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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

katnovia 02-05-2010 12:12 AM

*cuddles julie* you too hun.

*cuddles oliver back* I feel pathetic. All i'm doing with myself is sitting debating wether to go to bed or not. I'm tired, but I know the second my head hits the pillow baby will wake up and i'll have to go and feed her in the lonely dark and then sit by the cotside until goodness knows when. it's not that i resent being with her, its just that I'm tired of never getting any proper sleep when I try and missing the opportunities when I don't try.

me no like when baby hazs gets yp an kat tireded cos kat get upsets an me no get play or talk an get lonly. Rosie

Scarletdreamer 02-05-2010 12:33 AM

I spy a Hayley, a Kat, and an Oliver!! *cuddles all*

Just ran my hubby through Deadmines, Hayley - 64 unholy death knight (me) and him on his 17-now-18 hunter. :) I was so freaking anxious at the beginning... I hate running dungeons and unholy isn't the best one for running dungeons. Frost is so much better. But anyway... it was in return for the 2 runs I've gotten from him (for my hunter & rogue)... fun. But anyway, how are you doing? did you manage to get some time on WoW last night? *squishes*

Mark, I know you're probably asleep by now - and resting peacefully, I hope - but I wanted to say, before I forgot, that I think you're absolutely incredible for going nearly a week without SI. This is a slip. Try not to let it get you down. Before you know it you'll have gone two weeks, then three without SI'ing. You can make it. :) I have faith in you... in all of us. *cuddles*

Kat *big cuddles if that's okay* I'm sorry that you're not doing too well at the mo... how old is your baby? if you don't mind me asking... I can see why you would be hesitant to go to bed but if you're tired maybe you ought to try and do and see if your baby doesn't wake up... and anyway, at least you might be able to get an hour or so's rest. That might rejuvenate you a bit, I dunno.

Oliver, hope you enjoyed (or are enjoying) Dr. Who. :) I can't wait until uni is officially over... then Jarrod & I can watch more Bones. I love that show but we haven't watched any since, like, January. Heh. I hope they're still up and free online, because I don't want to pay for the DVDs. Lol. Yeah, I'm a cheapskate... How are you feeling? *cuddles* Hope you're doing a bit better than you were last night.

Nicole, love, you'll make it through. I was sexually abused too and while I don't remember when it was, I can understand the meaning behind the date... but it shouldn't be, it's "just another day" - and as Kat said, time will pass and soon it WILL become just another day... and you'll feel vaguely sad... and then realize why, but only after the fact. It's an awful cliché and one that you hear all too often but time DOES heal. *holds you & rocks* How else have you been doing??

Julie *cuddles* I'm glad that you're doing alright - or seem to be alright anyway? - has your day been fun? Hope so... some of us need to be enjoying ourselves to spread the positivity around!! lol. Do enjoy going to the pool. :)

Laura, Kahlia, Crimson, JK, how are you all doing?? JK, sorry it doesn't seem like I'm responding to your post, it's just that I can't remember all that you said!! I would ask your therapist why s/he asked you that question though... because if you're able to hold down a fulltime job etc. without having too many difficulties then I don't see why s/he would ask that question. :-/ Sorry if that didn't make too much sense...

I hope I didn't miss anyone and if I did I really do apologize... my brain is all muzzy from the anxiety right now and typing is helping... so I think I'm just gonna keep typing!! lol. It's a way to get out the jitteriness without me moving physically (other than my fingers, of course).

The Deadmines run was really anxiety-provoking, didn't think that I could do it but I did, with only a minor blooper that was easily fixed. :-/ And I will definitely send you some of that warmth, Kat!! it's too hot over here for me. :-X Especially without a/c.

