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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

shadowedseraph 05-07-2009 12:53 PM

*hugs zowie, Hayley, jazz, vicki, MammaMia and Kahlia* hope i didnt miss anyone out! *steals a cold drink before returning to my corner* I can't get over the need to hurt myself, why wont it go away

Kahlia1981 05-07-2009 12:57 PM

*hugs shadow*

zowie 05-07-2009 03:54 PM

*Hugs everyone* Just about to go out, so no time for individual replies. Going up on the hills where we spread my mum's ashes. We're going to have a picnic/bbq and my little sister is taking a friend to keep her company.
It should be nice, but it's a hell of a journey. We've got to get the train then walk for about half an hour. I really should stop complaining though, god knows I need the exercise.

rockaroni 05-07-2009 04:32 PM

Half an hours walk is nothing, about a mile and a half. That's my walk to uni :P either way, I hope it's a nice walk for you all.

*leaves hugs for all*

youonlyliveonce 05-07-2009 04:42 PM

im on my own and im a liar and i deserve to die sobs in corner. im not worth it. thanks mum

zowie 05-07-2009 08:27 PM

The walk was actually quite nice. I used to walk that far to get to college (after a train ride to get to brighton). It was a lot of uphill walking, but so was the trip to college. I'm glad I got out and had the exercise.
It was very hot though. Had to wipe my eyebrows off after sweating excessively. I do sweat a lot, and I absolutely hate it.

wildly insane 05-07-2009 11:32 PM

I had a really good weekend, the wedding was lovely and I made a friend, dj was rubbish and am feeling really fat because I ate so much. Am struggling now, I think it's because I've relaxed and am tired, I have to remember to live day by day and not worry or beat myself up about being 28 and having nothing to show for it. sorry no individual replies, I wish I could and that I hope you can all consider yourselves hugged.

take care and I hope monday goes well *hugs and cuddles*

MammaMia 06-07-2009 08:56 AM

I'm sooooooo tired, suriving on less than 5 hours sleep, but had to get up at 8am, to leave for 9am to head to a Preston RYL meet, what made me think this was a good idea to go the day BEFORE I go away??? =/

Ah well, it'll be fun :D :D :D

shadowedseraph 06-07-2009 10:58 AM

*hugs everyone* well its monday again *hands out the chocolate (zero calorie)*

zowie 06-07-2009 11:19 AM

I'ma go see my grandparents x

realflifefaerie 06-07-2009 11:56 AM

Maybe one day Ill get a rest?
Things are really really busy right now so sorry if I don't get a chance to reply.

xxx

shadowedseraph 06-07-2009 02:23 PM

*hugs zowie* have a good time at your grandparents

*hugs secrets* try and take things a bit slower if that would help sweetie

CrazyHayley 06-07-2009 04:00 PM

*flies around ward sprinkling magic happy dust*

Wanna know the secret to my ability to fly today?!!! Its cos I'm on morphine!!! Yes my upper back and neck have gone into spasm after only a few days of relief, so I thought I'd come in here to see my friends to get distracted from the pain and try and remain positive as I don't want my happy spell to end.

Sorry for not being able to do individula replies but this is taking up an awful lot of brain power just to type this....I really should learn to waffle less.

*group huggle*

oooh, in here I can make it out to the smoking shelter!! yay

*goes out to smoking shelter wishing it was that easy in the physicalworld*

zowie 06-07-2009 07:44 PM

I.need.a.drink.

MammaMia 06-07-2009 08:43 PM

I may have broken a bone in my foot :@

Auburn Shadow 07-07-2009 12:46 AM

Sorry I haven't been around much recently, been working hard on recovering and staying away from this site as I found it's triggering me too much. But anyways, hope everything gets better for all of you soon *leaves hugs*

I'm kind of stressed at the moment, my fiance's finally going to meet my parents on friday, and I'm kinda freaked out thinking up all the worst case scenarios, but I'm sure it'll be ok... right? And I've got a pre-op appointment at the hospital tomorrow to see if they can work out what's wrong with my eyes, so am shitting myself about that one right now, but am taking the fiance with me to stop me completely freaking and running out without actually going to the appointment.

*leaves more hugs*

MammaMia 07-07-2009 08:03 AM

Ahhhh my foot is still very sore. Psych ward was quiet overnight, hope everyone's okay???

