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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

wildly insane 09-07-2009 11:30 PM

Hey Vicki, I'm around if you are, if not then I hope you found somebody to talk to.

wildly insane 09-07-2009 11:49 PM

*hugs Jazz* I'm glad you feel better, I hope it lasts, wow that's a lot of sleep

*hugs Arwen* sleep is good, I would love to spend all day in bed, I would never allow myself the luxury :P

*hugs Shadowedseraph* haircut is good thanks, about 4 inches off and well layered , still below shoulder length though, a little different is what I fancied. I hope you got through the day okay and that you are feeling better. let us know if you wanna talk about it.

*hugs Hannahbanana* am so glad your psych sounds good, and yay for wanting to get better, we're here for you every step of the way.

*hugs Jem* hopes you is okay :)

*hugs Katie* sounds tough hun, don't rush any decision. Is there another subject you do want to do, or do you not want to do it at all. I hope things are better for you at home.

my day just went, bumbled around, doing stuff, not as well or as much as I should but still, went okay. Liking the haircut :)

~Kaytee~ 10-07-2009 07:21 AM

Just thought I'd let you know I'm back! Feeling better but still slightly sick. Anyway we have people staying for the weekend so I'll try to pop in tonight.. Take care xx

CrazyHayley 10-07-2009 10:21 AM

Helloooo all!!!! :hehe:

Sorry been quiet but once I got out of spasm thanks to a fab physio, thank goodness for dla meaning I could pay for a private appointmnet :-) , but anyhoo, I had things to do, people to see, flat to super clean :thumbup:

Am about to leave the flat yet again to go have lunch with my mummy - leaving this early as I have a long bus journey - but anyhoo, she wanted to see me now that I'm a happy incarnated angel :-D

Will pop back in and catch up properly soon and give individual responses when I've time, but until then......time for a group huggle!!! :woot:


oh yes, and I told my therapist that I was an incarnated angel yesterday and rather than my usual tears of desperation when there I actually cried happy tears :laugh: Think she now thinks I've lost the plot, but I haven't...... well if I have, who cares, this feels good!!! love you all lots, couldn't have got this far without you all. :kiss: Mwah!!

[Fog] 10-07-2009 11:08 AM

zowie and jazz - wow on all the sleeping going on there! Hope you feel all refreshed now after it.

Shadowed - hope you are feeling better today and you managed to get through yesterday.

Vicki - big safe hugs, I hope you're ok.

Wildly Insane - the haircut sounds nice! Hope you're doing ok.

BigBear - enjoy your weekend!

Hayley - it's great hearing you so upbeat! I haven't been around for a while so I don't know the context of the incarnated angel bit but I'm really happy to hear you sounding happy.

Thanks for the support guys about the anorexia. I struggled yesterday with the desire to purge but thankfully I didn't. I can't seem to do anything whatsoever in moderation. I'm eating, but I'm eating too much and giving myself stomach cramps. I'm just so excited about being able to eat that I take it too far and don't have control.

Last night I emptied all my clothes out of my dresser and put a letter in each drawer. The letters were to all the different People and to the Organisation. I requested withdrawal from the Organisation but I'm not sure the Controller even read it because the letters are still there. Urgh.

zowie 10-07-2009 11:51 AM

I think I'll go to the pub today :) x

shadowedseraph 10-07-2009 12:00 PM

*hugs zowie* the pub sounds like an excellent plan, from my window it seems a nice day :)

*hugs crazy haley* glad your feeling good *joins in the group huggle*

*hugs wildly insane* glad the haircut pleases you :)

*hugs vicki* Are you ok now sweetie?

*hugs bigbear* guests! sounds like fun :P

*hugs jazz* well done on sleeping through the manics, i hope your feeling better now!

*hugs banana* im sure the controller read it, perhaps he just put the letter back there to confuse you?

i'm still struggling, went to aand e last night waited around for hours before being sent home and told to talk to my OT today

MammaMia 10-07-2009 12:43 PM

*leaves hugs for all*

Am still feeling very very sick, trying to get out of being dehydrated and not eating though, Jade's been an absloute star though as always :) Just don't get me started on about the stuipd doctor we saw yesterday *grumbles loudly*

shadowedseraph 10-07-2009 01:19 PM

*hugs MamaMia* feel free to rant sweetie it might make you feel better :)

zowie 10-07-2009 01:23 PM

*Hugs Helen and Seraph*

Being ill sucks Helen, glad to hear Jade is looking after you :)

shadowedseraph 10-07-2009 01:42 PM

*hugs zowie* how are you doing today honey?

