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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Kahlia1981 17-03-2009 09:21 PM

Laptop AC Adapter is totally f*cked. Connector has detached while attempting to charge laptop this morning. Got all details. Can't afford it until Friday ... no idea what I'm going to do in the meantime. So probably won't get online. So damn over this sh*t.

wildly insane 17-03-2009 11:58 PM

*hugs everyone* sorry brain not really working, would love to mention everyone but everyone will just have to accept it as read. I hope that whereever it is dark people get to sleep well and wherever it is light people have a good day and to all those of you struggling, I hope it gets better and to all those of you who are doing okay I hope it stays that way, me I haven't got a clue *hugs again*

PvblikSuicide 18-03-2009 03:49 AM

I'm not doing so well I need to check in.

Damnation. 18-03-2009 04:36 AM

*Curls up*

Auburn Shadow 18-03-2009 08:28 AM

*hugs everyone* Sorry, can't do anything individual right now. But know I read and I'm thinking of you.

It's still too tempting to OD, just because I know I can, and I know it'll bring a sort of relief to my head at the moment. I've got 2 bottles of hydrogen peroxide that Jamie gave me last night, and another bottle of Aleve, and it's too tempting.
I'm fighting it, but I don't know how long I can keep fighting it for. But I don't know why I feel like this right now, I really don't. Gah.

wildly insane 18-03-2009 09:35 AM

*hugs Hana* keep fighting those urges hun

*hugs damnation* do you want to talk about it?

*hugs pvbliksuicide* welcome make yourself at home

*hugs everyone else dropping by today*

zowie 18-03-2009 10:36 AM

Ugh. Sorry about my last post, I was having an 'episode'

Damnation. 18-03-2009 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildly insane (Post 1494801)
*hugs damnation* do you want to talk about it?

It's .Poisonous.Cyanide., lol. Just got my username change request granted. And eh, I've been missing my sister a lot. Been three and a half years since she died, and it's just randomly come up and started bugging me again ._.

MammaMia 18-03-2009 08:47 PM

*walks back in and rocks back and forth* :(

Mary Anne 18-03-2009 09:41 PM

*hugs Helen and holds her tight* do you want to talk?

*hugs Dayna* think good things about your sister

*hugs Zowie* no need to apolgise

*hugs Kahlia* will be thinking of you even if you are offline

*hugs Kat, Wildy, Pvblik, Kat, Steel Maiden, Ravyn, Secrets, Jet, Hana* sorry for lack of responses recently, been sooo busy with work and study.

*leaves hugs and muffins for all*

xx

MammaMia 18-03-2009 09:54 PM

I do...but where do I begin. My camera got stolen last night, to say I'm gutted is putting it lightly, I love that thing, can't live without it or my mobile or my ipod. I wish they'd taken my mobile, much easier to replace. *sighs* I ended up having a huge fit of tears & panic attack in a club- not a good look (Y) Never ever stepping inside that club again, for that and becuase of the guys, lets not even dicuss them right now *shudders* People seem to love hurting me :D Maybe it's what I deserve ;)

Damnation. 19-03-2009 03:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mary Anne (Post 1496115)
*hugs Dayna* think good things about your sister

I'm trying x_x

wildly insane 19-03-2009 08:46 AM

*hugs Dayna* sorry didn't recognise you there, sorry to hear about your sister, don't worry about it surfacing after 3 odd years, I guess the pain of loss will always be there, it'll lessen though, can you think of the nice memories you have of her?

*hugs Helen* sorry to hear about your camera, I was devasted when I lost mine. I know it's a small consolation but do you have insurance to buy another one? It's not what you deserve, don't think that.

*hugs MaryAnne* thanks for the hug

*hugs Arwen* hope you're feeling better

*hugs everyone else popping in today* this time am running very late, so no more right now :)

MammaMia 19-03-2009 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildly insane (Post 1496866)
*hugs Helen* sorry to hear about your camera, I was devasted when I lost mine. I know it's a small consolation but do you have insurance to buy another one? It's not what you deserve, don't think that.

*hugs Hannah(?)* No I don't have insurance on it, as far as I know, am proper pissed off about it all :(

~*Rainbow*~ 19-03-2009 02:39 PM

*hugs Helen* awwww sweetie thats sucks!!!! well here's hoping that maybe where you were the people there may have found it or something like that - it happened to me i got my phone stolen then the place wehre i was in phoned me on my house phone and told me they found my phone in the club!!!!

Tears of Solitude 19-03-2009 04:36 PM

< hugs go to >

Zowie Hope your doing better

Helen Im sorry that you lost your camera xxx

Dayna I like your new name

Katrica Hope you get your cable soon

Mary Anne Hope you dont work too hard

Wildly How are you ???? You always ask me xxx

Nikki How are you doing ????

