*Squishes Charlie* I'm sorry you are having urges , could you get rid of your tools before you get another urges , Into the River (With your phone :P) or flush them ? Start trying the techniques again , going From 1st to last ?

*Night time Hugs my Wardies*

I have got rid of my blades, but I can get new ones. And I want to. I don't care about it anymore. I just need it now. I can manage tonight, but tomorrow morning.....I'm looking forward to this. Does that make me sick?
*Night time Hugs Mark*

It just gets hard. We all go through difficult times. tell yourself that you are better than that; that you are strong because you are we wouldn't have you any other way and we loooovvveee you

*SQUISH*

*Hugs Charlie* You've done so well, you've managed to earn yourself your 1 month free bracelet :)

****. My friend is asking my really awkward questions. She saw my legs today. I haven't cut, but I had written in black marker everything I think about myself. I was wearing a dress but it's knee length and I had tights on so I thought it would be okay but now she's asking about them...

Exactly Lia so I deserve a little relax right?

I just don't want you to regret it so much you do something stupid or just generally feel like ****.

Great all I could think of to reply to my friend's text asking about the writing on my legs was 'well this racoon came in and it was possessed by a piece of Voldermort's soul, so as I was innocently changing for school it came at my with my marker pen from my whiteboard and began a vicious attack. I fought it off but I was already late for school so I had to go with it." That's even worse than the excuse 'I'm baking a hedghog for Prince Charles' anniversary'.

It's just....I'm getting to the point again that i'm having so many urges to self harm which I have to fight, I'm getting suicidal again.

I like that actually! :) you are fine. that is better than actually hurting yourself

NO CHARLIE *tackles and smothers in armes* pleeeeeeeeeeaaaassssseee dooonnnnttttt! :(

Thats My point....it's like, the lesser of two evils. I can't fight both...

If you really feel you need to, no one was expecting you to go cold turkey. You can come off the self harm slowly. Do it once a day, then twice a week, then once a week, twice a month, once a month etc.

I am loving wearing my one month free but...I don't want to go back to being a suicidal mess, or worse-making attempts and even maybe succeeding. Self harms just more....safe?

It is. But you can beat this permently. You just have to do it slowly. I won't stop you if you feel it's best for you, because as you said, the alternative is worse. I just don't want you to beat yourself up over it. Like I said, come off slowly, become less dependant bit my bit.

Maybe I will feel better in the morning though. Hopefully. The longer I can manage the better. I wanted to wear short sleeves tomorrow if the weather was the same as it was today. 18 degrees here.

thats the spirit!

*g'night hugs Mark*
That's the spirit Charlie *extra squishy huggles*
I like your answer *glomps Lia*
*hugs Megz*

Thanks guys *Cuddles*
I'm not completley sure about the short sleeves. I would love to but....

elbow gloves?