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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Doikers 14-12-2010 07:58 PM

*Hugs Kitty*

misskitty112 14-12-2010 07:58 PM

*Hugs Kitty* What's going on darling?
*Hugs Nicole*
*Hugs Lindsay* I'm glad you feel hopeful today
*Hugs Mark*

I... miss my tools, a lot. I don't have any money to buy more, and my point was to be safe. be safe.
My stuff for my suicide plan should be arriving soon. I don't even know what I'm gonna do with it... but I'll figure it out.

OH! I got a stuffed penguin from a friend today. It's so cute! And, I did get my pillow pet from my roommate. I named it Enya... haha.

And... I'm not studying. I'm reading a book for like 13 year olds, called Angus, Thongs and Full Frontal Snogging. It's pretty much one of the greatest books I've ever read. No kidding.

I need to study though. Anyone wanna teleport and confiscate my book?

Doikers 14-12-2010 08:05 PM

*Teleports To Felicia's , Confiscates her book* You can have it back in an hour :P Please get rid of your suicide plan stuff when it arrives , Give it to your room mate like you did your tools (I'm sorry you miss your tools , I know just having them is a comfort to me) or just shoove it in a bin on campus that is emptied everyday , or go to a river and just hurl it away?

PsychoKitty2010 14-12-2010 08:14 PM

-lets herself fall to the floor after banging her head several times and hugs mark and felicia back, then hugs her knees-

I tried. I cant do anything right. -points back to where she was talking to julie/amy- A prime example. Im stupid. -bangs the back of her head against the wall-

The nightmares wont go away. Im so tired but afraid to go to sleep again. Had nightmares all throughout the night last night. Never want to sleep again. No. Never. And felicia, you can send your suicide plan stuff to me when it arrives. You dont need to include instructions or a note or anything...Im sure I can figure it out when it arrives...

-starts picking at and scratching the skin on her arms while banging her head against the wall-

Just. Want. To. Be. Free...free...free.......

Doikers 14-12-2010 08:21 PM

You're NOT , repeat NOT stupid kitty :P I won't hear of such ! Yesterday I got confused between Lia and Felicia , It happens to us all :P
I'm sorry you are having nightmares , they. royally. suck. could you maybe get some sedatives from a Dr? they might help you sleep beyond dreams . I'm not sure but I think someone else suggested that but I wanted to make sure. *Huggles*

nicole94 14-12-2010 08:24 PM

*hugs everyone*
Felicia-I love that book. And the film. Eugh
I think it might be bath/bed time. Can't wait till today is over. Night everyone. Stay safe.

Doikers 14-12-2010 08:26 PM

Night Nicole , Sleep well hun :)

PsychoKitty2010 14-12-2010 08:33 PM

-hugs mark back- well according to my oh-so-wonderful husband, you're wrong. He thinks I'm stupid - he feels that he has to explain everything to me in great detail because I am too stupid to know. For instance, he was talking about something yesterday and decided to go into describing what the term "syncing" means - in full detail. I know what it means. But I'm too stupid to know anything. And as for the sedatives/sleeping pills, I go to see my doctor tomorrow. Gawd, I hate him. But I'm hoping he can prescribe me some. My husband also bitches at me for taking medication. He is a conspiracy theorist and believes they are poisoning me and I can do without them. I just want to be free...

-hugs nicole back-

-turns her head, thinking of the plans that she has made as well-

PoisonedApple 14-12-2010 08:37 PM

*hugs everyone*
Kitty, you aren't stupid for the amy/julie mistake... you'll get to know us and how thing like that go with time :)
(speaking of has anyone seen kat or becca around in the past while? i don't wander outside the ward on ryl much anymore but i haven't seen either of them in quite a while...)
I'm crimson by the way :)

Sorry for not answering you spotting me earlier Mark... there was a ton of pages to catch up on. and now i have info overload.

Doikers 14-12-2010 08:38 PM

*Hugs Kitty* I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. I really hope your Dr can help you tomorrow. :)

Doikers 14-12-2010 08:42 PM

I haven't heard from either Kat or Beck Crimson, :S *Is concerned a bit*
No worries on earlier though , I spot people all the time and the last 24 hours on here have been super busy , Info overload and a half :S

PsychoKitty2010 14-12-2010 08:45 PM

-hugs crimson and mark back- nice to meet you. I'm kitty. I'm the reject of the litter. -waves paw-

So...I have come up with a few different plans on how to...become free, so to speak. All of them will work, but I'm hoping for the perfect one. Might not find it though. As long as it does its trick, and sets me free, I guess... I just don't know the when factor yet. It depends on when I will have the money for the supplies (unless felicia will send me hers?) and I want to make sure its not right before any holidays. Or my moms or dads birthday.

-looks down at her wrists and ponders- I'm calm now. Calm. My head hurts. My eyes hurt. But I'm calm. I just want to be free. Just to be free. -repeats in a soft innocent voice- They won't go away...they won't stop...until I'm free...

Doikers 14-12-2010 08:52 PM

*Hugs Kitty* Please please don't go through with any suicide plans you have hun , we all have them in here and this place is a great place to get support , Please , if you feel like you would act on these urges come here , tell somebody , anyone you feel safe talking to online or offline .

PsychoKitty2010 14-12-2010 09:01 PM

-hugs mark- -whispers- I feel like acting on them...now. I...I'm kind of afraid, but at the same time, I welcome it. I am just so tired...

If it were 100% up to my counselor, I'd be locked away in a real psych ward right now. I dissociate, bad. When I do, a lot of times I harm and don't remember in the morning what happened...all I know is that I had harmed. But I don't have health insurance, and no money. So they can't just lock me up and throw away the key...unfortunately, help comes with a hefty price. At least, it does here in the great USA - I want to move out of this country so bad.

I am kinda scared, though. Being that I dissociate and stuff...I'm kinda scared that I might do something else or cut too deep and end up dying before I'm ready. I don't trust myself...I never can...I am the best of friends to others, I try my best to help and support, but I suck at helping myself. I just...can't afford it. -shrugs- It all boils down to money.

PsychoKitty2010 14-12-2010 09:03 PM

I will be back in a few minutes or so - shouldn't be longer than an hour. If it is...well...ya I'm saying it shouldn't be. I need to get food. xx

Doikers 14-12-2010 09:08 PM

Oh please please take good care of yourself if you possibly can Kitty *Hugs* Enjoy your food :)

Doikers 14-12-2010 09:09 PM

Right Wardmates I'm going to bed
*Night time hugs my wardies*
Catch you all tomorrow.
Stay safe .
Love you guys <3

risenfromperdition 14-12-2010 09:14 PM

*squishes anyone who wants*
love you guyssss

PoisonedApple 14-12-2010 09:15 PM

*hugs Mark goodnight and tucks him in*

FlyingNy 14-12-2010 09:37 PM

*Hugs Kitty* He did you know (Mark got me and Felicia mixed up) and I called my best friend Sarah once, despite the fact that back then I knew no one called Sarah in any way shape or form. It happens to the best of us. I forgot my own name once. I don't know exactly what I am going to do about it, but I won't let you go through with any plans. Is there really nowhere you can go other than being with your husband? If he is getting you down so much,is anywhere not better? I understand it's not so simple, but is there any way?

*Hugs rest of ward.*

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