*hugs everyone*

I woke up at 4:15 this morning from a weird dream. I wouldn't have woken up but I dreamt that a spider landed on my back and that jolted me awake. Now it's about two hours later and I'm scared to try and go to sleep incase the dream picks up the threads and continues. That probably sounds stupid .... My mood is still really low. I thought it was improving but I guess I'm not that lucky.

That is so bloody weird Kahlia! Last night I woke up and was absolutely sure I'd seen a spider the size of my hand on my ceiling. I think I dreamed it, woke up and thought I'd been awake the whole time. So I ran downstairs to get my dad to get rid of it (I'm arachnophobic). He came upstairs, turned on the light and I told him that I saw it above my bed. He pointed out that I wouldn't have been able to see it because it was so dark, and then he spotted a (much smaller than I'd dreamed) spider above my bed.
If that wasn't weird enough, now you're having a nightmare about a spider at around the same time in the night (when I woke up it was about 4am).
I waffle too much :P

Do you know what's causing the low mood? Maybe it was picking up but had a lapse because of the early waking?

xxx

Arwen ~ I wish I knew what was causing the low mood but there is no discernable cause. I have to say that I'm arachnaphobic as well and the weird thing about the dream was that the spider was in it and I didn't wake up until the spider jumped on me. Normally the sight of a spider in my dreams would wake me.

*hugs everyone*

I went for a short jog a bit earlier. Trying to get myself moving and the endorphins kicking. I just got out of breath ... but at least I'm doing something to keep myself sane because otherwise the mood will take over.

Y'know, I woke up this morning and for an all-to-brief second, I was happy. Course, it hurt all that much more to fall back down to Earth and realise it was all a dream.
I don't know how much longer I can cope with feeling like this.

Vicki ~ Cherish those brief moments of happiness if you can. I'm sorry you aren't feeling too good. Did you want to talk about it? This is a safe place if you do. *hugs you*

*hugs everyone - including those hiding in corners*

*checks self in* i'm not ok and i dont know where to turn

Thanks Khalia. I'm just really not in a good place. My life had pretty much broken down anyway, losing my job, home life is lousy, my sister wants me out of the house so she can move back in with her kids but without a job I can't afford it. I was holding onto my relationship. That's the only thing I had going. And now that's gone. It's hard to deal with that on it's own. But having nothing else...I'm just falling with nothing to hold onto.

*hugs vicki* you can hold onto us, we're here listening to you

sorry...i feel like i've been posting too much everywhere.....
*huddled in the corner*
am very unsafe....just in a really bad place right now....

*joins Rach in her corner and cuddles* can you tell me about it hon?

Vicki, you can definately hold onto us and me =) I know I haven't been a great friend recently for not really being around but I still care about you.

*cuddles everyone*

Sorry I'm being really quiet at the moment.

just in a bad place....suicidal....everything's just so messed up....not sure of the point anymore

*hugs Rach* have you got someone in RL you can phone, a crisis team perhaps or the samaritans? I'm here for you to listen and to talk but it isnt the same :) *hugs more*

i've tried talking to pple in rl, but they don't understand.....there's no point

There is a point sweetie, its hard to find it but its there

*slowly opens the door and peeks in*
new in here...need a place to feel safe from everything

so much going through my head...not sure which to believe or listen to
urges to SI are so great...

*curls up in the corner and cries*

*gently hugs airfobrat* welcome to the ward and to one of its many corners try not to si i know its hard, but talk to us instead :) we dont bite (unless asked reaaaly nicely)

*hugs everyone*

Went back to work today, I left to go to uni over a year ago. It was really weird but good all at the same time. Feel really unwell now though, not that thats anything new.

Thanks guys. The only time I'm feeling...well, not suicidal, at the moment is when I'm out driving (well, being driven by my mum). I think I need to join the circus.

*hugs everybody*
Sorry I can't do anything more x

I'm being so pathetic :'(