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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Scarletdreamer 23-03-2010 10:26 AM

Mark, for me it's fine. It's mostly IRL contact that is uncomfortable for me. I'd say don't worry about it... sorry!! :-S *hugs* Oh, and I'm scared that the SI wasn't just a blip, because I'm feeling triggered this morning and really want to cut. :(

Yey for Paramore, Flyleaf, and Superchick!! You should also try Skillet. :D "Hero" and "The Last Night" are my favorites of theirs... :)

*cuddles Kahlia* Sorry I didn't respond to your post sooner... I hope that the depression lifts for you too. It sucks to be in that low spot for oh so long - how long has it been now??

*hides in a dark corner*

Doikers 23-03-2010 10:36 AM

Ok April *Thanx* You are putting me onto so many new bands my bank account will never cope at this rate :P I'll have to be sensible and just check out Superchick for now . *Hugs you and hopes the trigger goes away* and no sorry's! I seem to remember you telling me that was the rule in here :)

Possible trigger S.I.







There was something else but it's gone clean out of my mind *sigh*
*I'm feeling kind of odd , calmer but still anxious , I HATE to admit it but S.I. helped me this morning , helped me to calm , but deep down I've still got THAT knot of tension and I still feel flat and crap. Ugh.

Kahlia1981 23-03-2010 11:19 AM

April - It's been 10 weeks since the depression started. I have lifted a little, but am still definitely depressed.

*hugs everyone then disappears into the darkness*

PrincessSparkle 23-03-2010 11:52 AM

Hey Nicole how you today?Home safe in your own bed yet? *hugs* Doikers (mark?) haha yeah...HMV is eveil they take all my money...and ticketmaster...no fair! April from what I hear you've been doing really well just try and stay motivated and strong so you wont do it again! Hmm.I have no intention of starting to SI but I think I need to let go of mask because its kinda driving me crazy.But that means talking to my lil sis and Im not sure how that conversation will go...scary!

Doikers 23-03-2010 12:07 PM

Hey Sparkle , Yeah I'm called Mark :) , Good luck with your conversation with your little Sis * Hugs*

PrincessSparkle 23-03-2010 12:17 PM

Teenagers are scary... Specially when you suddenly have to be parent instead of big sister and they dont take anything you say seriously.. I wanna talk to her and chat about whether or not she's still SI and if maybe she'd be better of in foster care than with me but how do I do that without being patronising or making her think I'm getting rid of her? :( I kinda ran away to BF's Sunday nite, now I gotta hitch home cos Im broke... Life sucks! *apologies for ranting just sad confused and scared*

SoMuchMore 23-03-2010 01:16 PM

*cuddles helen* im so sorry about your dog.

*cuddles april* like everyone else has said, one slip up does not have to change all the good work u've done this year. I know after a slip up it can be hard to imagine not doing it again, but slip ups are a part of recovery (as im sure u already know). Hang in there.

*hugs mark* I dont think u should stop coming around here and I'm sorry that you feel flat... I agree that sometimes music can be the death of the bank account lol. Thank goodness my parents got me an itunes card for my birthday last week otherwise i wouldve spent a lot of money lately :-)

*hugs sparkle* Good luck with your sister! Be safe getting home.

*hugs kahlia* Being stuck in depression for so long really sucks. I hope it continues to life.

I feel like I am loosing my head. There is so much going on up there heh. I talked to my friend last night and he thought it was good that I am telling some other people about my SI stuff... but idk, ever since i did I have felt this constant urge to SI, and I have cut.. not too badly but still... Still he thinks its a move in the right direction, so maybe it is... maybe im just too much of a broken person to make good of a positive thing..

I'm off to class for now.. so sleepy.

PoisonedApple 23-03-2010 03:50 PM

*wanders in and waves*
How is everyone this morning?
Sorry for no replies but there were just too many since I was last in and I just couldn't sit and read all the pages...

