lol, yeah. i mean the curtains around my bed lol! i have one side closed, but i still have one open! the bed opposite me is empty so i havent gotta worry about people being in there, but i cant decide if i would feel safer with them open or closed!!

Close it if it helps you feel safer sweet. You can always open one again hehe!

got it closed now (mainly cause my nose is running and there are tears rolling down my face but still) noone can see me now, im safe.............................

I got a hold of my houseing support worker and he is coming by next Monday , he sais it's not my bill and not to worry but it was addressed to me, *STRESSES* I've just gotta hold on for 5 days until he comes by.
He was VERY sorry he never showed up this Monday a bit of paper covered my name in his diary , He was very apologetic to be fair , these things happen I guess.......

thats good then.............................................. .
sorry. my minds not clear enough to reply properly, will try and write something proper later on.....................

Doikers, keep holding on, you can do it, I promise

*holds Nicole* Cry if it helps xx

I spy a Laura ;)

*cuddles everyone* Thanks for the birthday wishes! I am prolly not celebrating much today b/c i'm stuck in my hometown for spring break and nobody else is here... So I am just going out to dinner and having a few drinks there lol... i'll prolly party more when i get back to school.

April - I've been alright. Attempting to figure out where life is going/where i want it to go. Too much thinking sometimes i guess but thats how i always am heh.

I will try to reply to everyone properly later.
*pinches all those who admitted to not wearing green* lol jk

sorry. didnt even realise there was a birthday :/ happy birthday. OW that hurt!! lol

sorry for not replying, was being stuiped, everthing is a okay, its better if i just shut up and not say anything. curls up in corner and hides. me sorry

Ow that hurt =P

Wow so much has happened since I left this morn! Paddy's day lunch went ok. Two of my brothers came along which I wasn't expecting, but it was good as it split the focus from me and my mum couldn't go into things, phew.

Both of my grandfathers were Irish (both passed away when my parents were young), so my mum and father are half Irish, meaning I still get to be half Irish! The majority of my Irish family are now situated in a town called Killester just outside of Dublin. I last saw them when they came over in 2008, but we went on a family holdiay to them in 2004 which was fab. My 85year old great aunt still came out and had a sherry each night with us! She's passed away since, but she lived til the end if you know what I mean!

I've eaten far too much today, but my PMDD makes me ravenous and I think i'd be in worse a state if I carried on restricting rather than munching....I'll prob change my opinion on that later, but hey ho...

If I knew how to do links thingymabobs I'd do one to my WoW toon, but I'm so not technical minded, but for those who understand these things I only have one toon called Roseleigh, I've just levelled to 18, I'm a gnome mage in the realm darkspear. If my eyelids weren't drooping already I'd be going on there tonight! But once I start I can't stop for a good few hours!

*group huggles all in ward - even those hiding in the corners!*

*makes sure those pinches arent too painful*

*hugs nicole* no worries on not realizing about the bday, i sometimes miss things too on here. And thats cool about the guy you are related too! Hang in there.

*hugs mark* sorry you've been so stressed. Its good that it didnt wind up being your bill.. Hope you are alright.

*cuddles helen* have fun going out tonight!

*cuddles april* sorry about your car and the fact u are overwhelmed. Keep fighting. How r u else wise? (I havent been around in awhile.. sorry)

Going out to dinner soon. Order my first legal drink in the US.. (I know it sounds lame to all those in Europe.. but its a big deal here haha)

*hugs hayley* Sorry i missed you we posted at the same time!

"puppy sinclair!! Do you wanna come outside whilst I have my fag before bed time?"

*goes out to smoking shelter*
...........
...........
*comes back in and sprays self with pretty smelling stuff so not to stink of fags*

Night all or good morning for those of you who will be awake shortly! Here's hoping we all sleep well and have a better day tomorrow.

*snuggles down in corner with her teddy bear*

*hugs all*

Sorry I've been absent and missed several pages. I don't think I'm going to be able to catch up I'm afraid. Mucho apologetico.

*hugs everyone then disappears back into the dark*

*cuddles everyone*

Sorry it's not more :(

*cuddles Helen tightly*

*hugs everyone then disappears into a dark space for a bit*

*cuddles Kahlia tightly & hides*

Happy Birthday Laura hope you had a great day!!!! Wooow thats a high bil,yeah you should see can you get any help with them! Hope ur day was ok Nicole,glad to hear u got some sleep! Hope evryones xxxx

hope everyones Paddys day was fun and hugs for all!