I'm off to Jade's today (Tears of Soltidue, some of you should remember her), until Saturdy but no doubt I'll pop in :)

wildly insane 07-07-2009 09:33 AM

*hugs to everyone* am hoping the quietness is a good sign. I've been busy as usual, I really am too sensitive about what my mum says but I can't help it, she just seems to make me feel completely useless without meaning to. I need to look after myself and go to bed earlier than 1am so that I can start thinking more positively, but it's easier said than done.

*hugs Helen* have fun at Jade's :)

*hugs Auburn shadow* good luck at the hospital and hope the meeting with the parents goes well

*hugs Arwen* how's things? I always need a drink, not always a good idea though

*hugs Hayley* hope the happy spell lasts

*hugs Shadowedseraph* hope you are ok

*hugs Secrets* take it easy hun

*hugs to everyone else, Kahlia, Dayna, Kat, Jem, Vicki, hannahbanana, Katie, Cheryl, Shadowedsoul, and anybody else hiding in a corner*

MammaMia 07-07-2009 11:21 AM

*leaves hugs for all*

Managed to sneak on the internet whilst I'm on the train to London. Am beginning to **** myself about one part of this journey so badly lol. Never mind, it'll be worth it :D

shadowedseraph 07-07-2009 02:27 PM

*hugs wildly insane* sorry your mum makes you feel bad

*hugs MammaMia* you can do it, i know you can

i need to cut i need it so badly that i can hardly think of anything else but i'm not going to do it *sticks tounge out at brain* so there

MammaMia 07-07-2009 03:13 PM

I'm here in one piece (Y)

zowie 07-07-2009 07:24 PM

Glad you got there okay Helen. Say hi to Jade for me :) x

youonlyliveonce 07-07-2009 08:37 PM

ended up in hospital last night. feel really **** now. crisis team are suppose to be cuming round 2nite dont know wat to expect. got dbt assessment 2morrow hides under the bed sorry not much help at mo

Damnation. 07-07-2009 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strawberry.Bananas (Post 1726124)
Tödlich - ( I hope that's right!) ... Don't worry about your housemate, I'm sure she's fine. Sometimes they like to keep to keep people in a bit longer just to make sure that there's going to be nothing wrong. Send her my best...and I hope she's home soon...

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrazyHayley (Post 1726673)
*huggles Todlich/Dayna (sorry am confused?!)* I really hope that you've had some good news about your housemate by now. I hope you've not been worried too much.

Quote:

Originally Posted by zowie (Post 1726744)
Dayna - Any news? Hope your flatmate is okay.

Eeeep, sorry for not posting much! (And Strawberry and Hayley, Däyna's my birthname, buuuut Tödlich is much more preferred :3nod:)

Anyway. My housemate went into hospital for her lumpectomy on Friday, but she was told she couldn't go home on Saturday like we all thought, because she must've been bleeding a bit more than the doctors expected or something, 'cause they wanted to give her a drain.

So yeah, she had a drain, and then they said that she could come out on Monday instead. Then decided that they wanted to give the drain one more day >__>;; so she's come out at last, today! <3

Not been too worried, 'cause I've had Eclectic*a with me during her absence to keep both me and the dog company (and we've been arsing around on the comp and laptop, playing games, watching DVDs, hence my lack of posting here xD).

The only time I really got worried was when Eclectic*a's mum needed to urgently talk to me. Like, Eclectic*a's boyfriend messaged me like 'HER MUM'S ON HER WAY IMMEDIATELY IT'S URGENT ANSWER YER PHONE', and me being the realistic (lol) person that I am, immediately thought 'FUUUUUUUCK THERE'S BEEN A COMPLICATION SHE'S DIED OH GOD I'M GONNA BE ALONE HERE ********BOLLOCKSTWAT DKJDFJH' etc etc.

Turned out she just wanted to get housemate's bed put up properly before she came home LOL. So crisis - thankfully - averted =D

zowie 08-07-2009 10:57 AM

I had a bath, which has been something I've been trying to force myself to do for a few days. It felt nice, I feel clean now.
I'm seeing my care co ordinator today, and I'm going to ask her to sort out a meds review. Which really shouldn't be up to me, I should have been invited to a meds review ages ago. I also had to be the one to call her and arrange a time to see her. Which again shouldn't be up to me.
Sigh. Greenacres is useless.

shadowedseraph 08-07-2009 11:38 AM

*hugs cheryl* don't worry they want to help you *hugs* or at least thats the plan!

