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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

mouse in darkness 22-03-2009 02:32 AM

Just checking in to say hi *hugs everyone*

Damnation. 22-03-2009 05:13 AM

Nononononononono! I'm alone. Entirely alone.

I'm worthless. I don't deserve to live. I want to OD. I can OD. I'm losing everyone. All those I once held dear seem to be walking out of my life.

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE ANYONE ELSE.

I'll walk away from you all first, leave this ****ing world before anyone else just runs out of my life! I...I feel rejected. I'm not good enough

fallenshadows 22-03-2009 06:05 AM

Had a SI relapse after 2 years clean, feeling totally ashamed.... Totally usless...... checks in

MammaMia 22-03-2009 03:56 PM

*cuddles all*

Everything is going seriously downhill, I'm being repeatdly hurt and it's encouraging my urges. Seriously need to tell someone, because something is going to happen otherwise. But I can't have him find out, which is what will happen if I tell my counsellor, **** **** ****

Michaella 22-03-2009 04:09 PM

*hugs Nikki* hang in there hun, im here if you want to talk.

*hugs mouse*
*hugs silent * welcome to the ward, if you want to talk feel free to pm me.
*hugs kahlia*
*hugs mouse*
*hugs zowie* hope everythings going ok zowie

Fallen slips are unfortunatly apart of recovering, i know how you feel, hang in there *hugs*
*hugs hells* im so sorry thigns are still going down hell for you, but remember things change and it Will get better, if you need to talk to someone then im here :)

Hang in there everyone.

Eclectica 22-03-2009 04:19 PM

*Hugs everyone*

*Clings to Dayna* Please stay safe... I can promise you I will NEVER leave you or anything. I'm always here for you. Talk to me whenever about whatever, tet me if you want, I don't mind. I'm always free for you <3 And you're not worthless, you're a damned amazing person and one of the most amazing i've ever met.

~*Rainbow*~ 22-03-2009 10:06 PM

*hugs Helen* Im always here if you need to talk ok!!!
*hugs Fallenshadows* I'm sorry to hear you've slipped but here is a little piece of advice stolen from SIXX:A.M;s song "Accidents Can Happen"

And you know that accidents can happen
And it's okay,
We all fall off the wagon sometimes
It's not your whole life
It's only one day
You haven't thrown everything away

hope that helps you darlin

*hugs to everyone else*

Sorry i cant give more advice out - trying to sort out my issue of the missing friends act!!

Damnation. 22-03-2009 10:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katrica (Post 1503426)
*Hugs everyone*

*Clings to Dayna* Please stay safe... I can promise you I will NEVER leave you or anything. I'm always here for you. Talk to me whenever about whatever, tet me if you want, I don't mind. I'm always free for you <3 And you're not worthless, you're a damned amazing person and one of the most amazing i've ever met.

*Clings back* I managed to resist in the end. Housemate's gonna give the mental health team a kick up the ass tomorrow, to see how things are going, and seeing the doc on Friday. So yeah. Woo.

And thanks <3. It's just several things all together. I keep getting into the mindset that everyone's going to just go 'O BAI *paf*'

~*Rainbow*~ 22-03-2009 10:22 PM

*leaves Freshly made hot chocolate with marshmallows and whipped cream For everyone*

Its the best i can do at the moment!! *hugs to all*

MammaMia 23-03-2009 01:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michaella (Post 1503404)
*hugs hells* im so sorry thigns are still going down hell for you, but remember things change and it Will get better, if you need to talk to someone then im here :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by *~Nikki*Sixx~* (Post 1504250)
*hugs Helen* Im always here if you need to talk ok!!

Thanks you two, ugh, I just want to be dead already but I cant put my plans into place yet..

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katrica (Post 1503426)
*Hugs everyone*

*hugs lots*

*sends cuddles around*

Damnation. 23-03-2009 03:10 AM

>__< Urges are back

*Rocks back and forth*

MammaMia 23-03-2009 03:32 AM

*cuddles Dayna*

Long*Past 23-03-2009 06:24 AM

*paces*
Why am I talking to him?
Why do I feel happy talking to him right now?
I don't want to feel so bad later....
*sits in chair and bites nails*
I refuse to let myself hurt myself...