I am so ****ing anxious and it's just past 5am in the morning... WTH is WRONG with me?!!?

I tried to post yesterday but the comp froze & I didn't have time to post again. Sorry about that, guys.

Please keep me in your thoughts/prayers because I don't know if I can handle much more of this anxiety... it sucks beyond belief and I really, really need to refill one of my meds as it will be running out before it can come mailorder!!

:(

*hugs everyone*

April - *hugs* anxiety can be a big hurdle but you can get past it. By the way, I really like your display pic (caution depression ahead). Nice one.

*walks around and hugs everyone then disappears into the darkness again*

*cuddles Kahlia* Thanks. :) I found it on LiveJournal... icon-making community, and really liked it. I only hope that it doesn't offend anyone here. :-/

I hope I can get past this anxiety, because it is awful. I am calming down a little now... I think part of it has to do with the fact that I went to bed last night with a full stomach and that usually makes me feel not the best, which leads to anxiety about being ill, etc. But I am doing a little better... I think? :-/

How are you?

*more cuddles*

* Hugs all *
I like your new avatar April , not offended at all.
I really did not want to get out of bed this morning , I was in bed for coming up to 14 hours :) getting up means I have to fight the urges again and I keep losing that battle . I had one coffee and moved onto the peppermint tea so I don't get caffine anxiety, I don't need THAT on top of everything else .

Is WoW like Runescape ? I have a runescape members account but I haven't played for a while , all this gaming talk makes me want to start again but I'll be so far behind the updates ..... might be fun though .

My husband says that Runescape and WoW are "two different little animals" but they are both RPGs. WoW isn't free - you have to buy subscriptions either every month, every 2 months, or every 6 months... and now he just said that nahh, they don't look at all much the same. I love WoW but it's the only computer game that I play. It takes up so much time & is such a wonderful distraction though... MOST of the time. :-S

*hugs Mark* At least you got enough sleep... lol... might as well look at it in a good light, right? :P I'm feeling a little better although still crazy anxious... I hate this so much. Updated my r/v thread a little bit ago if anyone cares to take a look...

*sigh*

*hides*

I read your venting post April * Super Hugs * I really hope the hugs help I'm BAD at the advice . But those Cliches even if they are all cliches help . Well they help me anyway and you CAN get through this I hope you believe that too.

I pay to be a Runescape Member but I think it's much cheaper than WoW . I think I might start Runescape again as it would be a good distraction ,I've been paying for it but not playing lol . Not a Lot of money but still.......

*big cuddles to all*

*Hugs Helen* How are you doing today?

*cuddles*

So worried about someone, it's making me anxious. How are you?

Awh Hels *big cuddles* I hope that your anxiety goes away... mine just came back when I tried to eat something, stupid me. :( So now I feel like a "quivering mass of jelly" or summat like that... so scared and anxious and tense. It's awful. Sorry... :( Is this someone one of the 2 that you mentioned in your PM?

*hugs Mark* It's okay, you don't have to be good at giving advice. Hugs are always good!! :D and it helps to know that someone who cares read it, you know?

Just want to go back to bed right now... but I have to do a quiz online. Don't wanna!! *'mongo-temper tantrum* Hah... :(

*hides*

Haven't the energy or brain power today for proper replies, but I am thinking of you all and giving each and everyone of you a super duper huggle! xx

I've been a busy bee, that's helped keep me busy I guess. Yes, it is one of the people I mentioned in my pm :( Still no word as of yet. *worries* *cuddles* Sorry you feel so **** with the anxiety, it's a bitch isn't it??

Hayley, massive cuddles.

Hugs for everyone!
You ok April, just, you know, breathe, and go do something silly to distract yourself!

Mammamia, worrying is bad cos it'll only make you stressed!Can you talk to that person,maybe hang out with them to reassure yourself?

xxxxxxx

I wish I could hang out with them, but one they're over a hundred miles away, two they're not really talking to me :p I can't talk to them either because they're not responding to anyone's texts :(

:(
phone call/skype/msn?

xxx

She's not been on msn since last friday :(
No point phoning, she wouldn't answer.

