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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Damnation. 04-02-2009 02:23 AM

I'm not in the void right now. Last time it happened was Sunday, I think. It's damned creepy how it changes my entire personality :/ but I've yet to hear a decent theory on why. I figured that it's a defence mechanism, trying to protect me from all the stress and ****, but...why completely obliterate my personality?

Although it might be a blessed relief to have right now. I'm damned triggered, and really just want to OD x_x. Can'tcopewithallthis

ravynsoul 04-02-2009 02:26 AM

i have not theories on that; unfortunately. *hugs* are you by yourself; will talking here help with the triggeredness?

Damnation. 04-02-2009 02:28 AM

My housemate is downstairs, passed out on the sofa. My...friend is online, but he's not talking. I think he's doing other things, as his status keeps changing between online and away. I'm talking in a hangout thread (speak of the devil, and he will IM) and PMing another friend. And talking in here

ravynsoul 04-02-2009 02:34 AM

keep talking here as much as you need; I unfortunately won't be on much longer, but I know there are lots who check in... is there anything I can help with?

Damnation. 04-02-2009 02:36 AM

Aside from talking as much as possible, I can't really ask for owt else. I'ma start hunting for other things to do to try and distract myself in a min, methinks

ravynsoul 04-02-2009 02:43 AM

i like playing games in the arcade... i sometimes don't realize how much time has passed..

Damnation. 04-02-2009 02:45 AM

Oh **** yeah, I keep forgetting about that o.o. I normally go in to play Snake or something. Other than that, when I wanna play a game, I play the Impossible Quiz (evil D<), Flash Flash Revolution, or something on Kongregate

Snuffles 04-02-2009 03:10 AM

*cuddles Dayna* Hope your ok x

Damnation. 04-02-2009 03:11 AM

*Cuddles Katie back* I've been a lot better

Snuffles 04-02-2009 03:16 AM

Yeah I know that feeling hey =( Just trying to catch up on these posts *snuggles*

Damnation. 04-02-2009 04:20 AM

Yeah, it's been busy in here as of late *snuggles back*

Kahlia1981 04-02-2009 04:24 AM

You can say that again Dayna. . .

*offers hugs to everyone then disappears into the denial tent to try and get a couple of hours sleep even though it is only 2:30 ish PM*

Snuffles 04-02-2009 04:33 AM

*joins Kahlia in the denial tent*

We just got a phonecall to say we weren't approved for the place =(

Damnation. 04-02-2009 04:35 AM

O.o Outta ****in' nowhere, it's Kahlia! *Hugs*

Katie: Aww no, I'm sorry to hear that :gonk: *hugs you too*

Snuffles 04-02-2009 04:38 AM

It's **** =( Feel like crying now and I know BF feels like **** too now. Have another place to look at this arvo... got another to apply for but coz it's really dingy and pricey for a ***** place we're keeping it as a last resort.. 16days till we have to be out =(

Damnation. 04-02-2009 04:40 AM

It'll work out, it has to! Sixteen days may not sound like a whole lot, but really, it's not too bad *hugs tightly*

Snuffles 04-02-2009 04:48 AM

Heh, those words sound so familiar ;) I'm sure it will.. It's just scary hey. I'm feeling all sorts of emotions right now. Anger, disappointment, sadness etc. It is so unfair.. Mik and Chris moved straight into his mum's place no worries at all. Mel just got accepted by the first place SHE applied for.. she's moving out on the 18th. We're the ones doing the hard work, trying to find jobs to support us as well as trying to study... plus spending all our (well most of it)time trying to find a place, making phone calls, trips to real estate agents and the places which then proves to be un-necassary petrol used.. Are we being punished for something we've done? Why is it SO hard for some people yet others get everything at the drop of a hat.. I just want something to go right for once.. I can't go home for mum's anniversary coz of this, dreams of starting a family have gone on hold coz of financial *****, I'm hoping to GOD I can hold onto my studying.. but if everything goes to ***** then maybe I'll have to give that up as well....

Fark me, life sucks.. what's the point anymore =(

Damnation. 04-02-2009 04:50 AM

X__X I really understand how you feel. It looked really bad for us for a while (and things still aren't stable). As for wondering if you're being punished for something, yeah, I've asked myself that numerous times. Eh...I don't really know what to say, other than I really know how it is D: *hugs again*

Snuffles 04-02-2009 04:55 AM

Glad someone understands =) Though I wish you didn't ;)
Sorry for the rant.. It's just been playing on my mind for ages...

