ewww, chocolate and peanut butter sounds horrible!! although i did have jam and peanut butter sandwich when I was in America visiting my cousins and I liked it, but I was about 8.
*cuddles April* you will get through the next week, just take it one thing at a time and try not to panic.

back at uni today, keep having random periods where I feel really ill, was in a good mood but now got a decision to make, I know what I want to do, but its not that bloody simple, wish it was. severe chest and back pain and got to walk to supermarkt to get food and dont feel well, but I'll look weak and pathetic if I don't go.

*cuddles Hayley & Oliver* I'm sorry that you two aren't feeling the best... Hayley, good to see you back around!! I've missed having a fellow WoW-player to chat with... who actually understands what I'm talking about. ;) Get the rest that you need and catch up when/if you can... don't worry about it if you can't. *more cuddles* It's funny, isn't it, how we don't notice how awful we are until someone points it out? (although I'm sure you weren't THAT bad...)

*more cuddles for Oliver too* I'm sorry that you feel ill... why would you look weak/pathetic if you didn't go to the grocery store? *is confused* Congrats though, on the wonderful performances - you sound absolutely brilliant!! :D And we love hearing about each other's accomplishments, so please don't feel badly about posting yours. :)

You don't have Reese's stuff over in the UK? *gasp* Or the ice cream that's vanilla with chocolate peanut butter cups? :-O I don't know if I could survive over there!! lol... just kidding. But really, chocolate & pb is amazing. And pb&j sandwiches aren't an "in" thing in the UK either? Geez, we Americans must seem awfully odd!! :P

Hels, JK, Kahlia, Crimson, Laura, Mark *cuddles lots and lots* How are you all doing?

Just got back from the booksale (remember, the one I was telling you about last week? where it's cheap and lovely?). I spent ~$30 on books, but I got two bags full instead of your "average" TWO BOOKS from a place like Barnes & Noble or Borders. So yeh... am happy. It is mostly light reading stuff, but I also got a book of essays by the author of The Bridges of Madison County (dunno if you've heard of him, but he's pretty well known to the scholarly types, at least by name). Anyway... I'm happy with my purchases and plan to go back (GASP!!!)... hopefully not spend quite as much though. :-/

We decided to do the refer-a-friend account thing on WoW... so we get a toon on the RAF account to level 60, then she can grant 30 levels (total) to whichever toons I pick on my normal account. :D Plus, I get an awesome "zhevra" (basically a unicorn/zebra cross) for my main toon, which is awesome. Hehe. My first RAF toon, a priest, is already level... umm... 23? I think, and we just started yesterday. Leveling up with my mage right now (who just dinged level 29). Woohoo. :D I'm loving it... although it basically means running through dungeons again and again and again. BUT - I'll stop waffling about WoW. Soz to those who don't play or understand or care about video games. :o

*cuddles all some more*

*huggles everybody*

So damn tired. It's 1:42 am and I can't sleep. Our downstairs neighbours are playing music and talking so load that I'm sitting here and I could probably transpose what they are saying .... My Dragon program could probably pick it up quite clearly. And with what they are talking about they really wouldn't like that.

Oliver: Your talking about your concerts makes me want to pick up my flute again. I loved travelling with all our Orchestras, performing in shows for a huge variety of groups and, of course, competing when I could. I really hate the fact that I may never play again due to one of the medications I was put on in the past. *sigh* Sorry, you don't need to hear my woes. I hope you start to feel better soon.

Sorry guys. I'm really not feeling all that well this morning/tonight/whatever you want to call it, and am not really up to individual replies. If you've ever heard that saying If you get to the end of your rope tie a big knot and hang on ... then I'm gripping that knot so tight that I'm getting blisters.

Sometimes all you can ask for is for the pain to stop and everything to just end...

*hugs Kahlia* Keep on holding on... never heard that saying before but it works for me. :) You'll make it... we all will - but I do understand what you mean. Wish I could do something that could help you. :( *cuddles*

Just updated r/v thread with what happened over the past while... :-/

*cuddles everyone and then hides*

Sorry for no individual replies but my eyes are bothering me a bit this morning so I thought it best not to read through all 5 pages I since I was last on (hoping to stave off a migraine)...