~*Rainbow*~ 23-03-2009 01:05 PM

*hugs Silently crying*

*hugs Helen* - What plans darlin??

*hugs to all*

My bank have now locked down my account!!! ARRRRG why wont things just go right for once!

zowie 23-03-2009 02:17 PM

Sorry that I'm not replying to people, having a really **** day. *Gives out hugs* - best I can do right now.

I feel so terrible. Couldn't sleep last night because the voices were so bad, had to take a PRN this morning and then when dad went out I immedeatly started looking for the place where he hides the meds.
I just want to sleep and sleep and sleep.
I'm having really bad thoughts. About hurting myself, hurting people around me. The Man wants me to slit throats. People in the street, people I know, even people I love. Now I don't think I'd ever hurt the people I love, but I've hurt people I don't know before in the past so there's no telling if I'm just going to loose it and do something stupid.

Argghhhh. Kill me.

Steel Maiden 23-03-2009 06:56 PM

*gives out hugs*

I'm off the Clozapine, on the Amisulpride and the Voices are giving me HELL. The Men in Suits in and the Mindreaders are following me and editing my thoughts. They are reading my Mind and trying to Kill me.

On top of that, I appear to have lost the ability to type properly.

MammaMia 23-03-2009 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *~Nikki*Sixx~* (Post 1505271)
*hugs Helen* - What plans darlin??

My bank have now locked down my account!!! ARRRRG why wont things just go right for once!

To go on a massive destructive bender that should hopefully kill me...and you really aren't having much luck are you?

Quote:

Originally Posted by zowie (Post 1505397)
Sorry that I'm not replying to people, having a really **** day. *Gives out hugs* - best I can do right now.

I feel so terrible. Couldn't sleep last night because the voices were so bad, had to take a PRN this morning and then when dad went out I immedeatly started looking for the place where he hides the meds.
I just want to sleep and sleep and sleep.
I'm having really bad thoughts. About hurting myself, hurting people around me. The Man wants me to slit throats. People in the street, people I know, even people I love. Now I don't think I'd ever hurt the people I love, but I've hurt people I don't know before in the past so there's no telling if I'm just going to loose it and do something stupid.

Argghhhh. Kill me.

*hugs tight* Sorry its not more :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steel Maiden (Post 1506086)
*gives out hugs*

I'm off the Clozapine, on the Amisulpride and the Voices are giving me HELL. The Men in Suits in and the Mindreaders are following me and editing my thoughts. They are reading my Mind and trying to Kill me.

On top of that, I appear to have lost the ability to type properly.

Again, cuddles, sorry its not more :(

~*Rainbow*~ 23-03-2009 08:00 PM

*hugs Helen* Please dont do anything like that hunni - If you really need to talk Im here okay!!!

I never have any luck! im just so used to it all now

but on a good note i will be 1 year and 5 Months Clear Of SI Tomorrow!!!!


*hugs to everyone else*

MammaMia 23-03-2009 08:57 PM

Wooooohooooo

You Rock

Tears of Solitude 23-03-2009 09:17 PM

I feel alone in my head and thoughts. I want to tell him but how can I. To worry him again. I bet he is sick and tired of me being low and sucidial.

Can I stay here forever and make time stand still......

englishgirl23 23-03-2009 09:55 PM

one of my best friends is setting me up for a fall it hurts so bad i just want to make the pain stop i dont know what to do ne more i wonder if its me thinking stuff thats not real but it feels real, i need to make it stop! i want to go and find out but im to scared cos if im right then my life will be over but i cant cope i want it all to stop please!