*hugs Dayna* hope your holding up alright and that your housemate is ok

*hugs zowie* good on you for the bath. Your care co ordinator sounds a bit useless *more hugs* but i know you'll manage

i'm having one of those days :(

youonlyliveonce 08-07-2009 12:00 PM

they just phoned in the end and said theres not much they can do. and if i need them to phone. so. now just about to go for my dbt assessment feel like ive been 10 rounds with mike tyson.

Damaged... 08-07-2009 02:56 PM

am i allowed in??
im not coping at all.

Eclectica 08-07-2009 05:33 PM

Poor Todlich got stuck with me xP <3

People keep saying I look so much better, but infact, the depression is worse than ever and it's SO painful. Like, holding my chest together kinda pain.

And the systems... Eh, I don't know what they're doing.

wildly insane 08-07-2009 08:14 PM

*huggles all round*

bleh

*hugs Kat* offers painkillers for depression pain

hiya Damaged, make yourself comfy, fancy a tea? we're here if you wanna chat

*hugs Cheryl* how'd the assessment go?

*hugs Shadowedseraph* I'm having one too, hope you're okay.

*hugs Arwen* yay for a bath, hope the meeting with the care co-ordinator went well

*hugs Todlich* glad the crisis was not so crisisical (I think I just made that up lol) hope you're ok.

I went to bed at 11.30 last night which is really early for me, and guess what couldn't drag myself out of bed this morning, set my alarm for 8 and it was gone 9 before I ventured out the first time, all I succeeded in doing before lunch was go for a run and water my plants and that was not without a lot of effort. I'm eating too much. I'm just feeling low, I made 10 weeks, I don't know how, I still want to cut, I just push it into the background and put it off, I'm scared it's just going to build inside me until I explode, maybe it wont.

bleh, anyway got to change and go dancing.

*hugs all round again, leaves some ever so fancy yummy chocolates* hope things are okay.

zowie 08-07-2009 08:18 PM

*Hugs Seraph back* Thank you. Do you mean a bad day, sweetie? Like you said to me, I know you'll cope :)

*Hugs Cheryl* How did the DBT go?

Hi Damaged *waves* Welcome to the ward, hope we can help you feel better.

*Hugs Kat* I know how it feels when the depression actually hurts, but you've got to keep it together. Try to focus on the compliments you've been getting, try to let them cheer you up.

Edit: *Hugs Hannah* (You posted as I was typing) - I think you did well today. You got some things done which is an achievement. Well done for going ten weeks - I know how it feels when you feel like you need to go back to it, or that it will come back to you in a huge explosion. But it gets easier as time goes by. Yes, slip ups are possible. But that's all they are, slip ups. Keep it up chick!

---

Talked to my care co ordinator. She's going to arrange a meds review. (Which, knowing the CMHT, will be bloody ages from now). She also said after I've come off the meds and been okay without them for a while they'll be able to discharge me since I'm so much better.
Mixed feelings about that. I don't really feel they help when things go wrong, but it's nice to have a safety net.

MammaMia 08-07-2009 09:19 PM

In such a baaaaaaaaad mood and I'm SO ill :(

realflifefaerie 08-07-2009 09:29 PM

I'm trying to pop in, I've just sat down for a rest for the first time today.
I'm now really unwell and have to go on a trip this weekend.

*hugs for all*

zowie 08-07-2009 09:33 PM

Awww. *Hands out pillows and hot drinks to Helen and Secrets* Feel better soon lovies xx

Auburn Shadow 09-07-2009 12:29 AM

Can't sleep. Don't particularly care right now. Fed up of people, I just want to hide from the world somehow, but I know it can't happen because I've got friends coming to visit tomorrow.
Fiance's being no help. He just complains that he's in pain, and apparently all I am is a bitch. So there we go.