zowie 10-07-2009 05:28 PM

I'm fine thanks :) Got accepted on the access course, so I've just had a couple of beers to celebrate.
But now I've had a drink, I want mooooooore. hehe.
How are you? xx

youonlyliveonce 10-07-2009 06:46 PM

well done zowie

had an awful day/ week hit rock bottom hides in the bathroom no1 can hurt me there

zowie 10-07-2009 07:29 PM

Thanks Cheryl *Hugs* When you're ready to come out the bathroom, I'll give you more hugs :) x

youonlyliveonce 10-07-2009 07:34 PM

thank u but its 2 scary. just want to slip away quietly

realflifefaerie 10-07-2009 07:54 PM

Just dropping in to say I'm heading away for a few days.

Really stressed and very anxious but I'm sure it'll be fine.

*hugs hayley Banana, zowie, shadowed, Helen, cheryl and anyone else around*

CrazyHayley 10-07-2009 07:59 PM

*hands secrets a squishy stress head ball thingy* Sorry things are tough at the mo *huggles*

Wow, busy day today so far.... bizarre that I usually manage to be awake in here when everyone else is snuggled in a corner, but hey ho, thats the way life goes....ooh I rhymed!!

*huggles everyone and spends a lil time sitting with each and everyone of you*

*sits in corner, grinning, making a list of things to do*

CrazyHayley 10-07-2009 08:34 PM

*goes out to smoking shelter singing "always look on the bright side of life...de-do...de-do...de-do-de-do"*

CrazyHayley 10-07-2009 09:15 PM

*sprays self with pretty smelling stuff so as not to stink of fags*

Ah, what a beautiful evening it was out there! I was talking to a honey bee! Well inside my head I said the words....out loud, well that would just be crazy!!

time for another group huggle methinks!!

*gathers everyone from everybit of the ward for a great big positive huggle!*

CrazyHayley 10-07-2009 10:07 PM

hmmm, I reckon just as I take my meds and snuggle down for the night, the rest of you lovely inmates will wake up and spring into action. I'll have to catch up when I wake and see who's needing advice, support and comfort. Til then my lil lovelies, an Incarnated Angel sleeps with you and wishes you all positivity and improvements. Nighty Night!

Damnation. 11-07-2009 12:19 AM


wildly insane 11-07-2009 01:21 AM

*hugs Todlich* what's up hun?

*embraces group huggle* thanks Hayley, glad to hear you're still humming a happy tune

*hugs Secrets* hope your few days off go well

*cuddles Cheryl gently* we're here if you need us

*hugs Arwen* good luck for getting onto the Access course, what does that mean for you? I always want to drink more, even when I know it's possibly the most dangerous thing for me to do as it stops me fighting.

*hugs Shadowedseraph* hope you're okay

*hugs Helen* get well soon hun, hope you enjoy the rest of your stay at Jade's

*hugs Hannahbanana* good luck with eating, stay strong, I think Shadowedseraph might be right and the controller did read it.

*hugs Katie* hope you enjoy the weekend.

*hugs Kat, Kahlia, Jem, Vicki, Jazz and anyone else wanting a hug*

I went swimming today, my brother asked me why I liked swimming lengths cos it bores him, I was thinking about it, I like the way the water parts between my fingers and over my skin, I like the way my brain is empty apart from concentrating on each breath and each stroke and remembering which length I am on. Didn't do enough work though, never do, I want to give up on job hunting, it's so demoralising :( had fun dancing tonight, I could dance forever.

CrazyHayley 11-07-2009 01:38 AM

*bounces around ward*

Hmmm, I can't sleep. Insomnia....maybe....but this is insomnia that although I'm tired, I'm weirdly awake enough to do things....and wanting to do things....like I thought why stay in bed and try to go to sleep when I could be putting my energies into something constructive, even if I don't have that much energy right now 'cos I should be sleeping.....hmm....

*huggles Hannah* thanks for the hugs and I enjoyed reading your description about swimming...makes me ponder....

*huggles Todlich* hope the feeling of bleh passes quickly for you, you know we're here for you if you want to talk

So then....quiet night so far by all accounts.....oh gosh, I hope its not that I waffle too much and send you into hiding....eek

*goes and takes angel butt into corner to be quiet and unobtrusive*

Damnation. 11-07-2009 02:29 AM

Just got my own **** to worry 'bout, and I'm worried 'bout a friend too. Awkward conversation is awkward, and even though I say I'll do whatever I can, I just...I dunno what to say anymore

wildly insane 11-07-2009 10:13 AM

aww hun, just let them know you care, don't worry about knowing the right thing to say, you're a good friend and I'm sure they know it. I hope you have someone to help you deal with your **** as well *hugs* take care, ok.

