*hugs mark and kahlia and lindsay and nicole and everyone else* <3
love you guys. sorry im so useless atm

*curls up but first cuddles everyone who can accept them*

Sorry I didn't answer yours and April's question Mark, well I did to April over fb, but yeah....

Ever get scared of pissing someone off? Well someone in particular? Maybe so much that you end up rowing/them leaving you? :'(

Heather, you're not useless.

*Hugs Claire*

*Hugs Heather* You aren't useless Heather.

*Hugs Helen* It's okay that you didn't answer my question so long as you are safe , I am a bit concerned about you saying you felt poisened :S

Well I stayed up until 9pm , I think it's fair to go to bed , maybe tomorrow I won't want to hurt myself , So sick of it .

Goodnight wardies :)

*hugs Mark back* Sorry, I should have explained that it was nothing to do with an OD or anything. It was just to do with a person. Although I have been wanting to harm :/

Night night Mark xxx

*feels invisible*

You're not invisible Oliver. What's wrong??

sorry I'm just being stupid. meh don't know guess I'm not really telling people how I feel anymore cos I have lost all the little trust I built up again.

Lol, sounds fun Nicole. Mark's right though, do try not to leap in like superman and get murdered or something. OK, I know this isn't EastEnders, but still, your neighbour doesn't sound like the most...neighbourly of people.

Lindsay- Overdoes= bad idea. It might make you feel better now, but in the long run, you know it will just make you feel bad about yourself and like you failed in some way. Is there anything you can do to relax or distract yourself? Anyone you can at least go and spend time with, even if you don't talk to them about anything particuarly important, just so you aren't alone? Please try and stay safe sweetie. *Hugs if that's OK.*

*Hugs for everyone else who wants them.*

Tea anyone?

xx

Oh bum, I missed this page.

Hey Oliver, you're not invisible. I see you, Tudor geek :P I know what it's like not to trust people, I can hardly tell you to talk to someone, because that would make me a massive hypocrite, but still. Do you know what made you lose the trust in the first place?

I hope you're OK Helen, please try and resist those urges, you're doing so well. *Hugs*

xx

*hugs oliver* i see you. you're not invisible.

*hugs helen* try to fight those harming urges. Hope you are okay with the whole feeling poisoned thing... And yes I often worry about making people angry or annoyed with me and then they will leave. Its a horrible worry, but unfortunately, i actually worry about it with most people i know.

*hugs mark* hope you are able to sleep. sorry you had such a hard time today. hopefully tomorrow will be better.

*hugs lindsay* please don't overdose, and call the crisis team if you need to hun.

*hugs april* good luck with your nutrionist. I'm glad you've at least eaten a little something today.

*hugs heather* you are not useless!

*hugs claire, reaper, nicole, lyssie, kahlia, lia and everyone else*

I can't keep up in here lately, I know i didn't reply individually to everyone.. i apologize...
I did manage to get to sleep for a few hours. Uni is going okay. I have a lot of work to do already this weekend. I kind of feel like just holding up in my apartment though... which is odd for me, usually I like to get out on the weekends. Oh well I suppose. Umm... don't really have much else to say about myself. I suck at talking.

You're not being stupid Oliver, we all feel invisible sometimes. I understand it's hard to trust people & open up right now. But we're all here for you, regardless of whether you're able to open up or not :)

I'm low but hey. I'm resisting the urges as always. Just want to scream and shout, show people I'm not okay & hurt myself. Meh. Won't happen. *hugs*

Oh & before I forgot. I won't be around tomorrow & most of Sunday. I'm off up north to see my sister tomorrow =)

Urf, no individuals with this post... just... I don't know. I'm sorry. :-X

Got bad news about Jarrod & work. He's not fired (thank God!!) but he got suspended for something that he didn't really need to suspended for. Basically it's a bunch of idiots causing trouble - or so I gathered. He's gonna call the head of HR tomorrow to get it straightened out. :-/ And that's about as much as I know and as much as I'm gonna post on here for fear of incurring his wrath. Hah. I doubt he'd get angry but... you never know.

So that's got me all freaked out. :( I hate feeling this way. I wish that I were contributing more monetarily. I mean, yes, I am looking for a job, but I am actually scared of the one for which I interviewed yesterday. It sounds like I'd really need to do a lot of growing (as a person) and being more independent etc... definitely scary things on my list. :( Soo... if they say I got it... I don't know what I'll say. I'll probably take it but I'm scared I won't be "good enough." Of course, most of their people are afraid of that. :-/ I'm just... oh ****, I don't know. :(

Make the crap stop coming. :'( And I totally ate too much today, over my "limit," although by far not "enough" by caloric estimates on websites. :( Stupid me.

:crying:

*hugs Laura* I'm trying to fight the urges :) Can't act on them anyway :( Well could on the OD one, or try >.< I'm not okay about the feeling poisoned. Sorry you worry about it too =[

*cuddles all & curls up & cries*

Huggles all, sorry April wasn't ignoring you. Sorry I wasn't about, woke up wishing I had gone ahead with my plan. Feeling very low all day, stuiped thoughts going around my head. so spent all day on face book playing games. Still feel the same way, really want to do somthing stuiped.