Damnation. 04-02-2009 05:04 AM

Ahh, well ranting is what this place is for, isn't it? Well, part of what it's here for, anyways lol

Snuffles 04-02-2009 05:06 AM

Lol that's true =P Anyways I might play some Dawn of War.. get some anger out ;) Thanks for listening Dayna.. take care ok xx

Kahlia1981 04-02-2009 05:15 AM

I hope that I didn't give anyone a heart attack with my sudden appearance ... things just aren't going very smoothly around here. The rain has ceased for the time being so we're trying to make sure that if it does start raining with the torrential downpours again we don't get so flooded. I spent about 48 hours awake because one night I couldn't go to bed because it I left the room even just for a little while the house attempted to flood itself again. I had to wake one of my housemates up because it felt (for all intents and purposes) like I was trying to drain the Nile with a teaspoon.

Meh, anyway *hugs to everyone*

Katie : Fingers are crosed for you that things will work out. *offers hugs*
Dayna : thanks for the hugs *hugs you back*

Damnation. 04-02-2009 05:16 AM

Kahlia: Hoshit o__o;;. Thank **** it's stopped

Katie: Alrighty, enjoy. And you're welcome. You take care too

shadowedsoul 04-02-2009 06:36 AM

thanks wildy insane, i will try and catch you later on, hmm need to talk about it, before i do somesomething stuiped

Kahlia1981 04-02-2009 08:19 AM

Dayna : Yeah.

We dug a trench today and filled some sandbags. *is pathetically proud* I couldn't do any of the digging though. My housemate told me straight out that I couldn't because it most likely would have ended in a hospital trip to get whatever I had broken or dislocated by doing it looked at.

*leaves hugs and cups of coffee/tea/hot chocolate for anyone who wants one*

wildly insane 04-02-2009 09:30 AM

Hey hope you guys are doing okay, afraid it's my morning rush so I only have time to send you all some hugs, give Puppy SinClair his breakfast, Kahlia a bucket and mop and some extra sandbags incase they're needed.

Katie, I hope you find a place you can live in, sounds really shitty *hugs*

*hugs Dayna* Hope you have a good day

*hugs everyone popping by today, leaves pancakes and ice-cream*

*hugs Shell* glad the appmt went well, I'm so glad he understands you :)

zowie 04-02-2009 09:50 AM

I'm so angry I'm literally shaking.
My boyfriend, who is on a break with me, is seeing someone.
When we went on a break we promised each other we wouldn't see anyone. And now he's spending all his time with this girl he had the audacity to invite to places I went with him, and she's saying she loves him.
This is too much. I can't stand this.
I've texted him saying 'You said you weren't seeing anyone but you obviously are. Is that why you went on a break with me?' And am now waiting for a reply.
Oh, and it was his birthday yesterday and he had everyone round his house (including this girl) except me.

Jetforce 04-02-2009 09:56 AM

*cuddles arwen*

I'm sorry ur bf is on the verge of breaking up with u

Sorry, no real words but hang in there xxx

zowie 04-02-2009 10:22 AM

He's already broken up with me. Pretty much. We're on a long term break.
He texted back, and he was angry. He said he wasn't seeing anyone and that he didn't have to explain himself to me.
I said if you were seing someone and didn't tell me, you would be a coward so yes, you do have to explain yourself to me.
He told me not to take the moral high ground because I slept with one of his best friends (the guy who raped me and who's friends who used to be my friends took his side and said I was a liar.)
I said I wasn't taking the moral high ground, just trying to explain that I love him too much to loose him.
He said 'don't wait for me. i don't want a meaningful or long term relationship at the moment'

I just love him so much, but him and his friends have really ****ed me over.

Tears of Solitude 04-02-2009 11:18 AM

Zowie I know you still love him, but he isnt worth it. I wish I could mend your broken heart. Keep talking and posting, it might help.

Get all your anger out.
Please, please take care of yourself, < I have just read your post and replied > xxx

MammaMia 04-02-2009 01:31 PM

1 hour.
I told my notetaker I was going to a funeral.
Maybe I should, I might even just go for a walk.

~*Rainbow*~ 04-02-2009 02:44 PM

thats it
i move away from scotland to free myself of my demons from work the ones who put me down laughed at me and made me lose my job because of my problems
and now now they start telling lies to my partner and making his life hell all because of me
i told him i never wanted him to get the hassle i know he loves me and i love him
but i cant help but feel that they are going to ruin us like that have done for everything else in my sorry little life
i admited to him last night that i was emotionally and mentally weak i havent felt that in a long time since i met him
i think i should go back in to counsilling or therapy but he doesnt think i need it becuase i moved away from scotland to engliand and im fine when im down there but now he might be going for a job in scotland and i would move with him but i would be alone and i'd lose him

*cries*

anarchistl0ve 04-02-2009 02:50 PM

first off Angelica bunny, shes a plushy stuffed cuddly bunny, wearing a silver pleated skirt an a hello kitty tee, long floppy ears an just wants to makes us all feel comforted.

each day it gets closer the flashbacks get more intnse make it stop!!!

