Heya,
I'm not that great but it doesn't matter :( i'm still around unfornelty, I feel really ill so i might just go to bed but i dunno.

Hope everyone is ok. *hugs everyone*

*huggles all the people who need it and then runs away and hides*

*hugs Alexx*
honey you arent broken, you are ill but you are a fighter and you are fighting a good fight and you will be okay. we're all here for you
*squishes Helen*
that is very eloquent honey and it's so brave of you to write it and send it. it took so much courage to type it all out - please send it! it's a good thing, getting that all out so you can get some help and not keep it all inside.
*hugs Emma*
hope you are okay honey, don't forget to look after yourself
*hugs Kit and lil-princess Emma and sends you both good thoughts*
xxxooo

okay am off to bed in Denial Tent
campfire is still going and there are smores and cocoa and popcorn for whoever wants it :)
have a good night people
be safe and be strong

Thanks guys, I've sent it.

Freaking scared, but it's gotta be for the best, who knows what this might bring, I dunno.

I just hooooooope so much that she doesn't tell my mum. That's something I'm not ready for her to know, I'm getting my head around it. But first I want to make myself better.

I feel like I can fight everything tonight. At same time I don't but hey ho.

I should go to sleep soon tbh, still sipping wine HA! Have hardly had any though so it's all good :)

*hugs hells*

Well done Helen- that really good and very eloquent (although I think I spotted something I wrote in there :P joking). I hope it all goes well tomorrow. When do you see her?

Emma I am really glad you are still around and so proud of you. I hope you feel better soon *hugs*

*cuddles Kit and Alexx and anyone who needs it*

xxx

Night Callie, hope you sleep well :)

And Helen, yes you probably should be going to bed soon if you have things to do tomorrow :)

I am still attempting to write my essay....I say write. I have actually only written about 2 sentences but suppose thats a start x Trying to be productive and distract myself :S

*wanders to her dark corner in the denial tent*
bed time me thinkies...
Night guys
soryyy :/
Take care
xxxxxxx
*hugs for everyone*

*hugs all*

Those who r going to sleep...nitey nite...sweet dreams, hope u wake up feeling spleesh tomorrow :-)

Thank you sweetheart :)

Some of it was your stuff :hehe: But adapted haha. Thanks hun, I am scared about it but feel I can take on anything right this moment. I'm due in college tomorrow for abouts 12.30, might come in early to see her, cus she wants to show me this awesome email anyway :) But um we'll see. I might not get to see her til tuesday though...

Awwwwww hun, write write write haha! Yes I should but probs won't :nono:

Night sweetie, sleep well. Don't apolgise xxxx

*snuggles Emma and Alexx and Kit and Helen and Jeremy goodnight*
off to join Alexx in the Denial Tent and go to bed
(hmm that sounds dirty)

night all :)

Sleep well Callie :]

So proud of you!!!!

*bangs head against the wall* I have written 300 words of my essay. That is it. I just can't concentrate. It seems so trivial and yet so important at the same time.

Instead I have been planning almost a timetable of destruction for over Easter break. It will be 7 weeks without seeing my counsellor/co-ordinator or getting any support and whilst for two weeks I can abuse myself as much as I want, it will become more difficult after that. For one thing, I am working 16 days in a row, so A+E trips are out of the question. So I have turned to food control as the answer again. Damn this is ****ed up.

Instead of writing an essay, I am planning different experiments and ways to hurt myself. Seriously...who does that? Easter is so not going to be the best time. Plus I won't be able to access RYL as much. ****.

*buries self in Denial tent and attempts to remove timetable from sight*

*hugs Lifesabitch*

Right..at 1000 words I am going to bed. Rest of the damn thing can be written tomorrow when hopefully I will wake up in some way resembling a normal human being. Night all! *hugs Kit back*

Emma x

Ur doing well Emma :-)
Keep it up...and gnite there

Ugh.

I fell asleep at my laptop and feel sick =\

She already replied, wow!

"you did the right thing, we cant have you feeling like this when we are here to help. you know you can tell me anything and i will act in your best interests. i hope you do go and see julie - you agreed with julie that we 'staff' could share information about you if it would help you. as such i'm going to speak to her today.

keep telling us how you feel andlet us help you. come here before you take any actions. we will help you"

I have so much damm respect for her. Handled it pretty much how I wanted really :)

Yay Helen I am so pleased it has worked out for you :) She seems lovely! Maybe it is a good idea if you go back and see Julie? *hugs* xx

Thanks Jetforce :)

*hugs Helen*
I'm so glad you got such a positive, supportive response hun.

*throws her stuffed lamb at her RYL Twin*
Hey Callie, did I miss it, or did you not post telling us how the DBT meeting went?
*snuggles her twin and waits to hear*

Emma hunni, I am so sorry you're feeling this way. Sweetie, I understand wanting to harm but please, please, PLEASE take care sweetie, please be careful.
*wraps Emma in a warm fuzzy blanket and snuggles her gently*

*cuddles anyone else who needs it*
I'm sorry if I missed addressing anything important for y'all... It's 04:30 and I am SO tired I can hardly see straight... And yet I can't fall back asleep :(

I've got a counseling session in 3 1/2 hours... Before I actually go in I'm supposed to fill out this 'hows it been going' sheet... It's rather similar to a depression/anxiety inventory sheet with things like 'I have thought about suicide' and 'I felt like my life was not worth living' or 'I felt that things in my life were going my way'... Problem: I don't think I can really answer most of the items... I've just been so blank. Not the normal blank you might associate with depression, just... blank. Nothing. Nothing bad (well, ok I can answer the suicide ones), nothing good, just... blank. It's not a comfortable feeling... But I can't really describe it... I can only say that I don't like it...

*sigh*

*curls up in the denial tent and trys to get a little more sleep*