Im doing you okay for once. Huge hugs to everyone this evening

How is everyone doing tonite ????

zowie 19-03-2009 07:19 PM

Thanks people :)
I'm much better today.
I'm very angry at my ex for the way he treated me. He's a liar and a coward.
I think I hate him.

zowie 19-03-2009 07:24 PM

Oh, and I'm four months free today.
:) xx

~*Rainbow*~ 19-03-2009 09:28 PM

Hey all - just to let ya all know im back up in good old inverness!!! livin wi my folks start me new job tomorrow and all i want is to be back in Brum i miss it soooooo much

Michaella 19-03-2009 09:39 PM

*walks in and sits down on a bed crossing her legs*

MammaMia 19-03-2009 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *~Nikki*Sixx~* (Post 1497314)
*hugs Helen* awwww sweetie thats sucks!!!! well here's hoping that maybe where you were the people there may have found it or something like that - it happened to me i got my phone stolen then the place wehre i was in phoned me on my house phone and told me they found my phone in the club!!!!

*cuddles tight* It really does suck, I am hoping it is still there, keep emaning to give them a call, but I doybt they'll have it :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tears of Solitude (Post 1497531)
Helen Im sorry that you lost your camera xxx

Sorry for being an arse tonight & thanks :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by zowie (Post 1497868)
Thanks people :)
I'm much better today.
I'm very angry at my ex for the way he treated me. He's a liar and a coward.
I think I hate him.

Oh Arwen, screw him, he's a **** lol!! *huggles*

Quote:

Originally Posted by zowie (Post 1497879)
Oh, and I'm four months free today.
:) xx

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

Quote:

Originally Posted by *~Nikki*Sixx~* (Post 1498251)
Hey all - just to let ya all know im back up in good old inverness!!! livin wi my folks start me new job tomorrow and all i want is to be back in Brum i miss it soooooo much

I misses you, come home already haha

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michaella (Post 1498275)
*walks in and sits down on a bed crossing her legs*

* offers cuddles*

Michaella 19-03-2009 10:35 PM

*cuddles Mamma* thanks x

Damnation. 19-03-2009 10:42 PM

Getting very spacey. Again. Since when I was void the other day, it keeps trying to happen again. Managed to fight it off so far, but it makes my head feel weird.

I dunno what's causing it. The only thing I can think of is missing my sister more lately :/. But I dunno why that would cause me to dissociate/depersonalise, or whatever the **** this void is. And I have to wait until next Friday for my doctor to tell me again that it's 'nothing to worry about'

MammaMia 19-03-2009 11:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michaella (Post 1498450)
*cuddles Mamma* thanks x

Call me Helen or hells, but you're very welcome

Quote:

Originally Posted by Damnation. (Post 1498471)
Getting very spacey. Again. Since when I was void the other day, it keeps trying to happen again. Managed to fight it off so far, but it makes my head feel weird.

I dunno what's causing it. The only thing I can think of is missing my sister more lately :/. But I dunno why that would cause me to dissociate/depersonalise, or whatever the **** this void is. And I have to wait until next Friday for my doctor to tell me again that it's 'nothing to worry about'

I know how you feel *sniggles*

Damnation. 19-03-2009 11:19 PM

*Snuggles Helen back*

MammaMia 20-03-2009 12:30 AM

*clinsg*

Damnation. 20-03-2009 12:34 AM

*Hugs back tightly*

MammaMia 20-03-2009 01:03 AM

:'( :(

zowie 20-03-2009 10:13 AM

*Hugs Nikki, Michaella, Helen and Dayna*

Dad's taking me out for lunch today to celebrate the four months.

My sisters been kicked out of college. In a way I'm a little happy, she hadn't been in for almost two months straight and got a job without even trying. I got kicked out of college for missing a couple of days here and there until it added up to too much, and I still can't find a job.
Anyways, it means she'll have to pay rent and considering her job only pays 3 more than my Jobseekers, she'll be in the same boat as I am.

I feel like a horrible person. I was just getting annoyed that she was getting EMA even though she wasn't going to college and getting wages and not paying rent.

I feel bad for her, honestly I do. But in a way I feel like this is a lesson she should learn.

xx

zowie 20-03-2009 12:33 PM

Okay, I am an absolutely horrible person.
My dad is treating me to lunch in an hour with what little money he has, and I just stole a couple of quid from his change pot to buy cigarettes.
He is so proud of me for quitting smoking, but I just really needed a cigarette. I tried buying one of my sisters mate for 20p and that would have sorted me, but he wouldn't let me because my sister didn't want dad being disappointed.
I used to give her cigarettes anytime she asked for them, despite the fact that dad was happy with her being a non-smoker.
Ugh.
Cigarettes ruin everything.

~*Rainbow*~ 20-03-2009 05:28 PM

*hugs zowie*
Bab i know how you feel trying to quit smoking its hard, but dont let this discourage you babe!!!
when you get your JSA (and i know they can take ages to do that caus eim still waitin) just pop the money back in your da's change pot

Tears of Solitude 20-03-2009 07:18 PM

Rocks back and forth. Had a bad day.

I have been so anxious today its been untrue. I want to harm sooooo very much. First time in a while.

I hate myself, love should be unconditional but I dont .........

MammaMia 20-03-2009 07:54 PM

**** it all man.
Everyone seems to be landing themselves in hospital/need to be there.
I'm not doing too great either but cant admit that.
Haha.

