*hugs Oliver* It's okay. We're here for you for as long as you need us. I'm glad you managed to get the email written and sent. Big tick for you. Sorry it took me so long to respond though ...

*unsure how to help*

*hugs everyone*

Spent $320 today I don't have to replace a monitor that my friends child destroyed. Seriously stressing now.

anyone about?

Hi julie, I'm sort of here, for about 10mins anyway. you ok?

*gives oli little pocket size boxes filled with hugs to take with him*

thank you, leaving for rehearsal in a few mins, dont want to, too damn anxious and depressed.

deep breaths hun it may help it may not work but oxegen is good for u apparently

i need to go shower *sniffs self* yip i need to shower

baaaaccck

*grumbles* stupid wrong side of the world noone awake wen i am lol

It's nice to talk to yourself sometimes though!

some times
how r u

*yawns and fiddgets and wriggls around*

*Hugs ward mates*

British telecom who my Dad (So pathetic I can't do this on my own!) wrote a message to last night about the putting up my bill by almost £20 a month rang before 9am this morning , woke me up , and told me that a basically have to pay the extra money as I have an outstanding balance , I was all groggy from sleep and haveing taken a non-suicidal OD the night before just because I wanted to block out all the stress and Cutting urges . all I said on the phone was yeah *gap* Yeah *Gap* Yeah....

I am pretty triggered . Tired too ,overslept after the phone call :S I really don't know what to do:(

*offers hugs to doikers*

Hello everyone... been tons of posts since my last so sorry if I can't/don't respond to all of them.

Oliver *cuddles* So glad that you made it through the night. I'm a little confused though, is your tutor someone in your support network? For some reason I thought that s/he was a school-oriented person, although that does make sense as what you're struggling with is overload due to school. Sorry if that was dense. :-S How are you doing today?? And I agree with the others, extensions do sound good... that way you won't have quite so much stress & will be able to perform much better in your daily life and at uni. *more cuddles*

*cuddles Mark and curls up next to* I spy you!! :D And I'm really sorry about the bill... that is really awful. :( I wish I could help in some way... geez, I know I say that a lot, but I really do mean it... I want to be able to help you ALL more than I can. :( But I'm here if you need to talk... and of course, I can offer cuddles and hugs, etc. :) *more cuddles*

*cuddles Hels* I'm so glad that you had a great time with your friend, although am sorry that you feel like everything bad happens to you. :( How are you doing today??

JK, love, you didn't say how you were doing. Soo... how are you doing?? not great, I take it? *holds you gently*

*cuddles and snuggles everyone else who's been about*

Umm... about me, well, the dinner... that went alright, I was really really anxious beforehand but once it got underway it went alright. Only got to stay for part of the meal & no speakers though, and we (my bestie & I) missed our dessert!!! which was *grumble grumble* ... so yeah. Pewpy. I was sitting at a table with a nursing student from Hong Kong, and then a REALLY old retired faculty and her son, and 2 current staff/faculty members. I didn't know any of them really. I'd seen one around campus but hadn't ever talked with her... so yeah. It was definitely interesting. :) They didn't have me down as being someone who had been invited however, although I was on the list of recipients of scholarships... one person cancelled so I got his spot and his meal (pork, when I had ordered the stuffed portabello mushroom *sigh* so that sucked... it wasn't awful but I don't really like pork that much). I really didn't even want to go to the dinner, but oh well...

Then the W&S presentation went really well, people laughed with the first poem as was intended, and enjoyed the rest. I really hope I did well. :-S My bestie and another mutual friend said I did great... so I hope that I did. Eek!! But the presentations & dinners are over with... now next week I have an "interview" with my internship person... so yeah, that's going to be interesting. :-S Am scared.

*more cuddles, then hides in a dark lonely hole* :(

*gives april little pocket size boxes filled with hugs*

*goes sits in a big box in the corner and tapes in shut from the inside*

*curls up in a little ball staying everoyones way*

*hugs April* I'm SO happy that your presentation went really well for you :-) , and I'm sorry got pork but at least you are not Vege or a Mulsim , that would have caused one big ruccus . Oh and missing dessert ! you should have gotten doggy bag to put it in at least .
Also I had a dream that I was a WoW member April lol , you and hayley are subliminaly influancing me! lol

*Hugs Julie* how are you in your box? cuts open a small hole in Julies box to check she's ok.

*hugs all other ward mates*

*sniffles* ...





'm ok

Why the sniffles Julie ? * Hands over a Hanky*

*cuddles Mark* I'm also glad that my presentation went well, and the dessert hadn't even been served by the time that we left. :( Some people were still just getting their dinners!! if you can believe that... but oh well, am so fat I don't need to have dessert anyhow. :'( How are you doing/feeling now?? any plans for the morning/afternoon?