Umm, I can't think of anything else to type except the fact that I might be going into a mixed episode, I really don't know. (I'm bipolar II or NOS, not sure which, for those who don't know.) I don't WANT to go into a mixed episode because then I'm low enough to want to die and have energy enough to carry it out. :( I can feel the tension building though... if I can only make it through this week... :-S Finals - need to prep for them - and that dumb soc paper, really need to write that. Got a page done but that's not good enough... need at least nine pages. Plus the health psych paper... GRRRR!!!! :'(

*hides in a hole where no one can find her*

frenchhorn 02-05-2010 12:35 AM

*cuddles Kat* it must be tough getting so little sleep because of your baby, what is there name?

*is still chilly, I'm sure there must be a fire in here somewhere, goes in hunt of one*

frenchhorn 02-05-2010 12:40 AM

*cuddles April* yes dr who was good and next weeks looks amazing.
could you send me some of your warmth too, was sat outside having a drink with a friend in Canal Street, and forgot it gets cold in the evening and was only wearing shirt and jeans and am still trying to warm up.

I'm sorry you feel like you might be going into a mixed episode, even though I don't have bipolar I know what you mean with the feeling low enough to die, and having enough energy to do it, it really sucks, keep going hun, you an get through this, we're all here to support you
good luck with your upcoming finals

CrazyHayley 02-05-2010 12:41 AM

I spy Oliver and April! *huggles them tightly*

So sorry guys but I'm not up to doing individual replies tonight, I should have been medicated and in bed long ago, but I was out and not yet taken my meds as I needed to be awake enough to come on here...I needed to be on here so so badly earlier.

Thank you for all your kind words and support, I just find them hard to take at the moment, like you're just saying that to be nice but don't really mean it. But then, the little bit of sane hayley that's still here tries to slap sense into myself and listen to you.

*potentially SI triggerring and I don't know how to hide stuff*
When I was getting ready to go out earlier, I was soooo tempted to burn myself when ironing my clothes....for no real reason....I just had the urge over and over again. So I'm thinking, well where have those thoughts come from?! Oh yes, PMDD, so I have to talk to myself and convince myself that I don't really want to do it, its just my hormones sending me loopy. But, I so do want to do it. In 2days I'll be 10months free, so I'm thinking I'd rather do it before that anniversary and then I've only buggerred up 9months rather than 10months....but then I've got to try and remember that in 2weeks time I'll be on the way to being sane again and I don't want to undo all of my hard work so far. I'm just worried that in a few days the sane part of me that is managing to talk myself out of things at the moment will be to weak and quiet. Eoghan's away on exercise for a week so I was thinking I could get away with being 'naughty' and he wouldn't need to know.....

*banishes self to smoking shelter for the night*

katnovia 02-05-2010 12:47 AM

*cuddles hayley tight before she escapes out to the smoking shelter* i wish i had more than that for you.

Oliver: I have a mink blankie, i'm so cold. I wish hubby was here.*huddles under it* Her name is Hazel-Grace. or baby haz/muppet/fish/hazel-gracie-bumps

*cuddles april back* She's 7 1/2 months old and has hit a no sleep patch since 5 months, she's completely mummy dependant cos I breast-feed and hubby works unpredictable hours (darn police force) so i'm the only constant thing in her life. I'm used to bad nights with nightmares, especially at the moment. but being woken in the middle of them by a crying baby is really screwing me up.

*hugs* I really hope that you arn't going into a mixed episode, but if you are, then I hope that you stay strong and get through it, which I'm sure you will.

Scarletdreamer 02-05-2010 12:47 AM

Oh Hayley, love, we don't lie to each other in here... I wouldn't say nice things just to be nice. I'm honest, if nothing else good, lol. And you are a sweet, lovely person, and WILL make it through this. Just keep holding on to the fact that it's the PMDD that's making you that way... and you've come so far, 9 months is amazing!!!!, and 10 months is soo close... you can make it, sweetie. Keep fighting, keep coming on here when you can, and remember that we're all rooting for you. *big cuddles*

*cuddles Oliver* Mmm what sort of hot drink did you have? :) And yeh, I bet it still does get cold over there, it's just barely May. I'm sorry that you understand what I'm talking about... although kind of glad that someone does... :( I just texted my NP about it and hopefully she'll get back to me about it. It might be lack of sleep, I don't know, as we've been staying up a lot later than we did before Jarrod was on furlough and getting up only a little later. GRRRR. :( Sorry for whinging...

