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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Laura2.0 22-11-2010 11:12 PM

*hugs all* sorry I didnt say much... my internet connection stopped working and it took a while to fix it.
Going to bed now.
*good night hugs all*

shadow13 23-11-2010 01:11 AM

The truth
 
I'm so glad I was on a happy hype yesterday because it gave me the chance to think about how I was going to tell you all how f***ed up ny sleep has become. Since I stopped cutting, I've had insomnia. I stay awake for hours reliving my worst memories. Sometimes I lie in bed and a tear just slowly makes it's way down my face. I think about cutting almost everyday. Even if I have stopped - for now - that doesn't mean the urge isn't there. It's maddening. I think the longest I stayed awake once was 48 hours + on school nights. So when I finally slept, I was exhausted. I don't wake up from my nightmares anymore. No matter what they are; my mind forces me into submission and I have to stay in that hell until someone wakes me in the morning. I have never been one to scream in my sleep. People think that I'm a quiet sleeper but I scream so much in my dreams. Memories turn and twist themselves into the worst outcome of the days I relive and I scream and cry as I'm forced to watch and never wake. Not til the morning comes.
I'm sorry I've kept this from you. I hope you don't think bad of me. Or think I'm a freak or that I'm weird. I just needed to tell you. Although I haven't known you all that long... You're more my family than anyone else. I love you all. :crying:
I refuse to give up. I refuse to give in.

frenchhorn 23-11-2010 03:14 AM

*hugs Shad* its really good that you could tell us. I can relate to so much of that, I've had insomnia for as long as I can remember, with it gradually getting worse in the last few years and I just lie there remembering everything crying and shaking. I find now that I sit in bed on my laptop, it keeps me distracted, can talk to others, watch stuff and play games, although there is always that point that I have to turn it off and try to sleep, which scares me like hell, but i find that after I have been on my laptop for a few hours I am more tired and if not I play on my phone.
sorry ranted on about me too much, if you want to talk ever always feel free to PM me. your not a freak, we're here for you.

Kahlia1981 23-11-2010 03:40 AM

*hugs Shad* - Insomnia is something I know only too well. At the moment my sleep is better than it has ever been in my life. I spent most of my life (some 18 out of 29 years) sleeping no more than an hour a night if I slept at all. I went, and still sometimes go although it is getting less, for days or weeks with no sleep at all - and that's when I'm not manic. When I'm manic I can go for months without sleep. Sometimes I sleep through nightmares, and other times I wake up screaming so loud that I wake my housemate an he comes running in from the other room to find out what is wrong. I have to say though that I would have liked to have been able to participate in a study that is being done in Melbourne into Insomnia and Sleep Disorders. It's a pity I live too far away up here in North Queensland. :-(

FlyingNy 23-11-2010 08:19 AM

*Hugs all* Morning. Well, my sleep isn't as bad as all of yours, but I did wake up at stupid o'clock this morning and couldn't get back to sleep and I have an importnant psychology test today. Joy. I'm sorry everyone's struggling with sleep. *Leaves flasks of malt drink for people to take when they need and copies of Harry Potter* They always help me sleep.

Doikers 23-11-2010 09:54 AM

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Splitperson*

*Hugs Kahlia*

*Hugs Ian*

Doikers 23-11-2010 09:58 AM

*Hugs Shad* I'm so sorry you are have trouble sleeping , this may sound a lame suggestion but maybe try camomille tea , thats relaxing, so if Lavender oil in your bath or a couple of drop spritzed on your pillow .

*Hugs Oliver*


"The hardest part of ending is starting again"

frenchhorn 23-11-2010 11:24 AM

The following content has been hidden - Reason : poss suicide trig

**** I dont know what to do, I'm sat in college with quite a few pills of a mixture of different meds in front of me, I really want to take them, I'm meant to be in a lesson in 30 minutes and then a rehearsal and then i'm seeing the college counsellor, i dont know if i can distract myself until then, and even then if i leave the counselling session i'll end up taking them then anyway.

Doikers 23-11-2010 11:30 AM

Oliver *HUGS* Please don't take them , could you maybe go along to the counsellor and hand them in or if you are not comfortable handing them over go to the bathroom and flush them down the Toilet? Please get rid of them somehow and stay safe .

nicole94 23-11-2010 12:07 PM

*hugs everyone*
oliver-please please please dont take them!! like mark said, can you flush them away if you can give them to anyone??

Laura2.0 23-11-2010 01:26 PM

*hugs all*

Oliver: please don't take them. Like Mark and nicole said, give them to the counsellor or flush them.

misskitty112 23-11-2010 02:36 PM

*hugs everyone who couldn't sleep* I couldn't either last night. I woke up almost every hour before I just gave up and worked on uni stuff. (I officially have my Lit Theory and Creative Writing stuff done though)

*Super Hugs Oliver* Please, get rid of the pills. Please.
*Hugs Mark* How're you doing?
*hugs Lore* How are you today?

nicole94 23-11-2010 02:58 PM

*hugs everyone* anybody got a warm house i could teleport too? :P
it's bloody freezing here, we have some men come to paint all the windows and doors, so they all have to be left open!! its cold!

misskitty112 23-11-2010 03:10 PM

Teleport here, Nicole! My house is really warm.

Doikers 23-11-2010 04:44 PM

Met with my Nurse Sharron today, She told me Brenda , who I know from Accupuncture and Group has Died in the last week :( It never rains but it pours eh? I don't know what to make of it , I'm just a bit numb :S

misskitty112 23-11-2010 05:14 PM

*super big hugs* I'm sorry, Mark. I'm around if you need to chat.

Doikers 23-11-2010 05:44 PM

Thanks Felicia , I didn't know her THAT well but we were on semi-conversational terms , she must have only been in her 50's.

one_step_closer 23-11-2010 07:04 PM

*hugs everyone*

I really can't take much more of 'life.' Nothing specifically is happening but my mood is so low.

Doikers 23-11-2010 07:09 PM

*Hugs Lindsay* I'm sorry your mood is so crap :(

FlyingNy 23-11-2010 08:10 PM

Oliver, no one here would ever want anything to happen to you. Please follow the advice of the others. *Hugs*

*Hugs Mark* I'm sorry :(

*Hugs Lindsey* We're all here if you need to talk.

*Hugs Lore, Nicole and Felicia*


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