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Damnation. 25-01-2009 12:12 PM

Jade: Eh...not sure. Better than I was earlier, that's for sure, but still not quite right. Yourself?

Jetforce 25-01-2009 12:22 PM

*cuddles every1 and leaves a few cookies for u eat*

tc ppl xx

Damnation. 25-01-2009 12:26 PM

*Hugs Jet*

Jetforce 25-01-2009 12:33 PM

thx's danya

*hugs bk*

Tears of Solitude 25-01-2009 12:59 PM

Im better today thankyou Poisonous < sorry I dont know any of your names >

Im sooo glad you are feeling a little bit better < hugs >

Thanks Jet for the cookie and the hug.

Jade xxx

Damnation. 25-01-2009 01:00 PM

I'm Däyna. And I'm glad that you're doing better as well *hugs*

Jetforce 25-01-2009 01:07 PM

yw jade :-)

want coffee too lol?

MammaMia 25-01-2009 01:15 PM


Originally Posted by BoundNoMore (Post 1379567)
I feel so... I don't know... unloved.
Like no one cares. I mean, I make threads and hardly no one replies ><
And it is so stupid of me to feel that way, because I know sometimes people simply just don't have words or whatever.
And now I am probably putting people on a guilt trip. Ugggh... I can never do anything right!!! :(

*squishes* I often know how you feel swetie, please know that people DO care, I CARE, I'm just unable to support anyone really :( But I so want to *snuggles*


Originally Posted by Snuffles (Post 1380011)
I am still here *sigh*

I'm glad you're still here missy.


Originally Posted by Tears of Solitude (Post 1380079)
Big hugs to everyone, I hope you all got a good nights sleep

How are things this morning ?????

Much love to everyone
Jade xxx

Afternoon Jade :) I've had a goodish night's sleep well I went to sleep earlier than I normally do so that's something.


Originally Posted by Jetforce (Post 1380102)
*cuddles every1 and leaves a few cookies for u eat*

tc ppl xx

Love you Jem :P *muches on cookies*

Dayna, mega hugs hun, sorry it's not more.

Kahlia, try & stay strong hun. I know how scary and horrible flashbacks are but you're so strong hun <3

Eclectica 25-01-2009 03:50 PM

The bangs and screeches... I had headphones on tryna drown them out and they were still clear and annoying. Meeeh.

Tomorrow I go see a good friend. Scared and excited lol. Even more scared... what happens if my lil 'friends' come to play? ._.

MammaMia 25-01-2009 06:30 PM

****ing hell.

Mary Anne 25-01-2009 06:46 PM

Hi everyone,

Helen - what's up?

*leaves hugs for everyone*


Damnation. 25-01-2009 07:47 PM


Kija 25-01-2009 08:24 PM

can i come and stay here for a while? xxx

Tears of Solitude 25-01-2009 09:02 PM

Sure you can stay xxx

Im feeling down at the moment, Dark thoughts are swimming round my mind. Im trying to keep busy on here, so I dont give in.

Hands out blankets out to everyone, this could be a long night xxx


Kija 25-01-2009 09:30 PM

*takes blanket, and cozys in for the night*

Kahlia1981 25-01-2009 10:07 PM

I can't make the flashbacks stop. I'm acting a lot when I'm with people. If left on my own I just retreat to my room and curl up and cry. I'd like to spend the remainder of my life curled up under a blanket. I feel like running, but there is literally no where I can go physically that will stop me having these experiences. I want to bash my head until it all stops.

Kija 25-01-2009 10:09 PM

:( hugs xxx

Kija 25-01-2009 10:24 PM

random question. are you a dancer kahlia? just noticed your avatar.

Kahlia1981 25-01-2009 10:35 PM

Kija : Thanks for the hugs. I was a dancer and I am a qualified teacher of dancing. Now I only dance for fun and as a form of release.

realflifefaerie 25-01-2009 10:40 PM

Just quickly checking in before bed. Am back from home, successfully fattened up and lonely now am in halls.
Will fill in more tomorrow.
*leaves hugs*

Kija 25-01-2009 10:55 PM

thats nice kahlia. i was in profesional contemporary dance training. i miss it like mad. damn f*cking mental health.

ravynsoul 25-01-2009 11:10 PM

*sneaks in* *offers hugs to everyone*

seems like lots of people are hurting right now... I'm thinking of you all; don't have specific words but have read your posts and are thinking of you.