MammaMia 23-03-2010 03:53 PM

I'm going mad.
I posted in here earlier & can't find it :|

CrazyHayley 23-03-2010 06:06 PM

*group huggles all in ward*

I started to write a post last night but then my partner came home after a hideous day from work so I got sidetracked with him...we put on '24' to relax to!

Anyhoo, my monsterous ear is still on my head for now. *sigh of relief* I've been given a further 2weeks of super duper antibiotics whilst I wait to see the ENT specialist again. My GP said its up to him on whether he wants me to have the surgery or whether he's prepared to keep me on a low dose of antibiotics for possibly the rest of my life!! Um, surely you'd think that would actually be up to me?!!! I'm trying not to freak out about it, after all, freaking out about it won't actually change the situation....I'm just glad I've been given this news on day 4of my cycle and not in PMDD time, otherwise I'd be probably trying to do the operation myself! eek!

I had emotional morning, my godson who is 3went missing, only for 10minutes and he was found by the police, but even so, those were a horrendus 10minutes. He is the closest I will ever have to a child of my own and if his mum hadn't got pregnant with him I wouldn't be alive today. I felt so so sick with worry. He just finds the whole situation funny and told me "I want to go running again so I can go in police car. It was great fun!" Oh dear! I'm just so relieved that he's ok. I'm picking him up from nursery tomorrow, so I hope he doesn't do a runner on me!

Doikers 23-03-2010 07:01 PM

I just worte a super long post and am so frustrated as it would'nt post .
My Dad keep coming by twice a week EVERY week I feel like he is checking up on me and it's an invasion of my privacy , he's always asking questions , how are you? are you taking care of yourself ? For crying out loud I am a 29 year old guy TRYING to be independent , I have a support worker I don't need this , he even goes through my mail . How do I get him to back off without hurting his feelings . TOday he grabbed my arm right where I had cut today , it hurt and I had to hide it.
Sorry I can't post individual replies again .
I hope this post makes sence I am struggling finding the right words to express myself and what order to put them in UGH IDIOT , TOTAL IDIOT!!!

CrazyHayley 23-03-2010 07:58 PM

*huggles mark* its soo frustrating when you write something out and then it won't post and then you can't get the words out again. You are not an idiot, you are a human being who is struggling. Don't belittle yourself, you deserve more. As for how to tell you dad to back off without hurting his feelings. That is perhaps a tough one, as I don't know your dad and how he would take things and obviously is doing things because he cares and thinks he is helping. I too know how it feels to try and be independant and it all going wrong, but I have learnt to blurt things out now. When I told my mum about my SI last year she wanted me to move back home, my response was "no offense, but I'd be worse, probably suicidal if I moved back in!" So yeah tact isn't one of my stronger points, but I was brought up to tell the truth. I seem to be one or the other, tell the truth or compeltely hide the truth from everyone. I have yet to discover the middle ground.

Gosh what a lot of waffling for not really any advice - sorry! I guess I'm just trying to say I do understand and you're not alone. hmm...

Its time for me to go on my wii fit, I've not done it in about a week since it told me I'd put on weight and would struggle to reach my goal :( But not going on it isn't going to rectify that situation and the main reason I got it was for physio beneifits not for monitoring my bmi. hmmm....

*breathes in, thinks light thoughts and gets out wii fit*

PoisonedApple 23-03-2010 08:13 PM

*huggles mark and hayley*
I've contemplated on your situation Mark but all in all I can't think of anything but what Hayley told you... I don't know your dad so I have no real advice to give aside from explaining you aren't trying to be offensive but ... then explain how you feel.

Hayley~ I know how you feel about the wiifit... I should use mine more but I hate when it tells me if I gained or when I don't meet my goal, etc etc... if only there was a way to not have a goal and still play.
But I also got a 5 day workout series (each day is different - stability ball cardio, pilates, yoga, tai chi, stength training) and quit for 2 weeks because I couldn't find disc 3. I get bored easily with things that repeat and some days when my knee is worse rather than better I just can't do the strength training so I was down to 3 of 5 discs... *shakes head* But we found my disc last night :)
Have you tried the golds gym boxing one (for the wii)? It's good cardio wise. and you can even change your 'environment' if you get bored easily with repetitiveness like me.

