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Detour. Derail 09-06-2008 08:55 PM

hehe I'll forgive you ;]

Zedebee 09-06-2008 08:55 PM

I know Laura I just...crazy Zed rah rah BLAH stuff *drwons it all with more vodka*

Alexx I reeeally absolutely understand what you mean. The job I've got now, I'm only bothering to go 'cause otherwise I'd be stuck home all day every day doing nothing so I do know how it is to just want to actually want to DO something

~*forever_broken*~ 09-06-2008 08:57 PM

*cuddles Helen, Alexx, Jess, Zed, Ku, and anyone else that needs/wants it*

I'm sorry, it seems like everyones having a rough time of it. I've nothing to offer though I wish I did... Pretty useless right now... Just flat and exhausted. But I love you guys, please take care *snuggles*

*retreats to her corner with her blanket, stuffed lamb, pillow and kitty and attempts a nap*

Kuwairo 09-06-2008 09:02 PM

PM me Zed hun if you want to talk...be careful with the vodka...

*hugs forever lost* sorry I don't know your name...are you ok?

Zedebee 09-06-2008 09:12 PM

*cuddles Ally and sings a lullaby to help you sleep*

To be honest...I hate talking about stuff 'cause I feel so guilty...so I just stay quiet....and I drink...and drink...and drink...and I don't seem to know when I've had 'too much' and just...*shrug* I just keep talking rubbish and drinking and then in the morning I can't remember and I drink s'more and then I come baack here and see the crap I've spouted and hate myself and promise never to talk again but...here I am...

Kuwairo 09-06-2008 09:16 PM

^ i do the same when i've been drinking. even in this thread, it hurts to read. but talking is supposed to be good right? and most people are more honest when drunk, so maybe it's good to talk when drunk?
i feel guilty for talking too, and then i get stubborn. but we all have to sometimes.
you don't need to feel guilty for talking on here, not to me, not to anyone.

MammaMia 09-06-2008 09:19 PM

Thanks guys.

I don't know what's wrong with me. Might be PMT actually. My peroids are normally regular, and yeah the date changes every now & then but I can handle that. My peroid was late either last time or the time before *doesn't remember*. Just shows you how stressed I am, mine is late again I think? Gaaaah. I'm worried about being on when I'm on hols but really cannot stand taking pills anymore >.< Besides I already have to take a pill every day a week before I fly, during the holiday & then 4 weeks after.

Help? :(

Kuwairo 09-06-2008 09:21 PM

That sounds shitty hun, pmt is a bugger. And being late is always a worry, but worrying about it makes you more stressed which makes it later! *hugs*
Have you explained all this to the doc? As in taking pills etc...Could you maybe take them until after your holiday, so that you won't be on during?

MammaMia 09-06-2008 09:23 PM

I haven't seen a doc about it yet :(

Kuwairo 09-06-2008 09:27 PM

That's ok. Maybe you should mention it if it's bothering you a lot? I used to always be at the docs about periods and such...pain in the arse but worth doing.

Zedebee 09-06-2008 09:50 PM

I agree with Laura
*cuddles ye both*

MammaMia 09-06-2008 10:02 PM

Thanks *cuddles*

I really don't know wtf is wrong with me. It almost makes me dread to be happy :(

Kuwairo 09-06-2008 10:04 PM

Only almost hun, that's good. Fight it, don't let this stop you being happy.
Find out? Maybe it's just not so good a day today?

MammaMia 09-06-2008 10:08 PM

I am too ill and tired to fight anymore.
Yeah maybe I'm just having an off day.
*cuddles back*

I wanna see my Emsie. NOW. (i.e. both emma's ;))

Kuwairo 09-06-2008 10:12 PM

You can always fight hun. And when it's hard, that's when you let us help you.
I don't know you but I reckon you can fight this.

blondiebear 09-06-2008 10:34 PM

Client didn't show up. So much for the new tool. I'm having one of those "what am I doing with my life?" days. Not a lot of work in house. I actually cut out a couple of things for myself, petticoats. However those don't pay anything.

I want a couple of things tomorrow from the fabric store anyway. The small store. Wonder if they need anyone on Monday and Wednesday mornings?

I'm also trying to toughen up against the heat. It is 80F, 27C and I'm definately damp. But I don't know what has happened to electric rates and want to economise.

Hugs all around.

effervescence 10-06-2008 12:00 AM

heh, 27C. I've been in 44C before...... you'll get used to it.
get a fan? one of those oscillating ones. much cheaper than air con and you can point it straight at you.

i was going to say something.......what was it? i cant remember.....damn.

i have my chemistry exam tomorrow and i'm **** scared. cell and molecular bio was pretty hard but this will be awful. they haven't taught us properly.

blondiebear 10-06-2008 12:12 AM

yeah, 44 is high. but if I'm working outside in the sun at 27 i can get heatsick. But then my friends say if I'm wearing long pants it must be cold.

