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-   -   Beyond repair. (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=248931)

Auror. 19-10-2019 08:12 PM

If I were not across the ocean I would visit. I'm glad that staff are being nice.

nonperson 19-10-2019 08:35 PM

I'm actually not that far away (well, one massive long road away) but I am working tomorrow. =(

Dunno if you do this sort of thing but could you facetime a friend or something? Might be less lonely than typing messages?

one_step_closer 20-10-2019 10:27 AM

How long are you likely to be in for? *sends love*

chinahorse 20-10-2019 12:13 PM

My friend was home for the weekend visiting her mum as she normally lives in Liverpool and came to see me. Really improved my mood and pain level. And she brought me lots of treats and took me for costa. :)

They are checking the wound on monday. Then it depends on that. Potentially the second surgery is on wednesday.

one_step_closer 20-10-2019 12:15 PM

I'm so glad you had a nice visit from your friend. I wish you could have more things like that. Are you able to treat yourself/get a Costa yourself? I know it's not the same on your own but doing little things like that might make things feel a bit better.

I hope your treatment goes well.

chinahorse 20-10-2019 12:20 PM

Yep I can apparently so I will try to get off the ward most days.

one_step_closer 20-10-2019 12:29 PM

That's a really good idea. :-)

chinahorse 20-10-2019 04:07 PM

The friend and her mum are being so lovely it's making me sad because my own family aren't showing that much care.

one_step_closer 20-10-2019 05:55 PM

I can understand your sadness, I'm sorry you aren't getting much care from your family. I am glad you have your friend and her Mum though, that's something at least.

chinahorse 21-10-2019 08:49 AM

The consulrant has been around. They're not checking the wound today after all. And I'll probably need longer with the vacuum on so no graft on Wednesday most likely. The registrar was in the initial surgery and said that it was an utter mess under the injury and there was significant tendon exposure.
I feel like I could cry now.

one_step_closer 21-10-2019 09:44 AM

*hugs* It is sad that you have caused yourself so much damage, and I hope it can be sorted as best as possible. Do you feel able to ask any questions you have? Can you do something nice for yourself today?

chinahorse 21-10-2019 09:49 AM

I did ask some things. Dont really have anything else to ask.

I may go for a wander this afternoon. Am in rather a bit of pain now. And I e munched some snacks and am watching TV as a distraction.

one_step_closer 21-10-2019 01:11 PM

Are they not managing to get on top of your pain? Snacks and TV sounds good. I hope you feel ok for a wander later on.

chinahorse 21-10-2019 05:05 PM

I can ask for tramadol if I need it which does work a bit but I hate asking so try to cope with paracetamol. But I took some tramadol and am sat in the hospital atrium watching the world go by with Pepsi max until the pain dampens down and the tramadol kicks in.

tamobhuuta 21-10-2019 05:36 PM

Well done for taking tramadol.

Pi.R^2 21-10-2019 10:19 PM

I hope you can keep convincing yourself to ask for the tramadol; it’s definitely ok to ask. If it’s tomorrow they’re looking at the wound now instead, good luck (not sure that’s quite the right sentiment?!)

I’m glad you’re getting out and about a bit, even if it’s just to the atrium.

chinahorse 23-10-2019 10:20 PM

Today has been traumatic to the max.

They took the machine off my arm. I have never ever experienced pain like it. I screamed uncontrollably. And then I was allergic to the entonox they gave me.

They put a skin graft on this afternoon. Took them so many attempts to get a new cannula in. The donor site is huge.

The doctor asked me if I wanted to go home when I hadn't even come fully round from the anaesthetic. I said no.

Both my parents have refused to come and collect me and take me home. It's over a 2 hour journey on public transport with a 20 min walk at the other end. I just can not do that. And I have no help when I get home. At all. I told the nurse. She wrote it all in the notes and tried to reassure me.

I'm very upset at the actions of my parents. They have been so unsupportive about this whole admission. Mum said she can't be bothered with me and is doing too much.

one_step_closer 24-10-2019 01:41 PM

That sounds really horrible, poor you. *gentle hugs* How are things today? No wonder you're feeling upset at your parents not being there for you while things are so traumatic. Are your friend and her Mum still supportive of you? I know it's not the same though. I hope you can get home when you're ready and have some support and are able to manage ok.

Unbreakable. 27-10-2019 12:46 AM

F*ck your parents.
You deserve better than that.

I hope the pain will be more manageable soon.

chinahorse 27-10-2019 08:11 AM

Everything hurts. And my leg stinks. Like really bad.

I don't deserve to be here.I'm such a fuck up. The surgeon who did the first surgery saw me yesterday. He said it was a very hairy operation for him and yeah :-(

I'm scared the graft won't have worked. And I'm also scared it will look horrific. Like I know it won't look pretty but there's levels of bad.

And I'm scared of going home. Because things mentally seem conrained here. There's 0 expectations of me. And everyone is nice. When I leave I have to function again. And fight for mh support. And look for a job. And cook. And try to cope with 0 money.

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