Yesterday sucked... The library didn't send me a notice to renew my books like they usually do then sent me an overdue notice 5 days after they got over due so now I owe 1.25$ each for 3 books... I'm gonna talk to them about that this afternoon because if I had been sent my renewal notice (like every other time I've checked out a book in the last year) I would have renewed it online like I usually do. And I found out that J said something racist referring to the president while talking to my 7 yr old 1/2 Thai daughter yesterday... *points to self* NOT HAPPY *stops pointing* I explained to her after I found out and in private why not to say it and what it means and such and told her if anything like that is said again no matter what word is used or what race it's about to tell D (I work he doesn't) so we know - in case my sister in law isn't there next time- and told D about it. We don't let family talk like that around us (let alone our kids... G is oldest at 7.5) so we won't be having a friend do so either. D let M know if J does so around him he'll just haul off and slap her and that that will not be tolerated at our place and even though M and V were both there when it happened when he told M anything racist that comes out of her mouth is unacceptable M goes "why?what did she say?" and then acted like saying "don't tell anyone but I don't think a n****r should be president" was acceptable to say to a 7 yr old child... she really didn't see how that was a problem. I know people can get blinded by friendship and want so much for someone to be a good person they become ignorant of their wrong doings but that's a bit too much for me. If I catch her say it myself I'm gonna tell her the baby can stay until she has her own place and a way to take care of her but J is gone. I won't put an infant on the street but I have no problem putting it's mother there in certain circumstances.

Today went from super shitty to managable or even good. This morning I couldn't find my wallet (with my bus pass and my tokens in it, thus no way to get to work without it... so I thought I was going to have to call in and not show up.) but then I found it in my mother in laws car and she gave me a ride to work. And here at work a coworker that home schooled her little one for kindergarten this school year was giving away the old books.... my 3 yr old really wants to learn and do school work with her older sister but since she isn't old enough to be enrolled for kindergarten they won't let me enroll her or use G's extra allotment money for kindergarten books for the younger 2 *pouts and frowns at the fighting that caused* but since T was giving away her old ones I grabbed em and now my younger 2 can do school too (they're 3 and 5) so that's picked up my day a bit. My work is about caught up and it's the beginning of admin assistant week in the office so there were bagels brought in for us this morning. *yay* and after work I'm hitting the gym and then the library to drop off my "overdue" books and pick up one I had on hold... (food's in the crock pot so I don't need to be home for people to eat dinner). Today could be a good day after all.

*huggles everyone hiding around the ward*
So how's everyone else doing?

*Hugs Crimson* I'm sorry that some people don't know how to speak appropriatly around kids ( or anyone for that matter ) :( .
I'm glad your day is picking up and good luck sorting out the missunderstanding /late notice with the library books.
*Hugs Helen*
*Hugs April*
*Hugs Kahlia* Keep hanging onto that rope , you can do it :)
*Hugs Oliver* I'm sorry you are in pain , perhaps you should make a Dr's Appointment . Did you make it to the shops ?
*Hugs Hayley* HOW did you managed to knock yourself out with a saucepan? I hope your heads ok :)
*Hugs Nicole*
*Hugs those I've missed (Sorry)*

I don't know how I feel today , not long ago I had a MAJOR Urge to S.I. and its still there somewhat , Last night I was so desperate to just be asleep / unconcious that I physically tried to punch myself out :( just gave me a headache . Ugh Idiot . I just read that back and it makes me sound INSANE :( I Could not get up early this morning , I think it's the Lithium making me apathetic , it also makes my hands shake sometimes but it really helps with my anxiety so I don't want off it , I can handle the shaking but the apathy is horrible . sorry *RANT*

OH OH *Hugs JK Too* :)

LOL mark - I didn't really knock myself out with a saucepan! Just did it in the ward. BUT believe me, there have been many times when I have seriously asked Eoghan to do it for me. I don't think I've the strength to knock myself out, only to make it hurt, but I want to do it so that I'm unconcious and get some peace. I tell Eoghan he's a 'meanie' for not doing it and he laughs at me, bloody cheek! So then I go and sulk apparently....and snap....and cry....etc Would be soooo much easier if I could sleep through PMDD and not upset/offend/anger anyone or myself. Ho-hum.

Anyhoo....brain still frazzled, I'm thinking its probably too late for a second nap but too early for bedtime....want to play WoW but don't think I can concentrate....