*sends Julie a pocket-sized box of infinite cuddles through the hole Mark cut in the box* Are you sure you're okay, hon?

I'm drained... tired already, hate that. :( I am going to be going to a picnic tonight with a friend... it's the psych club's picnic, held at my advisor's house. Should be kind of fun although doubtless I will be anxious. GRRRR. :'(

Just got off WoW a bit ago - lol, Mark, that's a funny dream to be having!! :D - my rogue hit level 17, so close to 20 and a mount!! :D She's a human so she'll get a horse... my plan is to have her get the black stallion, which is not well known about (as far as I can tell)... so yeah. :D Hehe. I'm kinda excited about that. But anyway... :)

Almost time to go... boo hiss. Jarrod's gonna get keys for my car today (we only have one at this time, he's gonna go down to the dealership where he ordered the keys and they're going to make the key so it matches up with my car's computer or summat like that - I've a VW Jetta, kind of confusing the whole deal)... will be dropping me off on campus shortly. That gives me a LOT of time to figure out what I want to do my soc paper on... urgh... :( Due Monday. Up to 10 pages long. Haven't started it and really have no clue what he wants. I HATE THAT!!!!!! :(

*hides in a dark and lonely hole once more* :'(

*Finds April in her hole and Squish's her*

ARGH DAMNIT, so anxious already!!!

:crying:


Sorry... so sorry... :'(

*squishes Mark back* Thanks... :) Squishes and cuddles and hugs almost always help...

*cuddles everyone*

*hugs Helen*
I spot an Oliver *Hugs*

*cuddles Hels* How're you, sweetie??

*cuddles Oliver* I spy you!! :D

And I spy you, Mark!! :D *more cuddles to you as well*

Just updated my r/v thread... am on campus now. :(

*hugs Mark & April* How you doing now?

I spy an Oliver too *hugs*

oooo I have been spied by many people, *hugs you all*

April- my tutor is a lecturer and head of undergrads at my uni, she takes one of my tutorials and is just generally being supportive, taking time out to talk to me and offering to come with me to see my head of school

*hides before the next rehearsal*

*cuddles everyone*
I spy helen!

*cuddles Oliver & Laura*

I don't spy anyone except myself :(

*Hugs April* I read your R/V thread *extra hugs*

*cuddles Hels, Mark, Laura, and Oliver*

Oliver, I'm so glad that she's being supportive... :) That's awesome. I hope that she continues to be & that you manage to get the extensions you need. Is this rehearsal another 9-hour one or is it shorter?

Hels, how are you, love? You "kind of" evaded my question... *squishes*

Mark, thanks for reading it... you're so sweet - anyone who reads it is - because you don't have to & it's just out of your way & all... How are you doing now?

I only spy me in the thread :( boo.

I took a mini-nap in the student center, just kind of curled up in a chair and relaxed with Plumb playing on my iPod. It was nice. Then I went into the bookstore to see if there are any things that I want to get (as tomorrow - Sale Friday - everything with my uni's logo is 20% off) but I got too anxious so I had to leave. What a pathetic loser. :'(

So now I'm at tutoring... suppose I should sign in, ey, so my supervisor knows that I came... there, signed in. Woohoo.

Still so anxious. I HATE IT!!!! (thanks guys, for being so patient with me :o)

I just want to curl up & go to sleep for a very long time... but I have work that I NEED to do... I just don't know if I can focus on it. I'm so caught up in my own problems right now... selfish bitch that I am. :'(

*hides*

I'm always popping by your rant thread April *squishes*

I'm low. But nobody wants to hear me whining. Still got a migraine, not as bad, but still, UGH!!

And I appreciate you doing that, too, Hels. And anyone else. *cuddles* I'm sorry that you have a migraine - and goodness, how can you possibly think that people don't want to listen to your "whinging" when they listen to mine??! I whinge the most of everyone in here, I think (not to start a competition that is, lol)... and people still haven't booted me out of here. So yeah.

Am so tired. GRRRR. Still. And anxious. Still. GRRRRRRR!!!!!

Oh April you are NOT selfish or a bitch , you are such a nice person and one day you will see that .
And a sale at a bookshop ! with a Uni discount! *jealous* if only I had the concentration to read , I just end up staring into space and getting so frustrated.

I feel groggy , probably from last night's OD still. I want to cut , I want to , I want to , I want to :(

" with bitch drop the T , cus Bich is latin for genourosity" <

Anxiety & tiredness is a bitch. I have them both too today April, so know how you're feeling, but luckily mine's not too bad *squishes* We apparently don't whine, we 'express' hahaha!! *squishes* But YOU definitely don't whine xx

Mark, I'm so sorry you want to cut so much. Try not to *snuggles* Try distractions on RYL??