*sets up the denial tent* It's been a while since we've had it out and I'm thinking it may come in handy again.

*curls up in corner, of denial tent after offering warm drinks to everyone*

Emo 25-01-2009 11:10 PM

feeling bad at the moment flashbacks are getting to me
* cries*

ravynsoul 25-01-2009 11:15 PM

*hugs Ella* Do you want to talk about it?

Kija 25-01-2009 11:29 PM

the denial tent sounds good. can i share it with you?xxx

ravynsoul 25-01-2009 11:34 PM

Definitely Kija! The denial tent expands to fit all who need/want to hide out and pretend everything is ok for a while.

Kija 25-01-2009 11:35 PM

fantastic, just what i need. *curls up in denial tent*

ravynsoul 25-01-2009 11:36 PM

how are things Kija?

Kahlia1981 25-01-2009 11:37 PM

*creeps into denial tent*
maybe I can be free from the tears for awhile and rest my head ...

ravynsoul 25-01-2009 11:40 PM

*hugs Kahlia* hope you can get some rest.. sorry to hear about your flashbacks.. hope you're safe in here for a while

Kija 25-01-2009 11:41 PM

things arent fantastic, wich is why i'm in here. my grandpas funeral is tommorow, obviously i cant be there. i had to talk to my grandma today. its horrible. its just a bit much. along side everything else. ouch. thanks for asking. xxx

ravynsoul 25-01-2009 11:43 PM

*hugs* i feel your pain; I lost my grandma a few months ago.. it's hard.

Emo 25-01-2009 11:46 PM

having body memories there making me want to self injure
it feel like am there that it happing right now

talking to my husband he is being supportive as always
i just trying to get through this


Kija 25-01-2009 11:48 PM

thanks ravyn. its horrible. how r u?
sorry that ur having a rough time purple.

wildly insane 26-01-2009 12:11 AM

My message just deleted :sad:

Denial tent sounds like a great idea although I usually have my head in the sand anyway, either that or running as fast as it can in the opposite direction, unfortunately I can never run fast enough. hmm can we put a spell on the tent which makes all bad thoughts go away? Is Puppy SinClair allowed in?

*Hugs Secrets* hope your exams went okay, hope you are not too lonely.

*hugs Kat* I can't think of anything to say except to offer my support

*hugs Dayna* Sorry to hear the council is being ****, I hope it all gets sorted.

*Hugs Shell* thanks hun, will message you soon, *accepts, hot cup of cocoa*

*hugs Emma* hope everything is going slightly better

*hugs Helen* What's up? *hugs again*

*hugs Mary Anne* hope you had a good weekend

*hugs Kahlia* I hope the flashbacks calm down, what kind of dance do you do? I love to dance

*hugs Snuffles* hope you are okay

*hugs Jade* hope the dark thoughts go away, stay strong

*hugs Jet* thanks for the cookies

*hugs Kija* welcome, have you been intriduced to Puppy SinClair, he's the ward's cocker spanial puppy and he's so full of energy and joy he can't help but make you smile :-)

*hugs Ella* hope you find the strength to tell those thoughts to go to hell.

Sorry for the length of this post but I really wanted to give everybody a hug and not miss anyone out who's popped by since last time.

mmm tis nice and cozy in the denial tent... way past my bedtime...my eyes are getting heavy...

Kija 26-01-2009 12:13 AM

thanks, gives puppy sinclair a pat on the head!
thank god for meds, i'm going, get to be knocked out for the next 12-14 hours. thank god. xxx

ravynsoul 26-01-2009 12:14 AM

Sorry to hear things aren't going well Ella; glad to hear your husband is supportive of you.

Kija, it may sound like it's not true atm.. but eventually it will get easier the pain will subside somewhat and you'll be left with memories.. I'm doing okish; better than I have been, so that's good.

ravynsoul 26-01-2009 12:16 AM

Missed your message Hannah... I think that's the beauty of the tent that all the bad thoughts stay outside of it; but to be certain please place a spell on it! And, as long as no one else objects, I think Puppy Sinclair is more than welcome in. *hugs* hope you have a nice sleep

MammaMia 26-01-2009 02:53 AM


Originally Posted by ravynsoul (Post 1381773)
Definitely Kija! The denial tent expands to fit all who need/want to hide out and pretend everything is ok for a while.