*Dayna *huggles* stay strong we are here for you

*everyone else *huggles and cuddles*

pixiedust 04-02-2009 06:04 PM

Wish I had the strength and the words to reply to other people's posts. I'm so sorry.

Not feeling too good. Ought to be going out in 15 mins to go to trampolining and practice for the competition this weekend but all I want to do is hide away and grieve. I've been trying to keep myself busy all day so I didn't have to face it but I can't keep it up.

Lyssie 04-02-2009 06:41 PM

*bands head on wall*
I think I need to go into the padded room?
*cries*

Eclectica 04-02-2009 06:42 PM

It's happening again. It's just like the middle of last year... a complete replay yet worse, and this time I know what's going on. I'm losing yet again. Last year caused hell for my life, ruining friendships and my life. And it's repeating itself...

I feel it growing once more. WE feel it growing. A new one. Worse. It's been there for a while... Just like HE was growing last year, now this one is, too... ****.

Here we go again. ****ing bollocks this year will start off. I'm screwed. I need to distance myself this time. Don't hurt anyone and ruin things like last time.

Urgh.

Damnation. 04-02-2009 08:02 PM

Guess who's lost her new house and will be made homeless on Friday?

THAS RIGHT. IT'S MY HOUSEMATE AND ME. WOOOO

Lyssie 04-02-2009 08:05 PM

*cries* I want to SI :-(

Damnation. 04-02-2009 08:06 PM

Same, Lyssie *hugs*

Sorry to everyone else I haven't spoken to. I'll make a proper post later *hugs all*

Eclectica 04-02-2009 08:08 PM

Really sorry to hear it Dayna.

Wish we could help.

Hugs for all.

Lyssie 04-02-2009 08:10 PM

*hugs* I hope you feel better soon hun, xx

Damnation. 04-02-2009 08:10 PM

*Sigh* It's alright, Kat. There ain't really owt that can be done now. I'll explain all that's happened later, when I can be arsed

*Hugs Lyssie* Thanks, you too

Mary Anne 04-02-2009 08:33 PM

Hi everyone,

Afraid I am totally lost as to what is going on in here, my brain has left the building.

*hugs Dayna* - no idea what has happened but it sounds like you need lots of hugs.

everyone else - hope you are all doing okay, are still here and I will attempt to catch up properly soon.
even tho I am not posting I am thinking about you all

lots of love and hugs.x.

Eclectica 04-02-2009 08:54 PM

Nearly SIed...

Really don't like this at all.

Detour. Derail 04-02-2009 09:57 PM

Today. Sucked.

I lost my job.

Im now panicking.

I cant do this.

pixiedust 04-02-2009 10:01 PM

I want to crack open the vodka.

Eclectica 04-02-2009 10:17 PM

I cant feel pain again.

Bad dissociation. Failing. Slipping. I hate this. I hate this I hate this. It's just that damn matter of time until I slip fully and they get out.

Eclectica 04-02-2009 10:26 PM

I hurt everyone around me and I can't stop it. I don't want to hurt people. I really don't. Why do people have to care!? My pain causes them pain... Which causes me more pain and it damn well freaking goes on.

wildly insane 04-02-2009 11:20 PM

*hugs Kat* sorry I can't offer more

*hugs Alexx* you can do this, honest, I lost my job two months ago and it's hard, but I believe you can do it. Please don't panic.

*hugs MaryAnne* how are you?

*hugs Dayna* I'm so sorry to hear that, good luck finding another place.

*hugs Lyssie* offers a shoulder and a clean tissue

*hugs Arwen* sorry hun, hope you are coping

*hugs Pixiedust**hugs Kahlia**hugs Jet**hugs Snuffles**hugs Secrets*

*hugs Helen**hugs Jade*

*hugs Nikki* I hope it works out

*hugs Becca* thanks for sharing Angelica bunny

I'm going to go to bed early tonight, that's right, let's see if I can get to bed before midnight.

Thinking of you all and hoping things start to go better.

Makes sure Puppy SinClair is fed and has water before settling down with a hot water bottle - it's snowing again - and a big duvet

Eclectica 04-02-2009 11:53 PM

This tit thinks I'm bluffing when I say I will ****ing knife him... He's so damned wrong.

Maybe I need anger management. I don't know. I don't care. I need to do something. The war began and I'm losing.


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