Ok I'm just rambling now... so I'll wander off and pop in again later.
Gotta call the local bed bath and beyond and see if they have the yogurt maker I want up here...

Scarletdreamer 23-03-2010 08:22 PM

*peeks in again*

I am so freaking tired. But uni is over for the day, at least... hopefully I'll be able to get at least one assignment churned out tonight somehow, I don't know how though. My brain is almost completely nonfunctional at this point, other than wanting SI so ****ing badly that it SCREAMS at me to go get a blade, even though my husband will be home any minute.

Mark, I don't really have any advice to offer you other than what Crimson & Hayley said... sorry. Just be as polite as you can... hopefully relations won't be damaged. *squishes* I'm sorry that he's been butting in on your business - he has no right to do that really, I mean yes, he's your dad and he cares about you, but that's not the right way to show it. Maybe give him some alternatives?

I'm not doing too well myself, as could probably be gathered. Sorry not many individual replies, am stuck in my own head and just need to vent - which is probably why I shall venture over to my r/v thread in a bit... *sigh*

Really don't feel up to going out to get groceries tonight but it looks like we'll have to as we're running out of food. :-/ Kind of. Maybe we could finish off the salmon... that would be kind of tasty. My appetite's really, really been gone since last Thursday when the anxiety hit, so it's hard to find things that I am willing to eat/drink. It sucks beyond belief... :( ...or maybe it's my ED popping up again, I don't know, maybe both.

*hides some more after a group cuddle* :(

CrazyHayley 23-03-2010 09:26 PM

*huggles april and crimson* we can never have too many huggles right?! Well, as long as they're from the right people with correct intnetions!

Well I've knackered myself out on the wii fit. I'd had a weeks break, naughty naughty, my physio wouldn't be impressed. I hadn't deteriorated too badly but it is amazing to see how quickly I can improve and then get worse again. I'm not too sure how I'll feel in a few hours or even tomorrow as often with M.E, the damaging effects of an activity show up delayed. But I've got to do something to try and improve myself, otherwise I'd loose all hope. 2010 is the year for me to get rid of my walking stick I've decided!!

*goes out to the smoking shelter as realises is gasping for one!*

CrazyHayley 23-03-2010 09:48 PM

I just ventured out of the safety of the virtual psych ward into chat ...dundundun!!!! I lurked for about, oh 1minute and then decided it was all far too much for me and I've come back in here.

*grabs hold of Kahlia for huggle as wants to hold onto something that is safe and known to her* ....sorry, someone, not something! I can see you're reading this thread atm as I type!

Oh my goodness, when did I become such a whimp that I even struggle with internet interaction?! Maybe its just 'cos its the end of the day for me? Meds and bedtime for me soon.

Kahlia1981 23-03-2010 09:57 PM

*hugs Hayley* - It's okay hun.

It's almost 8 am here. Another "lovely" day in Oz. ... Ha. On that point ... when the cyclone was threatening the coast, one of my friends was stating that we might wake up in Kansas because we started out in Oz.

*hugs everyone*

CrazyHayley 23-03-2010 10:03 PM

Lol about the kansas thingymabob :) thats my sense of humour

It's not late late here, only 10pm, but 'cos of how my night meds make me drowsy and are in my system for about 10-12hours, if I don't take them shortly after 10pm I end up wasting away a lot of the next day! I know at 28 I should be able to stay up til midnight and then rise before 8am and not have a problem, but with M.E and medications that is beyond my capabilities. I do often feel that I'm sleeping or resting my life away, but on that matter, the choice has been taken away from me. If I could change it, I would.

*group huggles everyone in ward*
*toddles off to take her meds and get tucked up with her teddy bear*

I hope people have a good and safe day/night. xxxxxxxx

PoisonedApple 23-03-2010 10:30 PM

Good morning Kahlia!
Good night Hayley!

MammaMia 24-03-2010 12:36 AM

*curls up and hides*

Scared.
So scared.
:'(


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