I think all of the fans are in the garage. the study is in the east of the house so it is cooler now.

MammaMia 10-06-2008 12:57 AM

I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired

~*forever_broken*~ 10-06-2008 01:31 AM

*hugs Chloe, Ku, Zed, Helen, and Blondie-mom*

Hey Ku, I go by Ally here (part of my origional user name) but my given name is Alyssa. As to whether or not I'm ok... No, I don't think so... But maybe a lot of sleep will help it *shrug*

Zed, I understand, I do the same when I'm drunk *cuddles*. Nothing to feel bad about hun, we all understand, most of us do the same I think :pinch:. I hope you take care sweetie.

Susan-mom, I wish I had some advice... I am sorry you are feeling so adrift atm *snuggles* I hope you can find something to do sweetie.

Helen, I agree with Chloe and Ku, dr might be the best idea if you don't want to have it for your holiday.

Chloe, how goes it hun? *cuddles* Hanging in there? Hope the exam goes well, chemistry is a bear esp if the instructor isn't good. I've got confidence in you sweetie, you'll do fine.

~*forever_broken*~ 10-06-2008 01:58 AM

*deep breath*
Deep cut... Hurts just a bit... Took me a while... Probably the longest deep one I've ever done too... *phewww*

*hugs everyone*

blondiebear 10-06-2008 03:52 AM

Alyssa dear daughter, stitches needed? Found a job or apartment yet?

Yeah, I'll figure things out. Spent the afternoon in chat, enjoyed it. Still have one job to do.

Tire place messed up fixing the tire, was sooo flat when my husband left work. So I got hubby at work then dropped him off at his mom's so we can borrow her pickup truck. It is old, needs a lot of oil and Rosemom is out so our thank you gift will be a case of oil. I have a great mom in law.

I really should take advantage of this lull in my work to sleep and spend some time with my abuse workbook too. I just like to be busy, it keeps me from feeling.

~*forever_broken*~ 10-06-2008 04:12 AM

Stitches? Yes, but I am very good at butterfling so it's all good.

Hmm, you know, dear mother, catching up on sleep is another way you can keep from feeling hun...

Sorry, I've got no good advice:pinch: too tired I guess

blondiebear 10-06-2008 04:16 AM

That's okay. Catching up on sleep can help me deal with my feelings too, have the energy to think and cope.

I'm going to go slurp some ramen for supper.

MammaMia 10-06-2008 02:02 PM


Originally Posted by ~*forever_lost*~ (Post 835195)
*hugs Chloe, Ku, Zed, Helen, and Blondie-mom*

Helen, I agree with Chloe and Ku, dr might be the best idea if you don't want to have it for your holiday.

Thanks :thumbup:

blondiebear 10-06-2008 03:09 PM

When will I get enough sleep?

MammaMia 10-06-2008 04:19 PM

I am wondering the same for myself :(

*hugs Susan*

zowie 10-06-2008 04:33 PM

I had ward round today. They said they wanted to keep me in for another week, but I lied through my teeth and said I was feeling much better and could I please go home?
Since I was informal, they let me come home. I'm not any better but hospital wasn't really helping.
I haven't lost my job. But in a way I'm not happy about that. Yeah, I need the cash, but no I'm not in the right frame of mind.
I have work tomorrow. I have cuts all down my arms and the uniform's short sleeved. ****.

blondiebear 10-06-2008 04:53 PM

Zowie, no way to wear a long sleeve shirt under your uniform shirt? I've done that.

zowie 10-06-2008 04:59 PM

No, they're really strict about uniform there :(

MammaMia 10-06-2008 05:14 PM

*hugs Zowie lots and lots*

Ugh I want these nightmares to STOP :(

~*forever_broken*~ 10-06-2008 05:49 PM

*hugs Susan, Helen, and Zowie*

Helen, Susan, TOTALLY understand about the sleep thing:yawn:

Zowie*snuggles* my uniform at work is also short sleeved... I know this won't work for everyone and I am not saying that it's easy... What I do is just distance myself from my cuts/scars... I don't think about them... I can even go so far as to notice them out of the corner of my eye but not even acknowledge what they are or that they're mine (weird I know, but sometimes disociation rocks)... And when people ask what happened to my arm I say 'Nothing', 'A lot of things' or 'I did'... And if they keep pushing I just flat out tell them... Shuts them up faster than anything. But like I said, that won't work for everyone. *snuggles* Good luck sweetie.

blondiebear 10-06-2008 06:41 PM

*Hugs Zowie, Helen and Ally*

Zowie, there is also the kind of wise crack answer that they can't argue with, like a fight with a rose bush. Attacked by a tiger that got loose from the zoo, shark bite.

How is everyone else today. Ally dear, how are you?

I'm off to get my blood pressure meds, lunch on my way to a meeting and then grocery shopping on the way home. I have been wanting hot buttered toast since we got home.

