Hmm I'm getting triggered :S I was picking at a wound just now but I just want to injure *Sigh* will it never be over ? Sorry.

Has there been a specific thing that has triggered you?

No Claire , I tend to get more triggered in the evening anyway , but I think just there being no other occaision between me and my 30th , I'm not ready to be 30 , I cannot cope , I should be a better human being by now , by 30 I SHould be married and HAPPY and I'm neither .

cuddles all. then curls up in the corner.

*Hugs Jill* whats up Jill?

Mark, really, you are human and a good one at that. There is no rule anywhere that says by thirty you need to have done x, y or z. I know it's not really the same, but I haven't done or had a lot of the things that 'normal' twenty-two year has.

What's up Jill?

Thanks Claire :)

just life sucks, when it rains it pours. i cant handle much

I'm around for a little while if you need to talk Jill :)

*hugs mark, helen and jill*

Jill and Mark I am here if you need to talk

cheers mark, and louise, its all good, im okay.well im not really but kind of have to be. hugs you both

Thankyou Louise , I'm just FED UP , I cannot be a 30 year old injurer , it's not usual , and yet I have cut this evening . My 30th birthday has been the Date I set to stop injurering but It's dawned on me that that is SO unrealistic , but I will have been harming for 16 years soon , It's just.......Too Much :(

I've just been to a 'meeting' with my support worker and two people from the voluntary crisis team. They want me to stop calling when I feel suicidal or am going to self harm or overdose, i.e when I am in a crisis. I thought that's what they were there for! Seemingly it's just for people who want to chat about their day etc. I've to go to the gym twice a week and call them to let them know how I get on. As much as I want to move forward I feel like they're taking my coping mechanisms away from me. Nothing gets me 'out of it' like overdosing. And, I guess I am attention seeking like my medical notes say, I want the attention and care that comes with going to hospital even if it is negative attention.

*Hugs Lindsay* Thats ridicullous ! Of course you should have the crisis team to call when you are in a crisis , Geez . Is there anyone other than them that you call in a crisis ? The Samaritans might be there for you , I've never called them but I've e-mailed them and they seem to be genuinally caring people.

Mark, there's people out there who are older than you and injure. Hell, one of my best friend is 37 and until recently she was still self harming. You can reach 30 and not be cutting...

My mum is being mean to me again, telling me I'll never amount to anything. I want it to stop now :(

*hugs mark and agrees with what both claire and helen have said*

*hugs helen* im sorry about your hearing aid, that sounds incredibly frustrating. Also, hope that the bus pass shows up soon, thats ridiculous having to pay so much everyday you have college.

*hugs louise* how r u doing?

*hugs lindsay* wow im sorry that the crisis team is treating you like that. I wish I had some advice... maybe try what mark said and call the Samaritans and see if you can get support from them? Here if you need to vent.

*hugs sarah* don't listen to your mom. You can and will amount to something. I'm sorry she is saying those things to you

*hugs hayley, april, jill, oliver, and everyone else*

Its storming.. which normally i love... but its hailing and i have to walk to class in about 25 minutes and its a 1/2 mile away.. ouch :-( i hope it at least stops hailing by then.

^ I'm 40. I didn't start hurting myself until I was around 28.

why does life kick someone when there allready down. fu8ksake, sorry =[

Is there anything you want to talk about?