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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

zowie 10-05-2009 03:04 PM

Yeah, but I decided I wanted to a while ago and only managed just over a week!

Strawberry.Bananas 10-05-2009 03:05 PM

It's still a start! And a week is still something! :D

MammaMia 10-05-2009 04:43 PM

Hannah, not really, things are pretty **** & someone is beating themselves up thinking they're making me worse and they're really not :( If they see this post, please know that I love you so much :)

Arwen, good luck sweetie :D

Vickkkkkkkkkkki *jumps on*

Eclectica 10-05-2009 04:52 PM

Still the same as yesterday, but at least I am feeling a little bit of emotion: depressed.

Strawberry.Bananas 10-05-2009 05:17 PM

HELENNN *squishes*

'Electic*a' sorry to hear you're not feeling good...anything you want to talk about? *hugs*

Long*Past 10-05-2009 06:31 PM

I won't do it today.
I won't do it today.
I won't do it today.
I will keep out of Courtney's Tylenol.
I will keep my hands away from my utensils.
I will not die.
I will not die.
I will not die!

zowie 10-05-2009 06:35 PM

I need wine.

Strawberry.Bananas 10-05-2009 07:18 PM

*Hugs Ashley* Talk to us, hon. What's going on?

*Hugs Zowie* Hope you're ok...

xx

CrazyHayley 10-05-2009 07:53 PM

Mamma Mia or should I say Hells!!! How could I forget you sweetie, you were one of the 1st people to welcome me on here, nearly a year ago now. I'm so sorry I dissapeared on you and the others. *special squishes*

Right I'm online and in here as I've got to phone my father and update him about my psychologist appointment that I had on friday....hmmm....what a fun conversation to have.....

*goes into phone booth anxiously*

CrazyHayley 10-05-2009 08:15 PM

*comes out of phonebooth*
well that wasn't so bad....in the fact that I didn't tell him....but made arrnagements to see him in a few weeks and tell him face to face....eek, hope I don't bottle it then, or trigger myself too badly. I have issues with my real father & step mother. urgh.....time for subject change....

*ponders*

Anyone for a cuppa? Some biscuits? Huggles?

CrazyHayley 10-05-2009 08:32 PM

*sits alone with cuppa eating all the biscuits huggling her knees*

Strawberry.Bananas 10-05-2009 08:34 PM

Glad it went ok :)

*takes cuppa and joins*

MammaMia 10-05-2009 08:55 PM

Vicki *clings*

Hayley, I'm glad you couldn't ever forget me. Don't worry about disappearing. Are you back then?

--------------------------------------------------------

Well I really know how to ruin it all. Oh well I'm going to die soon. I have to. I can't keep ruining everyone's lives. It's not fair. I should have never been born. I should have died.

CrazyHayley 10-05-2009 09:16 PM

yes I am back....mwahhahahaha....I don't know how long for, hopefully for good as in I'll be here now whislt I'm struggling, I'll then be here whislt I'm recovering and then I can be here recovered to support others. or it could all go tits up and well....hmmm.

So then, anyone need a top up on their cuppa? I'm not having anymore, caffiene makes me pee far too much!!

*goes to the ladies room*

CrazyHayley 10-05-2009 09:24 PM

ahh, much better.
anyone smoke? join me for a fag? I'm not too safe with them at the mo, tempting to use myself as an ashtray....

*goes out to smoking shelter*

CrazyHayley 10-05-2009 09:47 PM

I was a good girl, just had a fag, used the proper ashtray.
Time for medications, I'll be good and only take the right amount. I've got a doctors appointment in the morning 'cos I'm still depressed and SIing on 60mg of prozac. I hope they can help, I'm loosing my grip.
*goes into corner with blanket to hopefully sleep safely*

*..life in pain..* 10-05-2009 10:02 PM

its my first time replying to this thread. hello everyone. well im waiting for an empty bed, but it won't be in less than 2 weeks.

MammaMia 10-05-2009 10:30 PM

*curls up tight into a small ball and sobs*

wildly insane 10-05-2009 11:09 PM

Huggles, I want huggles

Hiya Hayley, hope you sleep safely and the doctors appointment goes well.

*hugs Helen* Don't give up, As long as you've told your friend how much you appreciate her then I'm sure she isn't beating herself up about it.

hiya Vicki, how are you?

*hugs Arwen* good luck giving up smoking again, you managed a week last time, it's a goal to aim for and surpass this time :) how are you feeling otherwise?

*hugs Ashley* how are you doing hun? have you managed to fight the urges today?

*hugs Kat* sometimes I'd rather be depressed than numb, but it's more difficult to deal with, hope you are okay.

*hugs Dayna* how are you coping?

Me, I spent the afternoon listening to a mixture of live music, including ska, funk and reggae at the city farm which was interesting, would have liked some company though. Had a fantastic freestyle dance last night too :)

*hugs to everybody*

MammaMia 11-05-2009 12:31 AM

Well Hannah, I made things a thousand times worse. I hope they can find it in their hearts to forgive me. We're so bloody close.