MammaMia 23-03-2009 10:49 PM

Jaddddddde *clings*

You're welcome to never leave the psych ward ;)

wildly insane 24-03-2009 12:13 AM

*hugs Helen* sorry to hear you aren't doing too well, I know what it's like to want to go on a destructive bender, but I hope you don't.
*hugs Englishgirl23* I hope it's not as bad as you think
*hugs Jade* stay forever, but you can win this
*hugs Nikki* good for you, I think the world should give us all a break, that sucks
*hugs SteelMaiden* I hope you feel better soon
*hugs Arwen* I hope you get to sleep, and please stay safe
*hugs Dayna**squidges* hope you resist the urges
*hugs silently crying* stay strong, you can do it
*hugs MaryAnne**hugs Michaella**hugs AuburnShadow**hugs FallenShadow**hugs Kat**hugs Kahlia**hugs Mouse**hugs Snuffles**hugs Secrets**hugs Shell* I really do hope I haven't forgotten anyone but if I have I apologise sincerely and offer an even bigger hug.

I have a sore throat, I want to cry and I want to hurt :(

Steel Maiden 24-03-2009 02:09 PM

Thanks Wildlyinsane and MammaMia.

I am shivering even though I'm wearing a sweatshirt. These withdrawal symptoms are driving me crazy. My extremities have turned to ice.

The Mindreaders and Voices want me to Kill my Mum. The bad thing is is that I've tried before. Twice my Mum had to call the police to get me handcuffed =[.

xXMessedUpXx 24-03-2009 02:11 PM

i want someone to lock me away or kill me. either will do. i can't do this anymore.

zowie 24-03-2009 03:36 PM

I'm alone in the house, and the spies are outside. I'm so scared.
I'm thinking about going out there and stabbing them all, but I can't tell who's innocent and who's a spy. And I'm also scared that they'll catch me if I go outside.
****.

Eclectica 24-03-2009 03:43 PM

...

They broke the truth to me.

Told me what I am. Worthless, stupid, a whore, pathetic, selfish, I shouldn't talk, I should be alone, nobody likes me.

shieldworld 24-03-2009 05:24 PM

-checks in-

Exams start in five weeks time. I'm not going to survive this. I can't even check into a real ward because it'll take me away from the exams and I have to sit them. I need to sit them because if I don't I'll be a failure.

Devil Girl 24-03-2009 05:46 PM

they are wanting me to jump, they noise is so loud again

Auburn Shadow 24-03-2009 06:40 PM

*hugs everyone*
Sorry it's not more. Really am.

Want to OD still. Still there, still fighting it every single day. OD or go down to Tesco and buy a few cans of beer and get drunk. Both will hurt Jamie. I promised him I wouldn't hurt him. I can't hurt him, so I can't OD, I can't get drunk again. I won't let myself cut, so I guess I'm just stuck feeling like this for a while.
Can't tell Jamie about it, and I didn't admit how bad it is to my counsellors earlier. ****ed up, much? I want to stop feeling like this, and yet I'm hiding it from the very people who want to help.
On top of that I've got to go back to the doctors on Thursday for a blood test to see if I've got hyperthyroid. Don't think I can do this. Nothing more going wrong. Nothing more. I want to just self-destruct.

shieldworld 24-03-2009 06:41 PM

Devil, who is? What noise is it? Can you not put some music on to drown them out?

shieldworld 24-03-2009 06:43 PM

Auburn, can you not tell Jamie? I'm sure he'd rather you talked to him than suffered in silence.
Why are you hiding it?

Auburn Shadow 24-03-2009 06:47 PM

He thinks I'm doing great. I tried talking to him a while back, when I was just triggered, and he kept wanting to know why, and the thing is, I don't know how to explain to him that I want to do this stuff, but I don't know why.
Yeah, he sort of gets the OD stuff, because he's been there before, but me even thinking about it hurts him, and I can't hurt him by even admitting I'm thinking about it.
It's kind of confusing. I love him, I want to be with him forever, but I still want to OD right now...

Michaella 24-03-2009 07:41 PM

hey everyone, thought id check in again today since yesterday i didnt, i ended up just walking around for a long while then couldnt bring my self to return home so i just kept walking for the night, i still havent slept yet but i need to soon, its been 6 days since i last SH'ed, i keep going from extreams at the moment.

*hugs anyone that wants or needs hugs. then,*
*rocks softly as she pulls a blanket around her to keep warm*

Damnation. 24-03-2009 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katrica (Post 1508000)
...

They broke the truth to me.

Told me what I am. Worthless, stupid, a whore, pathetic, selfish, I shouldn't talk, I should be alone, nobody likes me.

