I forgot, and in case any of you were interested. I'm really sorry that I'm not a better wardmate. I'm just bloody useless at the moment. :crying:

risenfromperdition 15-07-2010 06:12 AM

NOT useless. <3
hope you feel better soon =[

ergh im so huge.. fml. i can see all the fat and just.. ick =[

SoMuchMore 15-07-2010 06:23 AM

*hugs kahlia* Oh hun, things sound so hard for you right now. you can make it though all of this though. I really believe that... and you are most definitely not useless or a bad ward mate.

*hugs april* you're not a bad ward mate either. We understand you have a lot going on.

*hugs heather* you are NOT fat or yucky.

*hugs lia, felicia, helen, jess, and oliver*

risenfromperdition 15-07-2010 07:08 AM

=\ but... mmm thanks. i'll stop being a brat.

hows you

MammaMia 15-07-2010 09:11 AM

NOBODY IS WORTHLESS

I know we all have very low opinions of ourselves. Or most of us anyway. But NOT one of us is useless/a useless wardmate. We're all very special and individual people. As someone who's been posting regularly in here since late 2007, I've seen many come and go. But I still love everyone & getting to know some awesome new people. So please, no more branding ourselves with the word 'useless'....please? :(

*cuddles all*

Doikers 15-07-2010 09:22 AM

*Hugs Kahlia* You're not useless at all :) and I hope your friend is right and your shoulder noise isn't too serious .

*Hugs April*

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Oliver*

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Felicia* It okay its hard to keep track of usernames/ real names :)

risenfromperdition 15-07-2010 10:42 AM

hey mark =] hows you

MammaMia 15-07-2010 11:10 AM

Invisible.
Oh well.

*hugs Mark back*

Scarletdreamer 15-07-2010 11:19 AM

It wasn't invisible to me at least, Hels... thank you for posting that. *cuddles gently* I'll try not to even think that about myself anymore, as hard as that will be!! :-/ How are you doing, sweetie??

Laura, how are you, darling? *huggles* Thanks for the support... :) It means a lot.

Kahlia, you're not useless either. If I'm not useless then you're definitely not useless!! *gentle hugs* I hope that your sister is right in that it's not too serious, but yes, definitely talk to your physio the next time you see him/her... I'm worried about you a bit. :(

Heather, NOT fat. Lovely. :) *hugs*

*hugs Felicia* What's up, love?? I'm sorry that your grandma is/was giving you the silent treatment... :( That really sucks. I hate it when people do that to me, but I must admit that I also do it to people sometimes. :-/ Hah. I'm not a very nice person - at times anyway. :-S

*huggles Oliver* Yes, haven't seen you around a whole lot... but I take it that stuff is kind of going well? Seems to be, from your posts at least.

Mark, how are you, love? Hopefully "okayish" at least, if not better than that... :) Have you played WoW much lately? *cuddles*

*cuddles everyone else she hasn't replied to or missed - sorry!!!*

*curls up next to Mark and plays WoW for awhile*

Doikers 15-07-2010 12:28 PM

I went to meet my Substance Missuse Nurse this morning and ended up telling her the majority of the details of my suicide "Plan" , I've not not told anyone else IRL, I think I may have only told one person online , she is worried and wants to see me this afternoon too. I really wasn't planning on telling her about it it just of "came up" . Is it a positive thing that I told her? She wants me to tell my SW or she will hmmm , I'm worried I may have started the ball rolling to a hospital admission :(

Scarletdreamer 15-07-2010 12:38 PM

Aw Mark... but I think it's good that you told her - definitely very brave - and I'm proud of you, for whatever that may mean to you. :) Hopefully it won't mean a trip to hos but if it does, maybe they'll be able to help you there? I don't know how helpful you've found your hospital stay(s) to be, but I know that mine have been useful in keeping me safe, at least, even if I didn't learn a lot of coping skills etc. at them. Keep us informed... if you don't want to talk about it here could you email me at least? *extra cuddles*

Also Crimson, forgot to say, that I did get your emails with the essays. Thanks!! :) I'll try to look at them in the next few days and get 'em back to you shortly. And I'm sure you're much more brilliant than you give yourself credit for!! *cuddles*

Doikers 15-07-2010 12:47 PM

Oh , April It means a Ton that you think that of me . I've found hospital helpful in some ways but highly unpleasant ( like when I was on level 3 Observations, meaning I coulden't even close the door to the toiilet or had a nurse watch me "Sleep")(And the food was crap , I lost a stone in 100 days)in other ways . I'm definatly worried hmm.

I haven't been playing WoW a LOT But the other day I Pinged level 21 and a guild member paid for my horse riding lessons and I got my first horse :) I ran into Hayley , of all the places in WoW we ended up meeting in a fort in redridge completely by accident lol

MammaMia 15-07-2010 02:28 PM

I'm having a really really bad day. I don't deserve any of this, or maybe I do.
**** IT ALL. Last night's incident is still having a very big knock on today. Ugh. Wankers. The lot of them.

Glad you read it and agree April.

wolfos3d 15-07-2010 02:57 PM

Sorry I haven't been very talkative. I've been feeling so low that I'm even having trouble staring blankly at things. I have my doctors appointment tomorrow afternoon and I'm freaking out about it. I'm so nervous.

*hugs to everyone*

Doikers 15-07-2010 03:06 PM

*Hugs Jessica* *Roots for your Dr's appointment to go well*It's normal to be nervous , I got my Dr's appointment in the post today and am nervous about it too .

wolfos3d 15-07-2010 03:15 PM

*hugs Mark* Thanks. I just feel so pathetic that it's come to this. It's probably well overdue but I'm way to stubborn to admit that I need to go even though I have the appointment. Ugh. I have no idea what I'm even going to say.

I'mJustMe 15-07-2010 04:40 PM

Helen- I know it's easier said than done, but try to ignore them. They are the ones who should be feeling like that, not you. You've done nothing wrong and you most certainly don't deserve it. *Hugs*

Jess- Good luck in your appointment. I hope it goes well for you and well done in admitting you might need the help, it's a huge step and one I haven't managed to take yet, so you're stronger and braver than me at any rate, but that's not saying a lot. *Join in hug?*

How are you today Mark? Did you get a good night's sleep last night?

xx

MammaMia 15-07-2010 05:00 PM

Thanks Lia *cuddles* You're right. But it won't happen ha.

Jess, I hope your doctor appointment went aswell as mine went this afternoon ^_^ *cuddles*

*cuddles everyone else*


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