Fair enough Mark :) *hugs* I'm really low but at least college kept me distracted for the majority of the time I was there?

*hugs Lindsay* How you doing honey?

That's good & fingers crossed.

I hope counselling goes well. I'm sorry you're having suicidal thoughts, they suck. But remember you're not alone. Been having them myself aswell. *hugs tight*

RYUU, i'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

Felicia, I hope counselling goes well and the thoughts ease.

Today I was asked to come back on the next Prince's Trust team as assistant team leader again. It's nice that I have been asked but I don't know if i'm up for it. I'm struggling through this team. I'd like to go back on residential but the rest would just be boring repetition. Youth work isn't something that I want to do but if I left after this team i'd have nothing to do. I don't know what to do.

*hugs everyone*
I update my r/v (see siggy) if anybody cares/wants to read it... Just figured I'd say so since I rarely bother with my r/v (or much else) these days...

*wanders off*

*Hugs Crimson* I read your R/V first paragraph , and am sorry to hear your Mil issues :( .I'm sorry I didn't read more but I cannot focus/concentrate on reading , really sorry. My heads all over the shop :S

*hugs mark and everyone*
felicia, hope the thoughts go away and counseling goes kay <3

*Hugs Heather* How are you ?

*hugs Mark* It's ok Mark :) Just had to get at least some of it out, ya know?

I know how it can all get pent up inside Crimson yes. *Hugs*

It's early but I'm mentally exausted with urges and craving and suicidal fantasys all day and I'm not asking for them they're coming of their own accord :S
*Hugs Wardmates goodnight*
Tomorrow might be better it's the 3rd right , 3rd time lucky :)

*tucks Mark in* G'night hun. Hope tomorrow is lots better :)

Hey guys *cuddles*

Sorry for being a bad wardie recently. My pain is getting worse and I broke down hysterically crying and shaking today. Feeling a little better but feeling pretty crappy. :( I'll be here for you all as much as I can when I feel better. Sorry guys x

*cuddles sarah* you are not a bad wardie... not at all.

*huggles all*

So damn anxious. Scored 46 on a test (K10) which is an indicator of anxiety and depression/suicide distress. The "highest" score is 50. :-(

Meh. So.damn.over.this.

*hugs wardies lots*

I'm sorry that so many of us are struggling :-/ wish there was something I could do for you all.

*bakes some no calorie cookies and places them out for everyone to snack on*

I'm probably gonna be a bad/ absent wardie for a little bit... at least the rest of this week. I have uni, plus I've gotta do something about these suicidal thoughts.
I'll read and think of you guys, but I'm not feeling so conversational and such.
*hugs everyone*

*cuddles felicia* you are not a bad wardie. You have to take care of yourself first. Hope that the suicidal thoughts lessen. We are here if you need us.

That goes for everyone, nobody is a bad wardie... even if i say it of myself sometimes... its not true

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Kahlia*

*Hugs Felicia*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs all my other wardmates*

*yawns* evening... well morning really

*hugs all*

I feel so lousy ... :-(