BULLSHIT.

You are liked. You are loved. I promise you <3

Kahlia1981 24-03-2009 08:45 PM

*hugs all*

Damnation. 24-03-2009 10:27 PM

Drunk, unsafe. amd about to go void. Very spacey. Eyes won't focusd/ And I want to SI.

WHAT A LOVELY COMVBINTION LOL.

wildly insane 24-03-2009 11:28 PM

*hugs everyone* sorry to hear that so many of you are feeling **** and would love to make everyone feel better but I can't. Sorry, pretty useless really but I mean well and I hope you all have the strength to fight and get better because you are worth it, whatever you believe. Personally I feel like a useless piece of **** who doesnt deserve to be here never mind not wanting to be here, failed again, I will always be a failure, despite which I've even failed to cut myself even though I really want to, ugh.

Eclectica 24-03-2009 11:35 PM

NO.

Don't you DARE.

I don't want more scars.

MammaMia 25-03-2009 12:17 AM

I FINALLY have a gp appointment tomorrow.
Needed one since NOVEMBER because *he* wants to see me after my A&E visit (od) and I need to see him because of needing medical evidence to get mental health mentor at uni/so they know what I'm like. Will he even give it seeing as I'm not diganoised with anything. I so know he's going to ask me how I am. How long its been since my last self harm/od/suicide attempt. But he'll find out about my plans if I'm not careful and he really really really can't. I swear man, if he doesnt give me what I'm asking for, I'll NEVER ask for his help ever again. Am I wasting my time doing this anyway? As I'll likely be dead this time next month...

Devil Girl 25-03-2009 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shieldworld (Post 1508389)
Devil, who is? What noise is it? Can you not put some music on to drown them out?

thanks,

just everybody, the noise that fills my head, is unbearable.

I feel so ill today...so so ill.

zowie 25-03-2009 12:09 PM

I feel ill too devil girl. Bad things are going to happen.

~*Rainbow*~ 25-03-2009 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MammaMia (Post 1509383)
I FINALLY have a gp appointment tomorrow.
Needed one since NOVEMBER because *he* wants to see me after my A&E visit (od) and I need to see him because of needing medical evidence to get mental health mentor at uni/so they know what I'm like. Will he even give it seeing as I'm not diganoised with anything. I so know he's going to ask me how I am. How long its been since my last self harm/od/suicide attempt. But he'll find out about my plans if I'm not careful and he really really really can't. I swear man, if he doesnt give me what I'm asking for, I'll NEVER ask for his help ever again. Am I wasting my time doing this anyway? As I'll likely be dead this time next month...

Helen darling *hugs and Squishes*

Your note wasting your time doing something like this......its the first step to actually gettin what you need! as for being dead this time next month over my dead body will you be - cause i'll be back in Brum by then!

They will take into consideration all of your symptoms to maybe provide you with a diganosis (it took then 3 years to diganose me without having the chance to see a specialist)

They may take some time to give you the medical evidance and it may take more than one meeting so be prepared for that!

Im always at the end of my MSN or PM here or a message on facebook if you need more information about waht they might ask of you!


*Hugs Michaella* well done on the not SI for 6 days walking about is sometimes good to clear the mind ad the soul but its dangerous late at night in any place in Britain, If you need to talk of clear your mind just PM me kk

*Hugs Damnation.* Sorry to hear that your wanting to SI and feeling unsafe, sometime the feeling unsafe can be the worst part of it all becasue you just dont kow what to feel, same for you if you need to chat PM me k


*Hugs wildly insane* You are not a Failure no one is a failure! and everyone deserves to be here, when things get tough its horrible but you just have to hold your head up high and think of all teh good things you have even if its just little things!!! Same for you to im Just a PM away

*Hugs Katrica* Hope yourokay sweetie Pm me if you need me

*Hugs Devil Girl* sorry to hear your not feeling so great, hearing noises and things really isnt a nice thigs, i used to get them alot to, but i found things like listening to my fave songs or going out for a walk in teh middle of nowhere really helped me realease some of them, also writting down things that might be stressing you out of maybe triggering the voices and noises on to paper and tying them on to balloons and realeasing them also really helps *Hugs Zowie* the same goes for you to, just trying to put yourself in a place where nothing can get you a place that you've created for times that you feel alone or scared.