*hides some more* :crying:

katnovia 02-05-2010 12:56 AM

i've been saying for ages i should hit the sack, im now falling apart with tiredness. the girls are going mad because they're so tired and i have such a headache it's stupid. I need to hit the pillow. I wish someone was here I'm afraid of tonight. *curls up in a ball* i have to sleep. I have to. but i know hazel is going to wake up just as I settle.

katnovia 02-05-2010 12:57 AM

i give in. wish me luck *crawls to bed and cries self to sleep*

frenchhorn 02-05-2010 01:03 AM

well I had a diet coke while I was out with my friend in canal street, and then a hot chocolate at home, yeah it odes get really cold in the evenings, which I forgot about, my friend asked if I wanted to go for a drink on canal street after youth group, so I said yeah ok, and was wearing long sleeve t-shirt and a hoody and was boiling, because it was sunny, so went home and changed into a shirt and cos it was so warm we decided to sit outside, but then it starts getting really windy and suddenly in the evening the temp suddenly drops loads.

*cuddles Hayley* I agree with April, we dont say things we dont mean in here, I think all of you are amazing and its the truth. keep fighting 9months is amazing and your so close to 10, you can do it, yeah like April said, just think its the PMDD making me think like that.

*cuddles Kat* night, I hope you manage to get some sleep, and thats a beautiful name for your baby.

*shivers in a corner*

CrazyHayley 02-05-2010 01:03 AM

*comes in from smoking shelter as there's a thunderstorm - eek!*

Good luck with getting some sleep Kat. Thanks for the cuddles.

Thanks April for the cuddles and honesty too.

I've just tried writing a journal entry to see if that'd help, but not really. I'm starting to twitch aswell (a lovely symptom of M.E) so I should really take my meds now, they make me drowsy, so perhaps sleep would be best for me.

*takes meds and toddles down to the bathroom to get ready for bed*

edit: ooh thanks for the cuddles Oliver. Yeah I do actually have a post it note on my mirror saying "I AM NOT LOOSING THE PLOT OR THE WILL TO LIVE. I AM HOWEVER PMDD'IN" in bright red marker pen....however.....I looked at it earlier and thought "yeah right, whatever!" lol

CrazyHayley 02-05-2010 01:22 AM

*comes out of bathroom, back into common room*

aha! I see Helen and Laura have joined us :-) *huggles them both tightly* Sorry I've not more at the moment.

RightyO my fellow wardies, I'm grabbing my teddy bear and going to snuggle down over there *points* with my earplugs in so that I don't freak out too much in the storm. This ward is amazing with all its time zones and weather systems *mind boggles* :crazy:

Night/morning/afternoon/evening all! :-p*group huggle* I hope I'm a bit more on an even keel after a good nights sleep.

arghh! the thunder is getting louder :cry:

frenchhorn 02-05-2010 01:32 AM

night hayley, hope you have a good sleep.

MammaMia 02-05-2010 01:51 AM

*cuddles everyone and then hides*

frenchhorn 02-05-2010 02:16 AM

*comes find Helen and hugs* how are you?

MammaMia 02-05-2010 02:25 AM

Low. Haha.

frenchhorn 02-05-2010 02:29 AM

*cuddles Helen tight* sorry your feeling low hun, anything I an do to help?

MammaMia 02-05-2010 02:43 AM

Shoot me? :)

xxjuliexx 02-05-2010 02:43 AM

hi hows it going

frenchhorn 02-05-2010 02:44 AM

NO Helen, *cuddles tight and stays sat next to*

Hi Julie *hugs*


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