MammaMia 11-07-2009 10:30 AM

I'm in total denial about a few things I think =/

Had a massive breakdown (and boy do I mean MASSIVE) last night and I think already trying to pretend I'm okay....

Meant to be going home today but staying here til Monday, as don't want to take the risk of collasping and don't feel upto travelling...

*leaves hugs for all*

shadowedseraph 11-07-2009 01:06 PM

*hugs MammaMia* do you think a trip to a&e might be in order?

*hugs wildly insane* how are you doing honey?

*hugs Todlich* sometimes its hard knowing what to say

*hugs crazyhaley* glad your feeling so well *joins in group hug*


I'm all alone in the house for the next few hours, im using all my willpower not to slip up in some way or another

wildly insane 11-07-2009 03:14 PM

Thanks Shadowedseraph *hugs back* you okay there, hope you can distract yourself okay, I'm online for a while if you need a hand. I'm okay, tired of everything, but am having an easy as it comes day.

*hugs Helen* take care of yourself hunny

*hugs Hayley* don't be quiet I enjoy having you bouncing around :)

*hugs Todlich* hope you're feeling better

shadowedseraph 11-07-2009 03:46 PM

*hugs wildly insane* i've managed to be ok, my parents have just rung to say they're on they're way back! Glad your having an ok day

Eclectica 11-07-2009 04:25 PM

Somebody shoot me, seriously. If this is what happens when somebody comes out, I shouldn't be around people. At all. Or myself. I nearly got sent to hospital for SHing that I didn't do.

I'm stupid. Stupid stupid stupid.

zowie 11-07-2009 05:26 PM

*Hugs everyone*
Just woke up from a nap so feeling a little too groggy to do individual replies. Sorry.

My little sister's hamster died last night. She was very upset.
Then, when my dad looked in the cage, he saw that there was absolutely no food in there. Not even hoarded stuff.
She hasn't been sleeping in her own room for a while, so dad hasn't been in there to take her to bed which is when he usually checks her hamster is okay.
I realised that last time I held the hamster I mentioned how incredibly thin she was, and when dad gave her some lettuce she wolfed it down - Didn't store any of it in her cheeks like hamsters usually do.
So me and dad have come to the conclusion that she starved to death. We found her collapsed by her empty water bottle.
I feel so sad and angry. She loved that hamster so much, so why didn't she look after it properly??
Stupid child. Poor hamster.

wildly insane 12-07-2009 12:46 AM

a bottle of wine later and I've just mucked it all up again. I want to give in, but something still holds on...

Lilo 12-07-2009 12:56 PM

*comes in and curls up in duvet*

*needs hug*

shadowedseraph 12-07-2009 02:57 PM

*hugs wildly insane* what happened honey?

*hugs Laurawr* can i share your duvet?

Eclectica 12-07-2009 03:33 PM

I've never felt so so so bad for having MPD.

I hate the Coreand want them gone. They hurt too many people (around eight at LEAST) just by coming out and talking about horrible, sick things in detail that's happened to me.

I'm lost and scared.

Lilo 12-07-2009 04:21 PM


sure you can share my duvet Shadow :)

*makes hot chocolate*


zowie 12-07-2009 04:25 PM

*Hugs Hannah* Hold onto the positives sweetie.

*Hugs Laurawr* Hope you're okay

*waves to Seraph* How are you?

*Hugs Kat* I'm sorry you're struggling hun. I'm here if you need to talk.


My sister came over last night, first time I've seen her since she got back from holiday. It was nice, she cought me back a litre of wine and we drank until the early hours :)

*Retreats to smoking shelter*

Lilo 12-07-2009 04:39 PM


thanks Zowie im good now :D

Snuggles on sofa with blanket


YodaBearInterrupted 12-07-2009 05:04 PM

I give up. Guess I will sit in here cause I feel unsafe right now and there's none of my friends to help... sigh... i give up

Eclectica 12-07-2009 05:41 PM

Using my phone for the first time since THAT incident, but it also told me the date it all happened.

Wiping my phone clean completely. New start, I hope.

zowie 12-07-2009 06:03 PM

That's ok Laurawr, glad to hear you're feeling better :)

*Hugs Yodabear* You can sit in here with us, we're a nice bunch.

Kat - that's a good idea, fresh starts are always good.

