*hugs Susan* Thanks :)

The sooner I can get out of this house, the better. But... I can't. I've got to stay here until... well who knows anymore. Don't know if I can even go back to university in September anymore. I just... I don't know. *sigh* Parents only make the whole thing worse, but... I can't get away from them, I just can't.

i havent been in here in ages.
but i think its time for me to settle in for a while.
*snuggles up with my blankie*
*sucks thumb while no one is looking*

*hugs you*

*gives you teddy bear and pillow*

Hi Rach, how you doing?
*hugs susan back*
*hugs hana*

Want to OD, but my dad's in charge of my meds so I don't know where they are.

im not well.
im sorry.
cant seem to shake it.
but i am so so so fortunate and grateful to have Kelly (my wife). she loves me through it all.
thanks for asking zowie.
*gives you squishy snuggles*
loves.
xxxxx

*snuggles back*
I'm sorry you're feeling so bad at the moment hun, I wish there was something I could do.
And you don't need to appologise :)

I'm not well either, seriously want to OD. Dad's upstairs, might use this opportunit to look for my meds. xx

Zowie, please don't.
*makes sure Rachels' blanket is well tucked in.*
*makes sure everyone who wants or needs a hug has one.*

My turn. My friend who has been in hospital has run away from hospital. *worries*

I'm back.
Miss me much?
Probably not...
I felt great last night....until this girl turned up...4ft something tall...blonde...about a size 6...compared to my 5ft 8, dyed red (normally a bland shade of brown) size 12/14 self....and yes...my mate (the guy whose party it was..) was lost to everyone but her...so i had to make EXTRA effort to meet people so i wasnt alone...
by the end of the party...i was sat in the toilet...drunk out of my face...comtemplating on throwing up all the food i'd ate...

*hugs everyone*

Guys are dorks Alex. You're a stunner :)

Guess who has one packed suitcase (except toothpaste :P) in her room? XD

I take exception to that hells! I am a geek but not a dork. :P

ME?!?! :-D
*goes to look* oh...no...no its not me..

*triggering SI/smoking*
 

I think.... I need to check in here... I'm trying so hard not to cut, but I feel like I'm going to cave any minute. I made this deal with my boyfriend 2-3 years ago that I wouldn't cut if he didn't smoke. He hasn't touched a cigarette since that day, but I've broken my end. He has the right to have a smoke since I've cut, but he still hasn't. He knows it would devastate me, so he's stayed strong even though he didn't have to. I feel like I've failed him. I hadn't cut in 19 months or something like that, and then I failed. Now, I'm 2 months, a week, and a day clean. But I'm so close to resetting the counter. I don't know what to do...:crying:

Keep fighting hun, you havent failed, you slipped up thats all...everyone makes mistakes, but the important thing is how you come back from that...
Your boyfriend doesnt want to see you hurting...thats all...can you speak to him now? maybe tell him whats making you feel like this?
it doesnt matter whether you go 2 days or 2 years...not cutting for ANY length of time is an achievement....
why not try congratulating yourself for reaching 2 months, 1 week and 1 day instead of getting yourself down over slipping up?
*hugs you lots and gives you a blanket*

I'm sorry Alex...but it's me :P

Thanks... *fights off tears* :crying: And I'm sorry if I'm stealing attention from anyone else. I didn't really bother to read the last few posts of this thread. Steve (my bf) is on a trip right now with his family. He should get back today, but I won't be able to see him because my mother only allows us two days a week to see each other. She says that I base my entire life around my boyfriend. Steve is my anti-SI reason. Not being able to see him when I need him really damages my efforts... I'm 17 and he's 19, but we're still limited my parents who don't understand the need...

DAMMIT ><




wait.....



that means its nearly time for you to go away....



DAMN ><

dont worry hun....I have low days where I cant face reading other posts...it doesnt mean youre stealing attention *cuddles*
Thats really silly :/
Im 17 and I was 'involved' with a 21 year old at the start of the year...my mum had a major problem with it....but after me disobeying what she said a few times...she got the message and backed off...(too late though..:/)
I dont want to cause a family row...I know rocking the boat at home would make you feel worse...but what if you told your mum you want to see Steve more. Make a comprimise? say you'll see him X number of days a week and in return you'll do something she wants you to do?(if that makes sense)
Does your mum know about your SI?

I've already tried to get more time with him, but she absolutely refuses. I told her I used to cut, but she doesn't know I still do. Both she and Dad think it's "just stupid." It's not stupid to me... It's how I cope... It's the only thing that makes me feel alive apart from being with Steve. With Steve, I feel like I'm supposed to. I can feel emotions other than sadness, hopelessness, and depression. I feel safe with him. Mom just doesn't understand that. And she refuses to try to let me explain it. She just turns everything against me when I try to talk to her. I can't take it anymore! *bites her lip and grab hold of the blanket to keep from scratching herself*

I know sweety...its awful...you're young...so you're mum thinks that whatever you feel or do or say is silly yeh? well....as long as YOU know she's wrong...and Steve loves you and you love him too...thats all that matters...
When will you be 18? I dont know about in the USA but here in "sunny" ole' england...you are classed as an adult at 18...then YOU will have control over your life...not her...you can tell her to stuff off if you really want to...
Please hun...stay strong...for us...for Steve...for yourself.
PM me if you need to..
*hugs*
xxx

I just had my birthday a few weeks ago, so I have to wait nearly a whole year before I'm 18. The whole situation sucks...