Whoever told you that about your behaviour is out of line. Has anything triggered you tonight? Or is this just generally how you're feeling?

I care about you and so do many people on here, especially Jess and we want to help you if we can at all. Please try and stay safe sweetie x

*cuddles alexx*

Hope ur ok...xxx

I'm just sick of it.
Its like being torn into different pieces.
Finding a group where I feel pretty comfortable.
Feeling I have to be more loyal to family.
Trying to juggle it all.
I dont WANT to juggle it.
I want to do what I do best...go out with the people I have the best time with and not feel ****ing guilty in the morning.

I have a tendancy to ruin realtionships.
Thats what is happening.
I'm ruining it with me and Jess.
Not on purpose...
But self sabotage.
It's not the same.
None of its the same.
I want to go.
I dont want to be found.

Forgive me for not knowing this, but do you have a counsellor or someone who you see regularly in real life?

I know things seem really ****ing hard and unfair now but they can still get better. In a few months/a year you will have finished college and things will be different. You will have more control over your life etc etc. Please try and hang on x

no i've just finished with my counsellor.
Things wont be that different.
I'll still be ****ing around and upsetting people and Jess will just hate me more.

Its so stupid ><
Yesterday...apart from 5 or 10 minutes...was great.
Today has been pretty **** from 2pm onwards

Hi All,
I know i've been gone for a while, well about a month I think. I just wanted to check in and let you all know I am doing really well :-)
I hate to boast but I haven't SI for a month! I feel fantastic.
I have made a few changes in life, gone back to chruch has been the biggest one but it's made all the difference. I feel so much stronger.
Anyway, just thought I would say hello. I doubt I will be around much now, not that I don;t like you but I kind of want to put stuff behind me.
If anyone ever wants to chat please PM me and I will reply. I shall pop in from time to time.
Take Care all
God belss, you will all be in my prayers.
Liz

It's not stupid and Things don't HAVE to be the same hun. Why did you finish with your counsellor? Could you get another one, no offence but it seems like you could really do with that extra input right about now.

Great to hear you are doing so well Squiggles :) And brag away, you should be proud x

*kicks Allys arse out of hiding* You alright there?

No offence taken.
Naww I'm a pretty strong person.
I listened to her techniques for coping. I adapted them to fit me better.
I'm doing just fine....I never really have anything to talk about in the sessions anyway.
Its just I've got so pissed off tonight coz all I seem to have done is mess up and do stuff wrong and upset people and I'm sick of it.
I'm not gonna change who I am because some arse cant except it.

ally, how come u are graduating already? you've only just had exams? don't you have to wait till they;ve marked your exams and sorted out what level of your degree you are getting?

hello to alexx liz emma jem and susan.

zowie you're prob already at hospital but im hoping everything goes ok for you in there.

i cant think straight.
i think i still want to die.

MORE people showing me just how much I'm hated
They even imvited nearly all of MY friends to that group
WHY CANT YOU JUST LET ME GET ON WITH MY LIFE?
EVERYTIME I GET BACK UP, SOMEONE COMES AND KNOCKS ME DOWN AGAIN.

WHAT IS THE ****ING POINT OF GETTING UP AGAIN?

Just a quick drop by, families here... Level of degree? Nope, I got a BA in psychology... And all my grades are in already.

Had the ceremony, my Aunt, Uncle, and cousins sent me a leigh (my uncle is Hawaiian):-) it was so cool, if it weren't for these damn meds I probably would have cried.

*hugs everyone*
I love you guys

Helen... Still hugging luv*snuggles*

Sounds aweome Ally *snuggles*

*cries* I don't know what to do anymore =(

I don't want you to die Chloe, you are going to get stronger, better and happier so that when I go to New Zealand I can look you up. You can beat this, just hang on for a bit longer.

*jumps on Helen and gives her lots of hugs* Alexx and I have both posted on the wall of that group and I also reported it to facebook so should get closed down in two or three days. Ignore them, they are insignificant, pathetic children, nothing more. You are better off without them as friends. If the only way they can feel good about themselves is to make groups like that then they are going to lead really sad lives and I pity them.

Ally, I think she means like whether you got a 1st, 2.1, 2.2 or third (correct me if I am wrong Chloe) or is it just pass and fail in the US? *HUGS* glad your family were nice :)

Helen, I've just had to learn to walk away from people who knock me down. They don't deserve me.

Ally, I'm glad that you went through the ceremony.

Alexx, isn't it weird how we can have a great day then focus on the 10 minutes of it that were bad? In my opinion it gets to a point where you don't need to be loyal to family. Mine still abuses me mentally and emotionally. I need to be loyal to that why?

Chloe, are your exams done yet? And I saw what you wrote in about 20% tone at the bottom of your post. Please don't.

I'm home. Safe despite a flat tire. We've had so many of them that we are a decent team at changing the tire. He does the muscle work but I can do a lot like removing lug nuts once he has them loose. We were on a stretch of freeway that wasn't to bad, nice wide shoulder.

My quilt fabrics match each other! I already have the quilt planned out in my mind.

First place didn't have the sewing machine part I wanted, second did and held it until we could get there. Got earrings at the dept store next door. It may sound weird or superstitious, peridot is the birthstone for my sobriety birthday, not my bio birthday. I've felt half naked without them, vulnerable somehow.

Bozo Cat has sulked and cuddled us.

*falls over from being jumped on* :-p *hugs back though* Yeah I've seen the wall posts, Laura who posted before you and after Alex was a friend of mine aswell. I know of 4 reports about that group now, and tbh I know that her profile will get banned or somethiung cus fb users aren't allowed to make 'hate' groups against people. They weren't my friends anyway.....til 'tonight' tho they probs were pissing about.

I really want to cry meh. I'm just so sick of people trying to ruin good days/evenings for me :crying: I want to see both of you Emma's already as I know NOBODY will be able to ruin it (well I think :P) and then cannot wait to go on hols. Because nobody can hurt me for deffo there (well my mum could but we're hopefully not gonna need to row)

I should be around next weekend if you fancy meeting for coffee/lunch/to see a crappy movie/bowling or something? I say *should* rather than will because of a small chance may be in Cardiff but yeah, if not next weekend could do the following monday/tuesday?

It'd be good to see you under better circumstances ;)

I'll be free that weekend, and don't have to see my dad on the sunday if I don't want mwahaha. I think I'm not seeing Julie on that monday (the 16th)....but could double check tomorrow for you?