Thanks Mark... *curls up next to, 'cause he's comforting* ...I just wish that I could see that. It's not actually a bookshop, it's the uni bookstore that sells like uni logo clothing, textbooks, and some "fun books" - but nothing off on those. Just the clothing, really. I want to get another, last pair of sweatpants before I leave (lol - I have like 5 pairs of uni sweats as is... :P)... am not sure if I want the more expensive pair of girls' sweats, or the less expensive, guys' ones that have pockets. (What is the DEAL with making girls'/women's sweats without pockets?!?!)

Anyway.

I spy an Oliver and a Mark!! :D

Hels, you were hiding!!! I so want an invisibility cloak like yours... :P Yes, we express ourselves. :) We all do. No whinging here, no one has and no one will. :) *cuddles*

Mark, please don't cut... *holds your hands gently* ...or try your hardest not to, as I know you will... it's so hard not to when you're in a place (physical place, AND mental place too) where you can. Maybe go for a walk? or keep talking to us?

Speaking of SI, I am tempted to go to this very graphic self mutilation website I know about... will NOT give anyone the link... I can't believe that someone gave ME the link when s/he knew that I was a SI'er... because it's not a community like this one is, although it does have good information about SI. :-/ Guess that might be why... but members are allowed to post pics, so yeah. BAD. I really shouldn't go there... but I REALLY REALLY want to... :(

No looking at the website April :( Try not to at least? *snuggles* If you've got it saved anywhere, delete it *snuggles* I'm too good at this hiding stuff in here *giggles*

I'll try not to, Hels. *cuddles* What do you mean, you're too good at hiding stuff in here? :-S *is a bit worried*

Boo, I'm the only one viewing the thread now. I feel lonely. *pouts* Hehe...

:(

I meant hiding from showing that I'm viewing the thread..although I am good at hiding things too. But anyway :)

I spy a Romp && Mark :)

HI.
I went down to the super market and bought some energy drinks so I wasn't cutting then . now I'm here listening to one of my CD's that I got from amazon today so I'm not cutting this minute either :/

April , I would always get the sweatpants WITH pockets , where else are you gonna put stuff , keys etc . lol It's weird that the womans ones are pocketless I agree.

I spy a Hels!! and a Laura!! and a Mark!! *cuddles* Lol... sorry... am just so bored right now. :-/

Yes, you are good at hiding, Helen. :P But the hiding things is not good... better to EXPRESS yourself (:D) than bottle it all up. You know we understand etc., etc., so feel free to talk all you want. I miss your longer updates.

What music are you listening to, Mark? :D I'm listening to Skillet... have 3 of their albums on my iPod so am listening to them on shuffle. I love ordering/buying things... am waiting on a pair of shirts to come in the post. One's for Jarrod, one's for me... got 'em from c28.com, which is an AWESOME Christian clothing site. :) Well done for not cutting yet, keep it up... you can make it through today, I know you can. *cuddles gently*

Updated r/v again... :(

*cuddles helen, mark, and april*

I spy oliver!

I am such an idiot. Gah! SO STUPID. I was supposed to call and interview this guy for a story and I forgot that he is in a different time zone so I am an hour late!! So now I look and feel like a complete idiot. How could i have not have thought of that? I am such an epic fail today...

April , the CD is April Rain by Delain, it's pretty good, almost everything I Ebayed had come , I got a jumparoo for my sisters daughter on ebay and then just started bidding away on all sorts lol bought DVD's which is dumb as i have NO attention span or concentration for ages now , but music actually helps me so YEY!

Awh Laura hon, you're not stupid. *cuddles* It's really difficult for ANYONE, I think, to remember time zone differences. I know it is for me!! Try not to beat yourself up any more over it... mistakes happen... just explain to him that you forgot. I know that I wouldn't think you stupid for that... and I DON'T think you're stupid for it. *more cuddles* How many weeks of school do you have left, btw?

*cuddles Mark* That sounds like a peaceful album, but who knows... never heard of Delain. Hehe. Skillet is not particularly peaceful... lol... but it's good for my mood at the mo. I don't know... *sigh* But I'm so glad that music is keeping you from SI'ing!! :D That's awesome... keep enjoying it & keep talking with us... I have to log off soon as I will be popping off to a different building on campus, but I will be back. (Dun dun dunnn..........)

*hides*

Delain are like this slighty gothic ,rock band with strings and keyboard I think they are Dutch , they sound a bit like Within Temptation if that helps :)