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MammaMia 05-02-2009 12:09 AM

*goes to bed*

pixiedust 05-02-2009 12:11 AM

*hugs Katrica, wildly insane (sorry forgotten your name) and Helen*

Jetforce 05-02-2009 12:14 AM

Thx's for the hugs hannah

Hope everyone is ok there....

i'm a bit weeeeeeeee coz the energy drink but also down :-( weird combination i know..but yeah lol....*leaves some soft drink for ppl to sip on*

tc all...xxx

ravynsoul 05-02-2009 12:19 AM

*hugs everyone* I'm sorry that everyone's in not such a good place. Sorry for the lost jobs, and homes, and the bad days..

wish i could take all the pain away.

pixiedust 05-02-2009 12:20 AM

*hugs ravynsoul* How are you?

ravynsoul 05-02-2009 12:23 AM

*hugs pixiedust back* not really sure tbh.. been in weird moods for a bunch of the day; been triggered and wanted to give in, but didn't have the opportunity.. now i'm too drained to do so..

how are you doing?

pixiedust 05-02-2009 12:27 AM

*hugs* well done for not giving in. I hope you can resist the rest of the night too.

I'm not good. Struggling a lot tonight but it doesn't matter because I always pull through. Wish I didn't though.

ravynsoul 05-02-2009 12:30 AM

*hugs* i know the feeling; for what it's worth I hope you pull through and that the struggling ends for you sooner rather than later. did you want to talk about it?

-the thing is i wish i gave in.. i feel worse for not having given in.. it's messed up, i know.

pixiedust 05-02-2009 12:31 AM

*hugs* Maybe it's messed up but I certainly know what you mean. It's good that you didn't give in though *hugs*

I don't know. Just...I don't know. Miss my friend a lot and not coping too well with grieving tonight.

ravynsoul 05-02-2009 12:35 AM

*hugs back* grieving is tough.. i wish i could say something make it feel better; but words don't usually suffice.. *hugs*

pixiedust 05-02-2009 12:37 AM

It's ok *hugs* Thanks for the hugs.

pixiedust 05-02-2009 12:44 AM

I emailed my doctor :S

Auburn Shadow 05-02-2009 01:13 AM

*hugs everyone* Sorry I can't reply to everyone individually at the moment, I just have no words. Hope it gets better for everyone soon.

I had a really good day today, was with a couple of friends and the kid one of them was babysitting for. So, I should be happy, but... well, all I want to do right now is cry and I'm not even completely sure why at the moment. Sleep patterns are messed up as well, and I don't quite know why that is either.
Missed counselling on Tuesday because of the snow, and I really want to talk to her right now. Normally I'd phone her and talk for a bit, but she's away for the week so I can't. Almost 3 weeks since I last saw her and, well, it's too long since I got to talk to anyone about everything.

*sigh* I hate feeling like this, and I hate not knowing why I feel quite like this tonight.

anarchistl0ve 05-02-2009 02:10 AM


Originally Posted by Katrica (Post 1403289)
It's happening again. It's just like the middle of last year... a complete replay yet worse, and this time I know what's going on. I'm losing yet again. Last year caused hell for my life, ruining friendships and my life. And it's repeating itself...

I feel it growing once more. WE feel it growing. A new one. Worse. It's been there for a while... Just like HE was growing last year, now this one is, too... ****.

Here we go again. ****ing bollocks this year will start off. I'm screwed. I need to distance myself this time. Don't hurt anyone and ruin things like last time.


*huggles* im going through something much the same stay strong

Kahlia1981 05-02-2009 03:02 AM

Hi all. Just wanted to drop in and offer some non-judgemental and full of love hugs to all.

I'm currently sitting out at uni in one of the computer labs ... I'll have to go shortly because this isn't the most private place I can think of.

Just want to let you all know that I'm thinking of you and hoping that things improve.


pixiedust 05-02-2009 03:18 AM

*hugs Kahlia*

Damnation. 05-02-2009 03:37 AM

*Hugs all* Sorry, I wanted to reply to people individually, but I'm tired, and my concentration is beginning to wane. Anyway, I said I was going to at least explain the housing situation properly, so I'll try and keep it brief before I get distracted by something shiny :sweat:.

My housemate got a call today from some woman, can't remember who, asking if we could go sign for the house tomorrow. She said yes, and then half an hour later, she got another call. Same person. Said she had some bad news. Because we'd have to get a new benefit claim (housing benefit, I guess) with the new place, the rules had changed, so the money is paid to the claimant, and not the landlord.

Well, the letting agency don't like that. At all. So they decided that they don't want us as their tenants any more. The only exception for the whole 'claimants get the money' thing is if said claimant has CCJs (county court judgememt), and my housemate was like 'err...but we do', so the woman said she'd speak to the benefits people for us. They were more than happy to pay to the landlord instead, said they'd do that, but by that time, it was too late. They just plain don't want to know.