*huggles all wherever they may be hiding in the ward!*

*goes out to smoking shelter*

nope April we don't have Reeses stuff here, never heard of it before, yeah you Americans are slightly odd to us lol, but lovely people.
I would feel weak/pathetic if i didn't go to the supermarkt just because I should beable to do it, but I did manage to go in the end.
Mark- I know why I am in pain and nothing a doctor can do really, it just sucks.

*cuddles all*

sorry for lack of individual replies, but feeling really ill and have no energy or concentration.

*hugs and kisses everyone good morning*

Heaps going on in the ward huh, its a real happening kinda place ;)

April, honey, good luck with your exams. Yes you do have heaps going on , so make sure you get some time for yourself ok?

How you feeling now Helen? Hope you're not hiding anymore x

Keep hanging on Kahlia, I really feel for you not sleeping, must be very upsetting to not be getting the rest you need *hugs gently*

Thanks for not forgetting me Mark! And rockmelon is my favourite thing in the planet, you guys probably just call it something different lol

*hugs Crimson & Hayley* welcome back ladies, we missed you

Take it easy today Oliver, sounds like you need some rest too.

*Leaves big cuddles for Laura and Nicole and any unsuspecting visitors to the ward*

Oliver~ not all of us eat strange things but there's some of us...
My sister in law likes ranch dressing on cheetos. my husband's cousin likes ranch on m&m candies. my mom likes to drink pickle brine. my sister eats onions raw (like you'd eat an apple really). i met a lady that microwaved her ice cream and put mustard in before eating it... J likes ketchup on sweet potatoes.
I wouldn't be able to eat any of those things. Ewwww... But personally I prefer jam on toast and peanut butter and honey sandwiches if it's bread involving pb or jam...

Out of curiosity (and you don't have to answer)... Why are you in pain and why is there nothing the doctor can do?

I'm still hiding JK. Still feeling really ill :( Going to attempt dinner soon, well it's cooking....

We call it Cantaloupe. and thanks for the wb :) I missed not stopping in this weekend but I helped my daughter finish off her math work (almost 100 pages in 8 hrs) then worked on her reading book... she's trying to catch up and get ahead but no one helps her while I'm working apparently.

*hugs everyone*

Me and my housemate have decided that we are going to take my friend out for Thai deep-fried ice-cream. Nom nom. Not right now obviously...

It's now 5:20 and I still haven't slept. Apart from the almost constant noise from downstairs there have also been some really suspicious noises - people screaming "I'm going to kill you" etc. I did have to raise my eyebrows at one point though ... Our neighbour left to go to his care-taking job in his old van and the neighbours who have been making a racket all night yelled out at him to "shut the f**k up".

Sorry for the lack of individual replies. The lack of sleep and the horrid noise from downstairs are making it hard for me to concentrate. :(

*offers everyone a hug and leaves behind a fruit platter*
@-->---

*looks confuzzled* deep fried ice-cream?!!!! How's that work?! Clog your arteries instantly?!!!

*munches on fruit platter*

so so tired....

*hugs crimson* yeah there are some people over here who eat strange things, my sister eats ketchup sandwiches and yeah I know someone who eats raw onion
I'm in pain because of my binder I wear, and especially having not been wearing it for a week and wearing it again, but I won't stop wearing it and there isn't anything a doctor can do, except say don't wear it, which I'm not doing.

*morning hugs JK* yeah I am having a rest for this evening, just had my tea and just going to relax and watch some stuff tonight. hope you have a good day.

*hugs Kahlia* I really hope you get some sleep soon

*hugs Helen* I hope you feel better soon, some food may help.

*hugs Hayley, April, Mark, Laura and Nicole*

...

i need to escape. i need hug.

i'm sorry.

*huggles Oliver* well surely you can get some pain relief medication for when wearing your binder? Or how about some of those over the counter pain relief rub in things if your not allowed to be prescribed meds?

Thats about as useful as I think I'm going to get tonight. I'm going to take my meds early now and get ready for bed, then it'll only be an hour or so before I usually go to bed which isn't too bad.

Hopefully I'll be more like my old sane self soon and a more useful supportive inmate. *group huggle!*

*takes meds, cleans teeth, washes hands and face, puts on pj's, grabs her ted and toddles off down a corridor to find a different spot to snuggle down in tonight*

*feels slow this morning* i totally should have thought of that being the reason....
thought of another strange one though... my mother in law eats dark chocolate and bleu cheese together.
*huggles everyone and runs off to be more frustrated with my job*