Huggles all. Nice one April well done. Stay safe mark and lia.
April and lia, don't worry about me I'm okays, just needed that last night, so much going on, need a relese from everything, just forget my problem just for one night.

That's great April. I'm happy for you. :)

*hides*

I'm worried about you both, Mark & Lia. :( Please stay safe, and Mark, does your nurse know that you're off your Antabuse and back drinking again? :-S Sorry if that's a dense question but I really do think that she ought to know... please stay safe, can't say that enough...

Thanks for the congrats, everyone... feel special 'cause you know before even my parents do. XD I'm so excited/scared... I have to go for a 2-week-long training course sometime in October, somewhere in the state (not sure where and I think I'd have to drive myself, which is rather terrifying... have never driven for a longer period of time than an hour so... well yeah, going for 3-4 hours somewhere would really be difficult). Argh. Especially difficult since the training courses are usually held somewhere in a largish town/city and I don't have a GPS. Hah. :( But I'm still excited. ^_^

Hels, I'm sorry I missed you on FB, I had just gotten on when I got the phone call from the job place for me to come in and talk with them a bit. I didn't ignore you, honest. I just really had to move quickly. :( I hope that you don't feel ignored, and yes, your feelings do matter. *hugs*

Just finished my lunch, ugh. :( Feel so damn full, hate it. Breakfast was easier because I ate that over the span of half an hour, but lunch Jarrod and I just sat down to eat. And ate it. Ugh. Greek yoghurt takes up a hell of a lot of room in my poor stomach. :( And my therapist's on vacation now so I won't see her for about 3 weeks, so I don't really have anyone to vent to about it, even if it is just "once" a week (I say "once" because she is SO FRICKIN' IRREGULAR with her appts... >:( ...it upsets me). I suppose I could text my NP but that is rather a pointless text. Blah.

Anyway. I'll stop taking up space here and do something more productive... like... ummm... taking a nap?? :-/

congrats on the job april =] ^.^
i gotta go to class [boooo] but will hopefully be on later. wont be on tomorrow tho, as cousins wedding

i know how much it sucks feeling full but unfortunately you have to sit with it. and no need to apologise for posting <3

I've now lost everything and I feel like I'm on this downwards spiral with no willpower to even bother getting out of it. I want to die.

Congratulations April :D :D :D

lia sweetheart, do you need to talk? you can PM me if you want. *huggles*

Hugs are *always* okay! As usual it all looks better in the morning, just sometimes I get so tired of it all, and then he wonders why I get triggered sometimes, and he feels bad, which makes me feel bad, and it turns into this vicious cycle thing...

*hugs to everyone else*

Sorry if i miss replying to you there have been many pages since yesterday.

*cuddles april* Congrats on the job!!!

*cuddles helen* i'm glad that your interview went mostly okay! And you are definitely not pathetic, you have a lot going on right now with being sick and all.

*hugs crimson* good luck with the interview process for the job! And I think a lot of people have trouble with eating foods of certain textures. I know that sometimes even if i like something I can't swallow it because it.. i dont know how to word this.. but it almost creeps me out.. or give me the heebie jeebies (as my mother would say haha). I'm sorry you were having trouble eating your fruit 2day...

*hugs mark* that present sounds lovely. I think she'll love it! Try to stay safe with the drinking.

*hugs lia* talk to us hun? please try to stay safe. I am really concerned for you right now.

*hugs shaughnessy* Hi! welcome! I'm Laura. I'm glad you feel better today. Sorry that your dad was being like that las tnight.

*hugs heather* hope you have a good day at class and try to have fun at the wedding.

*hugs kahlia* I'm sorry that you housemate was not being very nice when talking to you. Do you think it could have been because he isn't feeling very well? I hope that he gets better soon.

*hugs jill* hope you are okay. Glad that you found some release but please try not to make at habit of it.

*hugs felicia, lex, claire, mara, kaytee, and everyone else* sorry if i didnt reply individually to you. I did read all the pages though and am thinking of everyone.

I'm sorry that so many of us are struggling right now. I don't really know what to say about myself. I'm existing i guess is the best way to put it. I just want to feel happier for once in my life not this stupid flat-ish feeling that i have going on.

I want to go too Deep :S man I'm so sorry usually alcohol dull the urges , I could use a reply to this post , I'm freaking myself out sorry

.

Does anyone know the UK samaritons number?.........I'm feeling desperate , The football is on soon maybe I can Lose myself in the game ......

*hugs mark tight* please dont do anything. Im here if you want to talk. I dont know the number for the samaritans as i am not in the UK but I could try to google it for you if you'd like

EDIT: the samaritans website has the number on the top of the page http://www.samaritans.org/

*hugs Mark* The number is 08457 90 90 90.

I hope you stay as safe as you can.

Thankyou Laura and Claire I am seriously considering calling them

Please do if you feel you need to. It might help.

Does anyone think a minor injuries unit would have a nurse on duty past 8 pm? I have not done anything to need them but was wondering

please do mark if you are feeling like you are going to do something... I would hate to see anything bad happen to you hun.

*extra cuddles*

remember my PM box is always open too.

I hate I hate I hate feeling this I don't WANT to harm I feel the NEED to , I am scared , sorry

Mark, love, please stay safe, and you too, Lia. I'm getting really really worried about the both of you. Please keep posting/PM me or someone else. I wish I could whisk you both away out of harm's way and to a better place. :( And Lia, hon, what do you mean you've lost everything? I mean, not to sound harsh or anything but I thought you'd been feeling that way for some time, has something changed other than your mood worsening? *cuddles both tightly*

Laura, I spy you!! *glomps* :) I'm sorry that you are just... existing. I'm not in such a good way myself but I do wish that I could help you in some way, I don't know... I guess I've got that Superman complex going on, where I want to save the world, heh.

*cuddles everyone else* I'm really tired right now, took a nap and now just want to keep sleeping. Ugh. And for some reason am also really really itchy. UGH. :(

Oh and Hels, meant to say earlier, YOU ARE NOT PATHETIC. No one in here is. Well done for making it to your interview. *huggles* Was it for college or for the job? can't remember, sorry, am being dense. :-/

*extra cuddles for all since I feel like it* ;)