Hugs all

MammaMia 10-06-2008 06:53 PM

Hugs everybody

I just counted how many pairs of shoes I have and I'm impressed =D

Kuwairo 10-06-2008 06:56 PM

^ how many?

blondiebear sounds like a good day =) toast is a random craving...

zowie 10-06-2008 07:38 PM

Thanks guys. I'll try detachting myself from them, that's a good idea that might work for me.
I still feel pretty bad, starting to regret leaving the hospital. I can't even tell anyone because they'll scorn me for leaving hospital.

~*forever_broken*~ 10-06-2008 07:43 PM

Mmm, toast.

Hey Ku, how goes it?

I just ran around town doing some errands... Got a new drivers licence, some champagne, paid the bills I had left for uni (so I can actually get my diploma), found out that I don't have enough to pay my other bills :-(... Went to the apartment I was trying to get into and learned I was approved *phew*... And now I'm home to do some packing and some resting... I am EXHAUSTED.

*hugs everyone*

~*forever_broken*~ 10-06-2008 07:44 PM

*snuggles Zowie*
I'm sorry sweetie... Please remember you've got us here *cuddles*

Kuwairo 10-06-2008 07:50 PM


Originally Posted by ~*forever_lost*~ (Post 837172)
Hey Ku, how goes it?

Hey. Not the best of times but hey, I'm alive.
Get some rest hun, and is there any way of getting the money you need?

*hugs zowie* if you wanna be back in hospital then try your best to get the help you need hun, and if they scorn you then ignore them cos they're not worth your upset.

MammaMia 10-06-2008 08:02 PM


Originally Posted by Kuwairo (Post 837065)
^ how many?

blondiebear sounds like a good day =) toast is a random craving...

I love toast hehe :) Well I have 17, but I'm getting rid of one pair, so 16 :cool:


Originally Posted by ~*forever_lost*~ (Post 837172)
I just ran around town doing some errands... Got a new drivers licence, some champagne, paid the bills I had left for uni (so I can actually get my diploma), found out that I don't have enough to pay my other bills :-(... Went to the apartment I was trying to get into and learned I was approved *phew*... And now I'm home to do some packing and some resting... I am EXHAUSTED.

*hugs everyone*

*snuggles* Well done on the good stuff hun. Now you should sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep :hop:

~*forever_broken*~ 10-06-2008 08:10 PM

Aww, sorry to hear it Ku, but glad you're still hanging in there hun.

Wow Helen, good job... *wonders how many shoes SHE has...*

Sleep? Ah I wish... Maybe in a few hours... Need to pack.

Kuwairo 10-06-2008 08:16 PM

Nice amount there Helen =)
Don't overdo it Ally hun

Katch 10-06-2008 08:25 PM

Just wanted to come in and say Hello to everyone - sorry i haven't see you all in ages - i have missed you all.
I come bearing cookies and ice cream if anyone wants any and I've also got enough hugs for everyone to have as many as they need. xxx

Kuwairo 10-06-2008 08:30 PM

*hugs katch*
ello =) how are you?

Katch 10-06-2008 08:35 PM

No too bad actually - but it's been a very tough few days (quite a few days) - I don't think I have met you yet - - look forward to getting to know you.

Auburn Shadow 10-06-2008 08:41 PM

*hugs everyone*

Sorry... I have nothing to offer at the moment... I don't know what happened... I was fine... really was, but recently? I don't know which way is up anymore... it scares me... I just... I wish everything could go back to how it used to be... how it was before I first cut... before all the bad stuff happened... before... before I pushed everyone away... before everything... *sigh* sorry. I'll go and hide again now.

Katch 10-06-2008 08:45 PM

hey Hana,
Sorry you are feeling so down at the moment. You dont have to hide though you can come out and chat about anything you want or need to - might not have the answers for you but I do have a good pair of listening ears and still plenty of hugs left

Kuwairo 10-06-2008 08:49 PM

I'm a new vet katch. =) i'm glad you're ok today, and sorry it's been a tough few days!

And Hana, I can't say it better than Katch. But I'm here if you need me.

Auburn Shadow 10-06-2008 08:53 PM

Thanks guys. There's nothing to talk about though... I don't know what happened, I don't know why I feel like I do, it's stupid though... I feel rubbish, but I don't know why, maybe I'm just being stupid... yeah, that's probably all it is. Not knowing why just brings me down further though... *shrug* I dunno. :s

Katch 10-06-2008 08:59 PM

Hana, dont be hard on yourself just coz you dont know the reason - that happens to everyone and it can happen at the flick of a switch. You just need to give yourself a bit of time and be nice to yourself. It could just be a hormonal thing or anything - but just remember we are here if you need us - and if you want to cha about anything - even the weather - wow it was hot today.

Ku, i think you joined Vets just as i left for a few days. Hope you find RYL as amazingly supportive as I do - they really are a fantastic group of people

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