It's also to deny everythiung and protect you from everything. Also anything you need...is in here. Also it's never packed away ;)

MammaMia 26-01-2009 02:54 AM


Originally Posted by ravynsoul (Post 1381858)
Missed your message Hannah... I think that's the beauty of the tent that all the bad thoughts stay outside of it; but to be certain please place a spell on it! And, as long as no one else objects, I think Puppy Sinclair is more than welcome in. *hugs* hope you have a nice sleep

Again agreed :D

MammaMia 26-01-2009 02:56 AM

I'm sick & tired of family lying. I'm sick & tired of my dad's half of my family have turned against me and mum ever since my dad walked. It's almost like my Mum cheated or badly hurt him or ****ing something. It hurts me too. They are all twats. I hate my family. See isn't it funny how all my mum's side of the family including her other children..(ie my other siblings) have so much care & love for us all. Just the ****ing last thing I need right now.

I hate my life. I hate me.

Kahlia1981 26-01-2009 10:04 AM


Originally Posted by wildly insane (Post 1381844)
*hugs Kahlia* I hope the flashbacks calm down, what kind of dance do you do? I love to dance

I hope the flashbacks calm down too .... they are getting more than a little intense. I started with classical ballet then moved through to modern - both contemporary and jazz and tap. I am qualified to teach modern and tap and am a member of the RAD (Royal Academy of Dancing). My favourite dance-related times however were when I was in a company many years ago for youth. We did some of the best performances that I can ever remember. *sigh*

I think I'll just sneak into the denial tent and pat puppy sinClair. (I love cocker spaniels)

zowie 26-01-2009 10:57 AM

Sorry, I've missed about five pages so don't have time to read it all. But am thinking of all of you xxx

The Rocky Horror themed party was brilliant, I went as Magenta. xx

Mary Anne 26-01-2009 12:33 PM

Bet you looked great Zowie :)

Have just qucikly read through all the posts, thanks for all the hugs etc offered.

*offers hugs and biccies*

*clambers into denial tent but leaves a small opening to smoke out of*

realflifefaerie 26-01-2009 01:01 PM

Have read through all the posts, Im sorry everyone seems to be having a rough stage.

I feel really distressed today, I don't know why, I had nightmares last night and now I just want my mummy. I can't stop the tears and I have to go back to uni in 15 mins. I just want it to go away now. I wish I still lived at home.

MammaMia 26-01-2009 02:52 PM

I want the nightmares to stop.
I want the flashbacks to stop.
I want the panic attacks to stop.
I want this **** time for everyone to stop.
*sighs deeply*

Just found out I can FINALLY go pick my IT assignment up, am so excited yet so scared about it. I'm not in uni until Wednesday this week, but I might go in tomorrow to sort a counselling appointment out and to pick it up. :) Or then again, I may wait....

Kija 26-01-2009 02:56 PM

*wakes up from drug induced sleep and crawls straight back into denial tent*
thats really good kahlia. i could be a member of the RAD thanks to all the exams i did, but would have to pay, so thats a no no! i think in the uk we're the only ones to call contemporary contemporary, i think elsewhere its modern? not sure. i miss it so much. dancing was who i was, and now i have nothing. sounds pathetic but its true. hope the flashbacks are lessening.
its his funeral today. and i have so much things to sort out and i just cant do anything. ergh x

Tears of Solitude 26-01-2009 03:50 PM

Im sorry that everyone is going through such a tough time right now, thats including me.

There are just to many to name but < HUGE hugs > to everyone.

If we keep on talking, it should help. To know that your not the only one out there, that there are people that care helps.

I care for you all so much and wish I could wave that magic wand to make you all smile again.

To top off my very low mood < rock bottom >, I dont feel to well either. I just feel YUK inside and out. < sits in tent away from people so I dont spread my germs >

Love Jade xxx

MammaMia 26-01-2009 03:59 PM

I feel like I should be doing.
I think I'm meant to be doing something today but no idea what :S
Ah well

Tears of Solitude 26-01-2009 04:03 PM

Oh Mamma Mia < big hugs >

I know that feeling, Im just about to reply to your post xxx

Jade xxx

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