*hugs to everyone else*

Things are going okay for me had an argument with my partner on monday night but he's given me another chance and i cant blow this one!!!!! He's told me to see about doing a councelling course to try and become a guidance conunceller in schools and things! so im gonna look into i think!!!

Gilz x

MammaMia 25-03-2009 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *~Nikki*Sixx~* (Post 1510011)
Helen darling *hugs and Squishes*

Your note wasting your time doing something like this......its the first step to actually gettin what you need! as for being dean this time next month over my dead body will you be - cause i'll be back in Brum by then!

They will take into consideration all of your symptoms to maybe provide you with a diganosis (it took then 3 years to diganose me without having the chance to see a specialist)

They may take some time to give you the medical evidance and it may take more than one meeting so be prepared for that!

Im always at the end of my MSN or PM here or a message on facebook if you need more information about waht they might ask of you!

*hugs and squishes* I didn't go anyway. But I still feel it'll be a waste of time. I will be dead, but we'll see hey? I don't think my GP is bothering to try and find a diagnosis, I think all he's interested in is getting me support, which isn't a bad thing, but like he doesn't ever understand what it's like, he knows how I can get when things are really bad. So what else can he need to know. I have kinda assumed it'll take an appointment or two, like first one to chat about it and then a follow up to chat and hopefully give it me :S Thanks sweetie, can we talk more later like you said in this post and your text? Also you should look into being a counsellor, I think you'd be quite good.

Eclectica 25-03-2009 01:56 PM

Managed to stay safe last night, just a few scratches.

Went to psych today, a new one, and she prescribed some anti-psychotics to help with my 'crew' (people in my head etc). Don't relaly want to take them... have a feeling it'll kill them off. I odn't want that. So I dunno...

Getting my two new tattoos done today at 4, can't waaaait!

~*Rainbow*~ 25-03-2009 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MammaMia (Post 1510052)
*hugs and squishes* I didn't go anyway. But I still feel it'll be a waste of time. I will be dead, but we'll see hey? I don't think my GP is bothering to try and find a diagnosis, I think all he's interested in is getting me support, which isn't a bad thing, but like he doesn't ever understand what it's like, he knows how I can get when things are really bad. So what else can he need to know. I have kinda assumed it'll take an appointment or two, like first one to chat about it and then a follow up to chat and hopefully give it me :S Thanks sweetie, can we talk more later like you said in this post and your text? Also you should look into being a counsellor, I think you'd be quite good.


Of course we can sweetie, I have a pub quiz tonight to raise money for my Brownies so I will be on after ten ish x *hugs*

Auburn Shadow 25-03-2009 02:47 PM

*hugs everyone*

Jamie's asleep. I want to SI, no, not want to NEED to. He doesn't understand, I mean, he tries and I give him credit for that, but he doesn't understand and I try talking to him, but it doesn't help, because I know he doesn't really understand properly. It hurts. Being here, it hurts. I don't know if I can do this anymore.

MammaMia 25-03-2009 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~*Rainbow*~ (Post 1510162)
Of course we can sweetie, I have a pub quiz tonight to raise money for my Brownies so I will be on after ten ish x *hugs*

Thanks chick, you're fab :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by Auburn Shadow (Post 1510166)
*hugs everyone*

Jamie's asleep. I want to SI, no, not want to NEED to. He doesn't understand, I mean, he tries and I give him credit for that, but he doesn't understand and I try talking to him, but it doesn't help, because I know he doesn't really understand properly. It hurts. Being here, it hurts. I don't know if I can do this anymore.

*hugs Hana lots and lots*

zowie 25-03-2009 08:54 PM

Please let me die.

Long*Past 25-03-2009 10:55 PM

*lays down and looks up at ceiling*

I don't want to feel so useless anymore.
I don't want to hurt myself.
And I won't!
I absolutely refuse to...
I'll try anyway...
I always do...
But I ust feel like I"m no good for anyone...


I have to find my counciller's phone number...


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