So triggered for the first time in months, and I just don't know what to do right now.

zowie 09-07-2009 01:27 AM

*Hugs Hana* Are you looking forward to having friends over tomorrow? If you are, focus on that - It's a positive thing. When I was living with my bf he had so many reasons to bitch at me, but the fact that he bitched didn't necisarely mean that the things he said were true. The same goes for you. You're not a bitch, it just takes a lot of work to be that close to someone, and you are going to have disagreements.
How long have you been without acting on the triggers? Any ammount of time longer than the usual time between doing something is a big achievement. And if you slip up, it's just a slip up.
I'm online for a while if you need to talk xxx

Auburn Shadow 09-07-2009 01:56 AM

Thanks, zowie. Am looking forward to them coming tomorrow, trying to focus on it, but with everything else going on, it's proving to be a little bit too hard. It's been at least a month without triggers, and I'm not going to let myself slip up over this, but, I don't know, everything just kind of hit me tonight in a big way.

zowie 09-07-2009 02:00 AM

Well done for going a month without triggers! That's a huge achievment - Honestly.
I know what it's like when it all hits you. And I must admit, I've been weak and slipped up. But you're being so strong. Just remind yourself how strong you are, and how you can get through this.
xx

~Kaytee~ 09-07-2009 02:46 AM

I'm sorry I haven't been here.. I'm still sick =[ and I go home tomorrow.. blaaaah. Give me a few days and I'll be back full force =] Think I might go and have a sleep now.

zowie 09-07-2009 03:25 AM

Sleep well Katie xxx

wildly insane 09-07-2009 09:13 AM

*hugs Katie, Secrets and Helen* hope you all feel better soon.

*hugs Hana* I hope you have a lovely time with your friends, a month without triggers is fantastic, you can get through this, stay strong.

thanks Arwen *hugs back* I know what you mean about the safety net, but when the time comes I'm sure you'll be fine until that time, don't worry about it :) hope your week is going okay.

*hugs everyone, take care of yoursleves*

I have a haircut today...

~Kaytee~ 09-07-2009 10:00 AM

Thanks Arwen and Hannah. Had a good sleep. Less then 12 hrs and I'll be on my way 'home'. *cries*

Been thinking about what I want to do. I'm clearly not happy at uni, hate being there, hate where I live, hate what I study. I'm thinking of sticking it out for one more semester and then possible moving back with my family for awhile. Maybe. I don't know. I don't know what to do =[

~Kaytee~ 09-07-2009 10:00 AM

Enjoy the haircut hannah =]

Jetforce 09-07-2009 12:21 PM

*drops in for a bit*

hey guys! i hope ur keeping okies there! xx

[Fog] 09-07-2009 12:28 PM

Hey guys, sorry I haven't been around for a while. *Big hugs and loves for the last week or so!*

I met my new psych last week and he's actually really great. The problem is that I have so many different problems they need to work out the best treatment for me and what is priority.

My good news is that I am finally starting to conquer my anorexia. It's been getting very dangerous, collapsing and having heart scans and bone scans, I have the oestrogen levels of a pre-pubescent, I can't sit down comfortably any more because of the bones... And at the weekend something just switched and now I'm eating again! It's so amazing!! I do need some serious psychological help for the transition, because I'm not eating like a normal person, I kind of feel the need to hide it and stuff, and I'm gonna really really struggle when I gain weight arrrrghhh... But it's massive progress.

Otherwise things have been going ok, trying to get my stupid essays done, applying for jobs, etc etc.

Hope everyone is doing ok, lots of loves xxx

Ps. BigBear just seen your post... Feel free to PM me if you want because I had the exact same struggle. I've now moved back to my parents' and I'm going to finish my degree with the Open University. So if you wanna talk through it all and options and stuff then feel free :-)

shadowedseraph 09-07-2009 02:46 PM

*hugs zowie* thank you sweetie, we can both get through the bad days i know it, even if its hard!

*hugs wildly insane* how did the haircut go?

*hugs bigbear* you've got to do whats best for you honey

*hugs banana* wow your psyche sounds excellent :) and double wow and a million hugs on the anorexia conquering :) you can do it! loads of love xx

-----

I'm struggling today but i'm determined to get through it

zowie 09-07-2009 06:30 PM

I slept through most of the day. But that's stopped me from smoking too much, which is good. x

PapaBear 09-07-2009 08:56 PM

Hi everyone, been away for a few days, sleeping. I think i got up twice in the last 48 hours, and that was just to go pee and refill my water bottle.

I feel far better than I did before the sleep, a lot more calm and content as opposed to intensely manic.

*hugs to everyone* not going to curl up in my usual spot today, too much i want to do before i head to work!

Strawberry.Bananas 09-07-2009 10:21 PM

I can't cope, guys. I can't.

Strawberry.Bananas 09-07-2009 10:26 PM

Please, is anybody around?


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