CrazyHayley 12-07-2009 06:33 PM

*gets angel butt off floor in corner*

I'm still an incarnated angel and I'm still ok.....but.....not quite as elated now. Maybe the realisation and adrenaline have worn off?! Shame 'cos that was such a good feeling. Had a good day yesterday seeing my best mate and her little boy, going to spiritualist church, drinking vodka in the park, spending the night chilling watching '24' on dvd with my partner. I fitted in soo much, on soo little sleep, not a good thing to do when you suffer with M.E. So perhaps thats why I'm not as elated today....I'm recovering from my antics....oh and it doesn't help that 'that time of the month' is imminent.

*goes outside to smoking shelter*

CrazyHayley 12-07-2009 06:42 PM

*sprays self with pretty smelling stuff so as to not stink of fags*

ooh, sorry forgot to give you all huggles before, don't know where my brain is.....

*huggles all in ward*

*goes to water pot plants around the ward whislt she thinks of it*

zowie 12-07-2009 10:03 PM

I'm being good tonight. Just having a couple of wine spritzers, and have managed to make it to shop closing time without buying anymore :) x

Eclectica 12-07-2009 11:24 PM

They've asked me seriously to cut down on alcohol, so I am, just for them <3

Suddenly feeling very... scared? Upset, pained, I think. I think it's cause I hurt my mum... Urgh I didn't mean to. I just can't stand people hugging me for longer than two seconds, like she did. I feel bad for snapping at her.

wildly insane 13-07-2009 12:08 AM

*hugs Kat* cutting down on alcohol can't be bad. I'm sure your mum is okay and she'll understand.

*hugs Arwen* wow that is good, I was good too, one glass of wine, it was one of my favourites as well, I think Dad finished the bottle. Glad you had a nice time with your sister. I coped - well I went to bed.

*hugs Hayley* sounds like you need some sleep hun so that angel butt can kick back into gear :)

*hugs Yodabear* we're here for you

*hugs Laurawr* glad you're feeling better :)

*hugs Shadowedseraph* I just lost it for a while, but I managed to get myself to bed, still fighting. How are you?

*hugs anyone else wanting a hug, hannahbanana, cheryl, vicki, Kahlia, Todlich, Katie, Secrets, Jem, Jazz, Shadowedsoul and I sincerely apologise if I've left anyone out, feel free to slap me*

I'm surviving.

Damnation. 13-07-2009 01:46 AM


Stomach hurts. Been hurting a lot. Keep getting spacey. Haven't been spacey for aaaaaaaaaaaages so bleh, why's my mind suddenly trying to go void again? Have had to keep fighting it off for like three or four days now

~Kaytee~ 13-07-2009 07:03 AM

I emailed my old lecturer about my marks. She said she didn't have my essay and would I mind emailing it again. Thing is.. I never did it. What do I say? :/ Feeling a bit all over the place at the moment and very confused about everything. Think I might hold off on the alcohol lol.

*cuddles todlich* hope your ok :(

glad your surviving hannah, its a start *cuddles*

zowie 13-07-2009 12:13 PM

*Hugs Kat* Well done for cutting down on the alcohol, I know how hard it is, so I'm proud of you :) And I'm sure your mum understands about the hug, she loves you so she's not going to take it too much to heart.

Hana - Well done! That's three of us trying to be good girls :P I know it wont last for me, as soon as I have more money I'll be straight down the offie or the pub! *Hugs back*

Dayna - What have you done before that has stopped the void? If you've gone a long time without being spacey, there must be something you've done to stop it? Keep fighting.

*Hugs Katie* Do you mean you never did the essay or never sent it to her? If you never sent it to her, just send it to her now and keep quiet. If you haven't actually done the essay, I think you're going to have to come clean. If you have a good excuse for not doing it, make sure you tell her.


I had really horrible dreams that were really triggering. Just waking up made me feel better. I don't feel triggered...much...anymore, but can't get those stupid dreams out of my head.
I have to go to the Jobcentre today, but I really really don't want to leave the house on my own...Feeling paranoid about the spies. But I guess I'll have to go if I want money. I think I'll stop into a pub on the way to ask about a job vacancy they have. I've been there twice to ask, but the landlord was never there. Third times a charm right?

*Hugs all round*

~Kaytee~ 13-07-2009 12:18 PM

Yeah I never did it.. it's just.. I had another big essay due the same time and I had forgotten about the essay.. although I did email the person 'looking after me' about it like 2 weeks before it I think but never heard back then forgot about it. I'm not trying to look for excuses or anything, I will admit I never did it. I just.. I've never not done an assignment before :( I guess I will just tell her what happened *sigh*

*hugs arwen* dreams are horrid, glad your feeling better though. Good luck heading out. Third time is definately a charm so I hope there's something for you there. Take care :)

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