m ok i guess. hows you?
i gonna get off and try to sleep,
but back tomorrow [hopefully =\] cept plan on sleeping later than 10 so doubt it but will try to get on.

nuhnight

night love, take care x

Morning everyone :) *Hugs* Sorry for the lack of individuals , I'm thinking of you all and have read up on all the posts since last night I think .

*huggles everybody*

So cold ....
So tired of cleaning ...
6 hours of cleaning today for the Open House tomorrow ...
*screams*

6 hours! Wow.

*cuddles everyone*

Sorry I've not really been posting much in here.

^^ Same here. Just haven't had much to say or any energy to do individuals...

Things here are... I don't know. I'm just so lost. :-/

It's been a busy last half-week... I just want to sleep. Plus, I got up today at 5am... honestly, that's too early for ANYONE, I don't care who you are. :P

*hides in the warren and shreds old newspaper* :(

5am is too early indeed >_<

*cuddles* Sorry you feel so lost sweetheart x

Lindsay: Yeah, believe it or not there were two of us working as solidly as you can for six hours to get the unit ready for the open house . . . We were as thorough as you would normally be for an end-of-lease/tenancy clean.

Erk, I need another drink (non-alcoholic)...

*hugs everyone*

I hate weekends. There is nothing to do and too much time to think.

*Hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs April*

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Lex*

*Hugs Heather*
*Hugs Kahlia*

*hugs Lex* Sometimes the smallest periods of relief can be incredible. Hope you slept alright <3

*hugs Kahlia* 6 hours? That's sheer insanity. Props to you for doing that much work...

*hugs Heather* Hope you slept well!

*hugs Mark* I hope you enjoy your weekend :)

*tackles Lindsay* I feel like I haven't seen you on here in forever :) How are things?

*hugs Hels* How are you today?

*hugs April* I agree with everyone else... 5 am is ridiculous. Although sometimes I wish I could wake up that early just because it's so peaceful... while everybody is still asleep, and I can pretend like I'm the only person in the world :D

*leaves care packs for anyone else*

Hi Kristyn, things are a bit better with me. I'm able to take my medication sometimes and the men in my head have quietened down. I'm still getting strong urges to overdose though.

How are you?

Cuddles all. Curls up in corner and hides.

*hugs Lindsay* Good to hear the men have quieted down, although sucks about the urges to overdose :( Keep fighting it <3

*hugs Jill* What's wrong hun?

I'm alright... in a baseball tournament this weekend which is keeping my mind off my upcoming psych evaluation on Tuesday.

Hmm feeling very low, got really stuiped thoughts running through my head. Thinking about someone I hadn't thought about in years, which is bring back sad feelings back screw it i would be better off dead. **** it all

*Hugs Jill* You would NOT be better off dead . I'd miss you .

*Hugs Taz* Enjoy your baseball tournament , and GOOD LUCK with your psych appointment :)

*Hugs Lindsay* I'm glad the men have quietened down , please try to resist the OD urges .

Been a quiet day on the ward. :)

So so exhausted. Just got up from an hour & a half or so long nap, to realize that I was about an hour overdue on my meds, which isn't good... blah.

Ugh. I really don't want to go to the worship thing at my church tonight... :( It's going to be really late and I am already so freaking tired... :( but I do want to make Jarrod happy. However, conversely, he should want to make ME happy... lol... so I don't know if we'll go or not.

*sigh*

Sorry, once again, for no individuals... brain is so muzzy right now.

Cuddles all. thanks mark. Hmm feeling sad, just being told that my gran could take another stroke. and it could be fatal, **** I don't think I can/could handle it if she died. **** this is so unfair she reached this age, then this happens. Curls up and hides.

*huggles everybody*

Sorry for the lack of individuals.

Last bit of cleaning done, just got to wait for the real estate agent in half an hour. *sigh* Over this already . . .

Hmm it's 4am and I can't sleep, got way so many thoughts going around my head, and my mind will not shut up. Allready cried my eyes out tonight. curls up and hides.

*hugs Jill* Sorry to hear about your grandma... hopefully she won't have another stroke <3

*hugs Mark* Thanks :) I'd be lying if I said I wasn't extremely nervous/anxious about it... but I'm sure on Tuesday morning it'll be much worse!

*hugs April* I wouldn't have gone if I had gotten up at 5am... but that's just me... sometimes I don't care about other people at all.