Does she have a husband/kids/job you could call?

I think i might be setting up camp here for a while.

Yes, but I'm scared aha. But have heard from her now. *curls up*

That's not a problem, I've been in here since 2007 :p :wow:

I don't think I've ever wanted to come on my period so much in all my life. I can't cope with this PMDD anymore :( Its been really bad this time. My boiler has broken and I feel like crying - how pathetic is that?! Its going to be fixed tomorrow....but I wanted to have a pj day tomorrow and now thats ruined! How pathetic am I getting worked up over these things?! Its not right. I'm not right. :(

Just waffled a journal entry, was kinda hoping someone would be in here now, like really in here... *fights back tears*

*goes out to smoking shelter*.....ooh and I've gotta put the recycling out!

i'm in here Hayley... kinda.

Hey crimson *huggles*

I've just been looking up information on caffeine. I'm trying to decide whether to keep increasing my intake to try and have some form of life or to just give up and hibernate. It would appear the only downside to my caffeine tolerance/dependance is the cost and the fact that I cannot run out! I have 2cups of coffee, 1-2litres of cola and some diet red bull (depends how much cola I have to how much red bull) plus 4diet pills containing caffeine a day. I still often have a 1-2hour nap in the afternoon and I sleep for approx 10-12hours a night. I hate M.E. I just want to have energy and have some form of life. Raaa. Sorry guys, I should probably waffle this in my journal, not here.

Anyhoo, I give up for at least today. I'm going to take my meds early and go to bed. I've had enough of my mind, hopefully I'll find somewhere peaceful in my sleep.

*cuddles*

If it helps Hay, I cried loads when our heating/boiler broke (and kept breaking) :(

My anxiety came back, **** it all, and I don't have anyone to talk with about it!! except for my husband... I am so scared now of going to bed, even though sleep is practically my only escape... and also of tomorrow, which will probably be all day alone (although granted, my bestie ought to be coming over sometime, and my mum might as well if I can talk her into it, lol). I don't know. I HATE THIS!!!! I did okay from about 9am - 11:30am, after napping, and then it came back and I've been fighting it all day. I even taught violin!! with it hammering at me... :crying: I feel like **** and I have no idea where to turn. I'm running out of one of my antianxiety drugs too... SHIZBANG. I am going to be a wreck.

:crying:

*hugs everyone*

We have a cyclone threatening the coast. Tbph I think it'll hit south of us and we'll be okay ... we tend to be ... but in some ways it's amusing to watch the 'villians reactions. Like buying "camping" type supplies in case of power outages and fighting for them in the supermarkets. Last season I watched a girl I lived with tape all the windows in our area of the house because "my friend said it was a category 5 (highest level)" ... I had to tell her it was a cat 1 and coming no where near us.

My parents are almost back in QLD after 9 months or so of travelling around Aus. It's going to be a bit weird to have them back.

Anyway *hugs everyone*

*cuddles everyone* sorry everyone seems to be having a hard time. Sorry it's not more right now. I'm so f-in busy... i wish i had time to breath a little.

*hugs* Kahlia..lets hope the cyclone doesn't hit the coast and somehow dies down b4 it reaches there! Fingers crossed ur okies! :-)

*hugs laura, april, helen and whoever i missed, which is probably alot of ppl*

*As usual, leaves some chocolate chip cookies on the table*

*hugs all*

Jem - It's (cyclone Ului) a cat 2 at the moment and according to BOM we are in the watch area but north of the warning area. Next cyclone advice is in about 1.5 hrs so we'll see. We'll probably get some wind and rain but most likely miss the worst of it. And cyclones tend to dissipate once they hit land ... but then again, they are notoriously hard to predict. Will try to keep you up to date. *hugs*

*hugs everyone and leaves a selection of watermelon, lychees, grapes and mango on the table (just please keep the mango away from me as I'm severely allergic :S)*

Ugh , I harmed again , this time in the morning which is odd as it's usually in the evening. , the urge was just too strong to put it off :-( It's been 4 consecutive days that I have harmed now , it's becoming a daily thing again I can't beleive I'm letting that happen again .At least the urge has quietened down ( for now ) .
I Hate myself . HATE! I'm disgusting ugh .

*hugs for all*
*quickly snaffles mango*