Tears of Solitude 20-03-2009 08:11 PM

Please Helen dont give up, xxx We have to keep going through this Hell to get to the other side.

Love ya honey.
Jade xxx

Michaella 20-03-2009 09:08 PM

*hugs helen*
*hugs zowie*
*hugs Tears*

Everyone has hard times, sometimes it seems like the hard times are never going to end but thankfully things change and hard times give way to good times, hang in there and if you need to talk then feel free to contact me any time.

*hugs any one else who wants a hug*

Steel Maiden 20-03-2009 10:05 PM

*has brought laptop with her*

*watches music videos*

*hugs everyone and shares music videos to cheer people up*

Damnation. 20-03-2009 10:16 PM

Yet again, I am going spacey. I think it's starting to worry my housemate a little, and I'm nervous about talking to the doctor when I see him again next Friday

MammaMia 20-03-2009 10:57 PM

Hell never ends.

Eclectica 21-03-2009 12:48 AM

. . .

I AM a whore. Don't say I'm not. And i'm horrible. How dare I do anything to anyone. Why the **** do I not speak?

Somethings I can't. The answers are there. ****ing read them, I've said it too.

I give up.

I don't know what to do.

[I can't SH; I'm not triggered to do so. I need something else. I feel SO **** right now. I've not felt this bad... In years... if ever...

It's like ive been stabbed through the heart a billion times, thens lowly being tortured through feelings. Its hell. I deserve it for what I did.

I said sorry, I said it wouldnt happen again, IT WAS A ONE OFF. But no. I've been reminded i'm a horrible ****ing whore of a ****.

Stupid ****ing whore. Why cant I die.

Mum. I can't die cause of her. If she wasnt around.... id torture myselg to ****ing death. I need to do something. Not cutting. Something else. I can't take this pani. WHAT THE FCK AM I MENT TO DO.

Just ****ing hang me.

mouse in darkness 21-03-2009 10:22 AM

*Hugs everyone*

Wishing everyone the best and that things start to turn around for the better.

I have recently decided to move across the country to be with my dads family. I haven't seen them in over 10 years. One part of the family I haven't seen in 20 years so its going to be interesting. I feel good about the move but am petrified of leaving my friends behind. Particuly those friends that are my close family (ie Kahlia). I am leaving school to move but will do study through distance education. I just hope that I can get a job when I get there.

*Hugs and leaves flowers and chocolates for everyone*

Mary Anne 21-03-2009 11:27 AM

*leaves hugs for everyone*

I hope you are all having a good Saturday.
I am keeping myself very busy this weekend.

x

Auburn Shadow 21-03-2009 04:44 PM

*leaves hugs and snuggles for everyone*

Jamie doesn't really like me being on here anymore, so the time I can spend around is kind of limited to when he's at his parents' or when he's cooking, but yeah. He doesn't quite seem to comprehend the fact that I actually need this place, and that it does help. *sigh* Ah well.

~*Rainbow*~ 21-03-2009 05:05 PM

Auburn Shadow - you shouldnt let him dictate what you can go on, on the internet!! I know my partner at First didnt like the idea (he was scared it may trigger me again) but when he actually saw the friends i had made and the support that i got he changed his mind very quickly!!!!

*hugs to all*

Hope everyone is okay

*leave some Millionairs Shortbread, Teddy's, Clean Blankets and a Big Furry Pink Dice for everyone*

Michaella 21-03-2009 05:23 PM

hey everyone.
hope everyones ok today
*hugs the others back and curls up in one of the blankets *

Long*Past 21-03-2009 06:11 PM

*walks in cautiously*
Uh... hi... is it okay if I... check in for a while?

zowie 21-03-2009 08:28 PM

*Leaves hugs for everyone*
xxx

MammaMia 21-03-2009 10:11 PM

*cuddles everyone*

~*Rainbow*~ 21-03-2009 10:35 PM

Why do I even Bother!!!!
This is typical of my so called friends
They organise a party - forget im back up the road dont invite me then when I phone one of them to see what they are up to tonight they tell me they are at the party, I ask them who's all there, they say all my old friends, I ask where it is so I can pop along and cathc up with them all - then she hangs up on me and they rest switch of theirs phones or screen my calls!!!! BUT when I came back they were all so excited for like two days but then thats it I dont see them I dont hear from them I am just gone a ghost in the shadows once again!!!!

Why do I bother defending all of them and helping them out - they only bloody come and see me when none of their REAL Friends are about - they are like "oh well I'll go and see Gil casue theres no one else"

Im sick of it all some bloody mates - they leave me at home by myself on a saturday night with nothing but my box sets of one tree hill and a four pack of beer!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG

I just want to cry

Kahlia1981 22-03-2009 12:45 AM

*hugs everyone*

Just checking in to say that I'm still alive and doing moderately okay. Start depot injections of an anti-psychotic on Monday so we'll see how that goes. My GP is playing psychiatrist and is doing better at it than those who are specially trained ... what does that tell you ??

Kahlia1981 22-03-2009 12:45 AM

Forgot to add that I have been reading everyone's posts, even though I haven't given individual replies. Please consider yourselves all hugged - unless of course you do not wish to be hugged.


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