So, erm. My housemate said a few other things, something about a friend helping us out? I dunno, I can't remember. I might be able to stay with my dad, but he didn't mention anything today (he's in Wales D:), and he's going to phone around, try and get some sense out of the situation. I wish him luck! That aside, he said to go round the council first thing, like, camp on their doorsteps, and just generally make a nuisance of ourselves, all like 'LOL WHERE DO YOU PROPOSE WE LIVE, HUH?!'

Said housemate already got on the phone to the council soon as all this kicked off, and again, even if they could do anything, they won't until Friday. After the bailiffs have been. When we've been made homeless. Even then, they're going to just check our medical records, see if either of us can be classed as vulnerable. I think we both can now, as this has kick started my housemate's depression again, and I now consider myself a suicide risk.

So today is early Thursday morning. Bailiffs coming on Friday (loltomorrow). And we have nowhere to live. ...Oh ****

pixiedust 05-02-2009 03:39 AM

Poisonous Cyanide, I hope you get somewhere to live sorted out, either with your dad or a friend, best of luck xx

pixiedust 05-02-2009 04:19 AM

Someone tell me whether or not to stop drinking? I want to carry on and the samaritans suggested it too but I don't know whether I should. Please help me make a decision. I want more but I don't know whether I should. Sorry for being so pathetically stupid.

Snuffles 05-02-2009 04:55 AM

Bloody hell Dayna...

Almost sounds like our story... We have had NO help today.. not even from Department of Housing.. They can't even help with Emergency Housing.. umm isn't that part of the reason their here for????? So went to Centrelink and got some numbers for homeless shelters.. GREAT!

Organised some storage if need be, going to Post Office to get a PO Box thingy...

*cries and rocks in the corner*

Damnation. 05-02-2009 05:08 AM

Pixie: You're not being pathetic. How much've you had already, and did the Samaritans give a reason to carry on drinking?

Katie: ****'s sake, they're so bloody useless, aren't they? What the **** are these people there for, if they're not going to help anyone? LET'S RAMPAGE D<

pixiedust 05-02-2009 05:10 AM

They said so that I can get to sleep. I said the plan was to knock myself out and they seemed to agree. I'm trying to stop pouring myself another glass though.

Snuffles 05-02-2009 05:21 AM

Pixie- well be careful ok.. I'm not sure what to advise, not in the best mindset ;) I could really go for some drinks!!! *cuddles*

Dayna, I reckon!! Rampage it is.. >_< Centrelink couldn't help, didn't help how they were like oh yes renting is a hard market. Uhh REALLY? Never would have guessed *rolls eyes* Plus that is SUCH the right thing to say to someone who *might* be homeless.. Grrrr... so over it >_< Hope it works out Dayna.. I haven't even told my dad about this.. he wouldn't be able to help. If I moved back I'd have to quit uni (He's in a diff state).. then where does that leave my bf? I dunno... going to look at Caravan places tomorrow.. might be able to get some cheap stays..

pixiedust 05-02-2009 05:22 AM

*hugs Katie* I"m trying not to drink more although it is tempting.

Damnation. 05-02-2009 05:23 AM

Pixie: Hmm. Well, why not a sort of happy medium? Pour another one, but not as large as you would normally? EDIT: Or not, if you've decided not to. Lol, we posted at the same time then xD

Katie: Gah, thanks x__x. Really hope it works out for you too

Kahlia1981 05-02-2009 09:43 AM

*sneaks out of denial tent*

Hi all. *waves*
I'm not doing too great and don't have any words that could help right now I'm afraid. Just wanted to let you all know that I have been reading and am hoping that things work out for all of you.
I'm just going to go and curl up in a dark corner of the denial tent and cry myself to sleep. I'm sorry that I can't be more supportive right now.

*leaves hugs for everyone*

Jetforce 05-02-2009 11:43 AM

*gives every1 in the psych ward lots of hugs and teddy bears for u to cuddle*

Tc all...hope things r alrite there...PM me if need a chat (not that i'll be of any much of help) but yeah....xx

zowie 05-02-2009 11:48 AM

Want to quit smoking. Gah.

Jetforce 05-02-2009 12:59 PM

*gives u some nicorette patches and stuff*

Hope that helps arwen! But yeah, it's hard to quit but if u persist u'll get there eventually!

MammaMia 05-02-2009 01:52 PM

Snow snow snow.
But still depressed at same time...

Eclectica 05-02-2009 01:57 PM

Heh... told mum whats going on. I scared her. ****. I didn't want to. But I didn't want her worrying over why I've been distant and snapping... Bleh. I only hurt people.

zowie 05-02-2009 04:31 PM

*Hugs Katricia and Helen* Hang in there guys!

I went to the doctors and have signed up for a stop smoking clinic, hopefully they'll prescribe me that inhalator thingy.

wildly insane 05-02-2009 05:09 PM

Hey Arwen, apparently the nicotine is out of your body in about 4 days and it's just habit addiction the rest of the time, good luck.

*hugs everyone, hope the rain/snow/council/university/parents/housemates/house issues/everything else all gets sorted out, you know what I mean. even if it doesn't make sense ;P*

realflifefaerie 05-02-2009 07:13 PM

*hugs Zowie* well done for making the step to give up smoking.