*hugs Kahlia* How'd the visit with the real estate agent go?

Jill: *big hugs* I wish I could be there in person to a) give you a hug and b) give you someone by your side to offer support and someone to talk to.

Taz: *glomps you* Well the open house was probably not a success. There was only one prospective buyer and even he said that the price was too high. He actually lives in another unit in our block so has a pretty good idea what the last unit in the block was sold for - and also that the unit that is still on the market was placed there for less than what our landlord is asking and the owner/whatever there has had to drop the price dramatically. Anyway we had a good chat to that prospective buyer at the end because we know him quite well and told him to feel free to put an offer in, but neither he nor us were sure what she was aiming for. *sigh*

Wow, it has been awfully quiet in here... is everyone okay??

*cuddles all then toddles off into the garden to admire the rising sun* :P

*Hugs Kahlia* Hmm i'm sorry your open day only had one prospective buyer but maybe you'll get more soon ?

*Hugs Jill* I hope your Gran get well soon .

*Hugs April* Did you get to your worship thing ?

*Hugs Taz* Sorry you are nervous Taz:S

I thought I better drop in and let everyone know that I'm alright. Sorry I haven't been around. I've been so busy with studying to try and catch up and I have had a couple of massive weekends as well. It seems that this is going to continue for another week or two as well. :( Hope everyone is doing okay. *hugs*

*hugs all*

*Hugs Jessica*

*Hugs Helen*

*cuddles all*

Hels, how're you doing, sweetie??

Mark, we didn't make it to the worship thing last night, nor to church this morning... I am not feeling well due to med side effects (girly stuff that I've written about before)... ugh. :( And I'm so exhausted anyway. Blah. How are you??

Jess, glad you popped in, was beginning to wonder where you were!! Stay strong, sweet. Also, same about Lia, seems like it's been 3 weeks but maybe not? I can't remember...

I'm so exhausted... :( ...got up at 5am again today, couldn't sleep any longer. Played WoW for awhile - the warrior I started 3 or so days ago is now level 18, nearly 19, and has a sparklepony awaiting her in her bags. :) I'm excited rather, for her to hit 20 and be able to dual-wield weapons. :) WoW seems to be the only thing besides my cello that I'm "living for" at the moment... everything else is kind of either "blah" or just outright "bad." :'( Oh well...

*more cuddles, then disappears for awhile where no one can find her*

*Hugs April* Hmmm I'm sorry you didn't get to church :(

I'm okay I guess , back at my flat for a couple of hours , paid my bills , took a bath , am a little anxious about doing some CBT based work tommorow with my nurse but the numbness/apathy is mostly covering my anxiety, thats an up side I guess? I got to see Hannah may friend for coffee yesterday which was good :)No-one from the cmht has contacted me since my SW went off having hurt his leg since 29th of July and I was talking of suicide then so they increased my Lithium but no-ones been in touch :S

Oh and I think that Lia is away, forgot to say that .....

cuddles all. cheers mark for saying you would miss me.
kahlia: thanks could do with that right now, thank you.
taz: yeah i hope so too, really not ready to loose my gran.
april: hope you start feeling better soon, take care of yourself.

hmm fell asleep at 5am, i think the triedness won out. hmm woke up at ten, so in kind of tierd right now, but a well. having a quiet day, going to have bbq as its roasting today.

Mark, you're right, Lia's away for 3 weeks I think it was. Think she's been away for one or nearly has?

I am moved into uni. yay!

I will take and post pics once I clean.
Also, I had a moderately good day at the fair with my brother yesterday. I just wish I wasn't so anxious about going out to dinner with my roommate. =/

I'm not sure when she went away but you're probably right Helen :)

*Hugs Felicia* Cool that you are back at uni and had a good time with your brother . Anxiety sucks royally Felicia but I hope you enjoy yourself.

Yeh, I knew that Lia was going to Canada for 3 weeks or so, just can't recall when she left. :-/ Bad wardie, bad bad.

I am so exhausted but I'm going to try & push through the day without napping. I have no idea if it will happen or not, but... hey, it's worth a shot? :-S Have been on WoW a lot and read some too, want to play cello but not so sure my brain's up to it, lol.

