Thanks, Mark. How are you doing now?

Have you got a lot of homework to do, Heidi?

The crisis team phoned at a different time than I expected them to so I didn't have time to prepare something to say to them and just told them that I was ok. It's so hard to vocalise how I am feeling.

Not a lot, so much as I can't seem to find what should be right in front of my face. I get super frustrated. I'm ready to turn it in without doing anymore.

I'm happy to hear that you talked to them at least. Have you thought about trying to write your feelings out in a letter?

*Hugs Lindsay* Went out and bought alcohol, not going to drink it tonight , it's so weird but I feel better just having it in.....

*Hugs Heidi*

I finished my homework, so that's good news. I also wrote out my suicide note today. Still not sure on when, but the note is ready to go.

I wish the yelling would stop. It's always so loud. I don't know how much more I can take.

*hugs Mark* I guess that's kind of the same as having blades about but not using them.

*hugs Heidi* Does anyone know how you are feeling? Please don't be alone with this.

I write down my feelings and show them to my psychologist, who seems to be the only person who listens to me, but I only have one more appoitment with him before he leaves to work in another area.

I Do that with blades too Lindsay *Hugs*

*Hugs Heidi* You aren't alone in this hun , Is there anyone you can talk to? I will listen hun , and am pretty sure the whole ward will too.

*hugs Lindsay, Mark and Heidi*

I'm only a PM away if anyone wants to talk

*hugs Lindsay, Mark and Oliver* I feel like no one is listening. It doesn't matter though, cause I don't have anything to say anymore.

*shuffles in and sits in a corner to think*

hope everyone is doing well. I know I haven't been 'round in a long while. Been focusing on my marriage, which is doing better... makes it easier to resist the urge to SI. Tonight... really hard though...

*hugs everyone*

Sorry guys, didn't get time to make some foodage... been a really depressing evening into overnight :( I actually feel like crying.. haven't done that in a long time... I am trying to resist but its hard

*Hugs Oliver*

*Hugs Heidi*

*Hugs Kelly*

*Hugs Matt*

I've made 3 weeks S.I. free today :)

Very well done, Mark!

Thankyou Lindsay :) *Hugs* How're you feeling hun?

Well done Mark!

Hope everyone's well.

Thanks Kim , I forgot if Hugs are okay so *Waves*

*wanders in from my trip to Dillingham*
Sorry guys too many pages to get caught up...
*hugs all*
How is everyone?

I'm really worried. I went to see my GP who had a letter from my psychiatrist saying that my medication has to be stopped because I keep overdosing on it. I managed to convince her to let me have my medication dispensed daily but how am I going to cope without overdosing so much? I will still be able to overdose sometimes because they have to give me my nightly dose of medication away with me so I can save that up. I'll just need to stay away from hospital so that i'm not found out.

*Hugs Crimson* How was your trip?

*Hugs Lindsay* *Squishes Hard*

*hugs Mark* Congrats BTW!
It was... Cloudy but decent views of the scenery anyhow. I can do without ever spending more than 4$ on a 1ltr soda again though. *shakes head* it was sheer craziness how much things cost there. For the price of that one soda I could have bought 3 or 4 that were twice the size here.

*huggles Lindsay*