Hey everyone. I haven't been here in a while. Hope you are all doing alright.

Hey Jessica!!!!!!!!! *Hugs* How have you been?

I've been okay. I haven't SI'd in quite some time. I'm getting bad urges to though. It's hard to resist, I have to try though. I lost a friend to suicide a week ago and I've been struggling a fair bit since.

How are you doing Mark? *huggles*

Oh Jessica I'm so sorry to hear about your friend *Hugs*
It's good that you haven't S.I.'d in a while and I know how the urges get but you can fight through these urges and come out the other side stronger .

I'm anxious about my Groups to grow for psycho-social intervention group at 2 pm It's the second one of twelve the first was intense for me and it was just the getting to know each other bit they said it gets intense from this session , erp:S Sorry that sounded self involved .

Eep. That does not sound fun. :( *hugs* Good luck. Maybe it won't be as bad as you think it will.

I will try my best to fight through. I have an appointment with my doctor next week for the first time in two months and it would be really bad for me give in at this point.

Thankyou Jess :)
You can get to your Dr's apointment next week, You can make it . Good luck with your Dr's appointment , I know they can be nerve wracking *Hugs*

Thanks. I better get to bed. I have class first thing in the morning. I'll drop in again when I can. *hug*

Sleep well :)

curls up, im shaking so much right now

*cuddles all* I SI'd last night :(

In uni now, feeling so poorly, my abdomen is so tense and sore. Grr.

And I'm tired, only got 3 hours sleep

I hope you're all okay x

hi.
I'm sorry I've not been in for ages, depression has gone really bad and stuff. I'm doing bad, already missed so much uni.
*hugs all* and promise I will try be in here a bit more.

Hugs to all,
rubbish day at school. really freaked out a teacher with madness

*hugs everyone*
*tackles jess and oliver as I haven't seen them in ages*

I didn't realize how much my ocd-ness impacts my depression level until i managed to get my desk totally cleared off (only to cover it in boxes of files again)... I established that no matter what, at the end of the day my desk needs to be clean and organized so when I come in in the mornings it doesn't make me feel lethargic, guilty and depressed. How pathetic is it that the state of my desk has that big of an impact on me? *shakes head*
I've almost got all my work caught up (though I didn't participate in planning bosses day nor will I be helping put it on today ~guilt pangs but I'll get over it, they prefer my office to be functional to me throwing them a party with the rest of the staff anyhow~) I figure by this time next week I'll have everything set and start sending out more old crap to archives. *nods*
I had more to update on (as I don't usually fill people in but I'm feeling capable today) but I have to go cover the front desk so maybe more to come later...

*huggles everyone*
i think whoever invented playdough should get a medal <3

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Crimson*

*Huge Hugs for Oliver as I haven't chatted for a while*

*Hugs Marshki*

*Hugs Jill*

My "Group for Psycho-social interventions" was VERY VERY intense and nerve wracking , some more confident people in the group did most of the talking and I just say in my seat and hoped that I woulden't have to speak in front of people , I DON'T do groups and there was 15 of us and 2 staff , In the halftime break I even had to hide in the toilet and take a 3rd Diaz of the day :( I was seriously considering going into the toilet and cutting with my "emergency tool" :S Sorry

*hugs everyone lots*

Crimson, that's not pathetic sweetheart. I think it helps anyone to come into work with a clean desk and stuffs. Let alone those who have OCD and that. It's not pathetic, I promise you *cuddles*

Nicole, I quite agree, it's amazing stuff.

Jill, why you shaking? *hugs*

Oliver, I'm sorry you're struggling so much right now. *offers hugs*

Mark, hope your group went/is going okay and not too intense for you *hugs* EDIT: I'm sorry it was so intense Mark :( *hugs again*

Kahlia, sorry to hear about that *cuddles lots*

Sarah, I'm sorry you're in so much pain.

I miss April :( Hope her training is going well.

*hugs helen* i know, it saved me from a major panick attack today (i used to use stress balls but i kept popping them so now i use playdough as a substitute, so much better!) but i was in a lesson and one of the girls was like 'do you guys smell playdough?' so i had to fess up and tell them about my panick attacks :(

*cuddles Helen back*
*hugs Mark and Nicole*

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO playdough. *Sits with Nicole and starts making playdough animals and flowers for everyone.*

Strawberry tea anyone? It's quite cold here lately... No snow but frigid enough I may start wearing my snow pants to work anyway. A warm cocoa or some tea does wonders though :)

cuddles all. erm okay why im i shaking, went to the dr today. erm told him how i felt. have now got a note saying im fit for work, but need to taken away from jobs that stress me out, like the customer service desk. im so scared about tomorrow now, when i have to hand this to my manger, dont really think it will make a blind bit of diffrence. just make this ten times worse, as they are a pack of assholes. would have been better being signed off, so i could clear my head. fml i really want to hide and not go in tomorrow. sorry being pathetic.

*Hugs Crimson* Playdough doodles. :)

*Hugs Jill* Good luck tomorrow with your manager .