*cuddles April tightly*

*cuddles Jill & Hels* Sorry you two aren't feeling the best. Jill, please try not to act on the stupid thoughts, glad you could distract yourself today some. Maybe keep distracting yourself somehow?? And Hels, wish I could help you with the way you're feeling... :(

I'm really exhausted. Frustrated. And I feel like I've eaten way too much. :'(

*hugs and safe packages*

I ended up cutting wound is all sorted out

*cuddles all*

Does anyone want to wake up before 7am for me? :( I have to be up no later than 6.30am I expect. It's already 11.30pm. Haven't even packed yet lol.

*hugs if okay reaper* hi im becca i am a regular here

Lol Hels, sure, I'll get up before 7am for you. :P Since I usually wake up/get up at 6am that shouldn't be a problem for me. Sorry, not rubbing it in, or at least, not meaning to. :-/ It's very uncommon to find someone my age that gets up that early... even my parents are surprised. Heehee. XD *cuddles* I hope that you have a good time at your sister's (?right?).

*cuddles Becca if okay* How are you doing, love?

*glomps Lia 'cause I spy her!!!*

*sits in a corner somewhere safe and cries* sorry i have been a useless ward mate recently.
I'm also anxious and excited for tomorrow

*cuddles Oliver* Don't worry about being "useless" - you weren't being useless anyway - you just had a TON of stuff on your plate that you were coping with, and it's no wonder that you kind of took a break from the ward!! What's tomorrow? whatever it is, I'm glad that you have something to be excited about again. ^_^

Damn been spotted! Not that I was hiding. I'll get up for you Helen, I don't get up early, but I am so used to being tired and not sleeping, I can't see what differecne it's going to make.

Hey, I have a new term. Instead of 'fine' or 'bangtidy' I'm going to 'consist of minute particles' my friend dictionary.comed 'fine' and that's one of the results she got.

What's going on tomorrow Oliver?

Are you feeling any better April? *Hugs*

xx

*cuddles back* hanging in there

Glad to hear it Becca :) How have you been today? xx

its manchester pride parade tomorrow, which I am marching in, excited as its my first ever pride, but really anxious cos of loads of people being there.
*cuddles you all* I best get to bed now, may post some photos of pride tomorrow if anyone would like to see, or will make a thread in the photo board. night all

Yay April, thank you :P You're not rubbing it in at all :) I agree it's uncommon but some people just do *cuddles tight* It is my sister's yes :D

*cuddles Oliver* You're not useless.

QFT

Thanks Lia ^_^ Nice new term =P

YAAAAAAAAAAAY, I want piccies!!!!!!! Have fun ^_^ I'll be near you tomorrow anyway ;) Well...sort of.

*cuddles everyone*

Have fun Oliver :)

oooo, enjoy pride oliver =]

*peeks in and sends hugs to everyone*

*jumps on Katie* Love you birthday girl ;)

*falls over and giggles* love you too gorgeous :)

Have a good time Oliver x

Nobody's wishing me a good time =[

*giggles but helps you up*

Aww... have a good time sleeping when you do go! *giggles* Hope you have a good time tomorrow ;-)

Cheeky :P Thank you honey :D

Thankyou. I ended up ranting to my mate by text and apologising today...and then i went to sleep...well....cried myself to sleep.

Hope everyone is doing well!!

I'm so drained and over all of this.

Not saying a word all day is exhausting. I can't sleep either tho. Just another reason I am a pathetic, ugly, failure.

Ok, i'll shut up.. sorry. i'm being whiny and stupid.

Pops in again and leaves hugs for everyone. Just touching base, and still useless but really appreciate the hugs and being jumped on and missed. Like really really xx

*hugs you again JK*

*glomps JK* - missed you.

*hugs Laura*

Sorry, just not keeping up at the moment ...

*Hugs Kaytee*

*Hugs Helen* I hope you got up on time and enjoy yourself :)

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs JK*

*Hugs Kahlia*

*Hugs Lex*

*Hugs April*

*Hugs Oliver* Have a nice time :)

*Hugs everyone I have forgotten*

*hugs everyone and once again kicks herself for missing JK.*
*gives oliver evils but then hugs him to let him know im only messing* wish i was close enough to go to pride! i was supposed to be going to pride in reading on the 4th sept but have fallen out with the mate i was gonna go with so now i cant :(

This puts a smile on my face :) Feeling rough so I watched it and thought I'd share .

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yDv2OpNHNs[/ame]

Oh I almost forgot , I texted Hayley yesterday and got a reply from her this morning , she is back from her holiday and is currently moving into a new flat .She is not online in her new flat yet I think she said, the internet engineer comes out next week :)


Oh and I was reading the birthdays and *Happy Birthday Kaytee!!*

Happy Birthday!

I am so, so triggered to overdose. I am tired of fighting this.

*Hugs Lindsay* I know its hard to fight it but please try . An Overdose could so easily go wrong :(