*hugs Katrica* telling your mum was brave, she cares about you and I'm sure she'll be around to help.

*hugs mamma Mia* how are things going?

*leaves hugs for everyone else* my concentration is very poor tonight.

I'm really stressing out, am majorly triggered but have a trampolining competition this weekend so can't really be bad. I've not practised and tbh should be doing it cause I've damaged my knee and just argh. Everythin is stressing me out, I have so much work to do.

Mary Anne 05-02-2009 08:11 PM

Secrets - I always fancied trampolining, good luck and hope your knee feels better soon.

Arwen - let me know how you get on, I was thinking about getting one of those inhalator things.

Helen - least you have got snow! We get a piddly wee amount which then melts and soaks the bottom of my trousers every day or freezes and turns the pavement into a skating rink (I live on a street which does not get gritted).
Funny story - walking down to the bus this morning and went flying on the ice, managed not to fall but I was going all over the place, would not have been so bad but there was a car stopped and they saw the whole thing! I was mortified at the time but it is funny now :)

*leaves hugs and hot chocolate for everyone*

Tears of Solitude 05-02-2009 08:38 PM

Poisonous xxx I really hope you find somewhere to live ASAP. My thoughts are with you.

Helen xxx only one day left of snow xxx Hope you feel better soon.

Zowie xxx good luck with the stop smoking xxx

Wildly insane xxx Big hugs xxx

Secrets xxx Hope your knee hold out for your competition xxx

Mary Anne xxx Hope you didnt hurt yourself when you fell xxx

{{{{{{{{{{{{Huge hugs to everyone}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Oooo tomorrow Im going for an ECG. My psych wont prescribe me mood stabilisers without having my heart checked first.

Detour. Derail 05-02-2009 09:33 PM

*sits in corner and whimpers*

I feel so unsafe.
Im drunk.
I dont want to be alone
and I dont know what im doing or why im just....

doing stuff...
and i dont know...

im not good for anything...

Im just a vent for people...

If they need a punching bag or someone to scream at or someone to sleep with...or someone to bitch about....thats me...

oh :'(

Tears of Solitude 05-02-2009 09:35 PM

Voice of Reason

Keep venting honey, anything that will help. Im here listening xxx
Jade xxx

Detour. Derail 05-02-2009 09:38 PM

Im crying....I dont want to cry...

I want to be happy.

I dont understand why me?

what did i do wrong?

Tears of Solitude 05-02-2009 09:41 PM

Oh honey, sometimes a good cry can really help

Honey, being drunk can be quite depressive xxx Im sure you will feel a little better in the morning. xxx

Im sure you havent done anything wrong xxx

Detour. Derail 05-02-2009 10:03 PM

I just want it to stop :cry:
can..i have a hug? off anyone?

pretty please?

realflifefaerie 05-02-2009 10:23 PM

*hugs voice of reason* I'm sorry I can't say anything, but PM me if you like

Detour. Derail 05-02-2009 10:27 PM

I'll be ok..
I dont want to be a burden..

realflifefaerie 05-02-2009 10:35 PM

Well the offer's there if you want someone to listen (well read).

I just watched disney films with friends, never fail to make me feel better =]

Tears of Solitude 05-02-2009 11:05 PM

Big hugs too Voice of reason.

Hope you feel a little better soon xxx

Detour. Derail 05-02-2009 11:36 PM

I keep thnking....

I want to go back to old habits...

but i have a party on saturday....a family party...so i cant...

but i want to..

but i cant...

but i want...

but i....

Eclectica 05-02-2009 11:42 PM

I'm defo losing it.

Losing my mind and body.

THIRD TIME TODAY I've spilt my ****ing drink EVERYWHERE. THIRD TIME. And I keep DROPPING THINGS. And falling over things. Stepping on things. Feeling ****ING ****.

Making me wana cry. But I don't cry. Not allowed.

MammaMia 06-02-2009 12:03 AM

*hugs Alex, Jade, Mary Anne, Jem, Dayna, Katie, Kahlia, Louise, Katrica, Secrets, Wildly Insane and everyone else in this ward*

I'm doing a little better, felt good earlier. But I feel really ****. Just really want to lose control for a while and hurt hurt hurt. :(

Eclectica 06-02-2009 12:58 AM

FOR GODS SAKE I've REALLY worried my mum just by telling her what's going on in my head. She looks at me with a worried expression and just offered to sleep in my room on the floor next to me shes that worried.

I ****in failed there.

Damnation. 06-02-2009 02:19 AM

x_x *Hugs all*

My dad managed to get us a meeting with council/housing/benefits people tomorrow, at 10:30am (x_x!), and we're going to see about trying to get the place back again. Apparently the council woman's been trying to talk the landlord round for us.

ALSO. My housemate and I still haven't been notified of the exact time the bailiffs are due to arrive tomorrow, so she phoned up and was told that they MIGHT NOT BE IN THE OFFICE TOMORROW. So it's far from guaranteed, but we JUST MIGHT have the weekend. Which is good, 'cause we ain't finished packing yet <_<;

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