Just want to feel better. Am feeling miserable right now & have all day due to Abilify side effects. :'(

*hides in a hole and scribbles on the walls with markers* :(

Oh April you are NOT a bad wardie , I'm not sure when Lia left either hmmm . * Hugs Aprils Brain gently *

Ohhhh wish me luck with this CBT based Lifestyle "Thing I am doing with my nurse tomorrow please :S I'm a little anxious about it . I was a Guinea Pig for when my previous CPN ( community psychiatric nurse ) was training to do it and I REALLY didn't like it , that was years ago but still I'm anxious.

I'm tired , Night ward mates, Sweet dreams all :)

G'night Mark, sleep well... *cuddles*

*hugs for everyone*

*tackles april b/c i spy you*

I'm back at uni now. Alone time at last.

Laura, I'm back too... only I'm not exactly happy about it.
I got kicked out of my sorority over the summer (cause I had a 2.4 GPA and I guess they decided my summer class wasn't worth waiting for, even though now my GPA meets their guidelines) and I realize now, that my automatic friends are gone. I have other friends, but they mostly commute, so now I'm lonely and **** like that.

*hugs felicia* that really sucks about your sorority and friend situation. Maybe try to look at this as an opportunity to meet new people? I know thats easier said than done, but it could be true.

*curls up and wishes to disappear*

*huggles everybody*

I hope my book arrives today... Though my housemate is joking that I'll have to buy a coffee table to put it on.
Dinner with my family for my brothers birthday last night went really well although I started freaking out and had to take a "White M&M" and disappear for a bit. :-( Otherwise was very good and I even scored a kiss from my youngest niece!!

*curls up in corner and sighs*
i gotta make dinner for everyone tomorrow, wed, fri every week... [apparently i should be 'taking up more responsibility around here'], so my aunt bought me a cookbook and it has all the cals and fat and carbs and all that in it... shoot me. at least if someone else makes it can pretend i doesnt care cuz not really know how much is in it and just... meh. i dont even wannnna eat, but gonna hafta if cooking and isnt fair.

adn i got told how much of a failure i am basically for about 40 minutes yesterday... joyous and apparently i wont have health insurance cuz you cant be full time if you're not seeking a degree there and dads insurance wont cover me if im not full time and ugh. and apparnetly im the reason my dad has to work 2 jobs and they just 'wasted a ton of money for me to screw around for 3 years'... its called i dont even wanna be alive- let alone having energy to do anythingg ><

*sigh* sorry for whining when im not even supporting people :/ *hides in blankie fort*

**hugs***

I love that one your taking more responsibility around here!! I cant count how many times i heard that!

You could either cook really bad and they wont make you do it again or do something really healthy the other night i had to cook so i did a vegatable filo roll. really simple some roasted vegetables and i litle cheese and filo simple low in cals just use really little cheese or add it in one end and little in other and have that part!

I hope things go well XX

thankss. and yeah, the annoying part is my brother does nothing all day but because he's not the one that did horrid at uni, no one ****ing cares. *scowl* hes bloody perfect at everything, and doesnt have to deal with all this ****... meh. but whenever i try to explain i get told im just making excuses- no im just trying to EXPLAIN why i cant focus most of the time and dont even wanna get outta bed >.> [apparently if i dont get up at 9 all week next week they wont pay for uni because 'clearly dont care'.. then im just sittitng here thinking and just... ugh] and my dad keeps not letting me go online, yet i also cant smoke becuase its 'too dry outside' ... what on earth does he expect? o_O lol.

*shushes*

hey all, just popping in quickly to say hi, I'm back, will tell you all about it when I am not falling asleep on the keyboard.
*cuddles to all*

*offers cuddles back to oliver*
sleep good :)

who wants to make a decision on dinner tomorrow for me? its driving me maaad trying to choose something i doesnt even want anyway haha

Heather: Gourmet bread rolls? A bread roll each with butter/margarine, ham (of whatever flavour you feel like although triple smoked goes well), jarlsberg cheese and semi-dried tomatoes ...

That's what I make my housemate for lunch. Oh, and also sometimes for dinner when I can't make up my mind because I have a tendency to freak out in supermarkets lol.

Otherwise:
* Spaghetti bolognaise (excuse the bad spelling)
* Chicken kiev with salad or like a pasta salad or something - really good because you can really munch down on the salad
* Bangers and mash (sausages and mashed potatoes)
* Home made pizza - buy the base and put stuff you like on it, or you can make the base - there's hundreds of recipes for pizza bases online
... Sorry, I'm out of ideas at the moment.

*big hugs* to you though hun, I know what that kind of situation can be like.