Damnation. 11-05-2009 02:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildly insane (Post 1609799)
*hugs Dayna* how are you coping?

*Hugs back* What's coping? 8D. Drinking more, eating more, ODing more, triggered more, depressed more...need I go on? Finding the early hours of morning when everyone's gone even more difficult than I normally do.

Still waiting for this ****ing appointment with the mental health team my GP 'urgently' referred me to. And he referred me around Christmas/New Year. Apparently they've got a very long waiting list. In my lower moments, I keep thinking that by the time they finally get around to me, I'll already be dead

wildly insane 11-05-2009 08:07 AM

*cuddles helen* I'm sure they will, real friendship is damn near impossible to get rid of, because it's more than their actions and words that make us like someone it's who they are.

*hugs Dayna more* sorry to hear that hun, sound like ****, keep fighting, you can get through this and hopefully the mental health team will get hold of you soon.

fallenprincess 11-05-2009 09:05 AM

Morning

Kahlia1981 11-05-2009 10:52 AM

*hugs all she can find*

I looked at some alternate accommodation today but will not be going for it. They told me that I couldn't have a boy friend over inside the house ..... like WTF??? Not even in the living areas.

On the good side I have all my paperwork to change my degree so hopefully that will be a short process.

Margo 11-05-2009 12:00 PM

*pokes head in*

Yup still full of loons.

*puts on spiderman costume, regurgitates a fur ball, licks own bottom, makes a cheese and pickle sandwich - rubs into hair and goes to sleep*

Long*Past 11-05-2009 01:16 PM

*hugs back Hanna Banana and Wildly*
Thanks guys...
At least I'm still alive, right?

I have to have a talk with my best friend today...
She kinda betrayed me this week.
I had a performance every night from Tuesday to Sunday,
a performance that I'm only going to ever do once in my life,
and she had some kind of fight with her ex or her boyfriend,
and decided that was reason enough for her to completely miss it.
She had promised she'd come on Friday night...
But she obviously didn't.
I'm really really mad at her right now.
It hurts to feel like you're not even good enough for your best friend.

MammaMia 11-05-2009 01:18 PM

I'm sorry about last night, it was pure hell. But sorted the stuff out with my two best friends. Am so so so glad, couldn't live my life without them you know? :( Am at uni now wishing more and more as the day goes on (and I've not been here an hour yet) that I was at home.

CrazyHayley 11-05-2009 03:35 PM

*cleans up furball and crumbs from PengyNoir's sandwich*

Hello Life in pain, good to have you in here with us, I hope it helps you, make yourself at home *welcome huggle*

I think some people are in need of huggles......"group huggle!!"
*huggles Hells, wildly insane, Kahlia, Ashley and Damnation*

Damnation its crap that you're still on the waiting list, I got referred as at risk/urgent in febraury and only just got seen last friday and I thought that was bad enough. Have you been given a crisis card to help you whislt you wait? If not, go back to your GP and kick up a stinking fuss....though easier said than done, right?

My GP appointment went ok I guess this morning, they've prescribed me progesterone as they think most of my episodes are linked with my PMDD and so will try and stabilise my moods with hormones. So we'll see.

*goes out to smoking shelter*

CrazyHayley 11-05-2009 04:01 PM

*sprays self with perfume so not to stink of fags too much*

Anyone for a game of snakes and ladders?!

CrazyHayley 11-05-2009 05:12 PM

Guess what?!.....


I won that game of snakes & ladders! Go me!!!

*does celebration dance to amuse other inmates*

CrazyHayley 11-05-2009 05:57 PM

*goes out to smoking shelter to converse with wildlife whilst she damages her lungs*

MammaMia 11-05-2009 07:05 PM

I couldn't feel any shittier.

realflifefaerie 11-05-2009 07:58 PM

Secrets is back again...and this time is more determined to stick around.

Things kinda eased up a bit then went downhill rapidly.

*gives huggles to all those that need them*

ps you have permission to yell at me if i disappear again.

zowie 11-05-2009 08:35 PM

Panic over. Father's giving me some wine tonight.

How's everyone this evening? x

Damnation. 11-05-2009 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PengyNoir (Post 1610836)
*pokes head in*

Yup still full of loons.

*puts on spiderman costume, regurgitates a fur ball, licks own bottom, makes a cheese and pickle sandwich - rubs into hair and goes to sleep*

Talk about knowing how to make an entrance o_O;

The MH team finally, finally got back to me today. I now have an appointment on the 9th of June, for the middle of the night. Also known as 11:30am. Only took five months <_<;

zowie 11-05-2009 08:43 PM

I'm so glad you finally have an appointment Dayna. They took their bloody time though! xx

Damnation. 11-05-2009 08:48 PM

Tell me about it, lol. I'm not too sure how well it's going to go though, because the doctor said that they don't usually deal with people if they're suicidal - this MH team will suggest that the patient goes elsewhere. And I have had those sorts of urges for a while now :/. But eh. I only really want to see them about the void, get a professional opinion as to what in the hells it is

zowie 11-05-2009 08:51 PM

Surely MH teams are meant to be there for people who are suicidal? I hope they can give you some insight into what the void may be...What do you mean by the void? Do you have any explanation as to what it may be? x

MammaMia 11-05-2009 11:36 PM

I can't stop crying in real life now :(

Damnation. 12-05-2009 12:29 AM

*Cuddles Helen*

Arwen: Well, that's what my doctor said to me O_o;. So I've no idea. And as for the void, it's just a complete lack of emotions, good and bad. They completely vanish, my eyes stop focusing properly, so all text and stuff appears blurred, and my personality changes entirely. Like, I become really quite formal and cold. I don't laugh, don't crack jokes, don't use abbreviations, and the like

wildly insane 12-05-2009 12:33 AM

hey guys, welcome back secrets, sorry don't have anything to write right now, but do hope you're okay. I've been manically high, haven't experienced anything quite like it before, I'm also currently plummetting, my dog is in doggy hospital and I don't even know if he's going to make it until the weekend and I'm not even there, I'm here and I'm not in control

Damnation. 12-05-2009 05:54 AM

I think I'm slowly committing suicide

Long*Past 12-05-2009 05:59 AM

I feel betrayed and empty...
I can't believe she would just be like that to me!
I didn't do anything to her!
She missed my show!
She promised she'd be there!
She won't even tell me why!
I tried to express that that hurt me deeply, and she basically turns around,
and SPITS ON ME!


Some best friend.... ],=

wildly insane 12-05-2009 08:15 AM

*hugs Ashley* I'm so sorry hun, she isn't wirth your pain, but I know that doesn't help

*hugs Dayna* keep fighting hun, lets hope the MH team can help with the void

*hugs Helen* why are you crying? I'm glad you sorted stuff with your friends

*hugs Arwen* how are you?

*hugs Secrets* sorry to hear things are going downhill again

*hugs Hayley* thanks for the huggles, lets hope the progesterone helps

Hiya PengyNoir, how are you? *hugs*

*hugs FallenPrincess and Irene*

*hugs Kahlia* Accomodation takes time so try not to stress about it, good luck changing your course.

*hugs everyone else*

Me. am two weeks free this evening or tomorrow I can't remember which, as all that week was horrible, lets say this evening and I was doing so well, the high yesterday was interesting, I danced really well, but I couldn't get to sleep I ended up starting to fill in a job application at 2am! but now I'm tired and unhappy and I want my doggy to be healthy, jeez I hate mood swings.

Long*Past 12-05-2009 02:17 PM

Thanks Wildly.

*curls up in window sill and watches the sun rise, crying*
I don't want to go to school.
I don't want to have first period with her.
I don't even want to be here right now.

Why don't I have the guts to just kill myself already?!
It's not as if the world isn't overpopulated enough.
Besides I'm sure that many people would be just as ****ing happy if I weren't there...

Steel Maiden 12-05-2009 02:23 PM

WOW internet. Back here now. Still in hospital.

realflifefaerie 12-05-2009 04:22 PM

*hugs to everyone*

Sorry i can't write anything that long right now things are all fuzzy, however Ill soon be home so hopfully they'll ease a bit

CrazyHayley 12-05-2009 06:44 PM

*rubs eyes* hmm, it seems I fell asleep in the smoking shelter last night whislt conversing with the animals, lol. Thanks for the huggles, now my turn!....

*huggles damnation* I'm so glad that the appointment has come through and really hope that they can be of some help to you, please try and hang in there a bit longer.

*Huggles Secrets* I don't believe we've had the pleasure of meeting before, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't huggle...

I love that everyone says that word in here now....huggle huggle huggle.....sorry where was I?....

*huggles Hells and wipes tears away* oh sweetie, I thought that things were gonna feel a bit better for you now you'd sorted out the situation with your friends. Whats up sweetie?

*huggles wildy insane* Congrats on being 2weeks free, its often those first few weeks that I find the hardest, keep going! I'm also sending out healing thoughts for your doggy to get better. Its horrid when a situation is out of your control, try to stay safe and distracted whilst you wait for news.

*huggles Ashley* Thats crap about your 'best friend' missing your performance, as a fellow performer myself....though not in a few years due to health problems....I know how important it is to have support in attendance and also just to share the experience and achievement. She has shown her true colours by not attending...unless there was an exceptional circumstance. Do not waste your energy or pain on her anymore, I would cut her out of your life as it appears that she has done the same to you......hmmm, sorry for using the word 'cut', metaphorically speaking of course.

*huggles steel madien* hello! I've not met you before either. I hope that the hospital that you're in is of help to you.

Hmmm, what to do now?
*sits waiting to pounce on anyone who needs a huggle*

CrazyHayley 12-05-2009 07:10 PM

*crunches and slowly comes out of pouncing position*....oh my bones....time for something to munch & a fag break me thinks....

zowie 12-05-2009 07:44 PM

I just ate too much and feel like purging.
Gah.


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